Chapter 6

Ethan

I SAT ON THE FRONT PORCH of the inn, doing my best to pretend I was paying attention to what Edward, my agent, had been saying for the past twenty minutes.

“Ethan, I understand you wanting to get away, especially with the movie coming out this weekend. By the way, have you read any of the early reviews?”

“No, I haven’t.” Why would I care what the fuck anyone had to say about the movie version of my book? Anyone with a brain knew it was a dumbed-down rendition, altered to fit the pretentious movie stars who were cast in it. They ripped apart the words, the meaning, everything that mattered just to get bodies in the theater and score big at the box office. It was something I said I’d never do, but I’d let Edward talk me into it, and I’d sold my soul to the devil because of it.

“Well, here’s one of the early reviews.”

“I really don’t care to—”

“‘Leave it to Hollywood to screw up one the most masterfully written books of this century. I will stick to reading Jonathan Reed’s incredible works instead of watching it get slaughtered on the big screen by movie producers and actors whose talent pales in comparison to the brilliant Mr. Reed.’ Your fans adore you, Ethan, and they’ll still be there when you get back in the game. Use this time to try and break through your block. Bring your laptop on the beach, take in the sites, people watch…maybe the urge will come back once again.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I mumbled just to appease him, knowing full well there wouldn’t be any writing going on while I was here or ever for that matter.

“I have a meeting set up with your publisher next week. They want—”

“Cancel it.”

“Ethan, at least hear what they have to say. They may have an offer you can’t refuse…” He continued rambling while my mind fixated on the brunette from the beach as she sat on the front porch next door crying. I tried my best to pretend I didn’t see her and focus on what Edward was saying on the other end of the phone, but it was useless. This girl, this stranger, held some kind of power over me that was impossible to ignore. She stared down at her finger then threw her head back on the chair, letting out a deep sigh. I looked away when she stood up and headed back inside. What was her deal and why was she next door now? And more importantly, why the hell did I even care?

“Edward, I have to go.” I finally put an end to his incessant chatter.

“Okay, but please think about what I said, Ethan. Your readers need you.”

“Will do.” I hung up before he could get another word in. My readers need me. He was so full of shit. More like he needed me to maintain his lavish lifestyle that my blood, sweat, and tears afforded him. Edward was a good agent, and I did trust him, but in the end, his own well-being was his first priority. I couldn’t fault him for it. This was business after all.

The lampposts flickered, the air turned brisker, and an eerie silence fell upon the desolate street. Dusk was setting in. It was hard to believe that just two short months ago, at the height of the summer season, the sun would still be shining and this place would’ve been booming with tourists, mirroring real life in so many ways. Nothing lasted forever. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying to figure out how I was going to break free from this state I was in. I could go see Dr. Tanner when I got home, but what good would it do? I’d listened to her talk for the past twelve months to no avail. I was still stuck in a world I didn’t want to be in. The only things that made me feel slightly better were the drugs she’d prescribe, but even they were just a temporary fix. A Band-Aid to block out reality, but once the Band-Aid was ripped off, the wound underneath still hurt like hell.

My concentration broke when the front door of the house next door slammed, and I saw the brunette exit. I stared straight ahead, wondering if she’d be foolish enough to try and make small talk once again after our encounter on the beach earlier in the day. She climbed up the stairs to the porch and whisked right past me as if I were a ghost. Not that I’d expected anything more after the way I’d snapped at her. It was just as well. At least I got the point across that I didn’t want to be bothered with the likeness of her. It had been a long day, and I was drained. Being alone with my thoughts was more rigorous than any physical workout. I waited a few more moments before heading inside, wanting to give the brunette enough time to get up to her room and not run the risk of conversation with her.

My plan had failed when I walked inside and she was sitting in the parlor with the inn keepers. They were deep in conversation, but that still didn’t stop them from lifting their heads as I entered.

“Have a good night, Mr. Banks.” The woman inn keeper smiled.

I nodded, becoming angry when my eyes betrayed me and locked with the brunette’s. She averted her gaze and looked down at her phone and whatever it was that seemed to be the hot topic of conversation among them.

“Yes, I agree. That’s a ridiculous price for the work he’s doing. I’ll get you the name of the guy we use,” the male inn keeper remarked as I made my way up the steps.

“Thanks…” The brunette’s voice faded away the farther up the stairs I went. But not before the sound of it was embedded deep inside my mind.

Sleep had found me within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, and then the dreams began.

Nolan at the playground with his deep belly laughs as I pushed him on the baby swing. Darrah lying beside me after we’d just made love, both thoroughly spent, but each of us completely satisfied. Nolan crying in the distance as I swam out to reach him. His cries growing louder as I battled with the merciless sea, needing to get to him, but the harder I fought the more it pushed me away. My body was sore, but I wasn’t giving up as this unforgiving force of nature pummeled and pounded and Nolan’s screams became ear-piercing. “I’m right here, don’t cry, Nolan. I’m going to get you.”

I shot up in bed, drenched in sweat, opening my eyes to the darkness of my room. These dreams that plagued my sleep were becoming more and more real each time I closed my eyes. Once I was finally able to breathe at a normal pace I got out of bed, pacing back and forth like a caged tiger, trying to plot his escape. I rummaged through my bag, frantically searching for my pills. Sticking my hand in the concealed pocket, I pulled out the bag of weed I’d tucked away instead. This would do the trick for the moment. I grabbed my papers and rolled a joint, then threw on some clothes and headed out the door. The temperature had dropped immensely, and dampness had set in. I picked up my pace to get my blood flowing and warm up a bit. When I reached the dark, desolate beach and took a seat in the sand, an unnerving calmness came over me. Here I was, all alone in the middle of the night, staring out at the beast who’d haunted my sleep. The wind was on my side for just a few moments as I lit up and took a hit, inhaling deeply and slowly. Just like in my dream the waves were pummeling the shoreline, but I could no longer hear his cries. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do to save him anymore. The clouds passed over the moon, shedding some light into the darkness, and then she appeared. Was I dreaming? Was this pot laced with something that made me hallucinate? No, it wasn’t Darrah walking along the ocean’s edge. I wouldn’t allow my mind to keep betraying me like this. I looked down at the teddy bear she was grasping in her hand as she lifted her arm to cast it into the sea. No, she couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t allow her to do that to Nolan’s most cherished possession. I put out the joint and placed it in my pocket, then sprinted through the sand, reaching her in seconds. Grabbing her from behind, I took the bear from her hand, but when I stared at the stuffed animal, it wasn’t Nolan’s, and when I looked at the girl, it wasn’t Darrah.