Chapter 39
Brandt
The view from the balcony was probably the best one yet. It wasn’t because the city looked any different than normal, it wasn’t the sunset, and it wasn’t the temperature of the air. The view from the balcony was so perfect because of the woman sitting next to me. Emma was finally home, right where she was always supposed to be. To feel her hand clutched around mine was the best feeling in the whole world. I had sat there all day, watching the clock, waiting for her to arrive. We texted and talked during her entire drive, trying to make the time go faster. We didn’t think she would be there that soon, but her house had sold, and as soon as it did, she’d made her way out to New York. I actually hadn’t expected her until late that night, but she surprised us, getting there in time to kiss Sicily good night before she went to bed.
It was the most amazing surprise for both of us, but I could tell it really meant a lot to Sicily. She had fallen in love with the woman who would now be a mother figure in her life. When she walked through that door a couple hours ago, Sicily had lit up like a Christmas tree, so glad she got to see her before she went to bed. She had begged me all day to let her stay up to see her, but I had no idea how late it would be. I had promised her she could wake her up in the morning, but that didn’t appease my daughter. She was too impatient. The fact that Emma purposely went out of her way to get there early for Sicily was the best gift she could have given me.
I looked over at Emma who was lounging in the chair with her little swollen feet propped up. She looked so beautiful sitting there with the lights of the city reflecting off her like shimmering gold. I squeezed her hand tightly and looked back out over the city, so happy and thankful that our life could finally get started. We had waited for so long, fought so hard, and tried our best to be patient, and it was all paying off right there in that moment.
“That drive was long,” she said.
“I know,” I replied. “I told you we should have had the car towed and put you on a plane.”
“Meh, it was good for me,” she said. “Besides, the flights were booked until tomorrow, and there was no way I was letting you put me on a private plane. That would have been a bit ridiculous.”
“I’m just happy you’re home,” I said with a smile. “Oh, so I was walking through the guest room the other day, and I think I have an idea to make a gorgeous nursery.”
“Listen to you, home makeovers.” She laughed.
“I’m serious.” I chuckled. “We can turn the office into a spare bedroom because I never use it anyway. If I’m home, then I’m not working.”
“I think I picked out the hospital,” she said.
“Really? Which one?”
“Well, we have to do a tour still, but I’m thinking about the women’s mission hospital in Manhattan,” I said. “It’s close, holistic, and there are so many options for birthing. They’re the sweetest people to talk to. They made me feel like I was at home.”
“Good,” he said.
“And I can go to my doctor’s appointments there too,” she said. “It’s perfect. I made an appointment for next week, and my doc from Camden is sending everything over. It’s a really big appointment too.”
“Why?”
“We get to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl,” she said excitedly. “Unless you don’t want to know.”
“I don’t like surprises.” I laughed. “At least not ones like that.”
“Good,” she said. “I’ll send the appointment to your secretary so she can remind you when it’s coming up.”
“You got this on lockdown already,” I said impressed. “You and my secretary are going to be best friends, I can already tell.”
“I hope so. I need a friend or two in this city.” She laughed. “So, yeah. Next week, we can stop calling the baby it, and start saying he or she.”
“I want a healthy baby,” I said. “But if I got to choose, I would love to have a little boy. I’ve been itching to add another guy to the mix around here. I’m surrounded by you girls all the time.”
“I agree,” she said. “I’ve always dreamed of having a son, and on top of that, I already have a beautiful little girl in my life. She cannot be replaced, and I don’t ever want her to not feel special. She really has become one of the most important people in my life, no joke. I was just as excited, if not more excited, to see her as I was to see you. I really loved how she lit up when I got there in time to kiss her good night. I left early so I could make that happen. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It was the best surprise ever,” I said, leaning over and kissing her.
When Sicily hit six years old, I’d started to worry what it would be like for her growing up without a maternal influence in her life. I knew I couldn’t be the mother and the father, and my mom would do the best that she could, but she was still a grandmother. When Emma came into our lives, I realized she was the best person I could possibly imagine to be there for Sicily, to guide her, and to be a mother and a friend to her. I knew when she showed up today just to kiss her good night that I had made the perfect choice. Sicily was going to be surrounded by people who loved her, cherished her, and appreciated every second she was able to spend with us. I never thought I would find Emma, and then there she was like it was fate.
