Fifteen
When Beth woke up on the third day she realised something was different. Her face was incredibly tight. It was almost as if she was wearing a mask. Her mouth wouldn’t open properly. Fearing a stroke (a tad over dramatic possibly), she tried to call out.
As she’d come to expect, Michelle’s legs quickly swung down, and she joined her friend on the bottom bunk.
Examining Beth’s face, Michelle appeared optimistic. ‘The blisters have gone. It looks … a bit better.’
‘Ut I can’t oken my mouwt.’
‘What do you mean, you can’t open it?’
‘I can’t oken it. My fayz feels odd.’
‘It’s just a bit dry. Try opening it a tiny bit.’
Beth sighed. ‘I can’t. My mouwt won’t muv.’
Michelle began to laugh, and Beth couldn’t help it, she just kind of joined in, and within a second, her entire face cracked.
‘Shit. That’s just nasty,’ Lisa shrieked. ‘I mean it was fun when you used to do it with those avocado masks when you were teenagers. But when it’s your actual skin, it’s kind of gruesome. Even I felt that!’
Beth’s grin turned to tears.
They were sentenced to two more days in solitary. Michelle bought some ham and a jar of Vegemite, plus a whole load of chocolate, and they settled in for another forty-eight hours of tea and toast, this time with some added twists. One night, when they’d run out of food, Michelle even smuggled in someone else’s cereal and some suspicious milk.
Beth agreed to venture out, two days after the face cracking incident, not because she was healed, but because she feared she was testing her friendship with Michelle way too much. She plastered the Aloe Vera on her face and optimistically added lip gloss and mascara.
‘It’s lucky they don’t let kids in the Rugby Club at night.’
‘And why is that, Lisa?’
‘They’d all run back to their parents in fear of the Elephant Woman.’
‘You’re hilarious. Do you have no conscience? It’s your fault I’m dreading going out instead of looking forward to it.’
‘I do have a suggestion, actually. I mean … you know, if you’re too scared to go out.’
‘No way!’
‘I’ll make sure no one gives you a hard time. I won’t let stupid twats comment on your face. I’ll just have a few drinks with your friends. I’ll crack a few jokes. You’ll be a hit. What do you say?’
‘And what happens at the end of the night?’
‘Huh?’
‘When you’re pissed, and you don’t fancy swapping back. What happens then?’
‘I’ll let you out. I promise. You know I will.’
‘I don’t know that at all. Nice try. But I’d rather face a room full of people laughing at my face than swap with you.’
‘You are such a …’ Lisa raged on in the background and Beth did her best to tune her out.
Beth tried to be sociable at the Rugby Club. She figured most people would be able to work out why she resembled a Barbie doll that had been left a little too close to the radiator.
Michelle seemed delighted to be out and about again and was happily flitting around like a butterfly.
Sky asked if Beth would like another bracelet made, but she assured her she was more than happy with the one she already had.
‘Your face seems to be healing well,’ Sky whispered, in her gentle voice.
‘You were right to warn me.’
Glancing up from her intimate conversation with Sky, Beth spotted Michelle talking to James. It was an animated chat, he appeared to be almost charming the pants off her. She’d clearly been right in judging him to be cute. They both turned in her direction and, to her horror, Michelle began to lead him over to their table.
‘Hi, how are you?’ he asked, his china blue eyes boring into hers.
Beth’s hand rushed to cover as much of her face as possible. ‘I’m … you know … a bit better.’
‘It does look better. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much, love.’
His kind words made her strangely sad. Ridiculously, she found herself getting upset. ‘No … it’s …’ she couldn’t finish the sentence. I think I preferred it when he was rude. Changing the subject, she squeaked, ‘I see you’ve met Michelle. She’s been great. We’ve been hermits for a few days.’
James glanced back towards Michelle, who was now standing behind him. ‘Yeah. She told me the same. I’m glad you had someone to look after you.’ Again, there was great kindness in his tone, and Beth stupidly thought she might begin to cry. What was this man doing to her? Why was he glad she had someone to care for her? He didn’t even know her.
Seeming to sense her mood, he tried to lift it, by asking, ‘Can I get you both a drink?’
Beth was ready to say no. To be honest, she was ready to run. She didn’t like the way he was looking at her, nor the effect his look was having. It scared her. But Michelle had other ideas, stepping forward, she piped up, ‘Yes please. Two bottles of beer.’
