“Okay, hold on,” I said to Alex on the phone, calling her on Skype from my laptop.
“Hello, it’s you!”
“Hello, it’s me!” I replied our standard greeting, hitting end on my cell.
“So, what is so important that we had to Skype,” I asked, already knowing even though she hadn’t told me yet.
I just knew.
Call it intuition.
They found out they made a little person on my birthday weekend. I like to say that I am the reason that child is in there. My awesome energy and vibes, but Jacob likes to remind me that it was actually Lucas’s boys that got one passed the goalie.
She was glowing with her baby bump proudly showing, wearing a shirt that said, “If you didn’t put it in there, then don’t touch it.” That right there was definitely my brother’s handiwork.
“So we’re having a…”
Lucas then showed a shirt on the screen that said, “I’m my dad’s son in here so don’t fuck with the belly.”
I busted out laughing. “Oh my God! You’re having a boy! Where does he keep finding these shirts?”
“He swears he’s buying them, but I think he’s having them made,” Alex replied, Lucas looking at her lovingly with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“How far along are you now?”
“Eighteen weeks today.”
“Wow! They fit you in fast then.”
Her face frowned as she scratched the back of her head. “Yeah… well… they weren’t going to see me till next week, but your brother called them back. Let’s just say he’s lucky they let him in the doctor’s office at all.”
I shook my head, typical behavior from my brother.
“Alright, baby sister, I have to go out for an estimate. We will talk soon. Love you.”
“Love you!”
Lucas kissed the top of her head. “I love you.” Leaned over and kissed Alex’s stomach. “And I love you. Be good for your mom.”
She beamed. “He’s like the size of a potato, Bo.”
“So are you.”
We laughed.
“I’m so screwed.”
“Yeah, have fun with that.”
“Lily, he’s already planning my entire day. What I should be eating, how much I should be exercising, telling me I can’t carry anything heavy. He knows more than I do. He called the restaurant this morning telling them I won’t be coming in as often. It’s like I can’t leave the house or something.”
Alex owned her parents restaurant now. Her parents retired a few years back and pretty much handed it to her on a silver platter. She loved it, though, and I couldn’t imagine her doing anything else.
“Yeah… like I said. Have fun with that.”
“I may kill him before this pregnancy is over.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet to be honest.”
“Congratulations, Half-Pint,” Jacob announced, leaning into the screen.
I slapped his chest. “You weren’t supposed to say anything.”
“She knows.”
“You do?” I looked back at the screen.
“I do.”
“Why haven’t you said anything!?”
“Why haven’t you?”
“Yeah, Kid, why haven’t you?”
“Alright, so I recognize that tone. I’m going to go… have fun.” Alex nodded toward Jacob. “With that.” The call ended.
Shit.
“Did you say you wanted a blowjob?” I grinned, reaching for his pants.
He grabbed my hands. “As much as I would love to fuck your face right now, it wouldn’t be for the right reasons.”
“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
“On so many levels. I should take you over my shoulder, Kid.”
“Jacob, I thought we agreed we weren’t going to tell anybody.”
“Alex isn’t anybody.”
“Well, next time you can hand me a list of people who count. That way I know.”
He arched an eyebrow, rubbing his fingers back and forth over his lips, his expression quickly fading.
“For someone who doesn’t like my game, you sure do provoke me enough to spank that little fucking ass of yours. Don’t you?”
I slid farther away from him, guarding my ass. He tried to hide his smile.
“I think you just like finding reasons to do it, you masochist.”
“That’s up for debate.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell her.”
“That’s not what you should be sorry for.”
“Jacob…”
He narrowed his eyes at me.
“I need to know. I need to know now. Please. What happened?”
I didn’t have to elaborate.
He knew exactly what I meant.
“I want all that with you, Lily. The house, the white picket fence, the baby. I want the whole fucking nine yards. A complete life.”
“I want that, too. More than anything. I’ve always wanted it. Except, I can’t move forward without knowing everything. I know why you brought that girl to our Christmas Eve party. I get what you were trying to do.”
“Do you?”
“I do now. I hated you for doing that. For flaunting another woman in front of me and thinking you needed to. It was the first time I hated you, Jacob. At least I thought I did. It wasn't until after you left me, that I felt true hatred towards you. I carried that hatred up until the moment I saw you at my bar. It was only then did I realize that I still loved you. That it never went away. I get it. I know you were hurting too. I’ve seen how you lived. I mean your pizza delivery boy addressed you by your first name, that can’t be normal,” she chuckled, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh.
The severity of what she wanted to know was too consuming.
“You were trying to be selfless by letting me go, allowing me to live my life or a life. I understand. That doesn’t explain what happened after, though. Why did you do that to me?”
I stood, I had to. The memory of everything flooding back into my mind and it was just as painful now as it was back then. I felt like I was reliving it all over again, except this time I knew the outcome. She came up behind me as I looked out her back porch, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I’m not going anywhere. I can promise you that. I just need to know the truth, but it’s not going to change anything between us. You know it, Jacob. You know in your heart I’m not going to be able to move forward the way you want me to without you telling me what happened.”
She kissed along my back, comforting me in a way that was unexpected. The memories of that day and the weeks that led up to it, like an old movie playing on a reel right in front of me. I couldn’t stop it, not for one fucking second. Which is why I had been running away from it for the last three years.
“I love you. I’ll always love you. No matter what, you’re my lobster,” she coaxed, assuming I needed to hear it.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I murmured, my voice seeming so far away.
“The beginning…”