To me, Mazen was the most understanding and considerate person I’ve ever known. He’s always known how I felt, even when I couldn’t define the feeling myself. He’s always understood what I was thinking, even when I couldn’t adequately put my thoughts into words.
This time, Mazen wasn’t responding as I had expected; his reaction to my encounter with the Sheikh was harsh. He wasn’t understanding or considerate. He was upset.
He didn’t like that I’d implied that we could never give up Sheikh Omran’s blessings, or that his words were as powerful as ours. I couldn’t understand why Mazen was taking it so poorly, but it was probably one of the many things about the culture that I had a tough time absorbing.
Maybe Mazen didn’t know that a woman’s strength comes from her weakness. I didn’t know how to explain it to him. I was pleased with the visit, and I believed I did the right thing.
A few days later, Mazen was still upset. We continued to have an almost identical conversation about it: same questions, same points made, same responses, and same explanations. We were getting nowhere. It was past ridiculous.
Even now, while having breakfast together on this special day – we were still going on about it.
“I’ve told you over and over again, Marie – I’m pleased with your accomplishment, but I also believe it could’ve been handled differently,” Mazen said.
“And I’ve asked you over and over again to tell me what else I should have done, but you haven’t produced any other solution,” I said back, already frustrated with the topic.
“Any other way would’ve been better than making Omran think that he has any kind of power over us. I should put him in prison if he objects, not ask for his approval for how I rule my Kingdom!” Mazen’s irritation was finally surfacing.
“Which would mean bloodshed, exactly what I was trying to avoid!”
“There must have been a way to avoid bloodshed without demeaning our dignity.”
“Our dignity is untouched, and I did what I thought best. Sheikh Omran wanted us to be angry with him and all of the Bedouins. He wanted us to punish the servants, and show our disrespect for him so they would have a good excuse for a revolution and get themselves separated from the Kingdom. I left him with no choice but to follow the rules, and spoke nothing of the servants,” I explained, yet again.
“But how will we solve the servant problem? We need more than we have, and we can only trust Bedouins inside our rooms,” Mazen said. The reason the majority of the servants were Bedouins was that we could trust their loyalty. Bedouins had sworn to protect our food, possessions and personal safety inside our wings, and they never take their promises back.
“Rosanna is taking care of it,” I promised. “We’ll hire new ones for the outside areas, and move the most trustworthy remaining servants inside our wings,” I told him.
“This hasn’t happened for ages, Marie. It has always been the Bedouins.” Mazen pulled on his hair in frustration.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise you it will. Please, let’s stop having this conversation. It will ruin our day, and this day is very important to me.”
Mazen let out a long exhale, got up and walked the two steps that separated us, then bent down and kissed my hair. “I’m sorry, princess. I’m just trying to see the whole case from every side – it’s a significant matter. I don’t mean to ruin our special day. Forgive me.” He gave my shoulder a light squeeze.
I smiled at him. “It’s okay, angel. I know you mean well. I just wish you’d let it go. I’ve got this, and you need to trust my judgment a little bit more.”
“I do,” he said quickly. “I know you want the best for our Kingdom.”
I nodded, smiling. “Let’s finish our breakfast. Dr. Maya must be waiting for us.”
About an hour later, I was lying on the bed in the palace clinic. My stomach was exposed, and Mazen was holding my hand while sitting next to my bed, his head so close to mine that I could actually feel his breath on my cheek.
The atmosphere had changed entirely. We were two very excited parents watching their unborn child on the monitor as Dr. Maya moved the ultrasound device all over my baby bump.
Mazen and I were all smiles as we watched our baby’s figure, so tiny and beautiful. I could only think of how I couldn’t wait to hug my baby; just the thought made my eyes tear up. I had wished for this baby for what seemed like forever, and I couldn’t wait for the moment when I could hold him or her in my arms, and shower it with all the love I had in my heart. I was confident Mazen felt the exact same way.
“You might want to look away now, Your Majesty, if you don’t wish to know the baby’s gender, yet.” Dr. Maya said to Mazen, and he nodded, smiling. He then kissed the back of my hand that he was holding and pretended as if he found my rings to be the most amusing thing ever, fidgeting with them as our doctor continued her work.
I chuckled as I watched him, then turned my attention back to the screen, where I could see my baby moving right before my eyes.
“Well, that will be all, Your Majesties,” Dr. Maya said, her smile nearly as wide as mine. “Everything is going perfectly fine; you have a healthy baby growing in there.”
Mazen kissed my hand, then my hair; the joy in his eyes was everything. “Thank you, Dr. Maya,” he said.
“You’re very welcome, Your Majesty. Excuse me, I have to send a message to Princess Rosanna.”
My heart started beating fast. I nodded my head, waiting as the nurse wiped the gel off of my skin, then Mazen helped me up and off the bed.
