Teeny

 

 

Lynx keeps his hand on my back and strokes me as the assholes walk through the house and inspect everything from the childproofing Hawk and Lyon helped Lynx install this morning to the fridge and the new pool cover that miraculously appeared when I woke up.

They’ve been through every room in the place, and I thank God Rain arrived with Lori and Leila this morning, her arms filled with princess bedding for the bed in one of the guest rooms and little things that will make the place more inviting to a two-year-old.

We sorted and unwrapped toys, books, crayons, and other art supplies. Leila spent ten minutes redoing the bed and agonizing over the placement of a butterfly as big as one wall.

“Relax, baby. It will be fine. I swear.”

I hear his whispered assurances, and I wish they made me feel better because I do trust him, but the truth is that I don’t. Our talk this morning drove home to me exactly how important this is.

If I lose Tammy, she’ll grow up the same way I did, with nothing but me in the background like Gran was and a mother who doesn’t really care. I may not have wanted a kid and all the responsibility that goes along with it, but that’s moot right now.

Tam needs me, and I have to suck it up and be what she needs me to be. If I get her, I think, shaking inside at the thought of Ally and that drug-dealing, criminal-minded Xavier.

I could kill them both. I mean…no one would blame me, would they…

“Well, this place is wonderful, and I commend you both for the responsibility you are willing to take on with Tammy Lee. I’ll get this recommendation in right away and make a few calls to speed things up, but I don’t see any reason that the judge would refuse your request for temporary custody.”

Mrs. Halston’s cheery assurances lift the weight finally, and I smile at her, taking her hand in thanks.

“You have been so sweet and helpful, and I can’t thank you enough, ma’am.”

She gives me a tender look, but I see the seriousness in her expression before she sighs and shakes her head.

“I can’t promise you anything, Teeny, but I will do everything I can to give you time. I don’t want Tammy going to Ally either. We went over to her apartment and got some photos of the living conditions before she could do anything about it, so we have that as evidence. Mrs. Cane has also agreed to testify if need be, and the other neighbors in the building have all supplied statements attesting to the fact that Ally leaves Tammy Lee regularly.”

“And this whole custody thing…”

“Is not as simple. We have to apply for temporary custody now and then later decide if you want to try for full custody with visitations or adoption. I’d recommend the adoption because it’s harder for them to fight later on, but that’s all in the future. For now, I’ll get my reports in and try to get everything through fast. Tammy’s being discharged in a day or two, and I don’t want her going into a temporary shelter or home while we wait. That girl has been through enough in her short life already.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Halston,” Lynx says, walking her and her colleagues out while I lower myself to the couch, praying that things go to plan.

I read a lot over the web while Lynx got showered and changed, and I’m terrified by all the laws and regulations surrounding child welfare. I never knew that all it took for some scum to get their kids back was a few coats of paint on the walls and a show of remorse.

But I read two cases where a prostitute and a drug addict got their kids back just by complying with state-funded programs and saying all the right things.

It broke my heart when I saw a newspaper article about the little boy who went back to his mom, the junkie, and almost wept when I saw that he’d been found dead in a rundown apartment after he got into his mother’s drugs and OD’d. He was seven.

I may not want to be a mom, but God help me I won’t let anything like that happen to Tammy. I love her enough to push aside my own needs, and part of me is glad that she will be mine.

I can save her from the life I know she’ll have with Ally, and for that, I won’t ever regret anything I do after.

“Well, that went well.”

I snort and lean back on the sofa, closing my eyes against a sense of impending doom.

“She’s not making any guarantees.”

“No, but she’s on our side, which gives us the advantage.”

“What if that judge doesn’t agree? What if he gives her back to Ally?”

Lynx comes to sit by me, not touching, just close enough to provide me with comfort, and looks down at me with a frown.

“We won’t let that happen, Teeny. If worst comes to worst, Bear and Wolf have already scoped out possible locations where they’ll take Tammy. Getting her out won’t be a problem, and we’ve got safe houses all over the country.”

His meaning is clear, and I still, looking back at him in shock and no small amount of love. Is he really saying that they’ll help me and Tammy disappear?

The thought has me stilling, my chest aching because I know that if that happens I will never see Lynx Wylder again. It hurts, a lot, and I feel my eyes burn knowing that I will have to make a choice and that, in essence, it’s already made.

