Lynx

 

 

The drive to the hospital feels like it takes forever because Teeny’s scent keeps wafting up at me, the slightly flowery fragrance of her shampoo doing things to my libido I do not want to focus on.

The way she looked when she bounced into the house earlier, her awe and joy and the way she looked at me like I’d hung the moon for her, it was so good all I wanted to do was grab her and kiss the soft smile from her lips and replace it with my tongue.

I can’t say I didn’t find Teeny attractive from the get-go. That would be a lie because I’m just a guy and I have eyeballs. The woman is smoking hot in a bikini.

But I can say that the lust that hit me after seeing her happy was so strong I thank God that Franklin guy and my family showed up to keep me from doing something I would have regretted. Yeah, because I would have made mad love to her right there in her oven of a house and licked every drop of moisture from her skin after.

But what then? Teeny needs me, and as of today, she’s working for me. That means she’ll be in and out of my life more than my mom is at the moment.

We’ll see each other every day, five days a week at minimum, and it would be awkward because no matter how great sex may be with her, that is all I will let it be.

I don’t do commitment, not right now, if ever. I have a business to focus on, and I am not looking for love or a readymade family. We’re friends, neighbors. I’m her boss, and that is all we can have.

The temptation is testing my resistance though, I won’t lie, because she smells good and her boobs have this thin sheen of perspiration on her skin and all I want to do is lean over and lick it off before checking her nipples for more.

We arrive just in the nick of time, before I embarrass myself and make her feel awkward as hell, and Teeny is almost bouncing with excitement as I follow her into the hospital and up to the second floor where the pediatric wing is.

I adore Tammy the minute I lay eyes on the little doll. She has dark hair the color of an ebony waterfall, and her eyes are as deep a brown as Teeny’s, but that is where the resemblance ends because my little doll has mocha skin the color of light caramel and a round face that in no way resembles Teeny.

“Hey, TamTam, you feeling better?” Teeny asks, going over to hug her and kiss her hair.

“Yip. Nurse Gabby sayed I all bettew. Whews Momma?”

Okaaaay, this is just not easy, I think when I see Teeny swallow and look at me as if she’s about to have a breakdown.

“Er, uh, the thing is that—”

“Your momma was really tired, Tammy girl, and she needed a break, so she asked Aunt Teeny to take care of you for a while,” I improvise, giving Teeny a look that shows my awkwardness.

“Whose is you?”

Teeny finally snaps out of it and stops staring at me to smile at Tammy and stroke her hair.

“This is Lynx. He’s my neighbor and a friend of mine. He gave me a ride over to see you, and he’s helping me fix the house up so we can get you a room.”

“Can I have chockit when we goes to yous house? I needs chockit to get bettew.”

Even Teeny laughs at the clever little minx, and soon enough she’s laughing at me as I tease Tammy and tell her all about how I have a pool that she can swim in but only if Teeny is with her at all times.

We stay there for a bit, and Teeny feeds her a dinner of mashed potatoes and chicken fingers before the medicine knocks her out.

“She’s adorable,” I say once we’re back on the road and headed home, my first order of business getting us dinner.

“She is. She was a crier when we brought her home from the hospital, but as you can see, that’s all personality. Tam loves attention at all times, and she’s let us know since she was born just what she thinks of us ignoring her.”

I like the way she laughs while saying it, and I really like the look on her face when she thinks about her niece.

“You love her a lot.”

“I do. I was with her for six months while Ally got over herself and tried to be her mom. It broke my heart when she moved them out, but I understood that me being there all the time was making it way too easy for Ally not to pay attention to her. I know I’m not her mom, and trust me, when she throws a tantrum, I am grateful. I was grateful when I could give her back.”

I laugh at that because as great as Tam is, she is clearly not shy about asking for or taking what she wants.

“Her mom just left her?”

I still can’t believe it. The kid is adorable as hell, and despite her grumpy disposition when it comes to not getting her way, I really like her. She’s a kid. All kids are a handful.

Teeny goes all quiet at my question, and I regret saying anything until she sighs and leans her head back tiredly, looking at me.

“She can’t help it, is all. She’s like my mom. They find it hard to see anything but the next win. I convinced her to go to group a while back, but that only lasted about five minutes before she was back at the dice table. Honestly? I just think some women are meant to be moms and some aren’t. I can’t judge Ally because, well, I spoilt her when she was little to make up for Mom leaving, and then, when Tammy was born, I enabled her behavior. I was there every night to look after her while Ally went out with her girlfriends, and I just…I should have been harder on her, but she’s so flaky, ya know, and I just…I didn’t want to lose her. She’s the only family I have.”

