Chapter 16

Ethan

I STAYED CLEAR OF JENNA FOR the rest of the day. Just seeing that asshole with his hands wrapped around her neck stirred up so many memories of my childhood and the way my mother would allow my father to treat her. Then how she’d overlook it when he hadn’t taken out enough of his frustrations on her and would come looking for me.

“Don’t let him hear you crying, Ethan, it will only make him angrier.” That was the best comfort my mother could offer me as I tried to halt the pain I was in thanks to my father. I would lie in bed at night, covering my head with my pillow when I’d hear their arguments begin, knowing it was just a matter of time before the inevitable was going to happen. Then the next morning, when my father was sobered up and had no recollection of what he’d done, I was to pretend like nothing had happened. He was a dedicated dad who coached my little league team, and I was just a normal nine-year-old boy living a happy life in suburbia. My mother would even go as far as to put some of her makeup on my face, so he wouldn’t see the bruises he’d caused. “He would feel awful if he knew what he’d done, Ethan. He really does love us very much. He’s just under a lot of pressure, sweetie.” The more I thought about how weak and spineless my mother was the more I was growing to hate her just as much as my father, even in her grave.

My sister, who was seven years older than me, was more of a mother. After my father passed out from his drunken rage, she’d sneak into my bedroom to comfort me. “It’s okay, Ethan. You can cry. I promise you, once I’m old enough, I’ll get my own place and get you out of here.” She’d wrap her arms around me and rub my back and we’d cry together until I fell asleep.

It was from the fucked-up childhood that my imagination began to take flight. I’d go into my own little fantasy world to escape my life. Once I got older I started writing out all the make-believe worlds in my mind and impressed the hell out of my English teachers who encouraged me to hold onto the gift I possessed.

“You have a gift for writing?” My father laughed, swaying back and forth in his drunken stupor. “You better get over that fantasy really quick, boy, because that so-called gift isn’t going to pay the bills.”

It was then that I made a promise to myself that I was going to make it big and show that motherfucker he was wrong.

I sat in my car for some time, staring out into the darkness. It was late, and I probably should have just gone to bed, but when I saw the parlor light on in Jenna’s place, I couldn’t resist walking up onto the porch and knocking on her door.

“Hey!” A huge smile stretched across her face when she flung the door open.

My eyes gravitated to her neck even though I didn’t want them to, and my stomach twisted at the purple bruising.

“It’s fine, Ethan,” she reassured me as if she were reading my mind. “Come in.” She opened the door wider, and I took a step inside.

“Jenna, I’m really sorry for butting into your business like that, but I just couldn’t stand seeing him put his hands on you.”

“It’s okay, Ethan.”

“No. It’s not okay for him to treat you like that.”

“I know that, and I’m not with him anymore, so that will never happen again.”

“Jenna, you know that’s not acceptable at all, no matter who you’re with...don’t allow the next guy to treat you that way.”

“Yes. I know. I’m not dumb. I’d never stick around and be someone’s punching bag.” She took my hand in hers and moved closer. “Thank you for coming to my rescue. It really did mean a lot.”

I shook my head and looked away. “It just reminded me so much of my father and my mother.”

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

Her deep-brown eyes penetrated into mine, and I was unable to look away. My head lowered to hers, and she stretched her neck to meet me until I finally felt her warm, soft lips on mine. It was brief and soft, but it was packed with more depth, more emotion, and more passion than any kiss I’d ever experienced in my life. Her hands moved up my back and something inside me ignited. I pushed her against the wall, parting her lips with my tongue. She kissed me back, matching my eagerness. My hands moved up her shirt and under her bra, skimming the bare skin of her breasts. She feverishly undid the buttons on my pants as my tongue trailed down her neck.

It had been well over a year since I had sex, and being with Jenna made me realize how much my body was craving a woman’s touch. Her hands found their way under my boxers and I let out a pleasurable gasp. Our lips remained intact as we slid down to the floor and I lifted her shirt over her head, removing her bra and finding her breast with my mouth. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted her so bad, but I had to speak up before we went any further.

“Jenna?” I peered up at her. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

She bit her bottom lip before taking my face in her hands. “Well, then I guess we better make the most of the time we have.” Her eyes told a different story than the forced smile on her face. She stood up and reached for my hand, leading me up to her bedroom. We stood in front of the bed and our lips met once again. When she took a step back to undress, my eyes were unable to look away from her beautiful naked body. She moved closer and tugged on my pants, allowing them to fall to the floor. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stop the fire she’d set inside of me, but I needed reassurance that she knew this probably wasn’t going any further than tonight.

“Jenna, I just don’t want you—”

“Will you just be quiet? We’re wasting valuable time.” She smiled once again, this time a little more convincing than before.

I smiled back and honored her request, making every single second count as we got lost in each other over and over again.

***

“You’re shivering,” Jenna whispered as we lay together naked in each other’s arms, coming down from the sexual high we’d been in for the last few hours.

“It’s just—it’s been a while since I felt like this.”

She brushed her lips across my chest and pulled up the blanket. I drew her closer and kissed the top of her head. I knew now more than ever that she wasn’t like every other girl, and I was foolish for thinking I could have sex with her and just pretend like it never happened in the morning. But she deserved so much better, someone who could give their heart freely to her, the same way she gave hers to others. She’d never be happy with what I had to offer and once she realized that, she’d be gone from my life, the same way everything else that mattered to me was. I closed my eyes, feeling so at ease as her warm, soft hands glided down my back, wishing we could stay in the moment forever.

“That was pretty amazing.” She looked up at me and grinned.

Amazing didn’t even begin to describe what being with her was like. She nuzzled into my shoulder, and I played with her hair, chuckling when she stopped talking mid-sentence and I looked down to find her fast asleep. As good as she made me feel, I was still having some regrets over allowing this to happen. She’d awoken every part of me physically, but she’d also stirred something up in me emotionally, something that had been dead inside of me for a long time, and it scared me half to death.