The smell of stale beer assaults my nostrils as soon as I step inside Dusty’s bar. Looking at the crowd, I make my way over to a booth by the pool table in the back corner where Ryan, Beau, Simon, and some other work buddies from St. Margaret’s are shooting the shit. Raucous laughter and the sounds of a football game set my scattered thoughts spinning as I duck and weave around a drunk couple getting a little too hot and heavy as they stumble around near the jukebox.
“Well, look who decided to show up!” Beau sings, beer splashing from his tumbler as he spreads his arms theatrically.
I’m greeted by pats on the back and teasing jabs about finally being let out to play. Little do they know I’d much rather be with Liv any day of the week than out drinking. Especially with my moods swinging from happy to angry every god damn five minutes since Zeke came crawling back to town.
As it is, I’m only here because of one reason, and I won’t be staying long.
“Happy birthday, man.” I return Ryan’s pat on the back. “How old are you now, forty-three?”
He laughs, punching me in the arm. “Get fucked, Mathews. You’re the grandpa of the group.”
“Twenty-seven is old, huh?”
“Fuck yes, it is,” Beau interjects
“Hey! I’m twenty-nine, fuckers.” Simon’s face screws up in outrage.
“Yeah, but you don’t count, seeing as you still live at home with your mama.” Ryan snickers
We all laugh as Simon curses our asses out. “Don’t even know why I hang out with you dicks.”
“Because you’ve got no other friends, dude. Quit while you’re ahead, yeah?” Beau heads over to the now empty pool table as Simon stares daggers into his back.
“Man, chill. They’re just fucking around with you. Even if it is mostly true.” I shrug.
He shakes his head before tipping the rest of his beer down his throat.
“So where’s Liv? How’s little chubs doin’? Beau asks, racking up the balls in the center of the table.
“Good.” I can’t help but smile. Rose is the cutest baby I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I’m not just saying that because she feels like mine. Her rosy cheeks, brown hair, long lashes, and pink heart-shaped mouth make her a spitting image of her mother. Absolutely perfect.
“Heard Z rocked up unannounced the other day.” Beau watches for my reaction.
He gets one when I feel my jaw and both fists clench at the memory. “Yep, he sure fucking did.”
Ryan laughs. “Oh, holy fuck. Did he walk in on something?”
I don’t answer, which is answer enough for them as they all guffaw. I scowl at Ryan, who’s biting on a clenched fist as he stares at me with wide, amused eyes.
“Real funny, douchebags,” I mutter
“That’s so fucked up, man.” Simon looks over at me, clearly imagining how well that shit would’ve gone down. I’m actually surprised that nothing much did. With his impeccable timing, he knew exactly what he walked in on us finishing. I think Zeke has more cards up his sleeve than Liv and I give him credit for. He’s behaving and trying to keep his nose clean. Well, as far as she can probably tell anyway.
“I’m gonna get a drink. I’ll get the next round.” I turn around and navigate my way back through the crowd to the packed bar.
“Heyyy, handsome.” I turn to see a halo of curly blond hair and Misty, one of Kiera’s friends. “Wanna dance?” She bites her lip as her hand lands on my bicep. I clear my throat, not wanting to be a dick but knowing I need to shut this shit down. “I’m good, thanks though.”
I step forward when the person in front of me leaves with their drinks, causing her hand to drift down my arm as she loses her grip and the ability to stand next to me, thanks to the people now standing on either side of me. That doesn’t stop her, though. I tense all over as her hands run up my back after I give the bartender my order.
“Not even going to offer me a drink?” she purrs, tilting her head around my shoulder. I frown down at her as she bats her chunky lashes.
Feeling more pissed by the second, I simply respond with a firm, “No.”
She pouts, and I turn away, wishing the bartender would hurry it up so I could get the fuck away from her.
“Come on; you don’t have to buy me a drink to dance with me.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “Or even take me home.”
I choke, coughing at her desperation and blatant disregard for the word no.
I glare down at her. “You’re kidding me, right?” I quirk a brow.
Her face screws up in confusion. “Now, why would I joke about something like that?” she purrs again.
I pretend to think about it before answering. “Because I’m taken, and you damn well know it—”
“Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?” The sound of Zeke’s voice cuts me off.
“Z!” Misty squeals, her made-up face lighting up like a disco ball.
“Beat it, Mist. Me and Sebastian here have business to discuss.”
She grins at him and does exactly as he says, scampering back to wherever the hell she came from. Of fucking course, she does.