I choose Tammy. Always.

But it sucks to think that I could have to run and that a man I love, the man I love, could be lost to me forever.

“You would do that for me? Break the law?”

Lynx chuckles and chucks my chin, his eyes twinkling with a mirth and sadness that isn’t lost on me just because he’s trying to tease me.

“Teeny, honey, you know me and my brothers were the equivalent of criminals not too long ago. One little kidnapping is nothing to guys like us.”

I appreciate his attempt at levity and smile because I know he needs me to, even chuckling when he pokes my ribs and tries to tickle me.

“I don’t want to leave. You are my friends, and I want to stay here and visit the crazy Wylders and have your mom come over and spoil Tammy. I don’t want to leave you, Lynx, because even if we’re just friends down the road, you mean something to me,” I say softly, wincing when he looks away and sighs.

I know it’s hard for him to hear me say stuff like that. I get it, but just because he doesn’t like hearing it doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to. That’s the one thing I learned about him over the last few days.

He doesn’t want commitment, but I have never met a man who needs love as much as Lynx Wylder does. He jokes when he feels sad and growls all the time and gives everyone the impression that life’s a peach.

And he’s the loneliest man I have ever known because he lets no one close just in case they want more than what he’s capable of giving. Just this once, with me, I want him to get what he needs with the promise that I want nothing from him but his friendship because he’s worth so much more to me.

I’d rather have just a piece of him than nothing at all, and that may be pathetic, but I don’t care. I haven’t had many people to love in my life, but I know without a shadow of doubt that Lynx is the one love I will never forget. Or regret.

“I don’t want you to go either, so let’s promise that we’ll be positive and hope for a good outcome.”

I smile and let him take my hand even as my heart breaks a little because it’s exactly the answer I expected and not the one I was hoping for.

“Promise.”

“Now, come on, and let’s go see the imp. If I know my mom, and I do know that old broad, she’ll already be there driving the nursing staff crazy.”

“Let’s go.”

We drive over to the hospital in silence, my hand in his because he seems to need to touch me constantly, and besides, I like it. We don’t talk, but I don’t want to anyway because I’m all in my head, planning outcomes and trying not to think of the best plan B because it hurts to think of leaving.

I want to stay in my little house beside Lynx’s and see him every day, even if it’s only a wave in greeting or a talk from our back porches. I want him to see Tammy grow up and teach her to swim. I want to see him, and even if one day I have to watch him with another woman, I’ll find a way to be okay because, like I said, a piece is better than nothing.

This sucks. I should have listened to my mind and told my heart to screw off when it started making love flutters for Lynx Wylder. I should have grabbed Tammy yesterday before I let myself know that I feel love and run like hell.

I should have stayed in my own backyard with Elliot and not gotten into that damn swimming pool because everything else aside, Tam, Ally, everything, I suspect that meeting Lynx was the worst possible outcome of a life that’s been miserable thus far.

And now I get what Gran meant when she said you can’t miss what you never had. I wouldn’t feel this wrenching ache in my chest right now and force myself to be happy-go-lucky. I wouldn’t have to pretend that all I want from Lynx is some friendship, good sex, and no promises.

I want those things because, to me, loving, truly loving someone, is a freedom all on its own. I just wish I could tell him that and not have to hide the fact that I love him.

“There you are!”

I hear Rain’s voice and look up just before we enter the hospital room where Tam’s sitting on her little cot bed, holding court over a smiling Danny and a chuckling Lori. Leila’s off to the side talking to a younger woman who looks just like her but is at least five pounds lighter in the hips and ass.

They’re sisters. It’s clear as day, and the way they look at each other and touch so easily makes me hurt worse. I will never have that with Ally. The truth is that if I see her face to face, I don’t think she’ll walk away intact and without a lasting injury.

“Hey, Ma. Look, I’m just dropping in to see the Tamster, and then I gotta split. I have to get to work before Pop has me hunted down and killed. You okay to take Teeny home after?” he asks, going over to pick Tam up for a hug and a kiss to her hair.

“Hey, nugget, you feeling well enough to go to the rodeo?”

“Yips. Gamma Wain saided I going home ‘morrow. Wiff Momma ow Teeny?”

Her question makes my blood freeze, and I hold my breath while Lynx explains that we’re hoping that she’ll come with us since we love her a lot and want her to stay with us for a bit.

