There is no feeling in the world that is as good and empowering as the feeling of life growing inside of you, especially when it’s the baby of the one you love more than air and light. The fruit of your love, and the answer to your prayers.
Other than the fact that I would eventually meet my son, what I loved the most about being pregnant was that I had spent almost every day of it being held and handled with care by my husband, my Mazen.
“Breathe,” he said softly in my ear. “Let it out slowly, princess.” I did as he was telling me. “That’s it, very good. Do it again,” he encouraged.
His hands were on my hips, and sometimes they were on my lower back where he would rub it in a soothing motion that made me feel very relaxed.
“That’s good, Your Majesty,” Doctor Maya said. “Carbon dioxide makes the pain feel even stronger, that’s why you need not hold it in. Imagine my finger is a candle and you’re trying to blow it out.” She put her pointer finger near my mouth, and I started blowing air towards it. “Perfect! You can do it whenever you feel a contraction nearing as well as during. It will help a lot.”
“I think it’s helping with the pain I’m feeling in my lower back now,” I told her, nodding, and Mazen’s hands started rubbing that spot even more carefully. I was continually feeling pain nowadays. With less than one week until I was due, Dr. Maya said that was normal.
“Exactly,” she smiled, and Mazen kissed my hair, then he started rubbing my shoulders. My back was touching his chest as I sat between his legs on the floor, and his warm breaths on my neck were so calming. It was like magic, always like magic.
“Do you think we’re ready, Doctor?” Mazen asked.
“I believe so, Your Majesty,” she responded. “Both of you know all of the techniques – how to lessen the pain, and how to breathe the right way. And you know how to be supportive during labor, Your Majesty. That’s just as important.”
“He’s always been supportive, pregnant or not,” I told her after moving my head to the side to look him in the eyes. Mazen kissed me on the cheek; his eyes were brimming with affection, and that warmed my heart.
“That’s very sweet. God bless,” Dr. Maya said with a smile. “There’s just one thing that I need to talk to you about.”
My smile dropped as I felt her tone turn all serious. “Should we be concerned?”
“Not very much, Your Majesty.”
My mouth went dry. I looked at Mazen again, my eyes filled with worry. He offered me a tight smile and a light squeeze then sat beside me and held my hand.
“Tell us, please,” Mazen said quietly.
In the mere seconds that Dr. Maya took to answer Mazen, I was already feeling my mouth drying. I started thinking about all of the possibilities of having found blood on my panties two days ago. But she had examined me and said everything was fine. What was going on now?
“You see, when we did the ultrasound last time, I found out that the baby is a bit smaller than the normal size. I figured it’s going to be better with the medications I’ve given you, but he’s still – um, just a little bit underweight, you could say,” she said.
I gulped. “Is that very bad?” I held my breath waiting for her to answer.
“It’s not dangerous, Your Majesty. It’s only a little concerning. If you give birth at any time now, there’s a good chance the baby will be put in the NICU for several days, long enough to gain some weight. I’m still hoping that in the remaining week, we will be able to get him in healthier shape so we could avoid that.”
“There are many other types of medication we could use to help the placenta work more efficiently, so nutrients and blood flow more easily to the baby,” Mazen said. “Is that something that would work for us?”
“That’s true, Your Majesty. I’ll prescribe Her Majesty seven shots – one daily until the due date. I’m sure it will help a lot.” Dr. Maya smiled again, but my concerns didn’t allow me to smile back at her.
Mazen squeezed my hand. “Inshallah. We can do that,” he said to her, then he turned to look at me. “We’ve got this, princess. It will be okay.”
I believed in what he said.
Sometimes Mazen said things that were too crazy, like insisting that I looked beautiful in my purple dress, or that I looked like a movie star attending the Oscars, and even prettier than Miss Universe.
He was such a liar. I looked fat. Period.
Sometimes I felt like my stomach was about to explode. I guess it was normal with my due date just three days away. I felt so heavy, and it wasn’t as easy as it used to be to move around. My flat shoes looked ridiculous with the elegant dress I was wearing, but that was unavoidable.
