I wanted to take her to a nice dinner for our last night together, but she was insistent that we stay in and order pizza. She showered first and when I walked back out into the room, she was wearing my t-shirt that looked more like a dress on her and my hat that I gave her.
I’d never seen her look so sexy.
She caught me staring at her. “Sorry, I didn’t pack enough clothes. I guess I was excited.”
“It looks better on you.”
She looked down at herself and then back at me with confusion. “I look like I’m wearing a potato sack.”
“Keep it.”
She grinned, nodding. “I rented us a movie.”
I sat down next to her, dragging her over to me by her waist and she squealed.
“What did you get, sweet girl?”
“9 ½ weeks.”
“What’s that?” I kissed the top of her head.
“I don’t know, but the guy looked hot.”
I laughed.
“Not hotter than you, of course.”
I turned off the lights and spooned her, pressing play. Once the movie started I realized it was an older film, I hadn’t seen Kim Basinger in anything in years, let alone Mickey Rourke. It didn’t take long to realize that it was an erotic film, and part of me wondered if Lily did it on purpose. The fascinated regard on her face as she watched Kim masturbate was a memory I’ll take to the grave. My arm slowly moved on its own accord, from her waist down to the side of her thigh. Her creamy, velvety skin brushing beneath my fingers, her eyes instantly went from the screen to my hand.
“Lillian,” I huskily groaned and she swallowed hard. “Tell me, Kid…”
She bit her lip, making my cock twitch and I knew she felt it against her ass. My fingers moved at a slow torturous speed for where I really yearned to touch her. My shirt had ridden up her hips to expose her lace pink panties and lower abdomen. She watched my fingers move with the same enthralled gaze that she did with the scene in the movie.
“Have you ever touched yourself?”
She hesitantly shook her head no, and I lost my shit. Her lips parted and her tongue peered out slowly licking her lips. I reached out to stroke the side of her cheek. Her face leaned into my fingers. Shifting my hand to the back of her head, I gently brought her over to me. My lips found hers instantly. It started with just a peck until I opened my mouth to her and she sought out my tongue. This kiss was so much different from our last. That kiss was urgent and demanding, this one was soft, like we were both exploring each other’s mouths for the first time. Our tongues twisted as we tasted each other. It felt so fucking amazing.
She felt amazing.
But like anything with Lily it turned into something else entirely. I urgently pulled the sides of her face, kissing her more aggressively than before. I knew that I needed to slow down, but damn I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her so damn bad. All the buildup, months of anticipation, longing, and desire that I had kept safely bottled up were at the surface. It was more than I could have ever imagined. I was ready to lose my load.
Her delicate fingers moved down my chest in a slow agonizing motion. I held my breath. Her hands traced my pecs and moved down to the contours of my abs. I had been touched there, several times, more times than I fucking cared to count. This was different. This was so expressive and emotional, so goddamn loving.
This was Lily.
Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. Her panting and moaning beneath me would be forever entrenched in my mind. Our legs entwined, rubbing together and moving all around the bed. I kissed her jaw line, her neck, and deliberately made my way back up to her lips. I no longer had any control over my movements as I gripped her waist, turning us both over to have her lay on top of me. Her breathing escalated when she realized what I had done, but that didn’t stop her from swaying her body against mine, dry humping the shit out of my fucking cock.
“Fuck… Lily,” I growled into her mouth. “We need to stop,” I half-ass requested.
“I don’t want to stop.”
“Jesus, last night you’re running from me when you see my cock and now you’re grinding your pussy against me like a goddamn pro. Which one is it, Lily? Because you can’t have it both ways.”
“I want you,” she breathed out in between kissing me. “I want it to be you.”
“Kid, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Stop saying that,” she urged in a desperate plea.
I continued to devour her mouth, soon my hands started to roam, attacking her body. She encouraged me by making all sorts of fucking sounds that didn’t help keep my hands away from places they shouldn’t be.
“Jacob…”
I would never forget the raspy way she said my name. It was full of emotion, mixed with pure lust. I cupped the side of her breast making her moan loudly, vibrating against my chest and down to my cock. That was all it took for me…
To buck her off.
“What the fuck?” I instinctively shouted as I watched him get off the bed.
He was in my face in two seconds flat. “Watch. Your. Mouth,” he threatened, accentuating each word.
I shook my head with a heated expression. “Are you for real? I just felt your dick all over me, Jacob, and now you’re worried about my swearing?”
He stepped back and away from me. “We can’t do this,” he stated like it pained him to say it.
“Can’t do what exactly? Can’t hang out? Can’t do sleepovers? Can’t kiss? Can’t dry fuck? Please, tell me what we can’t do because you’re giving me whiplash!” I yelled not being able to control my emotions.
“I’m not going to tell you again,” he warned with the same hard edge in his tone, only further pissing me off.
