If Liv thinks I’m going to give up that easy, she has another thing coming. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s wearing my heart on my sleeve when it comes to her. She knows how I feel and that deep down she can trust me, so I’ll let her be for a bit. I won’t be waiting too fucking long, though; I’ll give her time to calm down and think things over before trying to barge my way back in. Zeke being around doesn’t exactly help matters, but the fact that nothing else has happened with them and that she’s upset with me—well, as bad as this sounds—definitely helps. Even if I do feel like a scumbag for putting the mask of heartbreak over that beautiful face of hers all over again.
I grab my bag from my locker in the staffroom at the hospital and make my way to the cafeteria. Standing in line, I hear my name being called. I turn to see Millie. Fuck. I give her a nervous smile, hoping she’s not gonna turn into a pit bull. But all she does is simply poke me in the chest.
“You have some explaining to do, mister! Get your shit; we’re gonna talk,” she says with anger lacing her voice. Okay, here we go.
I turn back toward the counter, order my coffee, and move along to stand down by the other end to wait for it. All the while, Millie sits at a nearby table, giving me her death glare. Feeling like I’m about to walk to my execution, I rub the back of my neck as my nerves set in. I get that she’s disappointed in me; okay, maybe disappointed is the wrong word. She’s probably pissed as hell. I didn’t know this shit would happen, though. I didn’t know that Zeke would try to fuck things up as royally as he did. What I did know was that I needed time. She has to understand that, and Liv, too … I hope.
My name being called has me picking up my coffee before joining Millie at the table. I let my bag fall to the floor and place my cup on the table. Averting my eyes, I try to look at a fascinating speck of peeling paint on the wall.
She clicks her fingers right in front of my face. “Spill.”
Jesus. “Hi to you, too, Mil.”
“Seb, seriously? Okay, let’s just get straight to the point, shall we?” Her brow rises. “Tell me why the hell you up and left my girls right when they needed you the most? Right when Zeke comes back into the picture, and everyone is a mess of freaking confusion? And it’d better be good because my palm’s itching to connect with your cheek, like badly.”
Jesus Christ. My eyes widen, and I rear back in my seat a bit.
“I don’t know exactly what you’ve been told, but it’s complicated.”
“Liv told me. About Zeke laying one on her? Yeah.” She nods and waves her hand for me to continue.
Well, shit.
I blow out a breath then tell her about Lorelei being born a month early and needing the space.
Feeling remorseful for my actions is something I’ve tried to deal with since being away. Mom gave me so much shit for it; I was wallowing in self-pity on a daily basis when I should’ve either been happy to see my niece or I should have just come home. Some days, I had nothing but time to keep me busy, but there were also days when Mom and Dad didn’t let me get away with being miserable. Dad even made me clean out the shed with him. He’s such a hoarder when it comes to his car shit.
“I get it, Seb, that you needed to be there for your family, and I’m glad everything is okay. But with the other shit … honestly, when Liv told me what happened, I wanted to junk punch Zeke—which I did—but then I wanted to do the same to you.” She lowers her voice. “You should know by now, with everything that she’s been through, that if that girl says she loves you, she damn well means it. Yeah, you should have stayed and heard Liv out because it wasn’t as bad as it looked. I believe her when she says that, and I think you should’ve, too,” Millie says as she looks at me apologetically.
She then smirks and scratches at her arm. “So basically, I think you’re an idiot. And I still want to slap you.”
I laugh, raising my hands in surrender. “Okay, damn. And I know … I know how she feels. My head was just clouded with doubts. When someone comes along and threatens everything that’s important to you, that shit’s gonna happen.”
She frowns. “So you just leave? Admit defeat?”
I shake my head. “No. Fuck. No way. It wasn’t like that. I was trying to hang in there, and I wasn’t going down without a fight. Seeing that, though? Well, it fucking gutted me.” I shrug and look down at my coffee.
“Okay, fair enough. But you’re back, and there is no game. She’s still yours … Are you going to do something about that or what?”
