Chapter 33

Jenna

“THANK YOU SO MUCH for being here with me today, Jenna. I owe you big-time.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m here because I want to be.”

“I really don’t want to do this.” Ethan gripped my hand as we walked into one of the rooms off the foyer of the funeral home. A large portrait of a man sat on an easel in the front, presumably Ethan’s father. As we inched closer to it, I noticed the strong resemblance he bore to Ethan. Ethan’s hand remained locked with mine as we made our way through the crowd, finally reaching his sister and her husband. Standing beside them were a teenage boy and girl who I assumed were Ethan’s niece and nephew.

“Uncle Ethan!” the girl shouted, rushing over to give him a hug and kiss.

“How are you, Kelsey?”

“I’m good!” She smiled, her green eyes beaming and her smile widening when she looked my way.

“Jenna, this is my niece, Kelsey.”

“Hey, it’s so nice to meet you!” she greeted, making me feel instantly at ease.

“You too.” I smiled back.

“Ethan, you came!” His sister’s voice cracked with emotion. She hugged him tight and kissed him on his cheek.

“Jenna.” She focused her attention on me as Ethan started up a conversation with his nephew. “I’m pretty sure you’re the reason he’s here, so thank you.”

“Actually, I’m not. He called to ask if I’d come with him for support...so here I am.”

“Well, thank you for that. He seems so different when he’s with you. He’s happy and…hopeful. I’m glad you’re here with him. I know it’s not my business, but are you planning on spending the night?”

“Umm...yeah, I think so.”

“Good. Tomorrow is going to be really rough on him.”

“Why’s that?” I shook my head in confusion.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“It’s Nolan’s third birthday.”

I looked over at Ethan and my heart sank.

“Oh, wow. I’m glad I’m here too. He shouldn’t be alone.”

She nodded in agreement.

“Jenna! How are you doing? Ethan’s been keeping you all to himself.” Helene’s husband rushed over to me and gripped me in a bear hug.

“Tom! Let the poor girl breathe!” Helene scolded while I shook my head and laughed it off.

Ethan had introduced me to a few dozen people, none of whom I’d remember if I were ever quizzed on it. We took our seats and the man I believed Ethan had introduced me to as his uncle walked up to the podium to give the eulogy. Ethan’s head remained down the entire time he spoke, bouncing his leg up and down and giving my hand an extra squeeze every time he’d mention what a dedicated, loving father his dad was. His sister looked over quite a few times to make sure he was okay, and I reassured her with a nod of my head. I breathed a sigh of relief once it was over, thankful that Ethan had made it through without getting up and walking out.

“Ethan,” Helene called, waving her hand to come up to where she was standing.

He let out a frustrated breath.

“Go. You’re here for her today,” I reminded him.

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before getting up and going to his sister. I sat in silence and people-watched. So many had turned out for this man who’d treated his son so horribly, all seemingly unaware of what went on behind closed doors.

“That right there is Aunt Vivian.” I jumped when Ethan’s brother-in-law, Tom, took a seat behind me and leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “She’s been married six times.”

“Wait—what? That’s just crazy,” I whispered back.

“They are definitely a crazy family. I’ve known them for a very long time. Longer than I care to remember. Helene and I started dating in high school. Ethan was only nine years old at the time. That poor kid, what he endured, no child should ever have to go through. I don’t know how he held it together during that eulogy. David Banks was a son of a bitch. My wife likes to be the forgiving type, but I don’t blame Ethan one bit for not making his peace with that man. And if you ask me, their mother was even more fucked up for allowing him to do that to her son.”

I closed my eyes, trying to chase away the visions I had in my mind of Ethan as a helpless little boy.

“He lived with us for a while when we first got married. I’m a cop, and I couldn’t allow him to stay there knowing what went on in that house. Their mother was consumed with money and looking good at the country club. She didn’t care about the price that came along with it. I never cared to be in their company, and I sure as heck didn’t want my kids around them either.”

“Did he ever abuse Helene?”

