Dylan, Austin and I were in California for spring break. We were staying with Alex and Aubrey at their place. Saying things were awkward between Dylan and Aubrey would be an understatement. We were at a fraternity party for Alex’s boyfriend, Cole. She still hadn’t told us they were together, but I caught them kissing and holding hands a few times. They assumed no one was looking. It was strange to see Half-Pint so grown up. It was just fucking weird that she was with Cole in the first place, but he seemed to make her happy. That’s all that mattered to me.
“You’re such an asshole,” I stated to Dylan, who grinned.
“Why, whatever do you mean?” he asked with a smartass tone, pulling away from the random pussy.
“How many girls do you plan on fucking while we’re here? You trying to make your way through the sorority house or just continue to piss off Aubrey?”
He laughed. “This has nothing to do with her.”
“It has everything to do with her. She’s staring at you right now, the hurt look on her face pains me, Dylan, and I have nothing to do with it.”
He rolled his eyes. “She should have thought about that before she left me.”
“Why don’t you try talking to her? Maybe hear her out?”
“That would imply that I actually gave a fuck about her.”
He pulled another girl toward him, and I watched Aubrey frown and then bow her head. I shook my head, needing to get away from them. I had my own problems and they came in the form of a tiny sixteen-year-old girl, who happened to text me at the exact same time I sat at the bar with a beer.
Lily: I miss you. :-)
I chuckled, my mood lightening.
Lily: You know you miss me. I’m a very miss-able kinda girl.
Jacob: Yes, sweet girl, you are.
Lily: What are you guys up to tonight?
Jacob: At Cole’s fraternity party.
Lily: Why are you hanging out with the villain?
Jacob: I highly doubt your brother is Prince Charming.
Lily: No shit. He’s an idiot.
Jacob: Watch your mouth.
Lily: They’re lobsters. You can’t come between that.
Jacob: What the fuck does that mean?
I could picture her smiling and biting her lip.
Lily: Lobsters mate for life.
Jacob: You sure about that?
Lily: Yes, proven fact. It’s on the Internet too, so it must be true.
I grinned.
Jacob: Stop being so delicious.
Lily: When are you coming home?
Jacob: I don’t know.
Lily: Can I come see you?
Jacob: Lily…
Lily: It will be our little secret. We can stay in a hotel. I promise not to hog the entire bed.
Jacob: What about your parents and Lucas?
Lily: What about them?
I sighed.
Jacob: Let me think about it.
Lily: Okay, make sure you think about me in the morning. For your friend. ;-)
I laughed so hard my head fell back.
Jacob: Good night.
Lily: Night.
I spent most of the night at the makeshift bar, people watching and thinking about Lily. I wanted to take her up on her offer and have her come see me. It would mean getting to spend some alone time with her without having to look over my shoulder every other second.
I missed her.
I missed her like crazy.
I missed her more than I cared to admit or acknowledge.
A weekend in a hotel together would definitely test my willpower to resist her, but I wanted to just have her around me so badly. At that point, it seemed like a great idea to have her be with me in any way she could. There was no right or wrong response when it came to her, just endless questions that I couldn’t answer or maybe it was that I just didn’t want to. I watched Alex leave the house with Austin, but when she returned, she looked really upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I approached her with Dylan not far behind me.
“It’s Austin. He’s… he’s… God. He’s really messed up.”
“Half-Pint—”
“No, Dylan, he told me.”
“What did he say?” Dylan questioned her.
“He’s on ecstasy.”
“Shit,” I breathed out. “Where is he?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m really worried about him. He could—”
“It’s fine,” Dylan interrupted. “We’ll go find him. Stay here till we get back.”
She nodded with a sad smile. It didn’t take us long to find Austin, he was a few streets down at an empty park.
“What the fuck, man?” Dylan roared as we walked up to him.
He was laying on a slide with his arms tucked under his head, looking up at the sky. I wondered what he thought about.
“Nice of you to join me, but if you came here to lecture me, I suggest you turn the fuck around. I’m not going to take any shit from either of you,” he calmly stated, causing me to jerk back from the impact of his words.
“Jesus Christ, Austin,” I rebutted. “What are you doing? This isn’t you.”
He scoffed, standing up right in front of us. “Who am I? Huh? You tell me, boys, because I have no fucking idea. I have spent the last twenty-one years of my life marching in line with all of you. I’m done. Do you hear me? Fucking done.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re not making any goddamn sense,” Dylan countered, folding his arms over his chest. “Fuck, man, we know you went through some shit with the car accident but—”
“You don’t know a goddamn thing. Your head’s been so far up Aubrey’s and every other girls’ pussy, you can barely see straight.”
