Life goes on. It really does. You go through things that you never thought would happen. You cry, you break, and life around you still goes on.
You might want time to freeze, you might want to take a break, a break from everything – from your sorrows and misery, from life. But it’s not even possible, especially when you’re King and Queen.
There was nothing in this world that would’ve stopped me from paying my respect to all of our dead as they got their burial ceremony. Mazen honored all of who died to protect us in a state funeral, befitting heroes and faithful friends. No matter how lavish the service, it would never be enough to show how much it pained us to say goodbye to them.
Physically, I had not fully recovered, but I would not be deterred from sharing my grief with the victims’ families – the heroes’ families, the soldiers who’d given their lives to save my son and me.
The most emotional family meeting was with Officer Fawaz’s fiancé, Sofia. I couldn’t help my tears when I gave her the ring he wore every day. It broke my heart that she had to say goodbye to the man who promised her a long and happy life when they would get married someday, but the life that she dreamed of in bright colors and awaited eagerly would no longer come to pass. Knowing that she could never name their baby boy after her love, Faris – gutted me.
I made sure to spend time with the families and tell them how brave their sons were, how strong and fearless, and Mazen did the same. He gave his condolences eloquently, with warm, kind words that went straight to their hearts.
The weeks that followed passed in a haze. It was difficult to get back on our feet ― and not only because of how much my body was damaged, or how much the bullet in Mazen’s shoulder had affected him.
No, it was because of all the trauma we endured.
The feelings of loss, of fear, of pain – it all lingered in our hearts, and the images of every horrible event stayed buried deep in our minds.
We both knew that we couldn’t afford to dwell on it; we had a whole nation to take care of, millions of people who were counting on us for guidance.
We had to draw strength from each other, from our love, and from our faith. We had to keep going.
“The doors open in five minutes, Your Majesties,” Brittany – one of the palace managers – announced. We were as ready as we could be, but reluctant to proceed, although we weren’t saying anything about that to each other. I still read it on Mazen’s troubled face.
He didn’t want to do it.
“Are you ready, Your Majesty?” I asked my husband, and he lied to me with a nod. “Let’s go, then,” I said, because we had to do what we had to do.
“Leave him with me,” Mazen said as I reached for our little boy to carry him outside. I didn’t know what to say to him.
“Your Majesty, it’s protocol for the Queen to carry the Crown Prince,” Brittney protested, but he didn’t pay her any attention. He dropped his hand on my shoulder and escorted me to the balcony doors on the third floor of the palace.
The doors opened, and I painted a smile on my face as we took a few steps forward. I couldn’t lie – I was worried sick.
Mazen continued to hold me tightly to his body, as if he was trying to protect me from all of the people around the palace.
Taking a look at him, I saw that he was cradling Adam securely in the crook of his arm, holding him tight to the point he was almost covering him whole. His anxious eyes darted everywhere; he didn’t even want people to get a glimpse of our son.
It was so sad.
I started waving to the crowd that came to witness the first appearance of the Crown Prince. My smile was as tight as it could get. I wasn’t doing any better than Mazen as worry about our son’s safety filled me.
“Your Majesty, you need to wave to the audience. It’s the protocol,” Yasser whispered to Mazen from behind us, but Mazen didn’t want to give me Adam, nor he wanted to let go of me.
“I know what the protocol is,” Mazen said through clenched teeth, causing Yasser to back away.
My heart hurt for my husband. He was – just like me – too concerned to have our baby out in the open for everyone to see. Not that anyone could see much of him anyway.
I wanted to show him off to the whole world, and not just to the Kingdom. I wanted people to see how handsome he was. I wanted them to see the cute baby suit that he was wearing, the one that his grandmother had gifted him before he was born. I even wanted to show them his initials that were decorated with diamonds on his shorts. But I couldn’t do any of that, even if I’d wished.
The apprehension in my heart was almost unbearable.
Getting Adam out there was one of the most stressful things we had to do. But it had to be done. We delayed his formal presentation long enough. He was three months old when he was introduced to the Kingdom, a whole month after he was released from the NICU. We ran out of excuses for why it was taking us so long to do it, especially since he was now healthy enough to live his life normally. His life as the Crown Prince.
His first appearance was such a failure, and it saddened me. No one got to see how beautiful Adam was. He was a mini-Mazen, with his bright green eyes and his pale skin; only their hair was different, but not much. It was almost the same color, however, Adam’s was a bit lighter, with a few blond locks mixed in.
