For the first time ever, Fawaz put his hands on me and started pulling me away. He had never, ever touched me before, and that alone was enough to nearly send me into a panic attack. For him to do that, it only meant the danger we were in was very real.
“Please come with me, Your Majesty,” Fawaz said.
“What’s going on?” I asked in a terrified voice.
“We don’t know anything yet,” Fawaz said as he quickly escorted me to where the cars were parked just a few yards away. “but we have to follow His Majesty’s orders.”
My legs weren’t cooperating as they should. I was too worried about Mazen’s safety. I wanted him to be with me. I couldn’t understand anything – why wasn’t he being protected if there was a danger?
As I was about to get in the car, I heard screams of joy suddenly join the loud music and sounds of celebration. I looked back, even though Mazen had told me not to.
There were at least five guards standing shoulder to shoulder forming a human fence behind me, and blocking my view of the festivities. I could barely see what was going on. I caught just the tiniest bit of the scene occurring near the spot I had just left, and I immediately wished I hadn’t.
A man was holding up a white sheet that had bloody red spots. His eyes were filled with joy, pride, and maybe even victory as everyone circled him and jumped up and down.
My stomach dropped once I realized what just happened — a Common Deflowering.
Everything happened in no more than two seconds – just two, from seeing what was going on, to looking into the horrified eyes of my husband, to my vision being blocked by more guards right after.
It all happened in slow motion, sickening moments passed by in what felt like ages. I saw my husband pressing his lips tightly and shaking his head as he caught me sneaking a look between the guards’ shoulders. I could swear that Mazen was close to tearing up.
I couldn’t feel anything after that. My mind went into a frenzy, or it had become frozen and blank all of a sudden? I didn’t know.
I couldn’t remember how I returned to the palace. I couldn’t remember Hana helping me out of my clothes. I had no idea how long I stayed in shock. The scene of the bloody sheets being celebrated repeated itself over and over as I sat on my bed with tears streaming down my cheeks.
My first anchor to reality came when Mazen’s arms surrounded me in the tightest of hugs. He was very loving, and his warmth and closeness brought me out of my stupor.
“I came as fast as I could,” he said, as if apologizing for leaving me.
“They were celebrating it, Mazen,” I blurted out. They were the first words to come out of my mouth since I’d left the wedding.
Everything about what happened hurt me more than I could ever say, but the image of them celebrating reminded me of hunters who cruelly killed animals, then stood on their bodies to take pictures. It was as savage as that.
“Shhhh,” Mazen said into my hair, his arms tightening around me. “Please try not to think about it, please. It will only hurt you.”
“It hurts so bad,” I cried out. The scene that was repeating in my head had morphed — now, I saw the images of myself lying on the very bed I was in. In my head, I saw myself surrounded by women who were forcing me down and trying to push my legs apart. I imagined Donia, the sweet girl with shy eyes being forced down the same way, with nobody there to save her. I saw her being violated in the most humiliating way with no way of being able to defend herself. My heart was breaking as one image after another played in my mind.
“I know, princess, I know,” Mazen said sweetly, his tone sad and desperate. “I didn’t want you to see anything. I knew this was going to happen.”
“You knew they were going to do that to her?” I backed away to look into his eyes with my teary ones. I was in shock.
“No, no! I mean I knew you were going to react this way. Sheikh Omran told me that you could join the women, that it would be an honor if you were there. It was then that I realized what was about to happen.”
“He wanted me to witness it?”
“Shhh, it’s the norm for them, Marie, they’ve done it for decades. I didn’t say anything to him. I just knew I had to get you out of there. I knew it would upset you.”
I cried into his chest as he hugged me again. Upset wasn’t the right word to describe how I was feeling.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come with you right away, princess. I had to stay so as not to offend them. I told them you weren’t feeling well and had to leave. They were convinced of that, especially after seeing you throw up.”
I didn’t even remember that I vomited. I didn’t remember anything about the ride home. There was only Donia’s face and the white sheet with blood on my mind, nothing else.
“Such an animalistic act. No, even animals are more compassionate towards each other than that. It was just barbaric!” That was the best description I could come up with.
“It is. You need to relax now.”
“I can’t get it out of my head,” I said in a small voice, tears still falling out of my eyes.
“Please, try. For me,” he begged.
There weren’t many words spoken between us after that. Mazen stayed with me until I stopped crying, knowing very well that his nearness was all I needed to feel better. But he didn’t know that I wouldn’t let something like that go without me trying to put an end to it.
I already failed Mona and victims like her; but I wasn’t going to fail those who could be future victims of the barbaric practice of Common Deflowering. I was going to put a halt to it, and there was nothing that would stop me.
