Twenty-two
On New Year’s Eve, Beth managed a quick call to wish Nanna a happy Hogmanay. It was a little early, but she had promised. Nanna was delighted and seemed in good spirits. Then Beth, James, Michelle and a whole load of others from the hostel headed into Sydney for the evening. There were people everywhere. Beth had never been one for celebrating the New Year. Unlike Nanna, she tended to find it an anti-climax. But this was different. Sydney Harbour was all lit up; people were crowding the streets. It was beautifully warm, not like a British New Year’s Eve when she needed to wear a coat and winter boots. It was a balmy night and they all felt it in the air, it was just kind of magical. The whole place was beautiful.
At the stroke of midnight, Beth stood opposite the harbour and watched the most amazing firework display. Boats tooted as they sailed past. The atmosphere was incredible.
She couldn’t wait to get her hands on James. They kissed for what seemed like ages, but could only have been minutes. They just got lost in each other’s mouths, as always.
When they broke apart, he said, ‘I love it here.’
‘Yeah, me too.’
‘Can you believe it’s now 1999, Beth? This time next year we’ll be celebrating the big one. Like that Prince song.’
Beth smiled, thinking of her nanna, who was already pondering that unknown entity – the New Millennium.
‘I wonder what the future has in store for us?’ James asked.
Beth tried to return his enthusiasm, but deep down she was becoming scared. He was due to fly north soon. She and Michelle also had plans to leave. The rest of their trip beckoned. When they’d chosen the dates, back in the travel agents at home, she’d had no idea that by New Year’s she was going to have met a man and fallen for him. How could she ever have imagined someone like James? Was he going to be part of her future? Thinking about the difference he’d made, she couldn’t help but whisper, ‘Thank you.’
‘What for?’
‘You know. For everything. For showing me what it’s all about.’
‘It was nothing.’ He obviously didn’t want her to get all maudlin, not on such a spectacular night.
She took his lead and brushed it aside. But she knew what he’d done for her was life changing.
Not long after midnight, they decided to try to head back to Bondi. Sydney was packed, and everyone was drunk, getting home was never going to be a walk in the park.
Beth pointed out that, before they even attempted to get a taxi, she needed a wee. Siobhan agreed. They headed over to the public loos, but the queue was out the door and down the street. Of course, the men weren’t as restricted as the girls. They were whipping out their willies all over the place.
‘Why don’t you just wait until you get home?’ James asked this as, with a sigh, he peed against a wall.
Indignantly, she replied, ‘Could you wait that long?’
‘No, but …’
‘Right, well shut the hell up!’
By now they’d made their way to Circular Quay. Michelle pointed. ‘Look, a statue.’
‘So, what? It’s a statue. And?’ Beth was finding she could be awfully grumpy when her bladder was full. She was beginning to have horrible flashbacks to the pregnancy tests with her mum.
‘We can pee there.’ Michelle was already heading towards the statue.
‘What the hell am I supposed to do?’ Poor Siobhan was wearing an all-in-one playsuit. ‘The only way to pee in one of these things is to take the whole thing off!’
Beth shook her head. She honestly didn’t know what to advise. She was just extremely grateful she hadn’t decided to wear the same kind of thing. She asked James, ‘Shall I do it?’
‘It’s up to you. Are you desperate?’
‘Bloody hell, am I?’ Beth crossed her eyes and pulled a face.
Before she could give it much more consideration, she was crouching down behind the statue with Michelle and Siobhan. She waited. She wasn’t going to be the one to start.
Michelle took down her shorts and undies and moved them out of the way. The next second she was peeing. They’d held it in for so long, it sounded like a horse taking a piss. The noise of someone peeing sent urgent messages to Beth’s brain and she couldn’t fight it any longer. She hitched up her skirt and whipped down her knickers. Oh, the relief of that pee. Poor Siobhan was the worst off, she undid her playsuit and had to almost strip behind the statue. A few seconds later they were all peeing. The sound was deafening.