Mazen was able to finally breathe when we got back inside, behind closed doors. Adam went to the safety of Mona’s arms while we went to attend the other ceremony we had that day, Honoring Sheikh Qapeel, and most importantly, honoring Officer Bassel.
In front of everyone who came to witness the first appearance of our son, and on the national TV, Mazen announced hiring Bassel as our Prime Royal Guard and awarded Bassel the most honorable medal – which was only ever given to royal family members. He had bestowed this honor for his courage and bravery in protecting me, keeping me safe, and ensuring my return to the safety of my home.
The Snake arranged for the explosion and destruction of our beach house. Her cohorts left behind evidence which lead police into thinking that the Bedouins had been the ones behind everything.
All eyes were on them; people in the Kingdom even said that it was because of the new laws which I sponsored that the Bedouins wanted to get rid of me. I found that insane – the Bedouins were much more honorable than that.
Bassel called the Bedouins because he knew he could trust them, and they wouldn’t waste one second to get to me. Also, Bassel knew that The Snake didn’t have any spies with the tribe. She wasn’t watching their movements and whereabouts like she’d been watching the palace. She wouldn’t know the Bedouins had moved to come to my rescue. Not only that, he also spoke in their dialect, knowing fully well that if someone could listen in on the call – they wouldn’t understand what they were saying.
But there was one who kept a close watch on the tribe – Fawaz. When he was informed that a large contingent of men was observed heading to Al’ameria, he’d known something was going on, but he didn’t tell Mazen because he was trying to protect him. Fawaz was well aware that if Mazen found out, he would insist on coming along, even though it was too dangerous.
What Fawaz hadn’t realized, though, was that Mazen knew something was up the moment Fawaz left him, and that something was about me. He literally had to escape from the rest of the Royal Guards with the help of my brother. He used the secret tunnels while Joseph followed Fawaz, and relayed their whereabouts to Mazen via cell-phone.
I don’t know what would’ve happened if Bassel hadn’t called in for reinforcements and our rescue. I’d probably be dead. Not only that, but it would’ve been a horrible death.
I’d read all about it in her diaries.
The Snake was, without a doubt, the evilest person I’d ever come to know – even Talia seemed to be an angel next to her. As a matter of fact, as crazy as it was, I’d started to think of Talia as her victim, not just her daughter.
Qamar wasn’t only evil, she was a complete psychopath who took pride in all of the devilish acts she inflicted on the Royal Family since the day His Royal Highness Qasem Alfaidy, God rest his soul, married Fahd and Janna’s mother, Princess Sarah.
Qamar was secretly in love with him, or maybe she was in love with his position as Crown Prince at the time. I believed that she loved the prospect of power, because someone like her could never know what true love felt like. She was incapable of that.
Her descent into madness started on the day of their wedding. In her diaries, she’d written all the things that she’d confessed to me, but in greater detail. Disgusting details. I didn’t know if I was glad or not that the Royal Guards searched her house in Paris and found her diaries. They found another one in Rosanna’s beach mansion where she’d imprisoned and tortured me.
The number of times and things she’d done to the two wives, wishing she could take their place, made me sick. They suffered from her wickedness each and every day.
She’d truly wanted to kill Mazen the day he was born, and then she’d poisoned his food twice. She’d almost murdered Prince Fahd when he was only eight years old, and succeeded in killing his mother. She’d planned and paid for it all.
It was only when she’d started plotting of how Talia could be the next queen if Mazen married her that Qamar stopped trying to end their lives. She’d raised her daughter with one goal, to be Queen. It didn’t matter who Qamar hurt on Talia’s way to the throne, she had to get there, and that was that.
Talia had taken her mother’s words to heart. It had become ingrained in her brain, in her blood, and in her soul. She’d used all of her studies and free time trying to manipulate things to work for her. She created medications that were used to harm, not cure. And she used many of her creations on Rosanna and me.
I read in The Snake’s diaries about how she’d used one of Talia’s injections on me. That was when I had that bump on my head and was unconscious for hours. I didn’t remember anything related to that incident, and that was exactly the expected result from that shot. The medication was designed to affect the victim’s short-term memory, like when a person gets really drunk. Only in this case, the dosage was stronger than the effect of two bottles of whiskey. I was fortunate that my liver wasn’t damaged after that since it was one of the known side effects, but my son didn’t have such luck.
