Chapter 18

Ethan

AFTER GORGING MYSELF ON Jenna’s delicious dinner, we sat in front of the fireplace with a glass of wine. I studied the dancing flames, feeling like I was right where I was supposed to be at that moment.

“So, what’s this thing I’m attending with you?”

“It’s a surprise. I can’t tell you until you get there.” I didn’t want to freak her out by telling her it was the Annual Writers’ Award Dinner that I was being summoned to by my publishing company. Not only because she was trying to forget her past life in the publishing industry, but also because I’d then have to explain to her who I really was, and I wasn’t ready for that yet. I wanted to have one more night with her as the real me.

“Well, can you at least tell me what I need to wear and where it’s going to be?”

“Formal and in the city.”

“New York City?”

“What other city is there?” I joked.

“Okay, I can handle that.” She raised an eyebrow and smirked. She was so easygoing. Most women would have freaked with being given less than twenty-four hours to ready themselves for an event they knew nothing about, but Jenna handled it all in stride.

I leaned over, unable to resist the urge to kiss her. She kissed me back just as eagerly. After tonight, the jig would be up, and Jenna would know me the same way everyone else did, and I could only hope she’d be okay with it. But I wouldn’t allow any of those thoughts to cloud my head, just for tonight. I was going to make love to her one last time as Ethan Banks.

***

“Ethan, this room is gorgeous!” Jenna exclaimed as she plopped down on the oversized bed of the Junior Suite of the Plaza Hotel.

“I’m glad you approve.” I grinned as I put down my bag and hung up my suit.

“Come sit down.” She tapped on the mattress. “We still have a few hours before we have to get ready. You must be tired after that long drive, and considering we didn’t get much sleep last night.” She pressed her forehead into mine. “Let’s take a nap.”

I was exhausted, but I was too nervous about tonight and having to bare my soul to Jenna. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away once she found out what my life really entailed.

She bent down and removed my shoes and crawled back on the bed. “Lie down with me,” she requested.

I lay down next to her and as her hand slid up my shirt, she gently traced her fingertips across my bare back. It was only a matter of minutes before I gave into my sleepiness.

“Hey, you.”

I awoke to find Jenna sitting on the side of the bed with her long, dark, wavy hair pulled back on the top, showing off her beautiful face that had just a hint more makeup than she normally wore.

“What time is it?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

“Five thirty. You said we need to leave here by six thirty, so I figured that would give you an hour to get ready. The bathroom is all yours. I just need to get dressed.” She stood up and instantly awoke something else in me at the sight of her with just a towel wrapped around her.

I got up and walked behind her while she stood in front of the mirror brushing makeup on to her face. “I think you better get dressed if we want to get out of here on time.”

She let out a loud laugh and turned around. “The cold water works good in that shower,” she teased, tapping my nose with her makeup brush and walking over to the closet. “So, are you planning on telling me what this is for before we go, or are you gonna spring it on me when we get there?”

“I’ll have to think about that while I’m taking a shower.”

“And you say I can’t make a decision!” she shouted as I walked into the bathroom.

I was no closer in deciding how I was going to tell her by the time I was done showering than I was when I first got in. I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist, freezing in place when I walked out of the bathroom and gazed at Jenna, standing in front of the full-length mirror in a red off-the-shoulder dress that looked like it was made just for her. She’d catapulted from the beautiful girl I always knew she was to the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on.

“Is this okay?” She faced me, and I wondered how she could possibly have any doubt over the reflection that had just been staring back at her in the mirror.

“You look…beautiful,” I replied inching closer to her, inhaling the woodsy scent of her perfume, intensifying my want for her even more. I swallowed hard, knowing it was now or never. She’d come all this way to go to this dinner with me. I at least owed her the truth. “Sit down for a minute.”

She followed me to the bed and took a seat next to me.

“Jenna, umm...the reason I never told you what I did for a living was because I was trying to escape from it.”

She bit her bottom lip and listened intently.

“I’m a writer, and I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear, given your former career.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry. I should have told you before, but I didn’t think things would get this—”

She placed her finger over my lips to stop me from talking. “Your first novel was Burn. It immediately shot to the New York Times bestseller list and you’ve sold over twenty million copies within the first two years of publication. You hate being compared to other writers in your genre and do your best writing while listening to Tchaikovsky.”

My eyes narrowed. “You knew? Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because the guy I came to know and care for is Ethan Banks, not Jonathan Reed. The rest of the world can have the famous writer. I’m happy with just you.”

I wasn’t sure if I was glad that she’d allow me to be myself or upset because she never told me she knew. I was silent, trying to gather my thoughts.

“I just found out a few days ago when my friend Amelia saw you. Some editor I am. I didn’t even recognize one of the most famous writers of our time. I didn’t say anything to you because I figured if you wanted to tell me you would. I meant it when I told you I’m not going to push for anything from you. Please don’t be angry with me.”

How did she know how to see right through me and read my thoughts?

“I’m not angry,” I replied.

“So, this event tonight. It’s work-related, I take it?”

“It’s the Writers’ Award Dinner.”

Her eyes widened. “Wow!” she whispered. Her face paled, and I hated that I’d put her in the spot she was in right now.

“Jenna, please don’t be nervous.”

“I-I-I’m not…I mean, I am. Kinda. This is like the Academy Awards of the book world. I remember the big wigs at my old publishing company pulling out all the stunts to try and get an invite to this event, only to be snubbed in the end. What would they say if they knew little old Jenna Delaney was attending as Jonathan Reed’s date?” She stood up and paced back and forth.

I couldn’t help but chuckle over her uncertainty.

“Holy shit, Ethan. I’m going as Jonathan Reed’s date. Not Ethan Banks…Jonathan Reed. What if my dress isn’t—”

I stood up and rushed over to her, placing my lips on hers to stop her from fretting. I tilted her chin with my hand and stared into her doubtful eyes. “Jenna, I’ll always be Ethan to you, okay? I don’t ever want to change that. That’s who I really am, and that’s who I always want to be to you.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“And as far as that dress goes, the only thing you have to worry about is me being able to keep my hands off you all night because you look beyond gorgeous.”

She smiled, and her warm, soft hands covered my cheeks. “Well, thank you, but something tells me once you get dressed, I’m gonna be the one who has a hard time keeping my hands off you.”

“You know there’s an easy solution for that.” I grinned.

“Will you go and get dressed before I lose my nerve!” She giggled.

I dressed, and Jenna stepped back to look me over after she adjusted my tie. She moved closer and moved a piece of my hair.

“Perfect.” She smiled.

My stomach churned with the mere thought of facing the same people I’d been trying so hard to avoid for the past year, but with Jenna by my side, that thought was a little more bearable.