This school was a dream come true. This was something that I wanted to do forever, not just a bit more than a year ago. I’d always loved helping others, especially those who couldn’t get the basic things in life such as an education.
My heart was thumping very hard against my chest as I untied the bow on the entrance while they declared the school open – I was delighted. In just a few hours, the school day would start.
Everything was happening at a crazy pace. I wanted badly to have the school ready for this year, and I got my wish. I had worked hard on it, but if it wasn’t for Rosanna’s help – I couldn’t have done it, not at all.
While I was on stage saying a few words, I couldn’t contain my smile. The love and pride in Mazen’s eyes couldn’t be questioned.
“Last year when I was here in Al’ameria, something happened that even my husband has yet to hear about,” I said, and Mazen’s smile was beautiful as he waited for me to tell my story.
“I met a wonderful child; he was only three years old. He told me that his name was Mazen, and he had absolutely no idea who I was.” I paused as I recalled the sweet memory. “He was determined that I buy a pack of gum from him.
“The little boy who was named after my husband couldn’t even count his age on his fingers, but he knew that one pack of gum cost one pound and two packs cost two pounds, that was all. He wanted to provide for his sick mother and little sister back at home.” I took a second to collect myself as I felt my eyes well up with tears.
“I was amazed by how mature this sweet, innocent child was. He only had one goal which he worked hard for it: He wanted to feed his family. No three-year-old should have such a burden. He should only worry about when he may get his next toy. Actually, he should never worry at all.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet him again, but the little boy named Mazen is the reason this school was built. He inspired it—a private school where he won’t have to worry about how to pay for his education. And hopefully, his mother will find medical treatment at Queen Marie’s Hospital. It would be one of my biggest dreams come true, to know that I was able to help that family, and maybe many other more.
“My other wish is that his sister will get the same education when she’s old enough to go to school because educating girls is the real win from all of this.
“I’ve always said it, believed in it and loved it. If you educate a woman, you educate a family. If you educate a girl, you educate a future.”
The applause of the audience forced me to pause, and my smile grew wider as I saw how Mazen was cheering me on by his clapping.
“I’ve planted the seed, and I can’t wait to see the results. I know they will be remarkable. I know it in my heart.”
Hand in hand, we took a walk on the beach; the sun was setting, and the weather was beautiful. We meandered; the air between us was light, and amazingly wonderful. We finally had time to ourselves.
We had just celebrated the second anniversary of our real wedding. We had delayed celebrating until we finished all of our duties before Adam arrives.
Then Eid Aladha was upon us, and we couldn’t leave. As the ruling family, we needed to celebrate it with the rest of the Kingdom, and then it was the opening of the school.
It was just today – two days before I was due – that we were able to relax, sleep until noon and cuddle until it was almost sunset. Mazen presented me with another charm to add to my gold bracelet, a bright heart-shaped diamond lock that represented our marriage and love.
Over the past year, Mazen had filled my bracelet with all kinds of charms. He gifted them to me on special occasions, also when there were none –there was hardly room for more.
My most favorite ones were a black diamond key, a baby bottle charm, and now the diamond lock. Although all of them were beautiful, those were the ones that I loved the most.
Mazen raised our joined hands and kissed the back of mine. “I can’t believe it’s been two years already,” he said. “It felt like the blink of an eye.”
“I feel the same,” I told him. “They say it’s how you feel when you are having a good time.”
“Best time, princess.” He kissed the back of my hand again and put it to his chest as we stopped for a minute to gaze into each other’s smiling eyes.
“And next year we’ll have our son with us,” I dreamed aloud.
“Yes!” Mazen grinned. “He’ll probably be walking by this time next year.”
I rested my head on Mazen’s chest, shutting my eyes tightly as I got overwhelmed by the thought of Adam walking with us on this very beach, each of his hands being held by one of us. I pictured lots of laughs and beautiful times. I pictured our love grow even bigger; I imagined it being enough for the whole world, and maybe a bit more.