As soon as they’d finished, they pulled their underwear back up as quickly as possible, who cared about drips. They just wanted to be decent. Siobhan struggled back into her playsuit and they all gave each other a look that clearly stated, ‘We shall never speak of this again.’
Giggling, they emerged from behind the statue, ready to find the rest of their friends. It was only then that they realised an embarrassing fact. In their drunken state, they hadn’t noticed how skinny the statue was. It did nothing to cover all three of them. As this dawned on them, so too did the fact they were being watched by a group of Japanese tourists. Every single one of them had a camera hanging around their necks and every camera was pointed at them. The girls stood still, drinking in the information that they had most definitely been watched whilst they peed, and they had almost certainly been photographed. The Japanese tourists began to clap. Not just one or two of them, but the whole bunch. The girls received a resounding round of applause. They had two options, die on the spot or take a bow!
‘Tragic!’ shouted Michelle.
They took a bow and ran for it.
Getting a taxi proved to be the almost impossible task Beth had thought it would be. In the time they waited, the shots she’d had earlier began to catch up with her. The evening ended for Beth with her lying by the side of the road, shouting, ‘Taxi!’ to all the passing vehicles. One of their group must have been sober enough to negotiate getting them all into an actual taxi and paying at the other end. Whoever it was, she couldn’t say. She only knew ‒ it wasn’t her!
Beth had more bad dreams. She was in Lisa’s place, trapped and scared. Waking up alone, she vowed that was it for her and drinking. Each time I get very drunk I have those dreams, it’s just not worth it. I’m done with strong alcohol.
She set off to look for her friends. The first person she found was Michelle, who said, ‘Great night, wasn’t it?’
‘Up to a point,’ Beth agreed.
‘You weren’t sick again?’
‘No, I wasn’t. But …’
‘What?’
‘Oh, nothing. I just don’t think alcohol agrees with me, that’s all.’
‘Rubbish. You were the life and soul of the party again last night. I’d say you’re getting used to the strong stuff.’ Michelle laughed. ‘Would you like some eggs or toast?’
Not sure she could do breakfast justice, Beth politely declined her offer. ‘No, thanks. I’m going to go and find James.’
‘He’ll be where we left him.’
‘Um … where was that?’
‘In his bed, silly.’
‘I don’t remember much after we peed behind the statue. We were trying to get a taxi, if I recall …’
‘Blimey, you’re not saying you’ve forgotten the whole party in James’s room?’
The hairs on the back of Beth’s neck stood on end. ‘The party?’
‘Anyway, he was in his bed when you and I headed back to our room, I’d look there first.’
An awful sense of foreboding settled itself on Beth, and she quickly made her way to James’s room. Sure enough, he was in bed.
Shoving his body over to the side, she sat herself down next to him. ‘Wake up.’
‘Huh? Oh, hi.’
‘Do you remember much about last night?’
‘Yeah, course. Well up until you and Michelle left. I conked out after that.’
Beth took a deep breath. She was scared to hear his response. ‘I was such a lightweight. I’m sorry I practically passed out when we were waiting for the taxi.’
‘Don’t worry about it. You’re always a lightweight.’
She gave a sigh of relief.
‘But … you seem to rally round after a nap.’
‘WHAT?’
‘Bloody hell, don’t shout. I just mean, you know, the last couple of times we’ve been out, you seemed like you were out for the count. You took yourself off to bed. Then you came back a while later and you were ready to party hard. I quite envy you your recovering ability. You know, I used to have a friend who could make himself throw up if he was too pissed and he ‒’
‘I came back?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Give me an example of a time when I came back, please?’
James screwed up his face. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Please, just humour me. Tell me what I did on one of the occasions when I seemed like I was out cold, but I came back to the party.’
Beth waited. Lisa was eerily silent.
After some consideration, James spoke. ‘Well … let me see? Christmas night. After all the tequila shots. Michelle and I put you to bed. She put the bin by your head.’
