I’m sitting on the porch in the stillness of another early May evening. Seeing the flowers blooming beneath the fading rays of the sun’s slow descent has me wondering about the accuracy of time and that uncanny ability it has to speed on by.
We brought Seb home a week ago, and despite almost losing my mind with worry over those first few days, that feeling of contentment has returned tenfold in his presence. Yep, even after playing mother hen and cleaning up after him, everything feels exactly as it should. And it’s made Seb’s comment about moving in with us a lot less daunting.
I close my laptop, and put it on the table beside me, deciding that I can finish the rest of the invoices for Wilma and Ken tomorrow.
It’s moments like these, when you feel like you can press pause on your life and just be—allow it all to soak into your soul and revitalize you—that make it hard to be anything other than appreciative. I’m not perfect, by any means. I’ve made mistakes, but those pesky little things called regrets won’t tether me to some place I don’t want to be anymore. I want to be here, in the present, living, loving, and doing that alongside someone who fits the mold of my heart like a missing puzzle piece.
“Hey.” He places the baby monitor down on the table and takes a seat in the chair beside mine.
I smile over at him. “She give you any hell?”
He grins. “Me? Never.”
I watch him slowly stretch his leg out. He’s allowed to start walking on it but still needs to keep off it whenever possible—which is hard, but he’s been pretty good about it for the most part. He’s stubborn about one thing, though; the small amount of time he missed with Rose seems to be eating at him. She’s become a stage five clinger, sleeping on his chest all the time. Seeing as he can’t walk around to cater to her every whim, he takes what he can get. And bad habits be damned. Just one look at them and I melt so badly that I can’t even form a coherent thought, let alone the words to tell him he’s going to disrupt her hard-earned sleep routines. But nighttime is where I’m drawing the line. Last night and tonight, he felt like he was doing okay, so he took over putting her to bed.
I take the last sip of my coffee. “How’re you feeling?” I put my mug down on the table and turn in the chair to face him fully.
He shrugs and slowly reclines in his chair more.
“Much better than yesterday and the day before that, so I can’t complain really. I might need some pain medication soon, though.”
He’s been driving me mad with that. Waiting for the pain to flare up bad enough before he takes anything. I know he’s just being careful, but shit. I hate watching him wince or groan quietly, trying to keep it from me when he knows it could help.
I get up and go inside to grab some for him, taking my laptop back in with me.
“Liv,” he calls. But I ignore him.
Coming back out, I pass him the two pills and a glass of water. “You haven’t had any since this morning, so shush.”
He smirks and takes them from me. “Yes, ma’am.”
I remain standing and watch him, staring at his throat as he swallows the glass of water in three deep pulls. My throat suddenly goes dry as he slowly places the glass down on the table without taking his eyes from mine. I know it’s only been a little over a week, and Lord knows I’ve gone without sex for way longer than that, but holy hell, it feels like I’m becoming more desperate with every day spent around him. Almost like we’re right back where we once were all those months ago, teetering on that dangerous line between friendship and wanting more.
Except now that I’ve had him, now that he’s mine, the need and longing are so much worse when I’ve only been given scraps of what I know he’s capable of giving.
“Beautiful, don’t tempt a wounded man.”
My eyes snap to his. “Huh?”
He chuckles. “I said don’t tempt me, not unless you want to come sit on my lap and give Mrs. Simmons the highlight of her fucking year.” He moves to get up, and I force myself to remain still, knowing he doesn’t want me to baby him too much. Once upright, he stops in front of me, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear as he stares down at me.
“If you keep giving me your ‘please fuck me now’ eyes, I’m going to have to do something about it.”
A huff of air escapes my parted lips as heat ignites low in my belly. “Oh, yeah?” I rasp.
He nods. “Oh, yeah,” he affirms, his brown eyes hooding as his face lowers to my jaw. He softly skims his parted lips from my chin up to my ear; his hot breath causing a delicious shiver to dart up my spine as well as making the hairs rise on every part of my skin.
“Do you need me, beautiful?” he whispers into my ear before gently biting the lobe between his teeth. A moan slips out before I can even think to control myself. I’m already past the point of trying to hide it anyway.
He chuckles. “Answer me, Liv.”
I nod. “But … If you can’t …”
His head rears back a bit as his brown eyes meet my green. “We’ll manage just fine; I’m not waiting any longer.” He takes my hand, the baby monitor, and locks the door behind us once we’re back inside. I try to keep from giggling as he all but drags me down the hallway as fast as he can, limping the whole way.
“Seb!” I hiss. “Slow down! You’ll hurt yourself even more.”
He doesn’t listen. My bedroom door closes behind us, and he’s tearing my skirt and top off then I’m tugging his pajama pants and shirt off. But upon seeing his bandaged thigh, I pause.
“Lie down.”