I imagined utter joy and complete bliss.
“What are you thinking about?” Mazen asked when I stayed quiet for a while, before kissing my hair.
“You. Adam. Us,” I admitted in a whisper, my eyes still closed. “I’m so happy with you, angel.”
Mazen hugged me tighter, pressing me more into his chest while being careful not to put much pressure on my stomach, although I was sure that our son could feel it because right at that second, I felt a light kick. It was his way of telling us that he could feel our love, I liked to believe.
“You make me so happy, as well, Marie.”
I backed away the tiniest bit to look into his eyes, where I only found sincere love like always.
“I do?”
“Are you really asking that?” His hand – the one that wasn’t holding my hand to his chest – touched my cheek sweetly.
“Maybe I just want to hear it more often.”
“I’m the happiest man on earth, and I will always be, as long as you’re with me. I’m so proud of you, for everything you do, for simply being you.”
I smirked at him. “Is that a poem?”
“No, princess.” He smiled back. “It’s what is truly in my heart. I have no doubt that I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“I could say the same, angel. I wish I could give you everything you want.”
“Your love is all I need, Marie,” he said. “I truly mean it.”
There was no end to the happiness I felt at that moment.
Only Mazen and I knew the passwords to the fridge, and to the locked boxes of food prepared by Queen Mother Shams. Each time we needed to eat something, Mazen had to get the meals out himself, and then Fawaz or Mo’taz stayed with Sameera and the other maids until it was served to us. I’d already given Brad a month break, and he was spending it in the states.
Preparing the food that way was kind of an annoying process, but it was necessary. We didn’t know how long this would continue, or if it would ever end.
The fact that we still didn’t know who had poisoned the horses was very worrying. But our investigators kept reaching dead ends.
I tried not to let my anxiety get the best of me. Worrying was useless, it was also bad for the baby. But sometimes, it was difficult not to overthink things; my mind never stopped wondering.
The hospital almost had even more protection than our own palace in the capital, as the staff got ready for the birth. I wasn’t worried one bit about my safety. I was just worried about Adam.
I wanted this baby so much, and so did Mazen.
It was exciting knowing that it would be only two days until I could meet him, but at the same time – it was scary. However, I knew how to pray, and pray I did.
I had only three shots left to complete the course of treatment the doctor had given me. I prayed with my whole heart that Adam would be at a healthy weight and born without complications. It was all I needed, and all I could think about.
“Did it hurt?” Mazen asked as he finished giving me the fifth shot.
“Not much,” I said, feeling him as he fondled my backside, way far from where he had injected me. “That’s not professional, at all, Your Majesty.”
“Who said I was trying to be professional?” I could hear the smile in his voice even with my back turned to him.
“Stop it, you nut. I still can’t feel my hips,” I pulled my panties back in place and turned to give him a pretend frown.
“Oh, but I was gentle, wasn’t I?” Mazen’s smile dropped. He thought he was rough with me when we made love an hour ago.
“No, you were fine. It’s just the norm, right? My body is preparing for the delivery.”
Mazen nodded, then after a pause, “I was fine? Just fine?” he asked, looking offended.
I shrugged, then walked out of the room before he could chase after me. He’d play nice in front of the maids, being King and all.
My laughter rang all through the living room when he had to turn all serious the second he stepped out of the room. I sat down as we waited for dinner, and pretended not to pay any attention when Mazen sat in front of me while I flipped TV channels.
It was very relaxing, almost like our honeymoon all over again. Well, aside from the baby bump, of course. We were carefree and happy, just waiting for the most awaited day and the most precious gift from God to arrive, our son.
It was everything.
We chatted as we ate dinner. I felt hungry, but I was full after just a few bites – one of the joys of pregnancy. I stayed at the dining table, though, sipping on my drink until Mazen finished.
Just as the table was being cleared, Faris rushed in, looking troubled ― which was concerning. Officer Fawaz always knew how to keep a straight face, just like his king.