“She claims he never did, and he just had it out for Ethan for some reason. I can’t say that the world isn’t a little better off without him in it, but poor Ethan is the one who’s left to live with the scars that man has left on him…and then losing his son. God, I can’t even imagine.”

Tears pooled in my eyes as I looked at Ethan, standing by his sister’s side, seeming invincible. He was so big and strong, but there was still a part of that scared little boy lingering inside him. I flashed him a caring smile when he glanced my way, and then looked away. I didn’t want to chance him seeing the sadness in my eyes.

“You’re a good person, Jenna. I could sense that the moment I met you, and Ethan’s a great guy, but I hope you realize the pain and the baggage he carries around with him each day. It could be too much for some people to handle.”

I turned around to face him. “Not for me. I will do everything I can to take that pain away from him.”

Tom nodded and placed his hand on my shoulder in support. Ethan was a puzzle to be put together, that was for sure. From the first day I’d met him, I knew he was in pain, yet I chose to pursue a friendship with him. Now that I’d gotten to know him even better and some of those pieces of the puzzle had been put into place, I could never dream of walking away. I was in this for the long haul or however long Ethan would allow me to be.

It had been a long day, and I was happy to be back at Ethan’s where it was just him and me.

“Is that all woods behind your property?” I asked as I stared out the kitchen window.

“Yeah, it’s about three acres that lead into a state park.”

“Let’s go for a walk. It’s a beautiful afternoon, and the fresh air will do us some good.”

“Okay.” He agreed but didn’t sound too convinced.

We stepped outside and strolled hand in hand into the woods.

“This is so beautiful,” I said after walking for some time, taking in the massive pine trees surrounding us. “Is that water running?”

“Yeah, there’s a creek just down that hill. Come on, I’ll show you.”

He led me down the steep embankment until we reached the edge of the creek and took a seat on the cool, damp ground. The late afternoon sun reflected off the crystal-clear, trickling water, and the leaves rustled in the wind. I closed my eyes and inhaled the crisp, clean air, feeling so relaxed and content in the moment.

“This is absolutely beautiful.” I took his hand and lifted it to my lips. “You should set up a writing area here…speaking of which, I finished your chapters, and I’m not surprised to say, I was thoroughly impressed.” I still hadn’t talked to Amelia, but there was still some familiarity with his story that I couldn’t chase away.

“Thanks,” he muttered, clearly a million miles away.

“I think everything went well today. You?” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess.”

We sat in silence for some time.

“So, what’s bothering you?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just enjoying the peace and quiet.”

I bit my bottom lip, unsure if I wanted to bring the subject up that had been on my mind since his sister had mentioned it at the service. It only took a few more seconds before I ended my internal debate. “So, your sister told me tomorrow is Nolan’s birthday.”

He jerked his body, causing me to lift my head from his shoulder. Staring straight ahead, he muttered, “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Why? He’s your son, and he always will be. Celebrate his life instead of running from his death. He’s a part of you, and that part still lives inside your heart. The love you have for him will never die. Whatever problems you had with your marriage had nothing to do with your son, so stop confusing the two. Your little boy is turning three tomorrow. Honor that.”

“How can I do that when he’s not here to spend it with?” He finally focused his attention on me. “How do I just go on and pretend he’s three years old, when I know he’s not? He’s gone, Jenna, and he’s never coming back. He’ll never have another birthday because it was taken from him by that selfish bitch.”

I shook my head. “She took him from you in the physical sense. Don’t let her take him away from you in the emotional sense too.” I was probably overstepping my boundaries big-time and risking the chance of that other side of him coming out, but he needed to face this to start healing.

He sighed heavily, and I waited anxiously for his wrath to unleash on me, but instead he dug a rock from the dirt and threw it in the water. “We should go. It’s gonna be getting dark soon,” he finally spoke as he stood up and reached for my hand.

I came to my feet and wiped the leaves from my backside with my free hand. I flashed him a caring smile and when he smiled back, I knew my words had resonated with him in some small way.