“No Momma?” she asks, looking at me and holding out her arms to me.

I take her and breathe her in, hugging her to me as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Telling a two-year-old that her mom’s an asshole isn’t right, but she’s not stupid either, and she’ll know something’s up by now.

“Nope. Sorry, kid.”

“‘Kay, can I haves a dolly? I wants my own dolly wiff a bottew and diapews for peepee.”

Oh, this kid. She’s so easy because she’s bribable. That may sound terrible to say, but I love that I can get away with stuff just by distracting her with all the things she doesn’t have and wants. Parenting 101. Use anything at your disposal to keep them from killing you in your sleep.

“Yep. I think I have the one Gran saved from when I was little. Her name was Jesse, and she has her very own crib and a lot of clothes and blankets too. That okay?” I ask, chucking her chin.

“‘Kay.”

She wiggles after she gets what she wants, and I let her back down on the bed, sharing a smile with Lynx when she goes back to gabbing with Rain, her unintelligible babbling lost on me though I see Rain nodding and answering her as if she understands every word.

“You okay to go with Ma and the girls?”

“Perfect. Go to work, Wylder. I’m all grown up now, and I can get home under my own steam if need be,” I laugh, blushing when he pulls me into his chest and kisses me stupid right there in front of his mom.

“Watch this one, Ma. She’s a handful.” He smirks, getting a sniff out of me at the double speak when he glances at my boobs.

Damn man is incorrigible.

“Go away, pig. We women want to gossip,” Lori laughs, waving him off.

Lynx leaves with a wave, and I turn to see five sets of eyes pinned on me, the curiosity evident when I blush harder and start shifting nervously.

No one says a thing, and I think I’m in the clear, at least on the question-answer front, until Tam spoils the whole thing.

“Is Lyzz your bowfwend, Teeny? Coz he touchted your butt,” she asks innocently, making us all freeze before we all just start laughing.

I clear my throat, very aware that they’re all watching me, and stammer out a no, while blushing so hard I cover my cheeks to cool them.

“Momma gots lotsa bowfwends and she kisseded tem too.”

Oh God, Tammy Lee, you little rascal.

“I think Aunt Teeny and Lynx are friends, Tammy, and that Lynx just, er, touched her butt by mistake,” Rain stutters, struggling not to laugh because I can’t say a word, just stand there with big eyes and a hot face.

“Buts he kisseded hew too.”

“Er, well, yeah, but friends do kiss,” she says, pecking her cheek softly. “See? I’m your friend, and see?” She kisses Lori’s hair. “Lori and Gamma are friends too.”

“‘Kay.”

I should kiss Rain Wylder, and that girl crush I have on her turns to pure love when she shoves a teddy bear at Tammy, who squeals and quickly loses interest in me. Big love. Massive love, I think when she grins at me and winks.

“Parenting is easy if you keep them alive and too busy to kill you before you get them out of the house.”

We laugh at that, and I feel a bit better as I join them and we all play with Tammy, the center of my world right now and the one thing I have that I can’t lose.

********************************************************************

“No, no, no! Don’t try to hide your ass when you sink down, Teeny. Shove that butt out as far as you can. Good. Now rise slowly, and keep looking at me. Good. More seduction in those eyes, woman.”

I giggle and try not to fall on my face as Lori barks orders at us all and walks around the gym like a drill sergeant, her tight vest emphasizing her little belly, while Danny cheers us on from the sidelines.

I did not end up going home to Lynx’s place or even my own after Tammy ate lunch and fell asleep. Nope, the Wylder women are all just as wild as their men, and before I could blink, we were at Lori’s house and in the gym where she had Wolf install poles and a mirrored wall.

I am currently learning the art of exotic dancing while trying not to laugh or die of embarrassment when Lori slaps her hands on my ass and starts twisting my hips in a slow, sensual glide that imitates sex.

“You have to make him want you so much he’ll explode when you finally touch him. Trust me on this, ladies, men love this stuff. Wolf went nuts the first time I did it, and he installed a pole upstairs the next day.

I expect Rain to be sickened by this information, but she just cackles and does a downward grind that puts us all to shame.

“I can’t do this,” I gasp, horrified by my lack of rhythm and the way my ass seems to do the exact opposite of what I tell it to do.