“Your Majesty, I have bad news,” he said. My hand flew to my cross. Had there been another terrorist attack? The thought was sickening.
“What is it?” Mazen asked in a stern voice.
“Queen Mother Shams had an accident,” Fawaz said, and my eyes widened even more.
“Oh, no!” I gasped, but Mazen stayed composed. “What happened?” I asked, horrified.
“Is she okay?” my husband asked, his voice still firm. His composure amazed me.
“I’m afraid not, Your Majesty.” Fawaz looked sorrowful. “She’s been admitted to the hospital to get all of the medical care she might need.”
“Hospital?” I repeated the word in a question. The palace had enough medical equipment on the first floor which was almost a small hospital. So, for her to need to go to a real hospital – it meant that it was dire. Very dire.
Mazen pulled his hair in frustration. I touched his arm in a comforting gesture, hoping that my closeness would calm the emotions that must have been churning inside him.
“Put me on the phone with the doctor attending to her,” Mazen said, his eyes reddening just the slightest. My heart was aching for him.
“Doctor Karam is already on the phone, Your Majesty,” Fawaz said as he handed him the phone.
Mazen didn’t say more than a handful of words; mostly, he just listened to the doctor. I observed as the conversation went on, and I could tell the news was terrible by how tightly his jaw was clenched.
“What is it?” I asked once he hung up the phone.
“She’s in serious condition,” he said.
Merciful Lord!
For a long moment, he froze in place, as if he didn’t know how to act or where to go.
“We need to be with her, we need to fly back to Aldeera, now!” I said without missing a beat.
“No!” Mazen said. “You can’t be on a plane again too soon; it’s very dangerous for the baby.”
“He’ll be fine, I’m just two days away from my due date, angel,” I argued, knowing very well that I shouldn’t.
“No, Marie. Stop. The doctor said no more traveling for you until you give birth. Every day spent inside your stomach is better for the baby than ten days out of it.”
“We can’t leave your mother there all by herself, Mazen.”
Mazen only pressed his lips together into a tight line and pulled on his hair again. He wouldn’t let me go with him, and I couldn’t let him stay by my side while his mom needed him beside her.
“You should go,” I told him.
He shook his head. “I can’t leave you alone.”
“I’ll be fine, Mazen. You need to be with your mother, at least until she’s stable,” I pushed. “We’ll talk on the phone every minute if you want. It’ll be okay, just go.”
It took him another long pause before he huffed and then nodded. He then directed his words to Faris, who was still standing in the living room waiting for his orders. “Get me a helicopter while I change my clothes.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Faris said as Mazen rushed to the stairs. Before I knew it, he was back and dressed in his formal clothes.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, worry filling his eyes and tone.
“I’ll be fine, trust me.”
Mazen placed his palms on my face, then kissed my forehead and my cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop it,” I whispered, my throat tightening as I saw how wretched he felt. “I’m fine. Go take care of her.”
“I’m just a phone call away, okay?” he said, to which I nodded with the little space he gave me. “You’ll call me the second you need me, right?” I nodded again.
Before I could reply, we heard the annoying noise of the helicopter approaching, and then Faris announced its already-known arrival. “The helicopter is here, Your Majesty.”
Mazen looked deep into my eyes and then kissed my forehead again. “Take care of yourself and our baby until I come back and take care of you again. Okay, princess?”
I swallowed thickly. I didn’t know why I was so emotional – was it because of how sorry I felt for his mother? Or for him? Or for myself? It just felt so bad altogether that I wanted to cry.
“I will,” I choked out, and then Mazen offered me the saddest of smiles, he kissed my head, then backed away.
It was only a second after he left the room that my tears started to fall. In the very next second, Mazen was in the room again, taking me by surprise and planting a passionate kiss on my mouth.
He wiped my tears away with his thumbs once our kiss was broken, then he kissed my lips lightly one more time. “I love you, princess,” he whispered. “I’ll be with you in the morning, I promise.”
It was the first and only time that Mazen couldn’t keep his promise to me.