Of course, once he’d bought them a drink, they were obliged to reciprocate, and then they were snared. There was no escape from James and his expressive eyes. Michelle may have been flitting around the room, but Beth was far too self-conscious to do the same. She remained on her seat next to Sky, and James chose to remain with her. A couple of times she thought she sensed annoyance in Michelle’s look. Had Michelle perhaps fancied him herself?
As soon as Beth got the chance to talk to her in the toilets, she let her worries out. ‘If you like James you should go for it, Michelle, you know that, right?’
‘I think he likes you. You go for it.’
‘Oh no, no.’ Beth shook her head. ‘I don’t …’
‘Is it because of your face? It looks heaps better. Anyway, it’ll be completely fine soon.’
Another fervent shake. ‘No, I just don’t … look, if you like him, you should tell him.’
‘You don’t, what? Fancy him?’
Beth lowered her voice. ‘Michelle, you know what I’ve been through. I don’t want …’
‘Of course, I do. It was tragic.’ There was compassion in her friend’s familiar face. ‘But you still have to live. You should still meet men. You just need to be more careful in future. I mean … you’re not going to stop having sex completely, are you?’
Beth simply didn’t know how to explain to her friend that sex meant nothing to her. It was awful, worse than awful. They still hadn’t had a discussion where she’d felt comfortable enough to open up about it. The time had just never seemed right, and now the moment had passed. With a sigh, she gave up and lied. ‘Yes, it’s my face. I’m embarrassed. You were right.’
Giving her a shove, Michelle said, ‘He seems to like you, try to forget your face is falling off.’ Whether Michelle did or didn’t fancy James, she wasn’t prepared to reveal it to Beth that night, and there were many other men happy to keep company with such an effervescent girl. Within minutes of them leaving the loos, Beth spotted her chatting to a tall, ginger-haired man and a thin, Asian guy, she was nothing if not varied.
They all walked home together. Arm in arm, they sang, as they strode along the road. Michelle, of course, led the singing. Seeing how comfortable she was in the centre of a crowd made Beth even more touched about the time she’d devoted to her, during her solitary confinement.
How has Michelle become this confident? As children, they’d both been quite shy. Michelle had her bloody awful mother to contend with, and Beth relied heavily on Lisa. But somehow, over the last year or so, whilst Beth had been hiding from the world and grieving for Mandy, Michelle had blossomed into an adult. Beth couldn’t help feeling envious of her friend.
As they reached the hostel, they all separated to retire to their individual rooms.
Michelle approached as Beth momentarily stood with James. ‘Are you coming straight in, or are you going to hang around out here for a while?’
Genuinely confused, Beth asked, ‘Excuse me?’
‘It’s just that … Andrew and I … well, you know?’
Still none the wiser, Beth said, ‘Andrew?’
Michelle pointed to the tall, ginger-haired guy. Then it clicked, he was clearly expecting to accompany Michelle to bed.
Beth was shocked. She knew people had sex willy-nilly, so to speak. She knew couples were probably shagging all over the place in the hostel, but she’d not seen that side of Michelle before, and it surprised her. Yes, Michelle had had a couple of boyfriends at home, but this was different. She experienced a mixture of revulsion that Michelle was going to do that awful, painful, thing with a man she hardly knew, and jealousy that Michelle was somehow choosing Andrew over her.
Unable to voice her feelings, she simply stuttered, ‘Well… yeah, I suppose. But what about Ben?’
‘We didn’t promise each other anything. We didn’t want to be exclusive. Besides, he’s probably shagging people back at home. So, anyway …?’ Michelle raised her eyebrows questioningly.
‘OK. I guess.’ Beth had no further words to describe the surprise she was feeling.
With a thumbs up motion, Michelle asked her to give them an hour.
Beth nodded, numbly. Even as she agreed to the plan, she was unsure where she was going to go. Was she to wander the hallways of the hostel, covering her ugly face, like the Phantom of the Opera?
James, however, had other ideas. ‘She’ll be fine. I’ll stay with her.’
A second later, Michelle was gone, to do Beth knew not what with the enormous Andrew.
Her pulse began to race. Was James going to think she was up for it as well? Was he planning for them to head back to his room? The thought filled her with dread.