It was almost as if Sicily could hear my thoughts. We both looked over as she struggled, pulling the sliding glass door open and rubbing her eyes. I gave Emma a pouty face, and she smiled at me, reaching her hand out so I could help her up. She pulled herself to her feet and stretched for a second before walking over to Sicily and crouching down in front of her. We could both tell she wasn’t really that awake, not fully. I sat back and watched as Emma rubbed her tummy and brought her in close, hugging her tightly and calming whatever was going on with her. I couldn’t tell for even a second that Sicily wasn’t her biological daughter, and if I couldn’t tell, I knew that Sicily couldn’t either, which was really important.
“What’s going on, sweetie?” Emma whispered.
“I don’t know,” Sicily whimpered.
“Did you have a bad dream?”
“Yeah,” she said, really reminding me she was still just a little girl.
“Come here,” Emma said, pulling her in again and hugging her tightly.
Emma wrapped her arms around her and walked over to the chair, sitting down and rocking her back and forth. Sicily laid her head on Emma’s shoulder and closed her eyes, the stress on her face melting away with the touch of Emma’s hand against her hair. I smiled at Emma and shook my head, blown away by the natural caring that emanated from her. She sat rocking Sicily back and forth for about fifteen minutes. When Sicily had fallen back to sleep, Emma looked over at me and smiled. I shook my head and winked at her, feeling the comfort and solitude in the moment.
“Help me up,” she whispered.
I got up and walked behind her, lifting her up under her arms and stabilizing her as she held Sicily close to her. I leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, whispering to her that I loved her. She smiled big for the first time in a long time.
“I’m going to put her to bed,” she whispered. “I’ll be back in a little bit. I want to make sure she stays asleep when I lay her down.”
“Okay,” I said, smiling. “I’ll be right here.”
I sat back down in the chair and watched as Emma carried Sicily inside and out of sight. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my emails, stopping halfway and reminding myself that I needed to be more present when I was home. I needed to tuck my cell phone away and focus on the family I had worked so hard to get. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my legs in front of me, staring up at the clear night sky. I was shocked at how many stars I could see, and I thought back to the nights Emma and I had spent in Camden. Sitting out on the quilt in the park after watching the sunset, I lay back and could see every star in the sky. I could remember thinking about how much Sicily would love it, sitting there staring up at the Milky Way, seeing all the different constellations that weren’t viewable from the city because of all the lights.
Part of me missed being in Camden, feeling the down-home love and caring that the people there gave to me and to Emma. There, a hardware store was actually a hardware store and not some huge corporate conglomerate. I knew I would go back there, and I knew I would always be a city boy, but it was still a really nice escape. I picked up my beer and realized it was empty. I stood up and walked into the house, carefully opening the fridge and grabbing another one. When I glanced over at the clock, I noticed Emma had been gone longer than I thought. I had gotten so caught up in the stars, I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I put the beer down on the counter and walked down the hall, carefully opening Sicily’s door.
I stood there and chuckled quietly, leaning against the doorframe and looking at Sicily’s bed. Emma and Sicily were both asleep, curled up in each other’s arms and surrounded by all of Sicily’s stuffed animals. They were sleeping nose to nose, and Sicily had a hold on Emma’s hand. I couldn’t help myself. I literally stood in that doorway for probably thirty minutes staring down at the two most important women in my life. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My little girl in her pink pajamas curled up facing my beautiful girlfriend, her little round baby belly between the two of them, poking out from under her shirt. They both looked so content and peaceful, and I was almost jealous I wasn’t a part of it.
I figured I would let her rest there until bedtime and slowly backed away, going and grabbing my beer and heading back outside. There was nothing better than sitting on my balcony, drinking a beer, with my two ladies comfortably and safely asleep in the other room. I had everything important to me in one house, and I would never let anything change that again. I had finally found my happily ever after, something I thought only existed in movies and fairy tales. I had never been more wrong about that, and as I sipped my drink under the shimmering stars and glistening cityscape, I realized there was no way I could be any happier than I was right then and there.