I scowled, stood on the bed, and spoke with conviction never taking my glare off his. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! FUCK YOU!”
His composure was calm and collected and the only expression that changed on his face was his pursed lips, which immediately had me unsettled for what he was going to do.
“Say it one more time, Lillian, I will have no choice but to take you over my knee and spank that little fucking ass of yours.”
My eyes widened. That was not what I expected… the thought alone made me want to keep going. Instead, I sat back down confused by my emotions.
“You wouldn’t.”
What the hell is wrong with me?
He didn’t falter. “I’m the adult here. I shouldn’t have let that happen. It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”
“I don’t know what you want from me? You’re hot one minute, you’re cold the next. I’m not twelve, Jacob. I’m sixteen. Most of my friends aren’t even virgins anymore.”
“I am sorry, Lily, you’re right. I have been leading you on, but that’s only because I don’t know what to do. I know I should stay far away from you, but I can’t find the strength to do that yet. I have to let you go, Kid.”
I cocked my head to the side, frustrated. “Fine. I’ll go and fu…” I hesitated from the glare in his eyes. “I’ll go sleep with some guy and then maybe you’ll touch me. I won’t be pure and innocent anymore and you don’t have to feel bad for stealing my virtue.”
The glare in his eyes didn’t disappear if anything they got darker.
“I’m twenty-three, Kid. That’s seven years older than you. Do you know what we’re doing is illegal? Do you have any idea how much shit I could get into for having a minor in my hotel room?”
“Who’s going to tell? I’m not!”
“Is that what you want for yourself? You want me to fuck you and then what? Hmm? Tell me since you have all the answers.”
I frowned. “I don’t know. I thought… I thought we could be together. Why is that so hard to understand?”
He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, even though it was probably just seconds before peering down at me.
“Lily, I was there when you were born. I held you when you were a baby.”
My eyebrows lowered as I took in his words. I didn’t know that.
“Lucas wanted a baby sister so bad. Not a brother, he had three of those. He wanted you. Do you have any idea how much shit we gave him about that? He didn’t care, Lucas loved you before you were even born, and the second I held you, I did too. We all did. It’s so easy for you to say that… to want that. I can’t. I’m supposed to see you like they do, but I never have.” He rubbed his fingers over his lips like the words coming out of his mouth made him feel dirty.
“I don’t know what that means and wish more than anything I could tell you what it did because it’s eating me fucking alive. I’ve watched you take your first step, I’ve watched you say your first word, and I’ve been there for every significant moment in your entire life, Lillian. Every. Single. One. And now here I am trying to take something from you that doesn’t fucking belong to me, and if Lucas or our parents found out they would bury me alive.”
My eyes watered. It was the sweetest, saddest thing anyone has ever said to me, and the fact that it was coming out of Jacob’s mouth made it that more intense. I knew what he was saying was right, but I tried to ignore it. In the end…
“I don’t care,” I stated. “Do you hear me? I. Don’t. Care.”
He sighed, his chest rising. “I’m sorry, Lily, but I do.”
“So now what? I go home and pretend that I don’t love you?”
He shut his eyes and bowed his head as soon as the words left my mouth and he wasn’t allowed to hide from me.
Not after all this.
“You know what? You’re right. I should grow up and explore new things. It’s not fair to you. I’ll make sure to go home and hang out with boys my own age.”
He instantly opened his eyes, peering up at me through his lashes, his resolve breaking.
“You know… experience age appropriate things, because it’s not wrong if it’s two sixteen-year-olds being together and fucking, it’s only wrong if it’s you and I. Did I get it right? Do I understand the rules now? I’m just a kid so it might take me a little while.”
“Lily...” he rasped. “Don’t.”
I stormed off the bed, grabbing my clothes and throwing them in my bag.
“Fuck…” he breathed out.
“Don’t do what? What am I not supposed to do? I’m only sixteen years old and all. I’m immature. I can’t have adult feelings and emotions. I’m your best friend’s baby sister, that’s all. I don’t have to be told twice that I’m not wanted.”
“You’re acting like a goddamn child.”
“Who cares! It’s how you see me anyway! It’s not going to change anything! I’m giving you what you want! If this is how you see me, then this is how I’ll act!”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You’re twisting my words. I want you more than anything and that is so fucking wrong. You are not ready to have sex with me or anyone else for that matter. That much you proved last night, sweet girl. You and I should not have happened, Lily, I’ve been selfish this far, but I have to take a step back,” he roughly grabbed my arm, turning me to face him.
I pushed him. I pushed him as hard as I could. His head jerking back from my reaction.
“Don’t touch me! You never get to touch me again!”
“Kid…”
“Exactly.”
We both faced off, neither one of us backing down.
“I’ll be sure to tell Lucas and my parents you said hi since they’re so damn important to you.”
I scoffed. “What the fuck, Lily?”
I looked at him one more time, grabbed my bag…
And left.