If I did this for Lynx, he’d probably laugh me out of the room. Or run himself.

“Stop being a baby, and shake that ass, Teeny! Good. Now lower down slowly, and open those pins around the pole. Niiiice, hold there and lean back. Shake your hair out and…yes! Good,” she crows when the action has my crotch gyrating.

This shit is a full workout. I shit you not, and by the time the stripper Nazi is satisfied, I’m lying on the mat, wheezing beside Rain, Leila, and Mika, butt muscles burning from fatigue.

If nothing else, I just got myself a free workout, and I know that I could so do this at home if I get my own pole.

“Oh God, I think I tore my crotch,” Mika groans, holding the area as she rolls over and glares at Lori, who’s sitting pretty and sharing a tub of ice cream with Danny.

“Stop being such a baby. You can dance for that guy you’re seeing, what his face. John, Joe?” she laughs, getting a finger when Mika mutters a curse.

“I’m not seeing him anymore.”

“Why not? I thought things were going good with you and Joe. He took you to that music festival a few weeks ago.”

“Yeah and then tried to do me in a tent the size of a freaking shoe box. Honest to God, I don’t even know why I bother with men anymore. They all suck.”

“And it can be so good if they do it right,” Leila laughs, making us groan and giggle when Rain gags.

“Yuck.”

“Oh, come on, Rainy. You know how bad those sons of yours can be. Especially Lyon. That man is tireless.”

Rain surprises me by laughing too and then makes me look at Al in a different light when she sighs dreamily and informs us they got it from their dad. Yikes. But good to know. You know, if I was going to hold onto dreams of being with Lynx when he’s old.

There’s a lot to be said for a guy who still finds his wife sexy no matter how old they get. But I am so not thinking of Lynx when he’s old and all silver fox sexy. Nope. Not even if the image is strangely hot.

“So, Joe?” Lori pushes, smiling when Mika snarls.

“Is gone. I kicked his ass to the curb last week, and no, I don’t want a redo. He behaves like a teenager and doesn’t think it’s gross when he touches my boobs in public.”

“Ewwwww!” we all moan, pulling faces at the thought.

Lynx might kiss me and cop a feel of the old heiny, but he’d die a slow, painful death if he grabbed nip in a public setting, and I think he knows that. Respect, man. All it requires is a little respect.

“Yeah. So, it’s just me ‘n Vincenzo now.”

“Vincenzo?” I ask.

“Her vibrator,” Leila laughs, making us all pause before I laugh so hard I have to hold my bladder or soil myself.

“What’s up with you and Lynx?”

Oh God, Lori. Honestly, the woman has no filter and even less compassion for a person’s privacy.

“We’re friends.”

“Really? Because I have a pal named Frankie who lives two streets down and he never gives me tongue when we kiss,” Mika supplies helpfully, making me cringe and throw her a filthy look.

“That’s sad, Mika. You should rethink your friends,” I quip.

“Oh you! Come on. What’s going on with you and the youngest trip? Are you getting all close and doing stuff?”

I blush because if by stuff she means having sex for hours and doing things that I can’t even tell my priest, but should repent for, then, yeah, we’re doing stuff.

“Leave her alone,” Rain says, giving me a wink. “Nothing wrong with a woman enjoying her sexuality with a man who will treat her with respect and friendship.”

Oh boy, do I disagree, I think, laughing when they turn on Mika again and she ends up giving us a blow by blow of her one night with Joe, who did not understand the basic rules of female anatomy.

It’s while she’s describing his pleas for some backdoor loving and showing us exactly what she did to his balls that the men stroll in. Lynx is laughing so hard he can’t kiss me properly when he lifts me with ease.

Even Al is laughing. It’s only Hawk who doesn’t seem at all impressed, and I notice Mika blushing and giving him a look before Lynx smooches me silly and throws me over his shoulder.

“We need a pole,” he mutters after I’ve yelled goodbye and he’s carrying me out to the truck.

“We have a pole,” I croon, giggling when he slaps my butt and cops a feel of my sweaty crotch in the black tights Lori gave me to work out in.

“That we do, woman, and I’ll let you play on it anytime you want. Full-body workout,” he says suggestively, making me shiver all over.

I’m still giggling when we pull away from Lori’s place, and trust me, I show him exactly why his pole is all we need in the bedroom later that night.