Chapter 18
Emma
It was Thursday, and I was taking my lunch early, wanting to meet up with the girls for lunch. I was feeling a lot better physically, and mentally, I was starting to come around. It had been a long couple of weeks with the pregnancy and the fact that Greg and I had moved the entire office across town to the edge of Main Street. He wouldn’t let me lift more than a computer keyboard, so it took us awhile. I had put a lot of thought into finding Brandt and knew it was the right thing to do. I was excited to tell the girls about the plan I had come up. I really wanted to let him know about the baby and finally put things to rest. I knew it would be stressful, but I knew it was important. When it was all said and done, I could go on with my life and start planning for that baby to arrive. The thought of it was starting to be less scary and more exciting every day.
As I walked along, I shivered, the cool breeze hitting me on the back of the neck. I untied my light jacket from my waist and pulled it over my shoulders. I knew it wasn’t cold outside, but my hormones were out of whack, and I never felt like I could get warm. I put my hands in my pocket, feeling a small piece of paper inside. I had completely forgotten that Greg had taken a message for me the day before. I had left about an hour early from work after getting my office set up, and I guess I’d missed the person. Apparently, some guy had come by my office when I was out and had been looking for me. It was strange to me because if it were a client or work-related, he would have talked to Greg, but he only wanted to speak to me. I didn’t have anyone I could think of who would be visiting me at work, and there was no reason to have some bill collector or otherwise coming by. I really had no idea who it could have been, and that was what I told Greg.
The note just said he would be back to find me and left his name and number. Unfortunately, before I returned to work, clumsy Greg spilled a cup of coffee on my messages, and the name and number were completely unreadable. I tried looking at it from all directions, but it was no use. Greg said he was driving a rental and didn’t look familiar, so he didn’t think he was from around the area, which was even odder because the only people I knew out of the area were family, and they would have gone to see my mother and father. I really thought it was strange, but I figured if he really needed me that badly, he would come back or find my phone number. I had much bigger things to worry about, like the child I was growing inside of my belly and the master plan I had cooked up to find Brandt so that I could at least let him know he was going to be a father again. Those, to me, were more important than a mystery person looking for me. At least, I felt that way. I’m not sure if the mystery guy would have.
I rounded the corner, feeling the warm sun on my face as I walked gingerly along to the café we always met at. I knew the girls would already be there, especially since I’d told Caroline I had something important to talk to them about. I rarely had anything important to talk about, and this would be a treat for them. Plus, I was pretty sure they would be all about helping me achieve it. As I passed the glass front of the store and reached for the door, I stopped, hearing a familiar deep voice calling out my name. I looked through the glass at the girls who were staring at me curiously and then looking behind me, their mouths dropping open. I stood up quickly and slowly turned around, unable to make even a sound. I couldn’t believe who I was looking at, and it took me a few minutes to register everything happening in that short amount of time. It was Brandt, standing right there on the streets of Camden, smiling at me and breathing heavily. He stepped forward with his hand out and then pulled back, seeing my face.
I didn’t know what to say. My mind was spinning a million miles an hour. I stepped to the side to let some other people walk into the café but still didn’t speak. I was angry, excited, worried, and happy all at the same damn time. I was also kind of bummed that my master plan wouldn’t be seen through to the end. Brandt had come to me, and I no longer had to search him out. I shook my head and blinked, the irritation in me growing.
“I have been searching for you,” he said. “Ever since you ran out of the apartment.”
I nodded my head but still didn’t say a word, mostly because we were standing on the street in the middle of town. The last thing I needed was that gossip train taking off, and people knowing I was standing with the married guy who’d knocked me up. I glanced down at his hand, and there was no ring, but that really didn’t make any difference. He opened his mouth, and then shut it again, looking over at the girls who were watching from inside with their mouths hanging wide open. I kept my eyes glued on him though.
“I think maybe it would be better if we talked in private,” he said, looking down at my belly. “I’m staying at the Camden Bed and Breakfast. Would you come back to my room and sit down and talk with me?”
