Danny

 

 

I’m up with the birds, despite the short hours I slept, and skipping down the stairs to beat the housekeeper to breakfast when I hear voices, loud voices, and freeze halfway up.

I’m just about to turn and dart back upstairs when I hear Wolf’s snarls and realize that he’s in Wylder’s office. Being sneaky is not cool, and I probably do not want to hear whatever it is they’re arguing about, but I can’t stop my feet as I creep down the stairs and sneak closer to the door, pushing my ear into the wood.

“Bullshit! You can’t be thinking about this, man. It’s just wrong,” Wolf yells, the tone of his voice telling me that he is more than angry. He’s enraged and not at all happy with whatever Wylder has laid on him.

“You think I don’t know that? You think this is easy for me, man? I’m not a monster, Wolf. I do feel shit, and yes, as opposed to what people think of me, I do not take human life lightly.”

“Then, you should find another way, Bear. Jesus, when we started this, I was all the way in with you, and you know it.”

His voice has calmed some, making it harder to hear, but I don’t miss the soft plea in his voice, and for some reason, the fact that Wolf, the silent, sometimes incorrigible gossip, sometimes frightening man, is pleading with his brother makes my nerves freeze.

I should leave and pretend I didn’t hear anything. Hell, I haven’t really heard anything, have I? I should go before I do hear something, because my instincts tell me that I shouldn’t hear any of this, that I don’t want to.

I don’t move and press closer to hear Wylder’s reply, my stomach twisting in knots when I hear a bang and the flutter of paper. Must have thrown something, I think.

“There is no other way! For God’s sake, Wolf, do you think I wouldn’t have said something if I knew what to do? I don’t have another plan for this. It’s now or never, and if I don’t, if we don’t go ahead, then we lose Ariston and we’ll never have a chance at him again. We’ve worked at this for eight years, Wolf. Eight fucking years of scraping Mom and Dad off the floor and giving them a reason to keep going. We made a promise.”

“They wouldn’t want you to keep it this way!”

“It’s the only way!”

I’ve never heard Wylder uncontrolled. Even when the man is furious, he keeps a level tone, something that creeps me the heck out because any man with that much self-control is dangerous. Daddy always warned me to steer clear of the ones who don’t lose their temper.

“You know it is, Wolf.”

A long pause ensues, and I can just picture the big blond behemoth scrubbing at his head like he does when he isn’t impressed with something. I don’t know him all that well, but from what little contact we’ve had, Wolf seems to be okay. Scary but okay.

“Jesus, man, this just isn’t right.”

“I know, but if there’s another way, then tell me, because I sure don’t have the stomach for this either,” he says.

I’m burning to know what they’re discussing and curse the long shower I took before coming down. Whatever it is, is bad, bad enough that even Wylder isn’t happy about doing it.

“I’m sorry, Bear.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Footsteps have me scrambling for the stairs, and I twirl as if just stepping down when the door opens and they walk out, stopping at the sight of me.

Something in his eyes has me stilling, but I force myself not to look guilty and sweep past him, quivering at the look in his eyes.

“Morning.”

“Hey, uh, hey, Danny,” Wolf mumbles at my back as they follow me into the kitchen.

That guilty look makes my insides curdle, and I know, I just know, that whatever is so bad that they’re fighting about it, it’s going to affect me. Badly.

I don’t want to believe that he’d ever hurt me. I don’t believe it, but I can’t stop myself from trembling when I start breakfast and finally look up to meet his eyes.

The blankness there is no surprise, and for once, I wish he’d look at me with something more than that. Just once I wish I could see softness.

Breakfast is quiet and awkward, with Wolf dashing out as soon as he’s shoveled his food in, leaving me alone with Wylder, who is brooding and watching me silently.

“What you said yesterday about not wanting to hurt my family.”

He doesn’t continue, and I am forced to meet his gaze again, breathing through my fear and the uncertainty I feel.

“It’s true.”

“It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said or done for me,” he says quietly, so softly I have to strain to hear it.

But I do. I hear him, and the way he says it is so…unlike him that I bite into my lips to stop them quivering. It’s terrible to think, but I want him to be the old Wylder right now, the gruff, nasty, taunting man who talks dirty and laughs when I blush.

That Wylder, I am sure of. This one, with the soft tone and strange look in his eyes, is scaring me. It’s ironic, but this niceness, or whatever it is, it’s terrifying.

“I’m sorry, then, Wylder, because it shouldn’t be that way. It is true though, and if that angers you—No! Don’t deny it, because I was here yesterday when you stormed out and stayed away from me all night. I get it, okay, no lovey-dovey soft stuff. You warned me, and I overstepped the boundaries of this…this thing between us. It won’t happen again,” I mumble, praying that this mood is just about him not liking the closeness or whatever he was feeling yesterday.

It’s not though. God, I just know it’s not, and it’s making me battle against tears when he shakes his head and leans over to take my hand, stroking it in a way that isn’t sexual at all.

God, no. No, give me back the pig who makes graphic comments about my vagina and ass, I plead.

“I…I was shocked. I never once thought that anyone would give a damn about me or my family. You’re a stranger to them all, and yet you’re willing to lie and stay here, a prisoner, because you feel responsible for them. Not many people would react that way, Danny. No one I know besides my family would care about other people above their own survival and freedom.”