It seemed like burying my pain had become my norm. Every single day something would happen, something bad. It would remind me of an awful event, or cause me heartache and anxiety, and I would simply swallow it and bury it deep down.
Mazen had no trouble listening about things that made me uncomfortable. He’d do his best, and more, to make sure that I was okay with this or that, but he also had countless responsibilities and infinite duties – and I never wanted to add more to them.
As days passed, I learned how to control my emotions, to a point. I learned when to show them, and when to hide them far away. With time, I learned when to ask for help, and when to ask for advice or an opinion. I learned when to accept them, and when to dismiss them.
I learned to suffer in silence, even while knowing there were so many people who would share my pain with open arms and help me through it. I’d learned how to be Queen.
For the next two weeks, I worked silently and alone, trying to come up with the best plan I could concoct to make the world around me change for the better.
There were no laws against the Common Deflowering practice, and creating a new one that punished whoever forced a girl into going through it was the place to start.
I didn’t go to my mother-in-law for advice this time, because she’d already told me all about it while discussing the matter of ‘Marry Her and Get Away with Rape’. I didn’t ask Rosanna about anything either, since I’d already covered much of the material.
It was like repeating everything I’d worked on just a few weeks ago for the sake of victims of rape. I didn’t care any less about rape victims; I just kept hitting brick walls and could never find an out, no matter what I tried. Unlike then, I wasn’t going to give up now, it wasn’t an option.
Maybe because I’d experienced it firsthand, I was so invested in finding a way to solve this? It could be.
I knew I would have to go to Mazen to get his agreement and support on the new law. Surely Mazen wanted that practice gone forever, right? I knew he did.
From the outside, I looked okay to everyone. But inside, I was a mess. The inner determination I had to create this new law was the only thing that was keeping me together.
So, as I was having lunch with Rosanna, I appeared composed and carefree, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the possibilities and difficulties regarding what I was working on. Every feeling grew more intense as I thought about how many victims of this practice were suffering right now because I wasn’t working fast enough.
“I’m pretty sure the hospital will be finished by May,” Rosanna said, before taking a bite of her bread.
“Really? That’s fantastic news,” I said cheerfully. I hadn’t expected it to take less than a year to be built and open.
“Yes. I’m thinking we could schedule the grand opening on your birthday.” Rosanna smiled.
“Aww! That’s very thoughtful of you. I have to admit it’d be the best birthday gift ever.”
“No, it’s not a gift for you,” she said. “It’s a gift for us. A celebration of the day you were born.”
“You’re so sweet, Rosanna. Thank you,” I said, her words warming my heart.
“I mean it, you did everything you could to help this kingdom. You worked so hard to build the hospital and school as soon as possible, with funds coming from your own pocket no less. And I haven’t even mentioned anything about all of the new factories under construction.”
“I didn’t pay for the factories.” I tried to hide my shyness. I was never very good at receiving compliments.
“Still, you planned them all. The job opportunities alone are enough to make Al’ameria better than any other princedom in the country, like it used to be years ago.”
“I hope so; it would be a dream come true.”
“You’ll see,” Rosanna smiled back before taking a sip from her drink.
“You know, this is the first time I’ve seen you drink coffee,” I said, taking a forkful of food.
“Oh, that’s not coffee.”
“It’s not?” I asked, wrinkling my nose, because what was warm and black other than coffee?
Rosanna shook her head. “No, it’s herbs. A huge mix of herbs.”
“Herbs? What for? Are you feeling unwell?” I asked, suddenly worried about my best friend.
“Not really. It’s some sort of recipe to help me, er, get pregnant.”
My mouth dropped. “Are you serious?”
“Okay, I’m desperate.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll try anything,”
“Let me see that.” I took the cup from her hand and examined it, raising it near my nose and inhaling. I couldn’t help but gag. “Jeez, what the heck is in that? Dirt mixed with sweat?” I shoved it away and rubbed my nose to get rid of the lingering smell.
Rosanna started giggling at my reaction. “You get used to it.”
“No thanks. I’ll pass.”
She took another sip and I gagged again from watching her drink such an awful thing, which made her chuckle.
“When are you due to have your period?” she asked.
“Eh, today, actually.”
“Really? Did you take a test this morning?”
“Well, no, I didn’t.”
“What? Why not?” she asked with wide eyes.
“What’s the point? It’s always the same. I take the test in the morning, it’s always negative, and I start my period by the end of the day,” I told her. “I’ll probably get it in a few hours. I’m just saving myself from the disappointment.”