I get that. I know better than anyone what it’s like to lose a sister and mourn the loss of a life that could have been. What most people don’t understand is that the grief isn’t just about their death but also about losing that chance to know and love them. Teeny’s sister may not be gone like my sister, Sparrow, is, but she’s not in her life either, and I guess I can understand why Teeny would want to avoid that.

Losing a family member, even if it’s just as the result of an argument, is a death in and of itself, and I hate that she’s going through this. Especially because her sister may as well be gone at this point. No way will Teeny ever let her near Tammy again.

So, yeah, she’s suffering loss right now, and it pisses me off to see the sadness that lurks in her eyes.

“Sometimes you just have to let go, Teeny. Sometimes all you can do is pray for the best and hope to God that person makes it, makes the right choice.”

“But that’s just it,” she says softly, looking away as tears fill her eyes. “It doesn’t matter if she makes that decision, not anymore. She had her chance, Lynx, and she blew it. Big time. Do you know that Tammy hasn’t been eating properly for weeks? The doctors aren’t just keeping her in the hospital for her ear. They’re trying to get her to gain a few pounds before the state decides if she can come home with me. I’ll have to adopt her, legally take her away from Ally. I can’t let her see her again.”

“What if—”

“What if she finally gets her shit together and wants to build a relationship? Then what? I still couldn’t let her be in Tam’s life because that social worker made it very clear that Ally is unfit. She’ll never get Tammy back, Lynx, and I can’t hurt that child by telling her that her mom screwed up so badly she can’t ever be her mom again. It’ll be me being the bad cop again, and I won’t do that to myself just to give Ally what she wants. Not this time.”

I hear the steely conviction in her voice and nod, understanding what she’s saying but so sad for her because this truly is the death of her sister. I know Teeny’s a good person and that she’s hurting right now because she’s had to make a choice, but I respect her need to protect Tammy, even if it hurts her and her sister.

“I’m so sorry, Teeny.”

She sniffs and keeps looking out the window, her lip trembling before she can bite it still.

“It is what it is. If it wasn’t for you and your family, I wouldn’t even have the means to keep Tammy, so that’s just another reason for me to resent Ally. It seems that no matter how hard I look, I just can’t find an excuse for her this time. But that’s okay cause maybe it’s time to stop making excuses.”

 

 

Teeny

 

I’m exhausted when I wake up the next morning, my body sluggish after only an hour of sleep because it’s still hot as Hades in this place, and after turning down Lynx’s offer to sleep in his guest bedroom, I had to come back here, over full from barbecue and fries, and sleep in the furnace.

I would so have stayed at his place last night. I mean, the man’s house is like a fridge inside and so comfortable I wanted to fall asleep right where I was sitting.

But I needed time to think and some space from his probing concern. I thought long and hard about what I said to Lynx on the drive home, and I still stand by my decision.

I’ll get through the checks tomorrow and then bring Tam home where I can look after her and be a good parent, the way Gran was to us. I will love her and make sure she has everything she needs, no matter what, and one day, when she’s older, I will tell her the truth because children deserve the truth.

I won’t let Ally back in here, and that is still true because I don’t want her to hurt Tam again, but my reasoning isn’t quite as altruistic as I want it to be. The truth is that I am done being the doormat and I am done doing other people’s shitty job and taking responsibility so they can fly in and pretend they’re the world’s best…anything.

If I have to parent Tam, then I will be her parent until such a time as she is old enough to decide whether she wants Ally to be her mom or not.

The selfishness of my thoughts shames me, but I am decided, and I feel okayish right now but for the fact that it’s six in the morning and I’m going to work to escape the heat in my house.

Trotting over the backyard, I get to the back door and huff when I find it unlocked. The man is a menace to his own safety, I think, shaking my head as I walk over and start a pot of coffee before getting breakfast ready.

I have a lot to do today, and I want to start it off right. Breakfast for the boss. Clean until two because Rain’s going to check in on Tammy so I don’t have to go all the way out there again three times a day.

I’ll tackle his bedroom first and work my way down and—

I almost drop dead of a heart attack when I turn in time to see a gun trained on me.

“Oh my God! Don’t shoot me, the potatoes will burn!” I yell, hands going up just as Lynx comes around the door, cursing loudly.

“Jesus, Teeny, what the fuck are you doing?!”

He looks pissed, and his hand is shaking like crazy when he puts the safety on and shoves the gun in the waistband at his back. Goooood morning, New Orleans! I have officially got to send a thank-you note to CK for their underwear, I think, blinking down at his junk with way too much focus.

“I, erm, cooking,” I manage because I’m stopping just short of fanning myself right now and my vocal cords are busy trying to climb out my throat.

I should be terrified because a man the size of a football player just ran into the kitchen with a gun, and yet all I can think is ‘yummy, yummy, yummy.’