“Are you excited, princess?”
“Are you kidding me, Your Majesty?”
I knew that the next hour or so would be exceedingly long.
It was Rosanna’s idea to have a big gender reveal, but from what I saw, big wasn’t the right word; it was huge. She’d issued an open invitation to the entire Kingdom, and I was amazed at the number of people who came to share this special moment with us. It was almost as big as the coronation.
The last gender reveal in the royal family had been Janna’s, over nineteen years ago. Rosanna described it with one word: boring. Apparently, it was just Mazen’s father announcing that they were waiting for a girl. End of story.
Now that Rosanna was old enough to plan the event, she wanted it to be as big as she could make it. I think I loved her even more for it.
So, Mazen and I were standing on the balcony of the palace, watching the people who’d gathered outside, holding up tiny flags that were colored in pink and baby-blue colors, with big grins. All of them cheered and whistled as they waited for the big news.
My heart was pounding, and I could feel Mazen’s doing the same as he held me close to his body with my left shoulder flat to his chest. Our excitement grew as we waited for the right time to signal the royal guards to open the boxes.
When Rosanna gave the thumbs up, we learned that they were ready for our signal of approval. I looked at the boxes lined up on the road in the middle of the palace’s front garden. I saw the royal guards standing beside each box, watching us carefully.
“Are you ready, princess?” Mazen asked.
I turned my head to look at him and squeezed his hand that was over my shoulder. “I was never more ready.”
With a broad smile, Mazen raised his hand, giving the signal to open the boxes.
Despite the fact that I’d been waiting for that moment for what felt like ages, the second I saw the guards opening the boxes to release the balloons inside, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before releasing it.
The cheers from the audience became louder. It was almost deafening, and the thumping in my chest grew even stronger and faster. My eyes were still closed as I heard Mazen’s cry, “Ya Allah! Alhamdulilah! Alhamdulilah!”
The butterflies in my stomach moved their wings in a frenzy, and before I could open my eyes, Mazen’s chest blocked my vision as he hugged me tightly, repeating ‘Alhamdulilah’ over and over again, almost hysterically.
“May God bless and grant him a long and a happy life,” Mazen said. “My life only keeps getting better with you in it, Marie.”
I swallowed thickly, looking up at Mazen’s joyful eyes, not believing my own ears. “Him?” I asked in a whisper. I was surprised that Mazen could actually hear me over the noise around us.
My husband chuckled. “Yes, princess. Him. Look around you!”
I turned my head and saw the sky filled with baby-blue balloons. I could never explain how ecstatic I was, nor could I ever explain the happy tears that fell from my eyes as I heard the cheers of ‘Long live the King! Long live the Queen! And long live the Crown Prince!’ I had to hug Mazen again as I cried, “Oh, my God. Praise the Lord.”
Life couldn’t be any more perfect, Mazen and I were having a son: Adam.
For the third day in a row, I woke up to the sound of beeping, the most annoying kind of alarm. It was horrible.
“Dear God!” It was the first thing I said as I rolled onto my back, covering my face with both of my hands in frustration.
“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, we need to get you out of here!” one of the female royal guards yelled as she rushed into my bedroom.
Of course!
“I’m fine!” I yelled back.
“We need to get you out of here,” she said again.
With the help of another royal guard, they whisked me right off the bed.
“I need my robe,” I said. There was no way I was leaving my wing with a nightgown again.
Just as I was leaving my room, I heard my phone going off. “Give it to me, please,” I said to one of the royal guards.
Of course, it was Mazen. At least this time he only called, instead of flying from his office on the first floor all the way here again.
“I’m fine,” I said when I picked up.
“Thank God, you are.” He sounded relieved.
“Don’t you all know what it is by now? Is clearing the wing really necessary?”
“Of course, it is, princess. We wouldn’t want to assume the boy cried ‘wolf’” he said, and I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “I’m glad it’s nothing. I have to go now. I love you.”
I cried in frustration once he hung up, standing outside of my wing surrounded by my guards. They were so dramatic.
“Please, come with us to–”
I interrupted my guard by walking away, knowing fully well that both of them would be right behind me.
I made it all the way to the wing opposite from mine – Rosanna’s.
“I would like to meet with Princess Rosanna, please,” I said to one of the royal guards standing by the main door to her wing. I went against protocol by asking to see Rosanna myself, instead of coursing the request through the palace managers or even one of my servants. I couldn’t care less about that at the moment.
“Of course, Your Majesty,” he said, pointing to one of Rosanna’s female guards, who assisted me inside the wing and to the living room, where I paced the floor, too frustrated to sit down.
Not a minute later, Darin – Rosanna’s new maid – appeared, looking troubled, which made me frown.
“Uh, um … welcome, Your Majesty,” she said, “Uh, I’m so sorry, but – uh, Princess Rosanna told me to inform you that she has immigrated to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.”