The bartender places our drinks down, and I hand him some cash. “Keep the change.” I grab the tray of drinks, intent on taking them back to the boys and getting the hell out of here before I lose my cool, but Zeke halts me with a heavy hand on my shoulder as I’m passing a nearby table. I place the drinks down, knowing we’re not exactly about to have a friendly conversation.
I shrug his hand off and spin around to glare into his smug face. “The fuck do you want, Zeke?” The tone of my voice is scathing even to my own ears. God, just looking at him gets my blood simmering as my emotions climb to the surface, wanting to let all hell break lose and pulverize him into next week. So I start counting backward from ten, trying to calm down.
“Naw, is that any way to talk to your woman’s baby daddy?” He smirks as my anger levels rise. He shakes his head. “In all seriousness though, I just want to have a chat. You know, man to man and all that good shit.”
I blow out a heavy breath, wondering if I should humor him or simply walk away. I wait, knowing instantly I should’ve gone with the second option.
He shrugs. “I’ll just cut to the chase then, shall I? You’re on borrowed time, man. Let’s face it. Liv and I have the kind of history you couldn’t even dream of competing with. It’s only a matter of time before she forgives me and your ass is kicked to the curb.” He folds his bulky arms over his muscular chest. “So what I wanna know is why the fuck aren’t you gone yet? I mean who in their right mind would willingly hang around, knowing that their chick is gonna dump their ass?” He laughs with clear disbelief as if I’m stupid. As if I’ve got a few screws loose for falling in love with Liv. He should know better than anyone that you can’t just let someone like her go. Shit, I still can’t wrap my brain around why the fuck he tried to in the first place. But then again, I’m the dumbass here. I’d roll my eyes if it didn’t make me look like a pussy. The very last thing I should do in front of the likes of him.
“You done?” I ask with a calm that surprises the shit out of me.
It must surprise him, too. He frowns before taking a step forward and trying to go for the jugular once more. “Look, dude, I get it. She’s fucking beautiful, inside and out. Everything a man wants in a woman. But she’s not yours to keep. She’s always been mine. Everyone knows it. I’m just biding my time until she remembers that.”
My jaw clenches as he studies my face, knowing he’s hitting his mark. “Come on, think of Rose. I know you probably care about her. And hey, thanks for that. I’m not that much of an asshole that I can’t appreciate you stepping in and being there for her while I was taking my time getting my head out of my ass. But I made a mistake, I fucked up, and I’m here to right my wrongs. And you’re kind of in the way of me doing that. Rose needs her dad, a real family unit. Not this fucked-up trio of bullshit all because you fell for the wrong chick when she wasn’t yours to have, and now you’re too damn proud to let go.”
It doesn’t matter that the words that just left his mouth strike me with blunt force straight to the chest. If he thinks I’m just going to back down and just let him take what’s mine, what he decided to leave behind and doesn’t deserve anymore, then he’s got another thing coming.
I step forward and get right up in the fucker’s face. “You think that’s it, huh? You think I’m just too fucking proud to walk away?” I seethe. “I fucking love both of those girls with everything that I am, everything I have within me. Everything I do, I do thinking about them. That’s more than I can say for you, asswipe. So what I wanna know is was Liv the one you wanted while you were busy fucking your way through Crestal Lake?”
He growls. “You don’t know shit.” He moves even closer until we’re practically nose to nose. “I hope you remember your good guy bullshit when you’re climbing between my girl’s sweet as fuck legs, all the while remembering who was there first. Remembering who tasted her first. Every touch, lick, kiss, and fuck was mine first and don’t you fucking forget it, Sebastian,” he snarls.
My hands are shoving him as soon as his last words reach my ears, my fists getting ready to rain down on his face when I’m grabbed from behind and hauled backward. Beau stands between us with an arm outstretched as he pushes Zeke back.
“Fuck me, can’t leave you two unattended for one god damned minute,” Ryan mutters as he lets me go.
Zeke grins. “We were just having a friendly little chitchat, weren’t we, man?” He eyes me with a menace his voice easily disguises.
I stare back, hatred and blind fury wracking every inch of my body. I need to get out of here before I tackle his ass to the ground again.
I turn to Ryan, clapping him on the back. “I’m out, sorry, man. Happy birthday.”
“Dude, we didn’t invite him. I mean he’s our friend, but we wouldn’t do that shit to you,” he whispers urgently. “We had no idea he’d show up tonight.”
I don’t bother whispering. “It’s all good, seriously. I was only planning on having one drink anyway. Liv’s expecting me over soon.” I turn to Beau and the rest of the guys, ignoring Zeke’s jealous rage that I know he’s directing at me.
Fuck him. I hope he chokes on his own fuck-ups and self-inflicted misery.
“Later, guys.”