Lynx is still shaking when he lowers himself down into a chair at the table and stares at me like I’ve grown two freaking heads.

“I could have shot you.”

“You didn’t. And besides, couldn’t you smell the grits, Lynx?”

“Well, yeah,” he hedges, flushing when I smirk and wait for him to understand that he almost shot a woman who’s cooking him breakfast. “Shit, Teeny, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. I guess I’ll just knock next time. Want some coffee?”

He accepts with a grunt and doesn’t move from his seat while I bustle around and serve him before grabbing my own coffee and sitting down. I’m not eating, because I had something from the stuff his mom must have snuck into my fridge yesterday.

Cold bacon is surprisingly good, though the pancakes…not good after reheating.

“You aren’t eating?” he asks when he notices my lack of plate, his scowl making me grin.

The man is a feeder.

“Already ate before I came over. And no, I’m not lying, so you can stop right there, Wylder. Your mom and sisters must have left food, because I have food. A lot of food,” I say slowly, making him smile as he digs in.

“God, I love my mom.”

Me too. If I could have a girl crush on any woman, I think it might be Rain Wylder. She’s hot for her age, has a tongue that could flay a man alive, and she’s sweet as hell. Sneaky. But sweet.

“You don’t have to make me breakfast, you know,” he says after a comfortable silence, scraping the last of the grits and gravy up with a groan.

I hide my smile, because the man must be really spooked if he can say that after tasting my grits, and wave him off.

“Lynx, you just had my kitchen redone, ordered a new air unit for my house, ordered a fence, gave me money to buy food, and drove me to the hospital all on your own time. I think breakfast is the least I can do, don’t you? Now, stop glaring at me—”

“But the money was for Tam’s clothes! We still have to go grocery shopping,” he barks, making me scream inside because the man is just plain nuts.

“A thousand dollars for clothes? For a two-year-old? Are you crazy?” I yell, burning my tongue on the scalding hot coffee.

“No. I told you to buy her clothes. Did you buy her clothes?”

Yes. Yes, I did. I bought her a lot of stuff that was on sale. Even on sale they were not cheap, but I managed to get her a full closet and accessories with five hundred dollars, my heart crying out when I saw the total.

Rain wanted to kill me halfway through my bargain hunt in the place, her mutterings about her little angel needing more falling on the deaf ears of a seasoned bargain shopper.

“Yes, smart ass, I bought her a lot of clothes and pajamas and even this cute little tutu and wings. She’s clothed. I just don’t see why I have to spend so much money on stuff when she’ll be playing in the mud most of the time. She’s two, Lynx.”

“Whatever. You, woman, are nuts. You think she enjoys wearing cotton blends and nylon just because she’s two?”

Why the nerve.

“No, but I don’t see why I should dress her in silk to play in the garden. I can’t wash that out, Lynx, and it gives me hives thinking about Tammy ruining all those clothes when she doesn’t know the difference between cotton and freaking silk from the worms of a thousand dead…whatever! It’s just weird.”

“Whatever. We’re going shopping at five when I get back from work. By the way, where’s your car?”

Oh, ground, open now, I plead when he keeps eyeing me and waiting for an answer. I do not want to admit it got impounded because I ran out of gas in the parking lot and had to leave it.

“Teeny, what happened to your car?” he asks again, this time saying the words super slow as if I’m challenged.

I mumble an answer and muffle a scream of annoyance when he makes me repeat it.

“It got towed.”

“Why?”

I try to mumble again, and he’s in my face, hands planted on the table before I can finish.

“Okay! I ran out of gas on the way there, okay?”

Lynx narrows his eyes and closes them as if begging for patience before sighing and nodding again.

“I’ll get Mom to come and drive you over there to get it out of the lot,” he says, finishing off his coffee with a gulp.

“No! I mean, really, this is just…I can call my friend Miri. She doesn’t know about Tam yet, and uh, she’ll probably want to go over there anyway. I can just swing by and get it,” I say, grasping at straws and hoping to God Miriam is able to get me there because I do not, absolutely do not, want to spend another day showing his mom what a loser I am.

I like them, and I would spend time with them if I could because, let’s face it, I have a family crush on them, but I have some pride left, slim though it may be, and telling people how I got my car towed is not going to cut it today.

“Fine. But be here by eleven to let Lyon in.”

“Come on!”

“Want me to call Mom?”

“Fine. Jesus, has anyone ever told you you’re way too serious, Lynx?” I ask, sucking my teeth when he grins.

“You’re the first one, Teeny.”

I huff at his smile and get up to load the dishwasher, turning to see him gone so fast I frown. Man’s strange in the morning, I think, making a mental note to keep an eye on his crazy.