Nineteen
They found a bench and settled down for a further chat. Beth didn’t know what he was expecting to hear, maybe he thought she was going to tell him she wasn’t on the pill or inform him that she liked things a bit kinky. She was sure he didn’t expect to hear that, due to an extremely bad start with sex, she’d avoided it like the plague. She decided to include Mandy, which surprised her a bit. But somehow, it seemed right not to leave her out.
A lesser man would, no doubt, have decided it wasn’t worth the bother. But that was kind of the point. If she was going to be too much trouble, a freak, if that was how he was going to see it, then she needed to know. She was completely honest and even told him how much she’d hated sex, although she did make sure to point out that kissing him was completely gorgeous, and she’d be more than happy to do a bit more of that.
When she’d finished talking, James took her in his arms and held her so tight she could barely breathe.
‘Are you crying?’ Beth asked.
‘No …’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Look, it’s just sad, OK?’
‘I know.’ After a pause, she added, ‘Thanks for minding.’
He wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. ‘You’re welcome, love.’
‘The stuff about the miscarriage …’
‘I shan’t say a thing. But … about the sex, Beth, it’s not ‒’
Her turn to interrupt. ‘Oh, I know.’
‘What? What do you know?’
‘It’s not normal. I know I should’ve had loads more men by now.’
‘If you’d let me speak. What I was going to say was, it’s not horrible. I mean obviously, I’ve not experienced it from your perspective. But …’ he blushed, ‘I’ve been told, it’s good for girls too. I think you got off to a rather crappy start.’
‘You think?’ She raised her eyebrows.
‘What if I told you, I could make you feel good, and you wouldn’t have to risk getting pregnant?’
‘Condoms?’
‘No, you daft thing. I’m saying, how about I dedicate some time to showing you how your body can feel. No … um … you know,’ he seemed embarrassed, and appeared to be weighing up which phrase to use, ‘No penetration. How would that be?’
Beth’s body underwent a jolt of excitement. She rather liked the idea of James showing her how she could feel. Was he so selfless as to do that for her without the obligatory shag?
Reading her mind, he replied, ‘I just want you to see how it could be, I’m not a flamin’ saint or anything.’
‘I would like to know how to enjoy that kind of intimacy.’
‘Good. It’ll be my pleasure to show you. No risks, OK?’
‘No pain? No babies?’
‘Abso-bloody-lutely!’
Walking back towards the hostel, she wondered when all this was going to begin. Next week? Tomorrow? The butterflies in her tummy had resumed their dance. She wanted to kiss him, but she feared what was going to come next. Also, where? Where was all this feel good stuff going to take place?
He answered her unspoken questions. ‘We could go to my room, now? The lads are out, they won’t be back for hours.’
‘Your … your room?’
‘We’ve found a way to lock the door.’
‘Really? I mean, really locked. Properly?’
‘Locked up tighter than a nun’s …’ He stopped. Whatever the punchline was, he decided better of it.
‘Right now?’
‘Unless you don’t want to.’
She looked at him, his handsome face, his fit body. She wanted to know what he had to offer. Giving serious consideration to herself, she figured there wasn’t anything she urgently needed to do. She’d recently shaved her legs, her armpits and her bikini line, plus she’d not long had a shower. If she asked, ‘Can we leave it until tomorrow?’ it may not happen. Something might get in their way.
‘I want to …’ she began walking in the direction of his room ‘… but you’d better be right about locking the bloody door!’
As Beth watched James wedge the chair up against the door, so the handle wouldn’t budge, she asked Lisa, ‘Please don’t stay. I don’t want you to watch.’
Lisa was silent.
‘I mean it. It’s private. It’s my life. Promise me you’ll go away.’
‘Go away? Where to?’
‘I don’t know. Isn’t there somewhere? Aren’t there others like you?’
‘I don’t think there are.’ Lisa sounded incredibly sad.
Beth wondered how jealous she must be, but tried not to think about it. She knew if she allowed the guilt to take hold she’d never be able to enjoy this moment with James. ‘Well, just don’t watch or listen, please?’
After a second, Lisa replied. ‘OK. But …?’
‘Yes?’
‘Take care.’
After that, Lisa was silent again, and Beth had to allow herself to believe her sister wasn’t watching. Banishing thoughts of her twin from her mind, she gave her attention to the handsome man who was walking towards her with a sexy grin on his face.
They kissed for what seemed like ages. As before, he kissed beautifully, no rush, not too much pressure, just a leisurely rhythm that built and built until she was panting. As James began to undress Beth, she felt a shock of embarrassment. She’d never been naked in front of a man before, unless you included the surgeon who’d performed her operation, and she certainly wasn’t counting him. The one time she’d been intimate with Mario, she’d only removed her knickers and he’d merely taken his trousers and pants down. Understandably, being undressed scared her. The minute James began gently removing her knickers, her whole body clenched up.
He stopped and stared into her eyes. ‘Do you trust me?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered, trying her hardest to unclench.
Within seconds, she was completely naked, and James was gazing at her admiringly.
To begin with his fingers traced patterns all over her skin. It was deliciously light. Gradually, the pressure increased, until she realised they were most definitely no longer at the ‘beginning’. The random patterns had become progressively more and more centred around her belly. It seemed strange, but it was as if her lower body was made of jelly somehow. All the stiffness had gone from her limbs, they were now fluid.
She’d discovered her clitoris many years before, and occasionally touched herself when Lisa was asleep. It wasn’t that hard to find, despite Mario’s best efforts to ignore it. She was fully aware that when his fingers made their way towards it, things were going to be different. Clearly though, she hadn’t paid enough attention to it previously. The few orgasms she’d managed to elicit from that area by herself had been a quick enjoyable surprise, not much to make a fuss about. As James’s hand made its leisurely way towards her clitoris, she began to experience a build-up of pleasure, an unhurried feeling that promised to be far more satisfying than anything she’d previously experienced.
At last, he concentrated on her most intimate part and she was surprised to realise how wet his teasing had caused her to become. This would have come in handy with Mario!
As his fingers deftly drew the gratification to the surface, her body arched, and her breath began to come in short sharp gasps. The orgasm, when it did hit, was like nothing she could have imagined. Wave after wave of pleasure, beginning at the pinnacle of her being and flooding out, up her tummy, down her legs. This was way more than a mild surprise!
Afterwards, she lay still, looking up at James. She would have thought she’d be embarrassed and maybe she wouldn’t be able to look at him after he’d seen her so exposed. But that wasn’t the case at all. She was entirely comfortable with his eyes upon her.
Before his room-mates returned, James found the time to show her that, as amazing as the first orgasm was, he could top it.
Hardly giving her time to catch her breath, he gave her a sexy look and asked, ‘Are you ready for lesson two?’
‘I …’ There was the jolt again, only now it was even stronger, and it was directly to her groin. Now she knew what he was capable of, the anticipation was incredible. ‘Lesson two?’ Her mouth became dry.
‘Yep.’
‘There’s more?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘Still no pain? Still no babies?’
‘Still abso-bloody-lutely!’
Before she had the chance to complete the sentence, ‘To be honest, I don’t think you can top that …’ his head was between her legs, and he was paying her some serious attention with his tongue. The sensations he yielded were similar to the ones he’d produced earlier, only, amazingly, they were even more intense. There was an urgency to his moves this time, it was less of a slow build and more of a sudden wham that took her breath away. James dedicated endless time to her, and he asked for nothing.
Even though she was scared, Beth thought she ought to offer, ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to …’
She was incredibly relieved to hear him answer, ‘Don’t worry. There’ll be plenty of time for that, when you’re ready, sweetheart.’