Forty-two
There was no real honeymoon. Just a long weekend in Dorset, which Pat and Don had paid for as a wedding present. It was a wonderful seventy-two hours. They spent the days in bed, shagging like rabbits, and the nights in the pub. There was no further mention of the ring. Beth often gazed at it, thinking of Malcolm, whom she’d regrettably never met. That ring had meant so much to her nanna, and yet she’d willingly given it away. Beth knew she would wear it forever. If James had saved anything to put towards a ring, he certainly didn’t come forward and offer to spend it on something else. Beth decided to leave well alone.
Before she knew it, they were on their way home from Dorset, and James was his usual charming self. They were husband and wife, and both were looking forward to whatever the future had to offer.
Once home, it wasn’t long before they started thinking about getting a place of their own. The tiny room James rented was no use to anyone, and they didn’t fancy starting married life at Beth’s family home. Pat and Don helped them out with a deposit, and, due to Beth’s steady income from her job at the hairdressers, and James being made permanent with the building firm, they were able to get a mortgage.
With great pride, in the November, they moved into their first home. It was a brand-new house, a two-bedroom place on the new housing estate James had helped build. For months, Beth thanked him for the house. She knew he’d been no more than a labourer, but still, she frequently complimented him on the tiling in the tiny kitchen, or the plumbing in the equally small bathroom. He would take each compliment and reply with a cheeky grin, ‘Glad to be of assistance, madam.’
Michelle often came to stay with them. She’d sleep on their sofa, it was easier than getting a cab when she was drinking. Sometimes, she’d share the sofa with Ricky, and sometimes she came alone. If Ricky didn’t come, they’d still have a good time, just the three of them. James and Michelle would often get drunk and all three would reminisce about the Bondi days.
On a couple of occasions, they tried to play Trivial Pursuits, but James took too long to answer his questions, and the girls got bored of waiting. Also, he hated to lose, whereas neither of the girls had much of a competitive streak, and couldn’t understand his frustration if one of them, by some fluke, beat him. They soon worked out it was best not to play.
It was during one of these visits that Beth overheard a private conversation between Michelle and James.
She’d been out in the kitchen washing up the few plates and things they’d used for their Chinese takeaway, a decadence they rarely allowed themselves. Walking back towards the lounge, she was preparing to ask Michelle if she fancied more wine.
Her hand was on the lounge door, as she heard Michelle say, ‘So, you’ve told her?’
Beth stopped abruptly. Waiting for James to reply. After a second he asked, ‘Why do you care?’
‘Answer me. Have you told her? Yes or no?’
Beth could hear the frustration in her husband’s voice, as he asked, ‘Why are you bringing it up, now?’
Then, Michelle spoke again. ‘I just think it would be better if she knew, and I can’t believe you’ve kept it from her all this time.’
Motionless. Beth tried not to exhale. Waiting for his response.
Just as she thought she might pass out, he answered, ‘Yes, I’ve told her.’
Michelle sounded sceptical. ‘All of it?’
‘YES. Just leave it.’
Even without seeing his face, Beth could tell James was getting angry. She thought she might throw up. What had he told her? Nothing that could be discussed in this way.
‘Well?’ Michelle persisted.
‘Well, what?’
‘What did she say? What’s she going to do about it?’
‘She’s going to do nothing about it. We’re fine. It’s all good.’
‘All good? You’re sure?’
‘Yes. Just … look, she doesn’t want to talk about it. Don’t go asking her what she thinks or anything. Just leave it, OK?’
A deadly silence followed. Beth could picture her friend’s face as she weighed up the situation. Michelle said, ‘OK. But you’d better not be lying to me. I said you should tell her ages ago.’ This was followed by the sound of her rising from her chair. ‘I’ll go and see if she needs a hand clearing up.’
Michelle’s footsteps were muffled as she approached the lounge door. Beth had just a second to tiptoe back to the kitchen.
By the time Michelle joined her, she was pretending to wash up one of the plates she’d already cleaned. She was humming gently under her breath, as she stood at the sink. ‘All right?’ She tried to keep her voice casual, but to her it sounded shaky.
‘Yeah. Fine. You seemed to be taking a while. I thought I’d ‒’
‘Oh, no need. This is the last plate.’
Somehow, she managed to sit through an episode of Have I Got News for You, with the pair of them. She sat still in her chair, clutching her knees to her chest. Hoping to give away none of the thoughts that were going on inside her head. She even attempted a couple of laughs, where the situation called for them, and, once the programme ended, she gave the excuse of a headache, and went to bed.
The house was not large. The walls were thin. She could clearly hear them chatting long into the night. But there was no further mention of the mysterious thing James had supposedly told her.
‘This has got something to do with that day you found them together.’
‘I know. It must have. Oh God, Lisa, what does she know that I don’t?’
‘Why aren’t you down there, demanding an explanation?’
‘I’m scared.’
‘He should be the one who’s scared. He’s the lying, cheating ‒’
‘We don’t know that. We don’t know he’s cheated. We don’t know what he’s done.’
Lisa sounded exasperated. ‘No. We don’t. And we never will know, unless you grab him by the balls and ask him the friggin’ question.’
‘What … what if it’s …’
‘Go on?’
‘What if it’s life changing. I mean, what if there’s no coming back from it?’ There was a heavy weight on Beth’s chest. ‘We’ve just got this house. We’ve not long been married. What if it’s something so awful that I HAVE to leave him?’
‘Isn’t it better to know now?’
A thought occurred to Beth. ‘What if I lose them both? I mean if it’s to do with Michelle, I’d have to disown her too.’
‘Well, yes, but the alternative seems to be to lay up here like a coward and let the pair of them get away with this.’
‘I can’t lose them both.’ Beth shook her head. ‘I just can’t.’
‘You should’ve been more insistent at the time. Back in Bondi.’
‘You’re probably right. But I can’t go back and do that now.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’
‘I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear it.’
‘You’re fucking kidding me?’
‘No, I’m not. And I’d be grateful if you’d do the same.’
‘Sometimes I don’t believe my friggin’ ears.’
‘Well, in actual fact, they’re my friggin’ ears. And I’m asking you to do what I say.’