Adam had many health problems when he was born, and it took him a long time to recover. I was thankful that he was now well after months of medical care. That was the only thing that made me wish The Snake was alive, so I could sentence her to death a few more times, if possible.
Although the way she’d died was satisfying, I still wished that she had suffered longer than it had. I would remember her screams for the rest of my life, the way she tried to run, while her body was in flames, the way she lost her balance and threw herself from the top of the staircase, the moment I heard the sound of her crashing bones joining her screams. It was all vividly clear in my head, and I couldn’t feel bad about it.
The only thing that I tried hard to forget was the cold look on Mazen’s face as he set her body on fire. His mind was paralyzed by anger – taking her life was all he could think of. When he saw the bottles of alcohol inside the room – she’d been using as hers – along with cigarettes and a lighter, he reacted. He didn’t see a better use for them than to watch the damage a lighter and alcohol put together could do to a person.
The Snake had written of the many times she’d been inside my wing with the help of the monster called Mo’taz. It had served her well that my mother-in-law was in my wing many times during the day. She’d abused Sameera’s naïveté and made her believe they were the same person.
She’d written of her frustration when she couldn’t put her hands on our food. She didn’t want to kill me, but poison me enough that I would be bedridden, and give birth to an unhealthy baby. She’d wrote that that would kill us slowly, which was what she’d wanted the most – she wanted us to suffer emotionally, mentally, more than physically.
She’d gone through my things. She’d wanted to rip them up, she said, but changed her mind at the last minute, wanting to keep the fun to the end. She’d watched me as I slept and caught herself seconds before she strangled me. She’d plotted my death as she’d spied on me from around the palace – she’d been almost everywhere.
The Snake had planned every tiny detail and knew all of the right people to use and as she’d put it, ‘knew which arms to twist’. She’d written about Bassel, and how she’d seduced him into working for her so she’d have a later use for him. Until this day I didn’t know what it could be, the same as we still didn’t know what she’d wanted to do with the map. It was only a few hours before she contacted him that she thought about having me raped. It was – to my luck – her worst mistake.
Mazen fought with me into letting go of the books where The Snake had written about it all, about her plans and how desperate she was to make our lives a living hell until she got what she wanted. I didn’t listen to him.
Reading her words made me sick, but I couldn’t stop. I had to know it all. I had to find out if there were more people that she had involved, people that we should be aware of, but apart from her husband who was banished, and associates who either died or were captured, I didn’t find anything new.
But, I was able to find the answer to why Jasem was after Janna the day I tried to escape. It was nauseating.
I continued to read each and every book, from start to finish. One of the most disgusting parts was when she convinced her daughter into giving Mo’taz her virginity so he would trust her and fall for her lies. That was how they converted Mo’taz into being a traitor. His role as a Royal Guard allowed him to grant them access to every part of the mansion. He’d given up his loyalty to the Kingdom for Talia’s body and fake promises of love.
Talia had even told him that she’d marry Mazen and have her son with Mo’taz who would become the Crown Prince. “No one will ever find out,” she’d told him. And the moron had believed her. He’d even given them his back when they’d met up on the roof of the palace.
He had passed stupidity level with miles. And that proved my point to Mazen about how Talia would’ve always found a way to get into areas in the palace where she wasn’t supposed to be.
Qamar’s daughter hadn’t been a virgin long before I came into the royal family, yet The Snake often spoke to my mother-in-law about honor and how I needed to prove my virginity to them. She had called her daily, poisoning her thoughts with how I could make her son sick with all sort of imagined disease. She’d kept pointing out to her how miserable Mazen would be in the end, and how my mother-in-law needed to prove to him that I wasn’t a virgin, and he should leave me.
She’d convinced Queen Mother Shams into performing Common Deflowering on me. It was all her.
The bombing near the hospital was her plan that ‘went wrong’ as she’d said. She’d thought that I’d be accompanying Mazen, and when we would take a break in our beach mansion, Mo’taz would kidnap me then, knowing that Mazen would leave me at some point – an hour was all she needed.
Writing in her diaries was one of The Snake’s favorite things to do. She’d thought of herself as a legend, fantasizing about history speaking about her after her death for how genius she was.
