Throwing my gym bag over my shoulder, I slam the locker with a force that reverberates through my tense body. Clutching the back of my neck, I squeeze my eyes shut. My mind quiets, which only makes the sound of my ears ringing turn painful with its intensity.
Drawing in a deep breath and letting it loose, I open my eyes to find some scrawny guy staring quizzically at me.
“What the fuck are you lookin’ at, kid?” Anger laces my voice as I pull my bag further up on my shoulder.
Averting his eyes to the ground, he speaks quietly, “Nuffin’, man. You scared the crap out of me with slamming that locker.” He shrugs. “That’s all.”
My shoulders slouch. Feeling like a dick, I raise my hand in silent apology. “Sorry, dude. One of those days, I guess.”
Shaking his head, he lets out a nervous laugh and waves me off.
Turning on my heel, I decide to get the fuck out of here before I lose my damn mind. Which is something I fear I’m coming closer to with every day that passes. These waves of unpredictability and uncertainty are fucking with everything I dared to even imagine having with Liv.
Usually, a gym session is all I need to calm my racing mind. “Hit it out” is what Dad used to tell me to do. Whether I was going through the motions of teenage heartbreak, puberty, or just plain angry with the world, Dad would simply send me out to the shed. I guess he thought that taking my frustrations out on a punching bag would help. And he was right in thinking that because it did. Back then, anyway.
But I’m not a fucking teenager anymore; I’m a man who could potentially lose the only thing that means something to him and lose it to a man who doesn’t even have the balls to stand up and face the consequences of his own misdemeanors or indiscretions. He just shows up out of nowhere like it’s his damn right to be here. No doubt, a man like Zeke was tapping every second woman he came across while he was away from Liv. Dickhead doesn’t know how good he had it—too bad his time was up almost a year ago. I just hope to God that Liv feels the same way I do.
Exiting the front doors, I swing my bag around to grab my keys. Once I locate them, I look up to see Beau walking in my direction, his bag hanging heavy over his shoulder and sunglasses atop of his head. Great.
“Hey, man. How you doin’?” he asks as he approaches. A frown pulls at his brows as he stops in the middle of the parking lot. I stop and shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts.
“Yeah, fucking splendid. You?” I grind out the words, sounding more animal than human.
“Sarcasm, the greatest coping mechanism since nineteen sixteen.” He laughs as if it’s a fucking joke.
I shrug my shoulders. “Better than beating the shit out of someone.”
“Ahh, think you already did that. Well played, by the way. Makes two of us now.” He chuckles. “He’s gonna be sore for a while.”
My eyes widen in disbelief. The fuck?
“What the fuck? What happened there? He’s your best friend, so surely, there’s some kind of code? You know bros before hoes and all that shit?”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t help it. And I only got the one hit in. Figured it was enough to let him know how much of a fucking dick I think he’s been. I don’t for one second think he deserves Liv or Rose. He’s done his dash; he deserves to wallow in shame and self-pity until the day comes when he can man the fuck up and be a decent dad to Rose.”
My shoulders relax at the end of his little rant. He may not be completely on my side, but he respects Liv’s decision to move on.
“That’s the problem; I don’t trust that he won’t worm his way back into her life. I know Rose needs her dad, but damn, I’m all she knows right now in that regard. Call me a selfish fuck, but I don’t particularly wanna share.” I let out a sigh. “I worry about the stress all this is going to put on Liv, too.” A hand comes loose from my pocket, diving into my hair as my fingers tug at it. “He … shit …” I pause and take a deep breath. “Zeke wants her back. He made his intentions pretty damn clear. And I’m the one thing standing in his way.”
Feeling my blood pressure rise, I barely resist the urge to start pacing back and forth as my fingers grip my hair even tighter.
Beau’s hand slaps my shoulder, and I glance over at him, my brows rising. “Chill, man, I gotcha. He won’t get your girl. Try as he might, she loves you—not him.” His expression is resolute, but I can see the pity carefully veiled behind his gaze. I don’t need his fucking pity. I’m doing enough of that shit on my own. I don’t need someone else chiming in on it, too.
