“Ain’t karma a bitch?” I announced, catching Jacob off guard as he stared at the now empty parking space that I assumed his car was parked in. “I guess you didn’t get the memo about downtown being tow happy, huh?” I mocked, pulling out my car keys from my purse.
He took a deep breath, his deep penetrating stare moving from me back to the empty space. He was pissed, which only provoked me to continue to mess with him. If he thought I was the naïve girl he left three years ago then he had another thing coming.
“Looking at the parking spot isn’t going to make your car magically appear.”
He looked at me again, but this time there was something behind the intensity of his eyes that I couldn’t quite place. Like it pained him to look at me.
Why?
“Shitty things happen to shitty people,” I stated, smiling. He still hadn’t said anything and that wasn’t like Jacob at all. Especially when it came to my smart-ass mouth. His silence started making me feel uneasy, I knew he felt it.
Jacob knew me as well as I knew him.
Hours…
Days…
Years…
Couldn’t change that, hell decades couldn’t change that.
“What are you doing here so late anyway? The bar closed an hour ago,” I asked, mostly because I wanted to shift the focus away from the effect he still had on me.
“Waiting for you,” he finally spoke with a sincere expression on his face that made my heart flutter.
I scoffed, “I’m not a kid, Jacob. I don’t need you to babysit me anymore.”
He immediately stepped forward, making me subconsciously step back. My response didn’t surprise him. It was almost as if he expected it.
“It’s late, Lillian.”
Fuck him for using my full name.
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“What kind of boss lets you walk to your car by yourself this late at night?”
“The kind who minds his own goddamn business. I don’t need anyone to look out for me. I’ve been doing a great job on my own these last few years.”
He grimaced, not bothering to cover it up. It confused me more than anything.
Why?
“You never needed anyone to look out for you, Kid, but it never stopped me before and sure as hell won’t stop me now.”
I scowled. “Don’t—” I stepped back again. The heel of my boot got caught on the pavement. My foot twisted. Jacob grabbed me around my waist, pulling me into his strong frame. My hands gripped his muscular arms, gasping at the sudden closeness between us, inadvertently peering up at him through my lashes. His hooded dilated eyes were the first thing I noticed. Then it was his lips, so fucking close to mine. All it would take was for one of us to speak and they would touch. We were a feather apart.
His breathing ran rapidly like mine, both of us waiting for the other to make the first move. I hated that my body wanted one thing and my mind told me another, both at war with each other.
My heart.
Betraying me once again.
It. Wanted. Him.
And that… I hated that, too.
All it would take is for me to say one word. One fucking word and my lips would be on hers. It would be as simple as that, and just as I was about to throw caution to the wind and claim her mouth the way I claimed her heart all those years ago, the spell was broken. The sound of a garbage can rattling nearby broke the passion that hovered between us. The same passion that had been there since I made her mine.
She pushed off my chest. “Call a cab, go home, Jacob,” was all she said, stepping around me to leave.
“My cell phone died.”
She turned with her cell phone out in her hand.
“I don’t remember where my hotel is,” I lied, but she didn’t have to know that.
She cocked her head to the side with a questioning stare.
“I barely know how to get back to the airport. I can call a cab, but what good is that going to do? I have no idea where my car was even towed. The hotel address is programmed into my GPS, and I didn’t even pay attention to the hotel’s name.”
If this were a few years ago, she would have known that everything that just spewed from my mouth was complete and utter bullshit.
Now I was a lawyer.
Enough said.
She bit her bottom lip. It took everything inside me not to bite it for her.
“You want to be responsible for me sleeping out on the side of the street?” I added for good measure.
The ice-cold demeanor she tried to portray didn’t fool me. Lily was as sweet as they come.
She sighed. “Fine. Come on.”
She turned and I grinned, placing my hands into the pockets of my slacks, following her a few streets over to her truck. She still drove the same Chevy truck that she begged her parents to buy her on her sixteenth birthday. It was the same exact truck Lucas had. She didn’t care that she could barely see over the steering wheel. She loved her brother and looked up to him. I would be lying if I said it didn’t pain my heart knowing we were in the same exact situation that would never end for us.
