Allie
We're getting ready to leave the coffee shop and frankly, I’m shocked by Xavier's behavior. He seemed to take a genuine interest in my story of regret over having lost Stanley.
I've never seen that side of him before. Normally he's kind of cold and crass and distant. But something about me opening up to him has led him to treat me a little more gently.
I don't know what it is about Xavier. I can't put my finger on it but there's something mysterious about him. There's something I'm just not getting.
First, he acted so concerned about helping me to get a new agent. But then the agent ended up being a not so great person. And then Xavier invited me out, but he asked Olivia to come along. I'm still scratching my head over that one. Even though the sex that night was amazing.
And now he's actually acting so nurturing and I just don't understand why. I mean everybody has a virginity story, and they're usually not that great. So I don't know why mine is so different to him.
"So, do you think we should get out of here?" he says.
I cringe at the thought of leaving my little hiding spot.
"I'm ready to go," I say. "But I'm not ready to face the world."
"Come on," he says. “I bet no one will even recognize you. Besides you're with me, what could go wrong?"
I look at him and think to myself how he's just so handsome and how I secretly want to go back to his penthouse and let things heat up.
"Fine," I say, giving in. "We can go. But you have to guard me if something happens," I say, somewhat jokingly.
We're on the street and all seems good. He and I decide to take a little walk around the city. It'll help to get some fresh air after being cooped up in my apartment for so long.
"So," he asks. "Have you ever felt that strongly for anyone else besides that guy Stanley?"
I look up at him and think about how I'd love to tell him the truth. I'd love to tell him that maybe he could be the guy that I could fall for again. But again, with Xavier, things are just too dangerous.
I know he has a problem with commitment and I don't want to get wrapped up in the drama. So I say nothing about that.
"No, I haven't ever felt that way again. I guess I'm just unlucky in love...and in life."
He has a gloomy expression on his face and I don't understand why. It's not like this is his life being ruined. And it's not like it was he that did it to mine.
He's holding my hand and it's a nice fall day. For a moment everything in the world seems just right.
All the women who pass Xavier give him a second glance. He must be used to this kind of behavior, with women checking him out everywhere. He really is that gorgeous.
Just as I'm starting to let go and to forget all my worries, something awful happens.
Some guys approach us. They look like college frat boys or something. They take one look at me and started laughing.
And then one of them says, "Hey, man, you know she's diseased, right?"
He directs the question to Xavier, and I feel absolutely humiliated. This is like my worst nightmare. This is why I didn't want to leave the house.
I try to hide my face and then realize I forgot my somewhat clever disguise. I left my scarf and sunglasses at the café. I'm screwed.
Before I can feel much more embarrassment, though, Xavier is going up to the men and challenging them.
"What did you just say?" he says aggressively.
The guy doesn't back down. He stands up to Xavier, even though he's about half his size.
“I said she has an STD, moron. Don't you know that?"
At this point, I want to find the nearest hole, crawl in it, and never come out. For this kind of thing to happen in front of Xavier, the man I'm trying to impress, well, it's the worst kind of torture.
Xavier grabs the guy by his collar and throws them up against the building. I’m stunned into silence. I've never seen him rage like this before and I've never seen those muscles on full display.
"You will never say anything like that about her again," he yells at the guy.
He picks him up by the collar and holds him by the neck against the building, nearly choking him out.
"Now, I want you to apologize to the woman. Now!"
It's super-hot and sexy to see Xavier in full alpha male mode right now. I really do feel taken care of. And I've never had a guy stand up for me like this before. It makes me feel like he'll always do this for me and that I can trust him. What are these feelings?
The guy utters some kind of half-assed apology. But Xavier doesn't let him go.
"You better mean what you say!" he screams in the guy's face.
He squeezes his neck a little tighter and the other guys are cowering, looking like they'd love to run away right about now.
"I want you to apologize, and you better mean it," he says. “I want all of you to apologize to her."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," one of the guys says to me, so willing.
"Yeah, me too. Honestly, we're real sorry about this," another one says.
And finally, the one who's being held up against the building utters his final apology to me and it couldn't sound more sincere,
"Listen, we didn't know. We are so sorry. I'm sorry for what I said and I promise never to say something like that again."
With that, Xavier releases his grip and the guy falls to the ground. He's holding his neck like it hurts, and I can't say that I care.
I'm impressed by my man, if I can even call him that these days. He protected me, and it's the first highlight in my life I've felt since the video came out.
"Xavier, you certainly made them pay for it," I say, still a little dazed.
"Yeah, well, they deserved everything they got. They're lucky I didn't punch their stupid faces in. I feel sick about the fact that people are treating you this way," he says.
"You know, I really appreciate that," I say. "But you have to know this is not your fight. I'm gonna have to figure my way out of this somehow."
"I'm gonna help you, Allie," he says. "I promise to help you find a way out of this thing. There's got to be a way to undo this."
A look of misery crosses his face and I just honestly cannot put two and two together. Xavier and I are not exclusive, and he's made me feel like I'm not the only woman in his life, so why does he care so much now?
I figure I should take what I can get and just be grateful for his kindness. But a part of me is wary. There's something that I just don't trust about Xavier right now.
I'm just ready to retreat from the world. This has been a pretty traumatic day.
"Can we please go somewhere private?" I ask, hoping he'll take me somewhere and fuck my brains out so I'll forget all this wretched embarrassment.
He looks at me thoughtfully.
"You can't hide forever, you know. I think we should stay out and you can learn to handle the scrutiny."
I know he's vacillating between being the alpha male that he is and not letting me give in to my tormentors, and he's feeling kinda like maybe he should give in to me and get me out of here. I hope he chooses the latter.
"I want to hide, Xavier, at least for a little while longer."
He sighs. "You sure that's what you want to do? You're just gonna run from the world?"
"For a little while longer. Don't you understand? Today was brutal."
"Okay." He squeezes my hand, turns around, and leads me back toward the penthouse.
I'm elated to be going somewhere private, out of the public eye. This has been one long experience that I'm ready to put it behind me. It looks like the video is going to haunt me no matter where I go and what disguise I wear.
Even though I'm with Xavier now, it's hard to look up and have a positive perspective, considering today I've been both heckled and judged.
But if we’re going back to his place, I know I have the perfect distraction in store.