Fifty-five
Every second of the drive to the hospital was torture. Beth became convinced she would be too late. ‘What the hell does “I couldn’t wake her up” mean?’
‘I don’t know. She’s been sleeping a lot lately.’ Lisa was concerned by Beth’s haphazard driving. ‘Mind out! You didn’t even look at that turning. You need to calm the fuck down.’
‘How can I calm down when Nanna might be …’ Vomit rose into Beth’s mouth.
‘Please, I know you’re worried, but just try to watch the road. You should never drive when you’re upset.’
‘At least I can drive. It’s more than you can do!’
Lisa’s anger flared. ‘And why is that, huh? Did you ever let me out to learn? No!’
‘I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.’ Beth was taking deep breaths, trying to keep the nausea at bay. ‘I’m just so scared.’
‘I know. I am too.’ Lisa’s voice softened. ‘Two minutes and we’ll be there.’
‘What if we’re too late? What if she’s already …’
‘Just get us there safely, then we’ll worry about all the possibilities.’
Unusually, Beth had some change in her purse, and after finding a parking space relatively easily, she paid the maximum parking fee. Four hours seemed like a long time, but she had no idea what was going to happen at the hospital, and the last thing she needed was to have to return to the car to put more money on the parking.
She almost ran into A&E, and began searching for her mum. ‘I can’t see her. Maybe she’s not here yet?’
‘You think we beat the friggin’ ambulance?’ Lisa didn’t sound convinced.
At the same time as an official looking lady approached her, Beth heard Pat’s voice from behind one of the curtains. She was demanding to know what the waiting time would be before Nanna could have a CT scan. It was Pat’s efficient voice. She was on her own turf, and she was taking no prisoners.
Beth thanked the lady, and informed her she wouldn’t need any help locating her family. Rushing over to the cubicle which contained Pat’s voice, she pulled back the curtain, and took in the view of her mum and dad standing over a bed. They were accompanied by a timid nurse. In the bed was a teeny-tiny, sound-asleep version of Nanna.
‘Nanna!’ Beth ran to the bedside, looking down into the face she loved.
The nurse scurried away. ‘OK, Pat. I’m just going to check out the availability for that scan. Won’t be a minute.’
‘Why is she like this? Why is she so tired?’ Beth asked her mum.
‘Try not to worry too much. The scan will tell us more.’
Like a caged animal, Don paced the cubicle. ‘How much longer is that girl going to be?’
‘She’s only just left! Anyway, she’s rushing us to the top of the queue.’ Pat tried to halt him in his stride. ‘They’ll do their best. I’ll see to that.’
‘Yes, yes, I know!’
Beth stroked Nanna’s cheek. ‘Can you hear us? We’re all here.’ There was no response. Nanna was like Sleeping Beauty. Beth asked her mum, ‘Is this to do with the headaches?’
Pat appeared to be trying to decide what was best, to tell them what she suspected, or to wait for confirmation.
‘It’s … well, there are a number of things …’
‘Mum, what do you think has happened to her?’
Don stopped pacing. Both he and Beth gave Pat their full attention.
‘I think … I’m sorry, but I think she may have had a stroke.’
Don was the first to speak. Exhaling, he said, ‘Bugger, I was hoping it wasn’t going to be that.’
‘It might not be. I could be wrong. But …’
Don put his arm around his wife’s shoulder, and said, ‘I doubt you are. You’re a very good nurse.’
‘I wish I wasn’t so sure. I wish it was something less complicated.’
‘I know, Pat, but … it is what it is.’
‘She had a dreadful headache yesterday. I should have …’ As always Beth’s response was guilt.
Pat was quick to reassure her. ‘There can be many reasons for headaches. Don’t blame yourself. If we all rushed to the hospital every time our head hurt, A&E would be crammed.’
The nurse reappeared. ‘They’re ready for her now.’
Before she had time to ask any more questions, Beth’s precious Nanna was wheeled away.
She watched the doctor’s mouth move. She figured if she concentrated hard on his lips and his slug of a moustache, she wouldn’t have to hear the horrible words he was saying.
‘Sorry, but you do need to listen.’ Lisa made a good point.
‘OK. I’ll try.’
Obediently, Beth tuned back into the doctor’s words. ‘Like I say, Mr Campbell, your mother has had an ischaemic stroke. We can clearly see on the scan that an artery which supplied her brain with blood has become blocked. This would have reduced the oxygen-rich blood supply to that part of her brain. She’ll need medication. We plan to move her to a ward for tonight and see how she is. The next few hours are crucial for her.’
Pat jumped in with a number of medical questions, and Beth did her best to follow the discussion. It seemed there was a possibility Nanna might wake up, but until she did there was no way of knowing just how badly she’d been affected by the stroke. The more the doctor talked of paralysis and speech loss, the more Beth wanted to sob. This couldn’t be happening to her amazing Nanna. It simply wasn’t fair.
The hospital staff were kind, but firm. They insisted there was no way all three members of the family would spend the night sat by Nanna’s bed. After a short discussion, it was agreed that Don would stay, and Pat and Beth would go home. Beth found it unusual that it was her dad who was going to remain, she was used to her mum stepping up in most situations. But Don was adamant, and, of course, Nanna was his mother.
Beth kissed him gently on the top of his balding head. ‘You’re right. She’ll want you to be the first person she sees when she wakes up.’
Don nodded. Not trusting himself to speak.
She found James sitting in the lounge, staring blindly at the TV. ‘How is she?’ He switched the TV off. It was almost as if the whole ‘stealing their baby money’ thing hadn’t happened.
‘She … they think …’ Beth was caught off guard. She’d been expecting grovelling, apologies, maybe even a bit of, ‘I did it for you, damn it!’ What she hadn’t expected was for him to carry on as if their marriage hadn’t just been blown apart by a Panzer tank. ‘She’s had a stroke.’
‘Is she able to speak?’
‘They don’t know … she’s still asleep …’
He continued to show concern. ‘It’ll take time, love.’ Either he was totally oblivious to the fact that she was besieged with rage towards him or he was just a bloody good actor. ‘She’s tough, she’ll be ‒’
‘James!’ She held up her hand. ‘Stop. Don’t sit there asking me how my Nanna is, like there’s nothing else going on. It’s insulting.’
‘I was just … I was worried about her.’
‘You were worried about her? What the hell? Were you worried about her when you stole her money?’
‘Beth, please, I’m just asking how she is.’
‘Let me out, I wanna thump the fucker!’
Beth ignored Lisa, although she was tempted. To James, she said, ‘It’s awful, she’s just asleep the whole time. The doctor said if she can’t swallow properly she’ll need to be on a drip and they’ll consider feeding her through a tube.’ With this final fact, Beth gave in. Backing up to the sofa, she sat down and began to cry. ‘She looks awfully frail. And I can’t bear the thought of her struggling to swallow.’
James approached her sheepishly. ‘I know how angry you are with me. I did something unforgivable. But for now, can we put that to one side, and will you please let me help you through this?’
‘Tell him to fuck the fuck off and never darken your fucking door again.’
‘I think maybe I need him.’ Beth knew Lisa wouldn’t understand.
‘You’re kidding? You’re going to let him get away with it?’
‘No! I am going to have it out with him, I’m not going to forget what he did, but … he loves Nanna too.’
‘If you forgive him for this, you will forgive him for anything.’
‘I’m not saying I’m going to forgive him. I’m just saying I need him right now.’
‘For God’s sake, Beth, you might as well lay down by the front door and write “welcome” on your face.’