Oh, I get that. This self-sacrificing attitude was a long time in coming, and trust me, if he’d expected it of me just a day after he took me, I’d have said screw this shit and ran, uncaring of what would happen, so great was my need to get out and get home where I could be safe.

It’s funny what some perspective and crazy, stupid love will do to a woman’s rational mind.

“Not everyone is cold and heartless, Wylder. I don’t know your mom and dad or your other brothers, and I didn’t know your sister either, but that doesn’t mean that they’re nothing to me. Maybe I shouldn’t care. Hell, I probably shouldn’t, and I can only say that I may be a little crazy already, but I can’t stand the thought of anyone getting hurt. My mom used to tell me that love isn’t optional, that choosing not to love others is a choice we make. I may not know your family, but that doesn’t make them any less than me, and what kind of person would I be if my life meant more to me than any of theirs?” I ask, choking back tears when he closes his eyes and looks away.

“I used to think that way, you know. My parents raised us to be good people. Wolf and I were not that much older than Lyon, Lynx, Hawk, and Sparrow, but we were the big brothers, and we taught them all the same thing, never do harm. It was the one rule in our house that was unbreakable.”

Somehow, I can’t imagine Wolf or Wylder being soft little boys who turned into good men, but when he looks at me and I see him, really see, it’s suddenly all I can see.

Don’t cry, Danny, I plead, blinking and taking a silent breath.

“That all changed?”

“Yeah,” he laughs humorlessly, fiddling with his cup as his eyes get this faraway look that seems sad and angry all at once. “Yeah. I went to the Army, and I thought, this is it. I can serve my country and then study on their dime and just live, ya know? But I should have known life wasn’t going to just be a breeze. I’d grown up too fucking easy for it to last, and I learned that the hard way.”

“No.”

“Yes. I was an idealistic little shit with no idea what the real world is like. War is tough, and I won’t ever say that it isn’t an eye-opener, but off the battlefield is where the true horror is. Every day people kill each other. They kill over greed or jealousy or just because they can, and it’s ugly. At least out in the war zones you understand why it’s so ugly. People have their beliefs, and we fight to uphold them. Out on the streets is so much uglier,” he murmurs, shaking his head and turning to me with so much weariness I want to cradle his head to me and smooth it away.

“Wylder, I love—”

“You know, I lied to you about how you got taken.” He cuts in harshly, stalling the words in my throat deliberately, almost cruelly, as if he doesn’t want to hear them.

I still at that and suck my lips in to keep them from trembling.

“I was watching your father and Jon. The Irish have had their eye on your uncle for a long time, and so, I thought he could be useful. So, I watched them, and then I watched you, because if he wasn’t going to play ball, then I needed incentive.”

“Wylder—”

“You were the sexiest woman I had ever seen, and I have to admit that I hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but you know, I’d have used you in a heartbeat if I needed to. It was rotten fucking luck that Noni and his crew found out about you. I almost shit a brick when I found out they had you, because I was going to come for you. I’d decided to seduce you and keep you close just in case. Kill two birds, right? I could screw you, like my dick was dying to, and keep you on tap in case I needed you. Win your trust, maybe get in with your family. Easy,” he says, eyes suddenly empty again.

I gasp, I can’t help it, and curl my fists in my lap to stop from lashing out. Oh God, this hurts. Worse than anything that has come before. He feels nothing. Nothing. I am nothing to him but a lay and a missed opportunity.

“Nothing to say, Danny girl?” he taunts, using the endearment both my dad and Jon use.

I can’t form a word, for fear of crying, so I shake my head and will myself not to cry. The tears are there though, and God, my chest hurts as I meet his empty eyes and know, for sure, that I’ve made a huge mistake trusting this man.

“You’re not going to say you love me?”

Another taunt, this one sneered at me in a way that has me pulling back as if he slapped me.

“Please, don’t do this. Don’t make it feel worse than it already does.”

I don’t care that I’m begging. Honestly, it’s so much better than crying and throwing myself at him. I want to though. I want to yell and tell him he has to at least care about me. He has to. I’ve given him all I have.

“You’re blaming me for this, and yet I warned you, Danny. I told you I don’t do this soft romantic stuff. You should have run, baby. You should have run hard because now you’re here and I don’t have a fucking choice!” he yells, slamming his fist into the table with a hiss. “If you’d only run.”

That’s a warning, loud and clear, and now I do run, jumping up with a force that almost sends me to the floor before I find my footing and dash for the door, my heart beating so hard I can’t draw in a breath.

I don’t know what’s coming, but I heard the angry denial in his voice, remember his words earlier, and I know I need to get away before I can’t.

I need to run before whatever is upsetting enough to have Wolf fleeing comes for me.

I make it out of the kitchen and halfway down the hall before I’m tackled from behind, Wylder turning at the last minute to take the brunt of the fall.

I’m on him, back to chest, and struggling when I feel the jab in my leg and look down to see the syringe buried in my thigh. It burns going in, hurts like a bitch when I try to slap it out before he can inject me.

Too late though, too late, I think as I start going numb, my struggles lessening even as my mind cries out and tears leak down into my hair.

“Please, Wylder.”

“It’ll be okay, baby. Ssshh, just stop fighting, Danny. It will all be okay.”