CHAPTER 2
Madeline
I spent my day off sleeping through the afternoon and doing a bit of grocery shopping in the evening. I was trying to eat healthy to get through the long shifts. Depending on sugar wasn’t going to help me much, apart from treats here and there. I ate protein as much as I could and even tried to cook, though I would never be as good as Mom. I gave into drive-thrus a lot after work just to eat so I could sleep.
Ugh. I was a mess.
I loaded my veggies and fruits into the fridge and then packed the pantry with my dry things. I’d also grabbed eggs and some meats to cook up, hoping for a great week of eating. I belonged to a gym as well, but I went less now that I worked so much. That was great when I was looking for a job and had some time, especially with the stress in my life of doing just that. The idea made me laugh, and I considered an evening trip tonight since I worked in the late morning tomorrow. I slept a ton too, so why not?
I pulled my hair into a messy bun and changed into some leggings and a sports bra before pulling a worn t-shirt over it. I wasn’t into the fancy workout clothes, but I did have some good, comfortable shoes that I wore. The gym was a couple blocks away from my house, and I drove over there with my bag stocked with headphones and towel, so I could tune out to music. That was my escape from the everyday stress, and it wouldn’t hurt to lose a few pounds along the way. My eating habits on college were terrible, and I didn’t join the gym until after I landed a job, so I was making up for a bit of lost time.
I walked in to scan my card and headed to a treadmill for my daily dose of cardio. It wasn’t too crowded right now, and I found one that gave me a little space and turned on the app that gave me great workout music before sliding the blue tooth headphones over my ears. They were a bit big, but I despised ear buds, and it was easier to work without wires. Once the beat was pumping through my bones, I turned on the machine and started walking. I mainly just focused on the movement when I was here, paying little attention to any of the other people. That seemed to be the norm at the gym, but today my eyes wandered slowly over the large room. There were a lot of fit men and women taking up the various machines and watching the televisions provided by the gym as they worked out or listened to music. Some of the people were attractive, and I blushed as I thought about the clothes that I was wearing and the red tint that must already be taking over my pale skin. My eyes passed over a man jogging at a steady pace on a treadmill in front of me and lingered, enjoying his toned legs and gorgeous ass. I blushed a deeper red as I bit my lip and fought the laughter that was rising to the surface. What was I thinking? I wasn’t going to meet a man here. That wasn’t the point, and most of the guys here were muscle heads to the point of being disgusting.
Not this one, though. Not at all.
An edgy song came on, and I moved my head to the beat as I increased the speed just a bit. I never ran on these machines but appreciated a brisk walk. I was mouthing the words and the man I had been checking out turned to look at me with a grin on his face as I realized that I was singing the song. In the gym. For everyone to hear.
Oh, God. I blushed and pressed my lips together, still feeling eyes on me as I imagined the entire room like I was crazy. I blushed and lifted my eyes to see him continue to look at me and shock hit me as I recognized him as the doctor from the hospital. Declan. He went to my gym? Great. I looked sloppy and thrown together, which was fine since it was a gym. That’s what I told myself anyway. I smiled faintly and focused on the movement of the belt and my legs moving quickly over it as a new song came on; one that I didn’t know as well. I was drinking some cold water when I sensed someone standing in front of me, and I looked up to see Declan. His mouth moved, and I hit the pause button before lowering my headphones over my sweaty neck as I grimaced. “Madeline Chase,” he said with a charming smile that made me shiver as I smiled at him self-consciously.
“Hi. We belong to the same gym,” I said lamely as Declan nodded and looked closely at me.
“So, we do. Do you live close by?” He asked as I toweled my face off slowly. I knew I must look like a hot mess.
“Just a couple of blocks away,” I responded as he met my gaze and held it. There was an intensity in the look that I’d never seen from anyone in my life. This man was older by me by what I guessed was at least ten years, but he was so handsome. His brown hair was tousled with sweat, and his face was lined enough to show a little maturity and those eyes. They were a dark forest green and endless as they started back at me, emotions passing through them rapidly as I watched. “You?”
“I live in the neighborhood just around the corner,” he said as I nodded. It was one of the best ones in town with gates, guards, and beautiful homes. It was a place that a doctor would live and not a nurse.
“It’s gorgeous there. I think I know it,” I murmured as Declan smiled wider and licked his lower lip. I started sweating more as I watched and grabbed my water to take a long drink.
“When do you work next?” Declan asked as I lowered the bottle.
“Tomorrow afternoon,” I replied as he nodded slowly.
“I am on tomorrow night as well. Maybe we can have coffee at some point during the evening. Where do you work?” He asked as I felt a thrill rush through my veins.
“I am in the ER,” I replied as he gave me a sympathetic look.
“That is a chaotic part of the hospital. I am a surgeon, so I do get around the building a lot. There are a lot of consults to do. If I am in the area, I’ll see if you’re free,” Declan told me as a flush spread over his tanned skin, making me redden as a result.
