“Hello?” I place the phone between my shoulder and ear as I pick up a grumpy Rose. Cradling her to my chest, I rock her which, thankfully helps her settle.
“Liv!” Millie all but screams. “What in the fresh hell is going on? Apparently, the whole town’s up in arms over the news of fucking Zeke returning, which I’ll get to in a minute. Hang on.” I wait as she snaps at someone in the background. “This is an emergency, okay? Give me a freaking break, sheesh.” I hear a door closing on her end of the line as I go take a seat on the couch, letting Rose lie on my legs and gaze up at me.
“Okay, back. Why haven’t you called me? I had to find out from overhearing three different random conversations. One at The Shed and two as I was getting to work. Dude!” she hisses. “So not cool. If I could reach through the phone and nipple cripple you, I’d totally have done it by now.”
A laugh escapes before I quickly sober. “It only just happened yesterday. I’ve barely even had time to process it myself. He and Seb got into it as soon as he showed up at my door.” I sit back and place my hand on Rose’s belly as I stare up at the ceiling, looking for answers and guidance from the off-white paint.
“No way,” she breathes. “They got into a fight?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Who threw the first punch?”
“Mil, focus, not important.”
She scoffs. “I beg to differ. I bet it was Seb. No, wait … it was Zeke, wasn’t it?” I can practically hear her drumming her fingers together with excitement.
“It was Seb,” I concede then go ahead and tell her all that happened, keeping my voice down on account of Seb being asleep in the bedroom.
“Oh, my God, Liv!” she whispers. “This is insane and what a dick. The fucker won’t know what hit him when I set my eyes on him for the first time in almost a freaking year.”
“Mil, come on,” I groan. “What the hell am I going to do?”
“Wait, you don’t still have feelings for the jerk, do you?”
If only it were that simple.
“No.” I sigh. “I mean … I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
She’s quiet before hissing at me, “You don’t think so? You don’t fucking think so? What in the hell is wrong with you, Liv? He’s a grade-a asshole who kicked your six-year relationship and pregnant ass to the curb before skipping town.”
She won’t understand, and I don’t know how to explain. What Zeke and I had, it was a first for me. He was my whole world. To have him uproot that world by leaving has left scars buried deep. And now that he’s back, it’s clear I’ll probably always care about him more than I should. Though it pales in comparison to how I feel about Seb.
“You have nothing to worry about, Mil. Zeke is, was a huge part of my life for such a long time. You know that.” I pat Rose’s tummy when she starts to get too fidgety. “I can’t just switch that off. He’ll always mean something to me. But you and I both know I’ve moved on, and I’m happy. I’m not about to throw that away. I may be naïve at times, but I’m not that stupid.”
She hums. “I get that, I really do. But just … really think about how this is all going to work. I mean Zeke is a hotheaded fucker, you know that. I doubt he’s going to just let you and Seb carry on playing happy family while he watches from the sidelines.”
I try to swallow down my confusion. After Seb had left for work last night, I tossed and turned until I finally fell into a restless sleep. Not believing all that had happened earlier that day—that Zeke’s really back in Ivy Falls. Anxiety plagues me as I try in vain to work out exactly what it is I’m supposed to do about it. I have no idea how this might all pan out, so I’ve settled on trying to take it one day at a time for now. I can’t and won’t keep Rose from Zeke if he wants to be a part of her life. But he’s going to have to learn there’s no going back for us, and I hope he’ll accept that.
Sighing, I shift Rose into the crook of my arm. “I know. It’s only just happened, though. It’s too hard to predict what’ll happen going forward.” I smooth some hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I won’t stop him from seeing Rose, but if he wants to see her, we’re going to have to talk and straighten a few things out first, I guess.” The thought of doing that has me feeling a little terrified.
She laughs. “You can say that again. Anyway, I gotta run. I’m kinda supposed to be working right now. I’ll give you a call later. Let me know if there’s an update.”
I laugh dryly—an update on all the new crazy that’s taken over my life in the past twenty-four hours. “Right. Will do.”
We hang up, and I go change Rose before putting her down for a nap. I’m walking down the hallway when I see a groggy Seb emerge, wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt he left here some nights ago. The bridge of his nose and underneath his eye colored a nasty shade of purple and red. I almost feel guilty, thinking about how hot he looks with the battle wounds. And the fact that he got them for me, for defending me, only makes them all the more sexier.
“Hey,” he croaks, voice husky with sleep.
I walk down the hallway to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his chest as I look up at him. “Hi, she just fell asleep. Speaking of, you look tired, why don’t you go back to bed for a little longer?”
He kisses my forehead before gently unwrapping my arms from around him and moving back into the room, talking as he goes. “Need a shower. I gotta head home in a little while. I have a shift this afternoon.”
I tell myself not to feel disappointed, but it doesn’t really work. I can’t help but feel a little bit unsettled by his reaction to Zeke’s return. I have no idea what I thought might happen if this day ever came; it’s something that barely even crossed my mind. But I know I can’t expect him to be happy about it. Hell, I don’t think that I’m even happy about it, but he seems to be struggling with it way more than I am.
Hopefully, with time, he’ll realize there’s nothing for him to worry about.
“Okay,” I say. “Coffee?”
