23 hours and 50 minutes
AS THE BUS came to a screeching halt at the Dallas station, an enormous sense of relief washed over me. I buckled Gracie in her car seat and she started to squirm, tiny grunts of frustration filling the air around us.
“I know, I know. Mommy is tired of this bus too. It’s been a long trip. But we’re here, sweetie,” I cooed at my little dark-haired beauty, and tickled her chin. My voice seemed to calm her, and she gave me a smile.
We’re here.
I gathered our belongings and followed the crowd of people making their way down the narrow aisle.
“Sorry,” I whispered, bumping an older gentleman in the shoulder with the car seat as I maneuvered my way toward the front of the bus.
As I stepped out, the morning sun blasted me in the face. I’d read about Texas summers in books before, but this was more than I could even imagine. The sun felt as if it would blister my northern skin in a matter of minutes. I scolded myself for not packing sunscreen for Gracie. Her fair complexion didn’t stand a chance in this heat. But luckily it was still early, and I had time to get to our destination, hoping we would be out of the heat before it got any worse.
I waited as the bags were unloaded, finding what belonged to us and scooping everything I owned into my arms. I walked over to the ticket window, trying my best to keep everything steady, not wanting to make a mess or a spectacle by dropping everything.
“Excuse me, sir. Do you have a phone I can use?” He peeked over his newspaper, his brows cocked upward, and I knew he wasn’t happy about the interruption.
“Sorry,” I whispered. I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t have a cell phone, and pay phones were a thing of the past these days. But I needed help. He nodded in the direction of a public land line sitting on a table a few feet away.
“Thank you.” I turned away from him and made my way to the table with the phone and the sign that read “Local Calls Only.” I pulled a folded sheet of paper out of my pocket and dialed the cab company I knew wasn’t far from here. I also knew the price of a cab would be steep, but I didn’t have a choice.
***
An hour later, the sweltering cab pulled up to my destination. Gracie had fallen asleep after her bottle on the way over and was sleeping once again.
“Thank you.” I stared at the fee on the screen in front of me and wanted to cry. The money I spent months saving was dwindling quickly and I was getting scared of making this work. But the truth was, I didn’t have a choice anymore. I’d made my decision and there was absolutely no turning back.
I handed the cash to the driver and he was courteous enough to help me with my baggage. It was the least he could do after he practically robbed me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I stared at the small building in front of me.
I never thought my life would turn to this.
I’d grown up in a modest but nice home. My father worked hard to support his family. And when my mother got sick, he worked even harder, trying to keep everything together for mom and me. But when she succumbed to her illness, it was too much to bare. I lost him less than a year after she died.
Losing both of my parents while I was in college was devastating. That’s when Aaron came into my life. I leaned on him and overlooked so much. He was a wolf wrapped in sheep’s clothing. He looked good on paper and to everyone who knew him on the outside. But behind closed doors, he was cold and mean. He was calculating and vicious. And it was too late. By then, I was stuck.
But I made it out, and everything inside me hoped that this place could live up to its name, because it was exactly what we needed right now.
SAFE HAVEN.
“Mamamama,” Gracie’s mumbles began as I started to walk closer to the door. I sat her car seat on the ground close to the entrance and knelt beside her.
“Hello there, sweet girl,” I gushed, and pressed my lips to her forehead. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.” I wasn’t sure which one of us I was trying to convince. The sound of the heavy door opening drew my attention away from her perfect little face and up to the woman standing over me.
“Good morning. Can I help you?” I stood up and gave her a nod, taking in her features. She had salt and pepper hair that framed her face. Her nose was sprinkled with freckles and a makeup free face that had a glow.
“Um, yes. Hello. My name is...” I’d rehearsed this speech all the way from Ohio and now I couldn’t get my words out. I was so disappointed in the life I’d allowed myself to get wrapped up in. I brought a daughter into a household that was dangerous. I married a man who took pleasure in using me as his own punching bag.
“I’m sorry,” I whimpered as the tears began to slide down my hot cheeks. And I was even disappointed in myself for crying at this very moment. I needed to be strong and I couldn’t even do that right.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to gather my composure and pull myself together. I had to show this woman that I was here to get my life together. I didn’t like the fact that I had turned into a charity case, and now I looked pathetic on top of it.
“It’s okay, dear. Here. Why don’t you come out of the heat?” She touched my back gently and ushered me inside, the cold air an instant relief.
“Okay, thank you.” My voice cracked, and I let out a shaky breath, gripping Gracie’s car seat tightly to my side. I could hear the laughter of children faintly in the distance and I tried to allow that sound to comfort me.
SAFE HAVEN.
SAFE HAVEN.
SAFE HAVEN.
I tried to convince myself that I was over a thousand miles from Aaron. I used cash for our bus tickets there was no way he’d ever have a clue that I came to Texas. It was a world away, and I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t going to kick in the door any minute.
“Just follow me. You’re safe here.” Her voice gave me just the ounce of comfort I needed to follow her into the small office just ahead.
She closed the door behind us and took a seat as I unbuckled Gracie, wiping the sweat from the back of her head, taking a seat across from the woman’s desk.
“My name is Molly. I’m one of the admins here.” She gave me a sweet smile and pulled a folder from a stack on her desk.
“I’m Ryan. This is my daughter, Gracie.” I pulled her closer to me, feeling the need to protect her.
“It’s very nice to meet you. Can I get you something to drink?”
“No thank you,” I replied, trying to ignore how dry my throat was, but pulling out Gracie’s sippy cup of juice, and watching as she pressed it to her lips.
“I know it wasn’t easy for you to come here.” Her voice oozed sweetness and soothed me, just a little. I couldn’t respond to her comment, she didn’t know the half of it. So, I just nodded in agreement.
“You’re safe here.” She repeated the words she used earlier, and I allowed myself to take a breath.
“I left my husband. He hit me. A lot. And I knew it was only a matter of time before he started to hurt her.” I nodded toward Gracie and the tears began to fall once more, but I continued anyway. “I couldn’t take that chance. I searched women’s shelters and found this one. We took a bus from Ohio. I just need help. Some place that will keep her safe, keep us safe.” I began to cry the tears that I’d been holding back for so long.
“Can you help us?” I asked, hoping that she could. This was my only hope. I didn’t want to live on the streets with my daughter. I needed a chance.
“You’ve come to the right place.” She stood and walked over to the mini refrigerator in the corner, pulled out a bottle of water, and placed it in front of me.
“Sadly, there are many women in your situation. You’re not alone in this. But you did the right thing. You got out. I know you’re scared, but we’re here to help you. It’s what we do here.” Her words of assurance gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in years.
“Welcome to Safe Haven.” She smiled and reached down, giving me a gentle hug, and then rubbed her perfectly manicured hand over Gracie’s long locks.
“Thank you.”