Dylan immediately stepped toward him ready to kick his fucking ass. I placed my arm across his chest. “Relax,” I ordered in a rough tone, looking back at Austin. “This the way you want to play it? We’re your friends not your enemies asshole. You need to remember that while you’re on this path of self-destruction that you so intently feel like continuing. What’s next? Cocaine? Huh? What’s it going to take for you to get your fucking shit together, Austin? Rehab? Fucking overdosing? Do you have a fucking death wish, bro? Please tell us so we know what to expect from your path of God knows what.”
He snidely smiled with a look on his face I had never seen before.
“That’s… fucking… rich… coming from you, Oh, Mighty Jacob.” He shook his head with a devious stare directed only at me. I could see Dylan from the corner of my eye. He just seemed as baffled as I was.
“You want to judge me and point fingers? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…” Austin mocked in a tone I didn’t appreciate.
“Stop speaking in code and just fucking spit it out already,” I demanded.
“You want to talk about how I am living my life? Tell me that I’m fucking up? Well, shit, Jacob, why don’t you look in the goddamn mirror?”
I jerked back like he had punched me in the fucking face.
“I saw you. I saw it all. I was there that night,” Austin vaguely implied.
“What night?” I impatiently asked.
“The Cove.”
My eyes widened and my stomach dropped, all the color from my face draining.
“What’s the matter, Jacob? Cat got your tongue?” Austin taunted.
Dylan looked back and forth between us. “What the fuck is he talking about?”
“Should I tell him?” Austin nodded, and I couldn’t find the words to speak. The night replaying over in my mind as he stood in front of me waiting.
“Oh, come on, Jacob, we’re all friends here, right? Isn’t that what you just said to me. What are secrets between friends?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I finally gritted out, my jaw clenching to the point of pain.
“I don’t? Well, then why don’t I refresh your memory and let Dylan decide if I’m right or wrong. You see… Dylan,” he ridiculed still only looking at me.
“Jacob here isn’t who he thinks he is. Holding himself up on a goddamn pedestal when he should be buried in the ground for what he wants to do. I was in town a few weeks ago, hanging out at The Cove downtown. I saw someone that looked like Lucas’s baby sister and to my surprise it was actually her.”
Dylan shut his eyes like he knew what the next words out of his mouth were going to be.
“So, of course, I made my way toward her. She was dry humping some cocksucker on the dance floor. I would have never thought the girl I saw as a little sister my whole life could move like that. It made me sick to watch it, what did it do to you, Jacob?”
I swallowed the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, my fists clenching at my sides.
“Then out of nowhere I see this guy haul ass through the crowd. I’m getting ready to throw down if some other motherfucker even lays a finger on her. Except, I’m nearly knocked on my ass when I see Jacob appear like her knight in shining armor. Isn’t that right? After you proceeded to kick the guy’s ass, I’m about to walk over and pat you on the fucking back for a job well done, but Lily shoves you and takes off like a bat out of hell. Jacob here not far behind her.”
I tried to remain calm, but each word that came out of his mouth made me more aware of how fucked up the situation between she and I was.
“So I followed you, both of you. Would you like to tell Dylan what I saw? Or should I do the honor?”
I shut my eyes, the shame immediately filling my body.
“I watched you pretty much attack her in a parking lot on the side of a goddamn SUV. Tell me, bro, do little girls get you hard?”
“Enough,” Dylan interjected, taking the words right out of my mouth. I didn’t know if it was for my benefit or his, but I assumed it was both.
“Yeah... try watching it. Maybe Jacob can give you a private show like he gave me?”
“Austin,” I warned on my last thread.
“Or do you only get hard when you think no one is watching?”
My body tensed and I could feel the vein on my neck pulsating with the rhythm of my heart.
“It’s all good, Jacob, as long as there’s grass on the field I say play ball.”
I cold cocked him straight in the jaw. His face swayed back from the impact of my fist, but his body didn’t move as if he expected it. Bracing himself for it, I never thought it would come to this. Especially with Austin being the one on the receiving end.
“You can say whatever the fuck you want about me, but you talk about Lily like that again and I will lay you the fuck out, Austin. I don’t give a fuck who you are.” I shook out my hand, the pain traveling up my arm.
Austin leaned over and spit out blood on the grass. “Truth hurts don’t it, motherfucker?”
I stepped toward him and Dylan held me back stepping in between us. “Get out of here, Austin,” he ordered.
Austin looked up surprised. “The Good Ol’ Boys, huh? Yeah… you don’t have to tell me twice.”
He backed away still facing us, like he was trying to remember our faces or something, then turned and left. I could feel Dylan’s glare burning a hole in the side of my face.
“Don’t,” I gritted out.
He backed away too. “There’s nothing left to say.” With that, he left taking his disappointment with him.
I stood there for I don’t know how long, my mind one big clusterfuck. Waiting. For what?
Who. The. Hell. Knows…
When my phone pinged with a text message, I reluctantly reached into my pocket and swiped over the screen.
Lily: You’re my lobster.
I shook my head and replied,
I know.