My frown deepened for a second, then it dawned on me what Rosanna was doing. “She’s in her bedroom, isn’t she?” I asked, and the troubled girl only nodded, biting her bottom lip and looking down.
My legs took me to the closest secret door, and after a fast scan around the room, I spotted Rosanna in bed, hiding under the covers.
I marched over and yanked the covers off; she was completely still.
“Seriously? Are you going to play dead now?” I demanded, hands on hips and everything.
She didn’t reply, but I could see her shaking as she tried to stifle her laughter.
“You think it’s funny? This is the third day in a row that I’ve woken up to a blaring fire alarm. The girl you hired is clueless!”
“Marie, I know you’re upset, but flashing me a full boob is cruel and unusual punishment,” she giggled, pointing at me.
I looked down to see what she was talking about. My robe had opened a bit, and sure enough, there was a nipple peeking out from my nightgown.
I swatted her hand away, “Jerk!” I said before fixing my silk robe back in place.
“She’s cooking breakfast again?” Rosanna chortled.
“What do you think? I swear I freak out every time she goes into the kitchen. Yesterday she put the kettle on the stove to make Mazen some tea, for God’s sake!”
“So?” Rosanna frowned, looking confused.
“The electric kettle!”
“Oh, my God!”
“Exactly! I’m telling you, she’s very clueless!”
“And that’s exactly why I hired her – she’s trustworthy.”
“Not inside the kitchen, I promise you.”
“But she cleans like a pro; she is a pro.”
“Well, that’s something I can’t argue with. Everything is spotlessly clean, but I really don’t want to burn to death at her hand.”
Rosanna only giggled, and I glared at her just for a second before I laughed along with her.
“She’ll do better, give her a chance until we find another.”
“Whatever!” I shook my head, “I really need to pee, may I use your bathroom. I don’t think I can hold it all the way to mine.”
“Too much information, dude! Just go!”
It was unbelievable how everything in Rosanna’s wing matched mine, with only a few of the decorations that were different. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought it to be my own.
As I was washing my hands, I noticed something on the floor. I turned my head to see what it was, and I found it to be an object that I had seen so many times before. I was sure that Rosanna had seen it even more times than I did – a used pregnancy test.
I didn’t need to take a closer look to know the result, given that it was on the floor right next to the trashcan. Likely, she threw it in frustration since it wasn’t a successful aim.
My chest tightened, knowing full well that she’d probably just taken the test minutes before I arrived. I had seen her bloodshot eyes, but I’d thought it was because she’d just woken up, though that was stupid of me. Like Mazen, she would’ve woken up early for the first prayer of the day. Her eyes were red because she’d been crying.
I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, then came out of the bathroom. Rosanna was in a silky blue robe in front of her window, gazing out of it and looking completely lost in her thoughts.
“Hey!” I said.
Rosanna smiled. “Darin has just finished making breakfast. Please, stay.”
“Trying to pay me off with food?”
“Very much,” she chuckled lightly.
I couldn’t believe how Rosanna was able to pull herself together this way; she looked completely fine, without a care in the world. But I was her best friend, and now that I’d seen the used pregnancy test, I was sure she was pretending.
How I wished to tell her she could share her thoughts, that she didn’t need to fake it with me, that I knew how much she was hurting right now. But I didn’t want her to think I was prying on her or her life somehow. Instead, I waited for her to tell me on her own terms, at her own time, and, eventually, she did.
There were tears and choked words, hand holding, and tight hugs. One thing she said felt like someone had just stabbed me right in the gut.
“Could it be that we’re not ready to be parents yet, Marie?” Rosanna wondered with tears running down her rosy cheeks. “I know that God has a plan for everything, but I keep thinking that maybe our love is not strong enough for us to be blessed with a baby to share it with.”
When a guard told me I could go back to my wing, I did. I was running late, and everyone was waiting for me. As I took my shower and got ready, Rosanna never disappeared from my thoughts.
Although I was an hour behind schedule, instead of going to the office right away, I went to my chapel. I got on my knees and held my cross after making the sign of the cross, and I prayed.
I prayed for Rosanna with the same passion I had prayed for myself when I was craving a pregnancy. I prayed – maybe like I had never prayed before. I shed tears as I asked God to bless her and Prince Fahd with a child that would light up their lives like He had blessed us with Adam.
I prayed, and I trusted in God. He never failed.
By the end of the day, I was dead on my feet. I couldn’t wait for Mazen to get back so I could cuddle him senseless; only his hug would make me forget my weariness.
When he finally made it home, I welcomed him with a warm smile and a hug, but he barely hugged me back, and his face was gloomy. I was instantly worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “You look like you’ve just seen a murder.”
Mazen’s sad eyes looked straight into mine before he replied, “I did.”