It was Rosanna’s turn to sigh. “Well, at least it comes regularly now.” She shrugged one shoulder.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m grateful for that,” I said. “Tell me how are things between you and Prince Fahd?”
“Tense.”
“You guys need a break. Why not go to our beach mansion for a couple of days? I’m sure you’ll be able to relax there.”
“Thank you, Marie. It’s very kind of you to offer.”
“Oh, please! It’s just sitting there and collecting dust – or sand. Please, go. A change of scenery will help a lot.”
“I’m sure it would, but it’s His Highness who won’t want to go, not with things being so busy nowadays because of the conference next month. It’d also be freezing at this time of year.”
“I see. Well, the mansion is yours at any time.” I smiled.
“Thank you, really. We do have our own though.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.” I took another bite of my food.
“Yes. It’s very close to yours, actually. It used to be my grandfather’s, but he gifted it to my mother when she got married, then she gifted it to me when I did.”
“That’s really nice. We could all go someday together, the four of us.” I got all excited just at the thought.
“Yes, and pigs can fly.”
“Ugh! Fun-killer!”
“Crazy-dreamer!” she called back. “If we all leave, who will take care of things while we’re away? The royal fairies?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re being mean.”
“Eat, Your Majesty.” She giggled.
Although she was right, I couldn’t help but think of how good it would be to take a break with her. It would be unforgettable.
We were woken abruptly by banging on our bedroom door in the early hours of the morning.
“Your Majesties! Your Majesties!” Hana called from the other side.
“Come in!” I called after I shared a confused look with Mazen.
“Forgive me, Your Majesties,” Hana said apologetically. Her gaze dropped to the floor, but I could see that she was grinning from ear to ear. “but you need to see this.”
Mazen’s frown matched my own. He got up and put on his shirt while Hana handed me my robe and left in a hurry.
“What’s going on?” I asked, but Mazen put his finger to his mouth in a signal to be quiet, seemingly listening for something.
“Oh, man! It can’t be.” Mazen looked delighted all of a sudden.
“What is it?” I asked again, getting impatient as he walked to the window. He pulled the curtains aside and then let out a thrilled laugh.
“Lord! It’s raining, princess! Raining!” he said excitedly, pointing at the window and looking at me with the most adorable expression on his face.
“Really? Oh, my God!” I took a few steps closer to him, and before I could reach him, he met me halfway and took me in his arms, lifting me up and spinning us around. I squealed in excitement, laughing at his reaction to the rain and how happy he looked.
When he put me down, his lips met mine in a passionate kiss. “This is the first time it has rained in three years!” he said with amazement. “You’re our lucky charm. This is going to be a great year, my princess.”
“As long as you’re by my side, angel.” I smiled, earning another kiss that was interrupted by more banging on the door.
“Your Majesties, everyone is waiting,” Hana said through the door.
“Waiting for what?” I asked Mazen.
“I need to go and pray with the others,” he said. “The whole Kingdom will be praying now. It’s a perfect time for a prayer. Come watch!”
“Don’t you have to take a shower first?” I asked, because we had sex last night and he couldn’t go and pray unless he showered first.
“No, it’s not a regular prayer. We’ll ask God for forgiveness and more blessings. Just a dua’. Come!”
Mazen tugged me out of our bedroom, then out of the residence. All of the guards looked enormously excited, like little kids on Christmas morning; it was amazing.
My husband guided me to stand by one of the areas on our floor that had a good view of the garden situated in the center court of the palace. Everyone – male and female, royal, worker, and servant – stood in perfect rows. They weren’t doing their normal prayer; instead, they had their arms raised to the sky while they prayed for everything they desired.
I watched as Mazen joined them, taking his place in the first row behind the Sheikh who married us, and who he sought for any religious advice. Once Mazen was in place, he raised his hands too.
It was easy to hear what they were asking since the Sheikh was speaking into a microphone. It was such a special moment, I couldn’t help but smile widely as I listened to their prayers. I hugged my cross to my chest with both hands and closed my eyes, hearing every prayer the Sheikh said as the others replied with ‘Ameen’ to everything.
They were praying for God to cure the ill, to watch over the weak, and to bless them with His forgiveness. They prayed for world peace, and for all leaders on earth to rule with kind hands.
They prayed for Mazen’s and my happiness, and I couldn’t contain my smile, hearing as Hana and the female royal guards behind me said their ‘Ameen’ with such a passion that warmed my chest.
It was only when they prayed for us to have a healthy baby that my eyes snapped wide open. My throat went dry when I had remembered something.
I was a day late.