Chapter 24

Ruby

I sit as quietly as I possibly can, my grin getting wider as I try not to react. Inside, I’m screaming.

It’s like fireworks are going off inside my head, champagne is being popped, and whistles blow. My cheeks hurt from trying to hold in my grin.

He likes me, he likes me, he really likes me!

My girlhood crush is crushing on me. It’s such a perfect moment. The light of the fire flickers warmly, painting us with shadows that dance across our faces.

He’s grinning right back at me, like he knows exactly how I feel. In the changing light, we could be teenagers again. Just starting out. Not understanding what love is, or how intimacy works, only that we want it.

With each other.

I want to hug him. I want to wrap my arms around him and press my body against that amazing pillar of hard manhood. I want to feel how his firm flesh presses against my soft curves.

How deep his scent would be, rising between us and teasing me as it crept across my skin. How his hard muscles would feel under the soft fabric, pressed by my hands.

As much as I want to do this, to just suddenly leap up and throw myself at him, I don’t. He’s like some kind of wild thing, something forged by shadows and pain. Sharp events and hard tasks chiseled this body, this will.

He’s not the young boy I once knew—who was, even then, quiet and far too thoughtful.

I can sense a deep hidden darkness in him. My instincts tell me sudden moves are not a good idea.

I reach out with one hand, raising it slowly and moving it towards him lightly. He notices my movement and I see him stiffen all over as soon as he realizes what I’m doing. As my hand falls gently on his forearm, I rub him gently with my fingers.

He smiles, softening. Sure, we’ve touched before. It’s not the touch that is the problem. It’s the fact that he’s reserved, emotionally. He’s been hurt. So, I have to take that into account, and try to be aware of his needs.

I don’t think he’d object to me throwing myself on him for a full body hug. However, he might get startled. I feel, very keenly, startling is not something I want to do.

He wriggles a bit closer to me and my grin gets wider, if that’s even possible. We press our bodies together, and I run my hand up his arm to clasp our fingers together.

“We wasted so much time,” I whisper, looking up into his eyes, the light from the fire basking his blonde hair in a bright glow. The shadows move across his face, painting one eye in light, the other in darkness.

“It certainly could have been better used.” He grins at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh, because you were my brother’s best friend, of course. You guys were older than me and so very cool, you know. So, I just thought you would never be interested.”

“Oh, I’m cool, am I?”

“Way cool. Super cool. Totally cool,” I ramble, again like I’m fifteen fucking years old. Christ Ruby, get a grip.

“Damn, that’s a relief. I thought I was a geek.”

I burst out laughing, “You were always a jock as if you even think that!”

He laughs too, leaning back as I give him a hard elbow in the ribs.

“Okay! Okay, I never thought I was a geek. Not good enough for you though, maybe.”

I watch his face change. He keeps the softness and the humor, but there’s something serious behind his eyes now.

“Not good enough?”

He raises our joined hands, moving his fingers against mine.

“I always thought you would end up with one of those really professional guys. You know, like a lawyer or something? A nice, well-dressed type of guy who can take you out all kinds of glamorous places.”

He looks up at the trees, lightly tossing in a breeze. He seems to mentally slip away from me, becoming a part of that savage balance in the wilderness. “I don’t like cities,” he whispers, letting our hands drop down as he looks into the trees.

“I like it out here. Everything’s honest. I don’t get enjoyment from going out and doing things in crowded places. It’s much safer if I just keep to myself.” His eyes fall back down to the ground between his feet.

I squeeze his hand, trying to bring him back to me. “What makes you think I need busy days at museums or live shows to be happy?”

He looks up into my eyes. He shakes his head lightly. I’m not sure what he’s denying. I know him so well, and yet, I know nothing at all.

I smile, pulling his hand towards me, reminding him that we are touching.

“I’d be happy with the right person. It doesn’t matter where, or what we do.”

“I’m not sure I am the right person.” He looks at the ground again.

“Right person for what?” I stare steadily at him, waiting for him to bring his gaze up to me. He does, looking confused.

“I’m not sure.”

I shuffle a bit closer, squeezing his hand and looking into his eyes. I want him to feel me, the heat rising in me, making my nipples get tingly and hard and my clit start throbbing. I put that heat into my eyes.

“I can think of one thing you’re the right person for.” I let my eyes slide down, looking over him and grinning as I come back to his face. I see the surprise and a kind of relief wash over him. He looks me over too, grinning wider when I blush.

“Oh, Ruby. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of other guys that are nice, gentle and caring—”

“You mean, you’re not any of those things?” I’m kidding, but he gives me a sharp look.

“I am. I mean, I’m not. It’s complicated.”

I press our joined hands to my chest, looking into his eyes. Begging him to understand.

“Maybe I don’t give a fuck how complicated it is. Maybe I just want you.”

“I want you too, Ruby. Of course, I do.”

“Then what the hell are we doing, sitting here, looking into each other’s eyes and hardly touching each other?”

He sighs and tugs, trying to get his hand back. I grin mischievously, gripping his hand tighter and burying it further into my chest. He grins back.

“Maybe I should just keep doing what I’m doing, and not think so hard.” I take on a formal tone. He laughs.

“Might be the best bet. I really…don’t like thinking. Not these days.”

“That’s fine. Maybe we shouldn’t think.” I’m letting my eyes linger over him, over all of him, burning between my legs and in hot points where my nipples stick out against my blouse. I pull myself over a bit closer.

“Did you think about me, that last vacation?”

“Of course, I did.”

“No. I mean, did you lay in your blankets at night, hoping to dream of me?”

He looks up and our faces are very close. Almost close enough to kiss, but I don’t. I’m so close to doing what I want to do, pressing my body against his and our mouths together. Something stops me. Maybe it’s the sadness lurking right behind the joy in his eyes.

“I did dream of you. All the time. And yes, I was a teenage boy. I laid in my blankets fantasizing about everything in a skirt.”

“I think you may have missed my point.” I grin, stroking his hair back from his face. “I was giving you an opening to say how special I was to you.”

He laughs lightly. “Sorry I missed my cue. Yes, Ruby. I thought about you far more intensely than the others.”

I give his hand another squeeze, but I don’t lean in for this kiss I so badly desire. Instead, I get up, letting him go. I want to distance myself just a bit, hoping that he’ll miss my touch. Hoping that when I sit down again, he’ll be ready to do more than hold hands.

I’m not sure why he’s holding back. I can’t think of a single reason why he would. If we both want each other, why would he stop himself? He really is like a wild thing. He always had that air about him, something different. Harder. Stronger.

I think my panties might be stuck to me. As I walk around the fire, I have a little wriggle. My clit rubs against my tight jeans and just makes the whole panty situation a whole lot worse.

I put a few small branches on the fire and grab a big one. I throw it down across a couple of rocks, holding on to one end and slamming my heel hard against the middle as I jerk the end towards me. The crack is loud, sudden. The wood explodes, shattering where my heel hits it.

I look over at Wyatt with a grin, waiting to hear a compliment about how bad ass I am. Instead, his hands are up over his ears. He’s rocking forward, crumpling on to the ground.

“Wyatt! Wyatt! What’s wrong?” I rush around the fire, touching him on the shoulder. He moans, body stiff and shaking.

“Talk to me, Wyatt! What’s happening?” I manage to pick him up by the shoulder and look at his face. His eyes are rolled back, and his eyelids are flickering. His body jerks, trembling all over. He moans roughly, completely out of touch.

It’s some kind of mental episode, and I have no fucking idea what to do.