His eyes flick questioningly to mine, before realizing that I mean business and easing himself onto his back on the bed. I know it kills him to give up this extra bit of control, but he’ll have to suck it up. Besides, I’ll make it worth his while.
After removing my panties, I bend over him and gently pull his boxer briefs over his thighs, watching his face carefully to gauge how he’s feeling.
“Liv, the meds have kicked in. I’m good, honestly.” He reaches for me. “Come here.”
I shake my head, gripping his rock-hard length then dropping my head to take him in my mouth as deep as I can, causing him to curse violently.
“Holy fuck,” he breathes with his eyes pinned on me as I speed up my pace. He only lets me continue for a minute then his hands are pulling me up his body.
“Hey!” I scold. “Be careful; we’re not doing this if it’s only going to hurt you.”
“Oh, we’re doing this all right. Lips,” he demands, reaching up to palm my breasts. My breathing picks up, and I lower my head to meet his waiting mouth. Our tongues touch slowly, the kind of tease that only adds to the anticipation and steadily growing burn between my legs. Visions of forever seem to flash behind my closed eyelids with every touch of our lips.
“I love you,” he says into my mouth.
I suck on his tongue and then take his top lip between mine, feeling him hard between my thighs. He gently squeezes my nipples between his fingers, and I can’t wait any longer. I reach down to align him with my entrance. His breathing comes harder as he pauses with my bottom lip sandwiched between his. I sink my tongue into his mouth at the same time as I slowly sink onto his cock.
We both groan and pull apart to catch our breath once he’s rooted to the hilt inside me.
His hands gently trail up my thighs to my sides as he looks up at me, his heated eyes turning soft even as his nostrils flare with barely contained restraint. He reaches up to grasp my face, our noses touching as we breathe one another in.
“Every inch of you feels like it was made for me, like it’s my one true home in this lifetime, and whatever ones that follow, if I should be so damn lucky.”
Oh, hell. My walls clench, and he groans.
“I’m so in love with you, you controlling, sweet, solitaire extraordinaire—in this life and every one after.” His hold on my heart is irreversible. He’s my best friend, everything I could wish for without ever having to make one.
A tear escapes and lands on his cheek. He pulls my mouth back to his, fingers delving through my hair as I start to slowly rock up and down. A hand moves down to grip my hip, moving me in a steady rhythm that has his breathing turning ragged.
“Fuck, I’m not gonna last long.”
I moan and lick his top lip in response.
Sitting up, my back arches as I ride him until I start to lose all sense of my surroundings, feeling him stroke and rub all the right places inside me. His hands are everywhere; he gently drags them over the inside of my thighs then my stomach and breasts. “Shit, look at you,” he rasps. “Stunning.”
He takes my hands, weaving his fingers between mine as I feel myself start to slowly tip over that beautifully sharp edge between reality and spine-tingling pleasure. “Fuck, yes. Come all over my cock.”
I moan loudly, my head spinning and my thighs shaking with the force of my orgasm and the rough sound of his voice. I’m slowly coming back down just as he jerks and empties himself on a drawn-out curse. I soak up the sight of him coming undone beneath me; slowly rocking over him until he blinks lazily up at me then pulls me down to kiss my forehead and shove my face in his neck.
“I’m moving in tomorrow,” he states emphatically. His voice still a little raspy.
I laugh. “Oh, really? And why the sudden rush?”
He gently slaps my ass. “Don’t sass me. You know why. I need this, you, everyday.”
“Sounds pretty damn good to me. But not until your leg has healed properly. You’ll be here until then anyway.”
I kiss the side of his throat and carefully swing my leg over him, the sudden absence of him from my body making me feel empty in more ways than one. I go to the bathroom and clean up before climbing back in bed beside him with a wet washcloth. I pass it to him, and he cleans himself up, tossing the washcloth toward the laundry basket when he’s done. His arm scoops me into his side, and I feel his lips in my hair as his breath stirs it.
His chest rises and falls beneath my cheek with his drawn-out sigh. “I’m really am sorry, Liv. So fucking sorry it took me that long to realize what a massive dumbass I’d been.” He pauses for a moment. “But you know what?”
I turn my head to gaze up at him. “Hmm?”
His fingers start to crawl up and down the indent of my spine as he continues. “During that time, I also realized something else.”
My brows pull in, realizing he’s not going to tell me unless I ask. “Okay … what?”
I watch his perfect lips curl slightly to one side, his eyes staying pinned on mine. His other hand moves to my face, his thumb brushing the apple of my cheek.
“That I was put on this Earth for you and for that baby girl, to love you both. Even when it hurts. Because I can handle the hurt as long as I know I have you.”
I blink back tears from my eyes as I continue to stare up at him. “You have me, Sebastian. For as long as my heart beats, you’ll always have me.”
He grins, and I climb up his chest to seal my promise on his lips.