He glances at me briefly over his shoulder as he’s heading into the en suite. “Sure, thanks.” The door closes, and I hear the shower start. And I just stand here, wondering why he’s not all over me while I’ve got a sleeping baby.
After the coffee is made, I take a seat at the counter and scroll mindlessly through my phone. It suddenly buzzes in my hand as a text comes through.
Zeke: We need to talk, Liv.
I stare at it for a minute, feeling Seb come up behind me and brush the hair back from my neck. Just as his lips start to skim the skin there, he rears back. “Is this the first time he’s sent you a text?”
My head snaps in his direction. “Yes, I would tell you if he had before now. He literally just sent it before you walked out.” I look back at the offending message. “I just don’t know what to do. What to even say …” I sigh.
He takes a seat beside me, bringing his coffee to his mouth and taking a few sips before speaking again.
“It’s up to you, Liv,” he says more to the mug than to me.
Okay, then. I exit out of the text, deciding to let it sit for a while until I can properly wrap my head around this situation and decide how to handle it. And I can’t do that with Seb’s clear unease and agitation filling every air particle in the room.
“This is … Well, it’s hard for me, and not just because he’s back. But more so because of how each decision I make might affect you. I don’t want you to worry about where my heart lies. You should already know the answer to that. But if he needs to talk—whether it be about him and me or just Rose—then I need to do that. I don’t want to do that, but I need you to trust me.” I look at him while he stares down into his mug.
“He wants you, Liv.” He finally turns that dark gaze to me. “You can’t tell me you don’t already know that?”
I did, sort of. I shrug. “What he wants and what he gets are two completely different things, Seb.” I arch a brow at him. I might be wrong, but he doesn’t seem to completely trust that Zeke won’t end up getting what he wants.
He nods and goes back to drinking his coffee.
God, what a mess.
A small part of me is glad that he came back because I honestly didn’t think he would. And that’s the part that cares a little more than it should. But I’m also glad for Rose. After not knowing a thing about my own biological father, I don’t want the same for her if I can avoid it. The other part of me, though? The bigger part that belongs wholeheartedly to the man seated next to me? Well, that part wants him to turn around and march his ass straight back out of town and save us all the trouble of uprooting our lives again.
We finish our coffee in silence. Both clearly lost in our own thoughts that revolve around the same hazel-eyed man.
I decide to try to change the subject. “Are your parents coming to visit for Easter?” I can’t believe Easter is almost here. A first for Rose, even if she can’t eat chocolate yet. I’ll gladly eat hers for her. I need all the chocolate right now.
He shakes his head, placing his mug down. “Sienna and Dan are due to have the baby soon, so they want to stay close, just in case.”
Oh, in all the chaos, I completely forgot they were having their baby soon.
“Are you going home to see them, then?” I ask hesitantly, not sure why I feel uncomfortable all of a sudden.
“Yeah, actually, they were asking if you and Ro—” He’s cut off by my phone ringing. We both just stare at it like it’s a bomb about to explode as we see Zeke’s name lighting up the screen. Seb clears his throat and stands to take our mugs to the sink, rinsing them out before coming back over to me.
“You’re right. You’re going to have to talk to him eventually. I need to get going anyway.” He gently grasps my chin, tipping my lips up to his. “I love you.” He stares straight into my eyes before claiming my mouth in a heated but all too short kiss that leaves me panting even after the door closes softly behind him.
I stare down at the last place he was standing for who knows how long, trying to slow my blurring thought process enough to make a coherent decision on what to do next. My phone ringing again makes up my mind for me; I slide my finger across the screen to accept the incoming call.
“Hello?”
“Liv,” he breathes
Shit. My stomach starts turning viciously at the sound of his voice.
“Why didn’t you answer the first time?” He pauses for a second. “Doesn’t matter. Look, we need to talk. Can I come see you?” he asks softly. The tone of his voice right now would usually have me caving to just about anything he asked of me. Not anymore—though I can’t deny the way my heart is skipping beats at the sound of it.
I sigh. “Zeke …”
“Please, Liv. I … God, I have so much to make up for. So much I need to say.”
“Not here,” I reply.
“Okay, fair enough. Name the place and time. I’ll be there.”
I must admit I kind of like the way he’s ready to fold to my every whim for a change. But not enough to encourage something I don’t want anymore.
“This had better be good, Zeke. I’m warning you, don’t try anything. You met Seb yesterday—and thanks for that, by the way. You can’t just come barreling back into my life like a god damn wrecking ball.” I take a deep breath and finish, “As you saw for yourself, a lot has changed.”
I hear him laugh dryly into my ear. “You can bet your fine ass it has.” He sighs. “Sorry. Okay, I’ll be on my best behavior. I just want to talk.”
I don’t believe him. But I can’t exactly put this in the too hard basket—as much as I want to—we’re going to have to do this at some point.
“Liv?” he prompts when I remain silent.
“The pond by the park in the town square tomorrow. I’ll text you once I know what time.” I hang up and drop the phone on the counter like it’s burned my hand. It may as well have, considering how fast my heart is racing right now. I drop my head into my palms and concentrate on breathing.
This is crazy. How can the man who abandoned us sound like the same man that I once fell in love with?
I don’t know. And I don’t like it. I don’t like anything about this whole messed-up situation. Nor do I like the feeling of my gut churning this badly and what that might mean.