‘Uh huh. And?’
‘About twenty minutes later you came out into the garden to join us. You seemed much better.’
‘And I carried on drinking and having fun.’
‘You most certainly did.’ He winked.
‘Why did you just wink?’
‘You remember Christmas night, surely. The laundry room?’
‘Did we …?’
‘We had sex in the laundry room. You’re not saying you’ve forgotten?’
‘I …’
‘And last night is another classic “party Beth” example. Almost out cold in Sydney town. I put you to bed, and, within minutes, you’re up and about and knocking back the drink. I’ve got to say, I’m quite jealous.’
‘You’ve already said that. James, did we have sex last night, too?’
‘Shut up.’ He laughed. ‘I’m not falling for all this “I can’t remember” bollocks. Is this some kind of sex game? Am I supposed to describe what we did last night?’
‘So, we did?’
‘You know full well you were seriously up for it last night. You want me to tell you how we snuck out to the garden and made love under the stars, is that it? You’re in a right saucy mood today. I’m going to need a couple of headache tablets if you’re going to start making demands on me already.’
He seemed to be finding the whole conversation hilarious. She supposed from his point of view it must seem like a joke or a kinky game. But for her it was heart-breaking. She was hearing about this behaviour for the first time, and she knew exactly who’d been shagging James in the garden the previous night.
Excusing herself and promising to return, she made her way to a quiet part of the garden. Even though the conversation was going to take place entirely in her head, she needed somewhere private to conduct it.
‘How could you?’
Lisa said nothing.
‘LISA?’
‘Don’t shout. You know how it echoes in here.’
‘LISA. LISA. LISA. I’m going to keep on shouting until you answer me.’
If anyone had happened to glance out into the garden, and seen Beth, they would’ve assumed she was quietly meditating. No one could have guessed that on the inside, her voice was bouncing off the walls, reverberating around her head.
‘OK. Fine. You’re mad at me for coming out when you were pissed. I get it.’
‘Of course, I’m mad at you. You shagged my boyfriend!’
‘Technically, you shagged him. I mean it was your body. It’s not like he was unfaithful. There’s no need to be upset with him.’
‘I’m not upset with HIM. I’m upset with YOU.’
Lisa sighed and continued, in a patronising voice, ‘Beth, you wasted the two best nights of the year. Christmas and New Year, you were asleep way too early for both. What was I supposed to do? Sit in here and watch you sleep?’
‘You had no right. You can’t just ‒’
‘I was bored. Bored, bored, bored. You have no friggin’ idea what it’s like to constantly watch you, as you let every opportunity pass you by. What harm did I cause? James thinks he shagged you. And I was very good. Your friends think you’re a party animal now. You’re popular, for once. You should be thanking me!’
‘It’s my body. It’s my life.’ Beth wanted to scream. ‘How did you even get out, anyway? I thought you needed my co-operation?’
‘It would seem if you’re fast asleep and pissed up, I can do it alone. You didn’t resist me …’
‘So, you swapped and left me in your place. I must have been extremely far gone. I don’t remember any of it, I don’t even remember watching from your place.’
‘No harm done, then.’
‘Yes, harm was done. You betrayed me. I don’t want you walking around pretending to be me. Talking to my friends. Sleeping with James. It’s … it’s horrible!’
‘Well, it would seem, sister dear, that you can’t stop me.’
‘Oh yes, I can.’
‘How?’
‘I’m never drinking like that again. You won’t be able to get out if I’m sober.’
‘BITCH!’ Lisa spent the next few minutes ranting and raving.
Beth forced the sound of her sister’s voice out of her head. If she was honest, she could see her point. Yes, her life was awful, and Beth could only guess at what it must be like to be her, twenty-four hours a day. If only Lisa had restricted her fun to drinking and partying, then maybe she could have agreed to allow her out. But the thought of her having sex with James in the moonlight. It was torture. As much as she was crippled with guilt at the life poor Lisa was left to lead, she refused to share James with her.