“I’M REALLY GLAD you guys came today.” Vicky looped her arm through mine as we started to walk outside after the service. I glanced over at Gracie who was in Vicky’s daughter, Madi’s arms. Gracie really took to Madi from the first time she met her. It was nice seeing her bond with people; she was very extroverted now that she was actually given the opportunity to interact with other people. Madi was close to convincing me to allow Gracie to go to the nursery during the service since she volunteered in there every other week. I was almost there, just not quite yet. Soon.
“Me too.” The preacher’s words really sunk in this morning. He spoke about second chances and turning to God when you needed help. Maybe there was something to it. I said the prayer at the end of the service when he asked if there was anyone who had never accepted Jesus into their heart. I repeated every word, trying to grasp what they meant. I didn’t quite understand all of it yet, but I was doing my best. And I trusted my answers would come. In time.
“Do you want to go have lunch with us? Our treat.” Vicky smiled, and I glanced at Lee who was rubbing his belly.
“Actually, I better get Gracie home for her nap. But, thank you for the offer.” I hadn’t been in a restaurant in months, but I also didn’t want to spend the cash when I had groceries at home. And taking Vicky up on her offer was out of the question. She’d done more than enough for me, I wasn’t going to let her buy my food.
“Maybe next time.” She gave me a wink before turning her attention to her husband. “Let’s go get you fed, honey.”
“I’m wasting away over here.” Lee chuckled, patting his stomach.
“I see that, we better hurry.” She giggled and fell in step with him.
“I’ll help you get Gracie in her car seat. Since you have your hands full,” Madi offered with a smile. I was used to doing everything that had to do with Gracie on my own, but a little help in that area was appreciated.
“Thank you, Madi. I’d love the help.” I smiled, throwing the diaper bag back over my shoulder as it slid downward, and we continued toward my car in the parking lot. You always hear about teenagers being rude and unruly, and sometimes that might be true, but Vicky’s kids were the exception. Her son was quiet and polite. And Madi, although she was only fifteen, was very mature and seemed to have a good head on her shoulders.
“She really likes you.” I glanced over as Gracie was playing with Madi’s long blonde hair.
“The feeling is mutual.” She smiled and hugged Gracie closer to her chest. When we got to the car, we made a team effort to get Gracie buckled as she fought to stay in Madi’s arms.
“You’ll see her again soon, I promise.” I shook my head as we succeeded in getting her confined to her seat.
“Um, hello.” A deep rumble came from behind me, causing me to freeze for a moment. Madi and I raised up at the same time and turned around.
“I’ll see you later,” Madi whispered, and I could see her stifling a smile as she squeezed my elbow before shuffling away—quickly. Unfortunately, I couldn’t reply to her because my entire focus was on the man standing in front of me.
It was him.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t looked around for him during the church service but without any luck. Yet here he stood.
Today he was wearing a black button-down shirt with starched jeans and shiny dress boots. I tried not to focus on his outfit and the way he filled it out, but his face was just as equally distracting. His dark hair was styled in a perfect mess, and those blue eyes. They were a perfect sky blue. And it wasn’t just the color, they were warm and friendly. He was clean shaven today, displaying a perfect jawline.
“Hi.” My voice was meek and almost inaudible. And to be honest, I was a little confused. I was waiting for the “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else” moment.
“I was hoping to see you again.” He gave me an unexpected smile. And what a smile it was. The grin gave way to a small dimple on his left cheek.
“You were?” Yes, absolutely confused.
“Yeah.” He chuckled, and the sound made my heart flutter. I did my best to ignore the feeling, knowing this wasn’t something I would grow familiar to hearing.
I couldn’t reply, I didn’t know what to say. So, I simply waited and tried not to stare.
“Sorry, uh, I’m Joshua.” He held his hand out and I placed mine in his. The moment our hands touched, I felt a connection. Literal electricity ran up my arm. It was something that was so virtually unfamiliar to me I almost jerked my hand away, except I couldn’t.
“I’m Ryan,” I replied, allowing my hand to fall away from his.
“Ryan,” he repeated. The way he said my name caused my heart to pound against my chest. “I like that.”
“Thanks.” I nervously bit the inside of my cheek.
“Are you new to the area?” he asked, looking around me briefly and flashed a smile in Gracie’s direction. His simple gesture pulled me back to reality.
My reality.
“Yeah, sort of. I’ve been here a few months.” I felt the urge to run, and I couldn’t explain my reasoning. I just wanted to get out of here.
Yet, stay here forever.
“Well, I’m glad you came back to church. I was hoping to get the chance to actually meet you.” He stared down at me, and I had to look away, so I glanced over my shoulder at Gracie.
“Um, thanks.” I was too nervous to have an actual conversation. I couldn’t even understand why he was standing here. He was almost too beautiful to look at.
“I’m sorry. I know this is forward. And you don’t really know me,” he laughed, and ran his fingers through his perfectly messy hair. “But, would you like to have lunch with me?”
“What?” I wasn’t even sure if I’d heard him correctly. This didn’t even make sense to me.
“I mean, if you’re hungry.” Now he was the nervous one. “We can go somewhere kid friendly, that way you don’t have to worry about your little girl.” He gave Gracie another smile, and I knew I had to flee.
“Um, I’m sorry. No. I can’t,” I mumbled, feeling the urge to cry, although I didn’t understand why.
“Oh, okay,” he stated, but he didn’t move. He stared at me. Through me.
“I have to go.” I gave him a pathetic smile and turned my back to him. “I’m sorry.” I looked over my shoulder and noticed he still hadn’t moved. “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon, though.” He nodded and began to walk away, hands in his pockets, those mesmerizing blue eyes downcast.
“Okay,” I whispered, watching him from the corner of my eye until he walked back through the glass doors of the church. When he was out of my sight, I slid into my car and a single tear rolled down my cheek.
“Mamamama!” Gracie pulled me from my inner turmoil and back to reality.
“You ready, sweetie? Before Mommy runs through those doors and makes a fool of herself.” I shook my head at my own ridiculousness and pulled out of the church parking lot.
My pieces were too broken to stand against something so flawless.