Chapter 29

Jenna

“JEN, I CANNOT BELIEVE you’ve been holding out on me about this!” Amelia dabbed her upper lip with her napkin after taking a bite of her sandwich.

“I’m sorry, but things got so busy, and it kind of all happened so quickly.” I smiled up at the waitress as she refilled our water.

“So, you’ve slept with him on numerous occasions, attended the Writers’ Award Dinner with him, spent Thanksgiving with him at his place, and it didn’t occur to you once to send your BFF in the whole wide world a text message to let her know even one of these things?”

“I know, I suck.”

“Yeah, you kind of do.” She smirked. “But I’ll forgive you if you spill your guts with the details.”

“I-I...umm like him a lot.”

“Jenna, I want to know how he is in bed!”

I choked on the sip of water I’d just taken. “Amelia!”

“Come on, Jenna. These pregnancy hormones are killing me! Seriously, Dan can’t keep up with me. It’s like I want to have sex twenty-four seven.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re scaring me!” I laughed.

“It’s like a complete role reversal. Now Dan’s actually faking a headache. Just wait, you’ll see when it happens to you!”

I held my hand up. “Oh, hell no, don’t be wishing any of those pregnancy vibes on me.”

“You never know. You may become the mother of a future brilliant writer.”

I took a forkful of salad and shook my head. Not that the idea of having kids was out of the question for me, but the idea of having them with Ethan was. After all the pain he’d gone through with his son, I was fairly certain he’d never want another child again. “I think you’re getting way ahead of yourself, Amelia.”

She shrugged her shoulders, watching me intently as I smiled at my phone over the text Ethan had just sent. “Speaking of the devil. Would that text that just put a huge grin on your face be from none other?”

“Guilty.” I looked up at her and bit back my smile. “He wants me to give him input on the story he’s working on...me, can you believe that? I feel like I’m dreaming or something.”

“Oh my God, girl! How did you get so lucky? Can I just say I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time? I think he’s going to be good for you.”

I looked out the window and sighed.

“What’s the sigh for?” Amelia asked with a hint of panic to her voice.

“It’s just...he’s a great guy, he really is, but he’s suffered a lot of loss in his life over this past year.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That would explain why he dropped off the radar.”

I nodded. “He lost his wife and his son.”

“Oh, wow!” Amelia shook her head, and I was hoping she wouldn’t ask for any more details because I wasn’t willing to give them to her. I would never betray Ethan’s trust like that.

“We have such a great time together, but then sometimes something will send him into his own little world, and he turns into this person I don’t even know. I wish he could heal emotionally.”

“Well, Jen, everyone handles grief differently. I can’t imagine losing a child. It’s got to be one of the hardest things to get through. Give it time.”

“Yeah, I know. I plan on it.”

She reached over the table and grabbed my hands. “I’m happy you didn’t make the biggest mistake of your life by marrying a guy who was so wrong for you.”

I nodded in agreement. Three weeks from now, I would’ve been walking down the aisle to a man I didn’t want to marry if I hadn’t come to my senses. A small part of me wondered if I’d still be if Ethan hadn’t come into my life. “So, enough about me. How did your last doctor’s visit go? And when are you going to be able to find out the sex?”

The rest of our lunch was filled with baby talk. It was nice to catch up with Amelia. I hated that there was so much distance between us now, making it harder for us to get together, but today we decided to meet at a restaurant that was halfway between us and made it happen. We said our goodbyes and promised when life started to get in the way and we couldn’t get together as often as we wanted, this would be our spot that we’d make a point of meeting at least once a month.

I arrived home and rushed through the front door, happy to see the guys were just finishing up for the day, leaving me alone in peace and quiet with Ethan’s story. I made myself a cup of tea and sat down to my laptop, becoming disheartened when the only thing in my inbox was junk mail. “What now?” I whispered, trying to think of something to do to keep from refreshing my email every two minutes.

I bundled up and headed down to the ocean, hoping that once I returned from my walk, I’d have something from Ethan waiting for me in my inbox. I walked on to the deserted beach and took a seat in the sand as the harsh wind blew off the water, hitting me in the face. I pulled my hood over my head and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the waves crashing into the shoreline.

“You may become the mother of a future brilliant writer.”

Amelia’s words were bittersweet. There was no doubt I was falling deeper for Ethan each time we were together. As crazy as it sounded in my head, I was hoping that maybe there was some type of future for us, that may have included a child. But that was my own made-up fantasy—Ethan didn’t believe in happy endings anymore. I shook my head, chasing away that ridiculous thought. We hadn’t even known each other for that long and here I was picking out china patterns and baby names. “That’s a good way to chase him away, Jenna,” I whispered to myself. It was as if Ethan could hear my thoughts when I pulled my ringing phone from my pocket and saw it was him.

“Well, hello there,” I answered.

“Hey, Jenna.”

I stood up, sensing right away that something was wrong just by his tone.

“Is everything okay?” I asked as I headed off the beach and back home.

“I just...I just needed to hear your voice.”

My heart swelled, not only over his words, but the pain in his voice.

“Ethan, what’s wrong?”

“My sister called to tell me my father is asking to talk to me. They’re not expecting him to make it through the night.”

“Oh, Ethan, I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I knew his relationship with his father wasn’t the best, but it seemed like it was hitting him hard.

“I’m not. God, Jenna, what the hell is wrong with me? I thought when the time actually came, I’d have a little empathy for him, but I feel nothing.”

“And that’s totally understandable after everything you went through as a child, and I’m not saying you should go talk to him if you don’t want, but maybe it would make you feel a little bit better about how you’re feeling if you did.”

“How?” His voice cracked with emotion.

“Let him know how he made you feel when you were a little boy. Get it off your chest and maybe you can move on from that part of your life. Don’t think of it as a way of helping him clear his conscience, but instead use it as a means to alleviate some of the pain and anger you’ve been harboring most of your life. Does that make sense?”

He was silent, and I started to second-guess my advice. “It does,” he whispered.

“Are you gonna go see him?”

“Yeah, I think I might.” His voice faltered.

I smiled. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks, Jenna.”

“Anytime.”

We hung up the phone, and I was hoping my advice was right. Maybe if he could chip away at the things that were weighing him down from his past, he could start focusing on the future. I arrived home and checked my email just for the heck of it, and as suspected there was nothing. I didn’t mind waiting a few more days to read his story if it meant he could gain a little peace in his life by giving him the closure he so much deserved with his father.