She was still my best friend’s baby sister.
She turned on the radio loud enough to where we couldn’t have a conversation. I knew what she was doing, and I allowed her reclusive behavior. I would let her get her thoughts together because whether she wanted it or not we were putting everything on the fucking table. I was done running. It didn’t take long for us to pull into her driveway. The soft landscape lighting highlighted the column features to her bungalow style home, screaming Lily, and I hadn’t even walked inside yet. I followed her inside, shutting the door behind me as she dropped her keys and purse on the entry table.
Her house was small as shit but perfect for her. An open floor plan led to the kitchen and the living room. There was a hallway to the left, which I assumed led to her bedroom and bathroom. Black and white pictures were scattered on different walls. I noticed I wasn’t in a single frame, not even in a group picture.
Motherfucker.
I remembered that picture, I was next to Half-Pint in that one. Little shit cut me out. I was about to call her out on it, but I heard a meow, a gray fat cat purred by my feet.
I bent down and picked him up. “Hey there,” I greeted, rubbing behind his ears. “What’s your cat’s name?”
“Jacob,” she shouted from the kitchen.
“Yeah?” I looked up as she walked back into the living room, leaning against the wall with a bottle of water in her hand.
“Jacob. That’s his name.”
I cocked my head to the side, an amused expression quickly falling over my face. “You named your cat after me?”
She folded her arms across her chest in defiance, and I knew the next thing that fell from her lips would be complete and utter bullshit.
“Well he’s an asshole and he uses me.” She smiled big and wide. “Seemed fitting,” she spewed.
I stood there stunned. I wasn’t expecting that.
She nodded toward the cat. “Don’t eat that one.”
I laughed, but that was Lily. Cold one second and hot the next. It was nice to see that some things hadn’t changed.
“So, you do remember?”
“I remember a lot of things and because of those things, you’re lucky you’re even in my house.”
“Lillian—”
“Don’t,” she paused to let her simple yet pungent word sink in. “The guest bedroom is down the hall to your right, I only have one bathroom and it’s across from your bedroom. I have somewhere to be early tomorrow morning. Make sure you’re gone by the time I get back.”
Her venomous tone snapped me back to reality. “So, we can’t be.”
“No.”
I pursed my lips trying to figure out a way to smooth this over. “At least let me treat you to breakfast.” All I needed was more time with her, to remind her what she meant to me. “Please,” I added.
She didn’t utter one word before she turned and left the room. Barely giving me a second glance. I took it as a good sign. I made sure to wait till she finished up in the bathroom before going in there.
I was in her house and all I could do was think about…
How to stay there.
I hated that I let him come home with me.
I hated that he was in my fucking house.
I hated that he was sleeping right next door to me.
Most of all I hated that I wanted nothing more than to take him up on his offer for breakfast. The fact that I wanted to strap myself to my bed because I could feel my body being physically drawn to him as if he were a magnet pulling me into his vortex didn’t help. I desperately tried not to let my mind wander to a time when I loved him. I dated several men throughout the years and I never let it get further than a few dates. I wouldn’t get attached to another man. It wasn’t in the cards for me, and a little part of me hated him for that, too. I had always been in love with the idea of love, and the first time I experienced it he showed me the reality of the fantasy I had in my head.
I was lonely.
My brother was married to Alex, they had been for over two years. I was ecstatic for them. Words couldn’t describe how much I longed for a relationship like theirs. It took them a long time to get to the place they were now. Alex had always been like a sister to me and now it was official, too. I didn’t ever want to rely on another man like I did with Jacob. I wouldn’t allow it. Of course, I had sex, but I also didn’t give it out freely. I was never that kind of girl, and I wasn’t going to start being one because Jacob hurt me. Plus I had a drawer full of battery-operated boyfriends and most of the time they finished the job those randoms couldn’t perform. I ached for Jacob in the same way I always had, but I still hated him, and I hoped that emotion would never go away. I just had to stay strong and stand my ground.