I didn’t know what to say. Obviously, I wanted to talk to him or hit him or something equally as rash, but I also couldn’t move from the spot I was standing in. He obviously knew I was pregnant and probably had some idea that it was his, so we really did need to talk. I swallowed hard and mustered up my courage, nodding my head yes.
“All right,” I said, glancing over at the girls.
“That’s my rental car. I can drive us there.” He pointed at the blue sedan in front of us.
“Okay,” I said, unable to find any more words than that.
I looked over at the girls, and they both blew me kisses and motioned to me to call them afterward. I nodded, still expressionless, and followed him to the car where he opened the door and helped me in. As we drove, the pictures of his happy family flashed through my mind, and I got angrier and angrier. I held it in, though, and sat there for the car ride, clutching my hands. I held it in as we walked through the inn, and I held it in as we walked up the stairs and into his room. However, as he closed his door, I exploded on him, unable to hold back any longer.
“How dare you?” I said angrily. “How dare you pick me up at a bar when you had a wife and a child waiting for you at home? How dare you put them through that? I am not that kind of girl. I am not a homewrecker. Had I known you were married, I wouldn’t have even talked to you. What kind of man are you? You just leave your wife on Valentine’s Day and go to a party where you pick up a girl and fuck her in your bed? God, was that her bed too? I feel like such an idiot for thinking we had any kind of connection. I feel like you played me, and now look where I am. I’m alone, pregnant, and I have to explain to you and your family where this child magically came from.”
I was livid, spouting off every evil thing he had done and exactly how it affected me and his family. He sat there patiently, a look of sadness on his face as I proceeded. I didn’t feel bad for him at all, nor was I going to fall for some adorable puppy-dog face. I was not going to be the woman in another state that he had some secret family with. It was absurd. I didn’t even understand what the hell he was doing there in the first place. When I was done, I sat down in the chair and waited for him to respond.
“I can see how you might have come to that conclusion,” he said. “It explains a lot actually. I have been divorced for over a year, separated for two. Josie is the woman in those pictures with my daughter Sicily, but she got up one day two years ago and left, running off with her rich boyfriend, and we hadn’t heard anything from her until last month. Even with that, Sicily doesn’t want anything to do with her. I have full custody, and I left those pictures up in case my daughter wanted some kind of reminder of where she came from. Emma, I have been looking for you day and night since you left. I have tried everything in my power to get you out of my mind, but you aren’t going anywhere.”
“Really? You’re divorced? You’re telling the truth?”
“Yes,” he said, smiling. “The honest to God truth. You can check up on all of it. I’ll take you to the courthouse in New York and get you a copy of the divorce decree if you like.”
I stood there staring at him, my heart beating so fast. I was starting to melt from the sweetness of his explanation. I felt completely ridiculous about spending so much time angry and hating his guts all along. If I had just asked him in the first place, I would have never gone through any of the stress. He wouldn’t have gone through any of the stress he was obviously going through trying to find me. I shook my head and stood there with tears running down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry,” he said. “Please. I’m sorry you’ve been going through this all alone. I feel so terrible about that.”
“It’s my fault,” I said. “I should have talked to you about everything instead of just running away from you.”
“The important thing is,” he said, walking forward and running his hands down my shoulders, “we’re together now. We’ve found each other, and we can start fresh.”
“Really? You aren’t angry at me for being stupid or pregnant?”
“You aren’t stupid. You might have jumped to conclusions a bit.” He laughed. “And how could I be angry at you for being pregnant?”
I looked up into his eyes and sniffled as he brought his hand up and wiped away my tear. My knees buckled slightly, and he pulled me into him, our noses coming tip to tip. I held the breath in my chest and watched as he closed his eyes and leaned forward, touching his lips against mine. I whimpered, pulling my hands up around his neck and holding him tightly, never thinking I would feel that ever again. Our kiss started as sweet and gentle, but as my body pressed against him, I could feel the lust begin to seep out. We had both been sitting back, wanting each other, needing each other, but unable to find one another. Now that we were together, there was nothing standing in the way, and I gave myself up to his arms, wanting nothing less than all of him.