“That sounds great,” I replied, making a mental note to ask someone about him. He told me to enjoy the rest of my evening before leaving, and I watched him as I played back every word. I wasn’t completely clueless when it came to men and had dated…a little bit.
CHAPTER 3
Declan
I left the gym with a smile on my face and unlocked my Range Rover from across the parking lot. The lights blinked, and I heard the familiar chirp as I walked towards it, picturing Madeline in my head. She was a gorgeous woman with her wide, light green eyes and soft smile. I saw a lot of life in those eyes, and she didn’t strike me as one of the typical new nurses straight out of college. She didn’t strike me as a twenty-something. There was something deeper about her that called to me.
I got inside and started the engine as Dean Martin filled the cab. Would she even know who this was? I was forty-three and didn’t listen to the latest pop music or watch the latest shows. For God’s sake, I was married until six months ago before my wife Laura passed away from Stage 4 lung cancer. It was a quick death, something that I was thankful for since I didn’t want her to suffer. We were married seventeen years at her passing, together for two before that and she’d seen me through the tough years of college as well as many hours working at the hospital.
Laura never smoked, which angered me in the beginning. She just got it and went in too late to save herself, since it had spread throughout her body. We didn’t have kids, so she left me on my own, wondering if I should have thought about that along the way.
I thought carefully about Madeline as I drove home. I thought her to be in her early twenties, perhaps twenty-five. That wasn’t grossly younger than I was, but we were in different places in life. Was I even ready to think about another woman in my life? Was it proper to feel this way for someone? What were the rules when you were a widower?
I had no damn idea. I didn’t think that anyone would replace what my wife had been to me, but I also knew that she didn’t want me alone. Laura told me as much in her last days when she was still lucid. We talked a lot then. It was a struggle to see her with the hospice nurse moving around her bed in the last few days when we couldn’t talk at all.
It was even harder to say goodbye, but I did it with strength in my voice until I knew that she was gone. I didn’t want her to see me break. I took a short time off work after her death but returned quickly, needing to stay busy and distracted. I spent a lot of time at work and the gym, coming home to the big house tired so I’d fall right asleep. It wasn’t always successful, but it was getting easier with time. I was going to be okay.
My parents just lived a few hours away, and I visited them a lot. It made my mom happy to see me, and they were getting older now themselves, so I cherished the time. Dad was a surgeon as well in his day and very well-known, making it tough to follow in his shoes sometimes. Maybe that is why I never had kids since Dad was gone a lot and it was Mom raising my brother Lucas and me mostly on her own. Laura had been a lawyer, so she worked long hours as well. We were just career people.
I pulled into my garage and turned the key to silence the engine, sitting quietly in the three-car garage for a moment as the door closed behind me. It was a beautiful modern house with four bedrooms, three bathrooms and a basement that we’d turned into a theater. There was a pool in the backyard with a spa as well. We liked to relax after work. I paid the house off with her insurance once it was settled and considered selling it some days. I didn’t need all this room for just myself, and I could take the money from the sale and fix up something smaller, like a two bedroom. I didn’t need all of this.
I sighed as I walked inside and went over to the Vitamix to fix a post workout smoothie. I added equal amounts of vegetables, fruits, and a scoop of protein powder before turning it on and staring out of the window at the spacious backyard. It was beautiful but so much for just me and the emptiness of the house seemed to thicken as I took a slow breath.
There were a lot of women at the hospital willing to help me through the loss of my wife in some creative ways. I’d been propositioned by doctors, nurses and even the occasional patient. It was immediate once the news of Laura’s passing got around the hospital, and disgusting in some of its forms. I was a man and had needs, but I wasn’t looking to jump into bed the second that Laura’s coffin was in the ground. I had more class than that and to be honest, nobody peaked my interest that way that Madeline did until now.
What did that mean?
I showered and sipped my smoothie as I watched a hockey game on television. My Hawks weren’t in the playoffs this year, but I appreciated the sport enough to watch other teams and enjoy it. I liked a little of all the sports and found it relaxing after a long day. I hadn’t spent a lot of time in the theater after Laura died, since watching movies was our thing to do together. Now I watched everything in the living room or the big master bedroom, often falling asleep to the soft noise and light of the screen.
I did have needs. I would readily admit that, and I turned on my laptop in bed to find something to work my cock to. I found some amateur porn with a blonde that resembled Madeline, stroking myself as I watched a man take her on her knees. She screamed as he fucked her hard and I grabbed a tissue as I felt the pressure in my balls. What would Madeline sound like in bed? Would she be adorably shy like she was today, or did she have a crazy streak in her?
The hospital drama filled my head as I imagined being in a sexual relationship with Madeline. The rumors ran rampant around the building, and I dreaded the thought of it as I thought about friends that had been dragged through it already. Was I ready for that after so many years of a comfortable, private relationship? Was I willing to be in the spotlight that way?
I groaned as I came, imagining a lot of erotic scenarios in my head as I shot into the Kleenex. Even the one-night stand that I did have while away for a conference wasn’t this powerful, and I felt a hell of a lot less guilt getting myself off. Being with someone else was strange after being so used to my wife.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it even now.