“I’m not giving up, but she said she doesn’t trust me, so I’m just gonna have to prove to her that she can.” I twirl my coffee cup in my hands, feeling a stab in my chest at the thought of her really feeling that way. “I know I fucked up, but I’m not Zeke, damn it.”
I’m nothing like him even though I did leave her. It wasn’t the same or even on the same level, but Liv’s heart can only take so much, and I get that. Just when I’d helped her overcome all the shit he did to her, I go and fuck it all up.
“Who are you trying to convince?” Millie questions.
“I honestly don’t know anymore.” Taking a gulp of my now lukewarm coffee, I get up from my chair and grab my bag.
“I’m out of here, so I’ll see you ‘round, Mil.”
She stands up across from me and studies me quietly. I pause as she huffs out a breath and opens her mouth to talk then shuts it almost immediately, obviously to stop herself from saying something she doesn’t know if she should.
My stomach churns. “What?”
“Oh, stuff it … She misses you. Just call her or go see her. I can’t deal with her miserable ass anymore. I’ve put up with it for a week and a half too long then for months after what Zeke did. I’m begging you—fix it, fix her,” Millie pleads as she holds her hands in a prayer position in front of her chest.
My shoulders shake from silent laughter. “That’s the plan, but I’ll see what I can do.”
I can’t promise anything, but I can promise that I have no intentions of giving up.
“You’d better.” She looks down at her phone, and her eyes widen.
“Shit. Jenny is going to ream my ass. I’m so late for my shift. See ya.” She runs from the cafeteria and disappears down the corridor.
Pulling my bag farther up onto my shoulder, I take my coffee and head to the exit. Once inside my truck, I close the door and toss my bag across the seat then think better of it and pull it back toward me to dig my phone out of the front pocket. Looking at the screen, I see a missed call and a text from my brother.
Dan: How’s the reunion going? Had to grovel yet?
Fucking hell. Despite shit not going very well, I chuckle and shoot him back a quick text.
Me: Fuck off.
The three little dots pop up to show that Dan is replying, so I wait. He’s so damn slow, though, I could be waiting a while.
Dan: Seriously, how did it go? Sienna and Lorelei were released from the hospital a few hours ago, and all is well. Thought you’d wanna know.
Me: That’s great. Happy for you all, send my love to the girls.
Dan: Avoidance, eh?
Whatever. He can call it what he wants. I’m keeping quiet because I don’t need Dan running back to Mom with gossip. That, I’m not ready for yet. She’ll wonder if she raised me the right way then probably steal Liv’s number from somewhere and beg her to take me back. No thanks.
After that little chat with Millie, I know that I need to speak with Liv. I already knew that, but fuck, I really wanted to give her more time. And myself more time. I’m willing to admit that I have zero ideas about how I’m going to fix this. But I fucked up; it’s that simple. I can’t excuse myself from that and call it a misunderstanding or a disagreement. Because not a hell of a lot of couples would just up and leave without so much as a text or phone call or trying to work it out.
Now, well, the only two men she’s ever loved have abandoned her in the most fucked up of ways.
Damn it. I need her to believe this will never happen again. That I will never leave her again ever. That she knows me; she can trust me.
I just need to figure out how.
Sitting on the end of my bed after a shower with my phone in hand, I play a round of Solitaire. No matter how many times I play this game now, it just reminds me of the first time I met Liv. I know I’m procrastinating, but fuck, males get just as nervous as females when they’re putting their hearts out there. Sighing, I finally exit the game and go to my text messages. I should just send her a text, see how she is, but that would garner me a one-word response. Or worse, none at all.
Yeah, no.
I scroll through to my contacts and pull up her number. I stare at it a moment then before I lose the courage, I hit call.
It goes to voicemail. Shit, just hearing her voice has my nerves standing on end and my cock twitching. Pressing end, I swallow the emotion down and flop backward onto my bed.
Stewing over it isn’t going to do me any good. I have to do something. Rising from my bed, I nab my keys from the bedside table and head for the door.
If she won’t answer my call, there’s only one other thing to do.