I STARED AT the postcard I’d held in my purse for the past month, trying to convince myself to walk inside the rock building I was parked in front of. I glanced in the rearview mirror and watched Gracie give her bunny a hug, rocking the stuffed animal back and forth as much as her buckled car seat would allow.
I didn’t understand why I was so nervous. I wouldn’t be alone. I had Gracie, and Vicky had already sent me a text this morning letting me know how excited she was that I was coming.
When my new cell phone dinged from my first text, I got nervous. I knew that Aaron still hadn’t responded to the paperwork the lawyer had sent him over a month ago, and I feared he’d gotten my information. The rational part of me knew that was virtually impossible, but when it came to Aaron, rational wasn’t part of the equation.
The service was starting in a few minutes, and I didn’t want to be disrespectful by walking in late.
“You ready for this, sweetie?” I gazed at Gracie over my shoulder. “Mama’s nervous,” I admitted.
“Mamamama!” Gracie lifted her hands in the air, opening and closing her hands, letting me know that she was ready to get out of her seat. I couldn’t blame her. She’d spent over a month in the shelter, rarely leaving that building, other than a few brief outings. She almost seemed confused when we went to the car dealership. It was different for me, also. I’d never purchased my own car before. Aaron never even gave me a choice in the style or brand that I got. According to him, I should just be glad he let me have one.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of some of the crap he used to feed me.
This car was used and much less luxurious than the one I left behind in Ohio, but I loved it so much more. This one was mine, and no one could take the keys from me on a whim to keep me from the outside world.
I brushed those memories aside, grabbed the diaper bag, slinging it over my shoulder and lifted Gracie out of her seat, placing her on my hip where it seemed she fit perfectly. Although, she seemed to be growing and getting heavier by the day.
“Let’s do this, sweets.” I kissed her forehead and continued to make our way closer to the glass doors, following a few other people inside.
“Good morning. How are ya?” An older gentleman with a big smile held his hand out and gave me a quick shake.
“Good morning.” I gave him a brief nod and continued through the large doors, anxious to find Vicky.
“Hi there!” A young girl, probably in her late teens, with long blonde hair and flawless skin greeted me just as I entered the building
“Hello.” I gave her a smile.
“Oh my goodness, she’s so cute!” she gushed at Gracie, who decided to show off by blowing her a kiss.
“Aren’t you the most adorable thing ever!” The girl giggled as she placed her hands over her mouth, in awe of my daughter’s cuteness.
“Thank you,” I replied and glanced over her shoulder, searching for Vicky.
My eyes were drawn to a man standing in the corner with an older gentleman. He had chestnut hair and just a light coat of scruff along his cheeks. He was dressed in black slacks and a navy-blue button-up shirt, that matched his eyes perfectly. His eyes drifted to mine, and it felt as if the air had just been knocked out of my chest. I tried to look away, but our stares were locked. My heart began to race, and my mouth felt as if I hadn’t been able to quench my thirst in a decade.
He was beautiful.
“There you are!” Vicky’s voice pulled my eyes away from him, drawing me back to my own reality.
“Hey!” I waved with my free hand as she approached me.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She reached out and embraced both of us at the same time. “And you...little miss. I’ve been waiting to meet you!” She touched Gracie’s hand, who locked her chubby fingers around Vicky’s thumb.
“Thank you for inviting me. Sorry it took so long.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” she replied, and looped her arm through mine, leading me through another set of double doors into a large room filled with chairs and a stage. I’d seen the inside of churches on television before, but it was strange how comfortable it felt from the first moment my feet touched the floor.
Almost familiar. Which made absolutely no sense at all.
Vicky led me to the middle section, and I noticed a tall man with a full beard, wearing a flannel shirt and starched jeans, paired with scuffed up cowboy boots. A stark contrast from Vicky’s skirt and high heels. I tried not to feel out of place in my casual dress and flats. It was the only dressy outfit I left with when we fled. I looked around the room and noticed everyone was dressed differently. Some were wearing suits, and others were dressed in jeans with t-shirts. I decided not to let my insecurities reign right now. Besides, I did splurge and bought Gracie a new dress. It was pink and frilly, and I absolutely loved it.
“Honey, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is my husband, Lee.”
“Nice to meet you.” I gave him a quick wave.
“Nice to meet you too, ma’am.” His southern drawl took me by surprise and made me smile.
And that’s when I felt him...again. I looked out of the corner of my eye and noticed the beautiful man walk down the aisle and take a seat in the front row. I did my very best not to stare at his back, watch his every move.
Luckily, my attention was taken away when the lights were dimmed, and music began to play.
The woman’s voice on the stage caused chills to run up my spine. She began to sing about keeping your eyes above the waves and your soul resting in His embrace. I didn’t understand what some of the things meant, but I had an overwhelming urge to cry. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was pent up feelings over the years. Maybe it was watching my baby girl, swaying back and forth, singing her own version of this song.
Maybe it was just this place.
I allowed myself to mouth the words, and then my voice to utter quietly, as I read the words on the screen.
I am Yours.
And You are mine.