At the end of the day, he was still the same good ol’ boy that had fucked me over.
Get it together, Kid, just remember he’s an asshole. Mind over matter.
I tossed and turned the entire night, waking up before my alarm, which was set for seven am. I lied. I didn’t have to be anywhere. I just didn’t want to spend any more time with him than was necessary, so I took my guitar and went to my favorite park down the street from my house. I got lost in my music, letting my confusion express itself through my lyrics and strings. It was ten am by the time I got back to my house.
I laid my guitar on the couch and walked into the guest bedroom, the bed was made and it looked like no one had even been in the room. For a quick second, I allowed myself to be sad that he didn’t say goodbye to me though I quickly brushed that emotion away and out of my heart. I listened to my iPod, it was the only way to protect myself from the thoughts and sentiments that were brewing. I debated on whether or not to wash the sheets, I could smell him everywhere, his scent was as suffocating as it was addicting. I closed the door and turned to go into my bathroom to shower, needing to wash away the lingering traitorous thoughts of Jacob.
I opened the door and shrieked, placing my hand over my heart while my other hand was firmly placed on the doorknob. There was Jacob, in all his glory, freshly showered reaching for a towel. My eyes went to the only place any self-respecting woman would look.
His cock.
Jesus.
It looked better than I remembered.
A perfectly placed V lay proudly between his hips that made me want to lean forward and trace it with my tongue. I had fallen into his strong, firm body last night but feeling it didn’t do him justice now that I could see the pronounced definition of his impressive pecks. His arms were bigger than my thighs, and he wasn’t even flexing.
I. Stopped. Breathing.
When my lustful glance finally met his, I noticed the cockiest fucking grin plastered on his face, and it immediately washed away all the lust I was feeling for him at that moment. It didn’t matter that he was fully aware that he had an effect on me.
Fuck him.
I yanked out my earplugs. “What are you doing here?” I asked, seething.
“Exactly what it looks like,” he replied, starting to dry off with the towel not bothering to cover his dick.
“No shit. But why are you showering here? I told you to leave before I got back.”
“I asked you to go to breakfast with me,” he simply stated only pissing me off further.
“I didn’t say yes.”
He smiled, getting out of the shower still not bothering to cover himself. “But you didn’t say no either.”
“Jacob—”
“Lillian, just let me fucking feed you,” he argued with a husky tone, stepping into his slacks from last night.
“Fine, if that’s what it will take to get you out of my life then so be it.” I rolled my eyes and walked away, deciding to take a shower later.
We drove to the diner in silence. I took him to one of my favorite spots, if I had to suffer through breakfast, then it would at least be in a place I loved. The waitress took our orders while I sipped on my sweet tea. He ordered half the damn menu and I knew why he did it, he was buying more time with me.
"How long have you been working as the entertainment at the bar?" he asked, gazing at me with the exact same yearning he had in his eyes last night.
"Three years," I simply stated not wanting to give him more information than he deserved.
His eyes widened and a surprised expression quickly fell over him. "Don't you want to do something more with your life? I mean how much longer can you really work at a bar?"
I cocked an eyebrow. It was my turn to hold the surprised expression and like everything that involved Jacob, the pissed off one quickly followed.
I smiled. "Well, this was fun,” I sarcastically stated. “Nice catching up with you." I stood and looked down at his confused demeanor. "Call me never."
He gripped my wrist before the last word even left my mouth.
"I didn't mean it like that."
I sighed, trying like hell to ignore how the mere touch of his hand around my wrist made my body warm all over and my heart skipped a few beats. After all these years, he still had an effect on me.
I was still his.
"What do you want, Jacob? Why are you really here?"
He flinched, it was quick, but I saw it. He let go of my wrist as he latched onto my hand, pulling me back down to my seat.
He spoke with conviction, "You, Lillian…
I. Want. You."