“Tell Liv that one of these nights you’re staying out for once! Pussy-whipped motherfucker,” Beau calls out. I smirk and continue walking toward the doors, flipping him off over my shoulder as I go.
Pulling into Liv’s driveway, I sit for a minute, knowing I need to try to get control of this anger and uncertainty. Despite knowing Zeke is full of his own shit, some of that shit held some merit that I’m trying desperately not to think about. I can’t help it, though. Broken families that can be fixed deserve that chance, right? There’s just one problem with that—two actually. He doesn’t deserve the chance, and I love Liv and Rose too fucking much just to hand them over. Like what they want doesn’t matter. Yeah, Rose might not even remember me years from now if I walked away, but I choose to believe that she needs me because God knows I need her.
And Liv … Christ. I drop my head forward to the steering wheel. She’s made it crystal fucking clear how she feels about it all. But maybe what he says is true; maybe I am in the way of her figuring out exactly how she feels about him now.
My head jerks up at the sound of tapping on my window. Liv stands there, the wind blowing her long hair around as her green eyes zero in on me. Confusion and worry tug at her light brown brows.
Shit. I let out a sigh and open the door as she steps back. Climbing out, I close it and lean back against it, tucking my hands into my pockets. “Rose asleep?”
She nods. “What’s wrong? Weren’t you having a drink with Ryan and the guys for his birthday?”
I look at her for a moment and know there’s no getting around it. I take her hand and lead us up to the front porch. We take a seat on the rocking chairs, and I tell her, “Zeke showed up.”
I hear the breath whoosh out of her from where I’m sitting.
“What? But … they wouldn’t have told him to come, knowing you’d be there.”
I shake my head, reclining back in the chair. “They didn’t; he just showed up. I don’t even know if he knew we were all hanging out there.”
Her gaze rakes over my features, searching for injuries I’m guessing.
“So what happened?”
I run a hand through my hair. “Liv, it’s—”
“What happened?” she cuts me off, her voice firmer.
I stare off into the front yard, wondering exactly how much I should tell her. “He said some shit. I said some shit. It got … We said stuff to rile each other up pretty bad. The guys broke it up before it could get physical, though.”
“The bruising on your face has only just started to fade.” She sighs. “How many fight victims are you called out to at work?”
“Liv, come on. The guy drives me fucking insane in a whole damn variety of ways. I know I shouldn’t, but fuck. The thought of him with you, near you, just hearing your name from his mouth makes me see red, and I can’t fucking seem to switch it off when he’s around.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees to bury my head in my hands. “I’m sorry, okay? I know it’s dumb. I’ve patched up hundreds of idiots after they got into it. Some were so serious …” I pause as visions of guys in comas from sucker punches or hitting the ground so damn hard that not much can be done for them race through my mind.
“I’m sorry,” I finish.
Her chair creaks as she gets up, her bare feet stopping in front of my booted ones. Her fingers delve into my hair as she steps even closer, and I wrap my arms around her waist, resting my head on her stomach.
“You don’t seem to get it yet, do you?” she murmurs softly. “I need you, Seb. Like the very air we breathe. If something were to happen to you …” My arms constrict around her, and I pull her onto my lap sideways, burying my head in her neck. Inhaling, I instantly feel my tense muscles start to relax. “I’m fine,” I lie.
She scoffs. “For now. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I know Zeke.” And she’d be right; my teeth clench together as my head rears back. “Hey.” She smooths her finger down the crease between my brows, and they relax at the touch. “Don’t look at me like that; I know what he’s like, okay? He’s always been hotheaded. You have to stop letting him provoke you. I know.” She holds up a hand. “I’ve seen that you’re quite capable of handling yourself. But y’all need to stop this before someone seriously gets hurt. Please.” Her eyes glass over as she stares at me, and fuck, I can’t deny this woman anything.
“I’ll try, okay? This is just … It’s not exactly easy, Liv.”
“I know, but you have me, and I have you. We’ll get through it, right?” Her eyes search mine, her voice filled with a hope I’m not entirely feeling. But I nod my head, not able to use my mouth to outright lie to her about how conflicted I feel about all this shit now.
I grasp her chin and pull her lips to mine, kissing her softly and giving her an undeniable truth. “I love you. You know that, right?”
The smile she gives me could light up the night sky we’re sitting under. She nods, breathing the words back into my mouth, my heart, and my fucking soul. “I love you, too, Sebastian.”
I tuck her head into my neck as we both stare out at the dark sky, broken up by only a sprinkling of glittering stars.
“Seb?” Her tone is curious. “Why can I smell nasty perfume on your shirt?”
I laugh and proceed to tell her about Misty and her wandering fingers.