“I know. I guess we’ll see what he’s got up his sleeve.” I bend down to pick up my bag.
He claps me on the back. “Keep your eye on the prize, and it’ll work out. I’ll see ya ‘round man,” he says before turning to walk toward the gym.
Digging my keys out of my pocket, I hit the key fob as I approach the driver’s side of my truck. Opening the door, I toss my bag to the passenger seat, and the contents spew across the floor. I forgot to zip it completely when I got my keys out earlier. Awesome.
Driving toward the outskirts of town and feeling thankful that I showered at the gym, I head to the one place that will give me a fraction of solitude from dwelling on this shitstorm of recent days. I pull into the familiar parking lot of St. Margaret’s Hospital.
Work will at least keep my mind occupied for the night. I fucking hope so anyway. Leaving Liv today when she received a call from Zeke wasn’t my finest moment, but a guy can only handle so much when someone else tries to piss on his territory right before his eyes. She, too, needs to understand that I have limits and her talking to him for whatever reason right now, especially in front of me, is only going to result in sour feelings for both of us. At least until I can figure out how to handle this shit.
So I chose to leave before it became any more of an issue than it already was. It’s better that way. She doesn’t need to see this insecure version of me, but she’s gotta already know that I’m pretty much feeling knocked on my ass by all this.
Shutting off the ignition, I lean over the back seat to grab my work bag, and just as I grab it, I hear a light tapping sound that has me turning back around. I find Millie standing outside my window with a tentative smile on her face as she waves at me.
Fuck. I open my door only to have her pull it open all the way, too impatient with my snail’s pace.
“Hey,” she says in a sullen, wary voice, which is unlike her usual quirky self.
Keys and bag in hand, I get out of my truck and lock it.
“Hey, Mil.”
Her blue eyes study me for a beat. “That bad, huh?” She winces a little. “Shit, I’m sorry, Seb. You and Liv don’t deserve this crap. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull by coming back after all this time, but it can’t be good.”
I nod, feeling my tense shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know.”
“Hey, just … hang in there.” She tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I nod and give her a forced smile in return, unable to tell her how I really feel about the whole situation. “You just starting or finishing for the day?”
“Just finished. Thank God, too, because I need sleep. I feel like a zombie,” she says, sounding exhausted. I know the feeling all too well.
With neither of us really knowing what else to say, there’s an awkward silence for a few moments until she waves me off and walks slowly to her car.
“Drive safe, Mil,” I call out to her.
She flicks her hand up in response.
My phone buzzes in my bag, and I quickly pull it out.
Liv: Hey, Handsome ;)
I smirk and tap out a response.
Me: Hey, Beautiful x
Liv: We miss you …
I sigh, not knowing how I can ever be apart from her, but not knowing how to handle all this either. I tap out my truth anyway …
Me: I miss you every second you’re out of my sight. How’s our girl?
Liv: :D Good, almost asleep. I’m sitting on the floor next to her crib in the dark like a noob. I’ve been waiting for her to settle, but she’s not letting me leave tonight even if she can’t really see me.
I laugh at that. That baby girl sure can play you whenever she damn well feels like it, too.
Me: You’re both adorable. Give her a kiss from me and go chill out with your new book.
Liv: Oh, you know I will be. Call me on your break? Need to talk to you about something.
I look at the time, realizing I’m almost late and knowing I won’t get a break until at least eleven p.m. tonight.
Seb: Can it wait? It might be late …
Liv: Not really, and it’s okay. I’ll wait up.
Thoughts and worries start to tangle together in my mind as I wonder what she needs to talk about.
Me: Okay, sure. Everything ok?
I start walking toward the hospital entrance.
Liv: I think so, or well, I hope so …
Okay, vague as fuck. But it’ll have to wait, or I’m gonna be late.
Me: Hmm. Well, I gotta go into work now. But whatever it is, don’t stress. Love you.
Liv: It’s not just me I’m worried about. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you, too. xx
I suspected, but now, I know exactly who this conversation is going to be about. Sighing, I tuck my phone away as I walk into the hospital, welcoming the sterile smell as it seeps into my senses and fogs over my anxiety-ridden thoughts.