That was the only thing on which I could agree with her; she would be remembered, but in the dustbin of history.
The excitement in her eyes as she saw me making my way toward her was heartwarming. It seemed like she had been awake all night waiting for this visit since I’d requested to see her.
“Hel-lo!” she sang with happiness lighting up her whole face. It was a beautiful thing to see; she’d been miserable for the past few months.
“Your Royal Highness.” I smiled in greeting, gently placing Adam into her waiting arms.
“You’re already out of bed! Did you wake up early?”
“Oh, I barely got any sleep, waiting for my little prince to come,” she said, hardly looking at me. Adam was taking all of her attention; she loved him dearly, and I could see how much he already adored her back.
“Aw! I’d bring him every day if I could. But I don’t want to bother you; you need your rest,” I said.
“I’d never be bothered by my grandson,” she mock-gasped.
Since Adam had come into the world, I was seeing a different side of Queen Mother Shams. It was like she was a completely different person whenever they were in the same room. She would laugh and play with him until she was drained and had to be put back to bed for a much-needed rest.
Six months after the accident, she had not wholly recovered.
I nodded with a smile, “Would you like to go outside? Take a walk in the gardens?” I asked, then regret washed over me as I wished I could take my last question back. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean …”
“It’s alright, benty. I would love to. We’ll just need one of the guards,” she smiled.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it,” I said, smiling as she fixed Adam on her lap and held him tightly. I moved behind her, put my hands on the bars, then started pushing her wheelchair.
Adam let out the softest of giggles as his grandmother tickled him while we made our way to the gazebo. I wanted to make small talk with her, but I didn’t want to ruin her time with Adam – I knew she lived for those moments. Literally. She’d told me so herself.
The strangest thing she’d told me was that she loved my son even more than she loved hers. It didn’t mean that she loved Mazen any less, but her statement was to make a point on how precious Adam was to her.
Whenever we got the chance to visit, our talk was always about Adam and how he looked exactly like Mazen, more and more each day. She told me stories about Mazen when he was Adam’s age and a bit older; they were some of the nicest things I’ve ever heard.
In all honesty, I absolutely loved how Adam brought happiness to her life.
It was such a sad thing to look at her now, paralyzed from the waist down, knowing fully well that her sister was behind it. Her twin sister, that is. Qamar had converted the new gardener into her gang. He broke in through the window over the back gardens and hit Queen Mother Shams on the head with a shovel. Before he fled, he pushed a cabinet over her unconscious body so it would look like an accident, abusing the fact that he knew that area was a dead zone for the security cameras. He was found dead one week after the incident.
Not only that, she was now aware that The Snake was the reason why she couldn’t have another baby after Mazen, and the reason why I’d been kidnapped. She was wrecked when thinking of the horrible things that could’ve happened to Adam.
I was grateful that Adam brought light back into her life.
Later that afternoon, I had a family meeting with Prince Fahd and Rosanna. I met them where the cars were waiting, watching their bright smiles as they saw me approaching with Adam in my arms.
“Hey! I’m sorry I’m late,” I said, handing my son to his uncle, then hugging Rosanna in greeting.
“It’s all right. Where’s His Majesty?” Rosanna asked.
“He’ll be right behind us, he just has a few papers to look at,” I said, smiling apologetically.
“Okay, let’s get there before it gets dark,” Prince Fahd said, and I gulped – something told me it wouldn’t be all nice until the end. After all, we were going to see what Prince Fahd bought Adam as a late birthday gift.
“To the stables?” I asked as we hopped into the limousine.
“That’s right, Your Majesty. How did you know?” my brother-in-law asked.
“I made a wild guess!” I replied, to which Rosanna giggled. “Shut up,” I said under my breath.
“I can’t! You should see your face right now,” Rosanna continued to giggle like a schoolgirl, and I wanted to punch her in the boob. She had told me they were sore from breastfeeding, and that would really stop her giggles. She was lucky I loved her so much and would never do that.
“Oh, please, be a caged bird. Please, be a caged bird,” I chanted in whispers once we hopped out of the car and Prince Fahd led the way to the room where Adam’s ‘gift’ was. A bird in a cage – no matter how big it was – couldn’t be as dangerous for my baby as a big animal, right? I hoped so.
“Nuh. You’re not that lucky,” Rosanna said. “He already got that for Julia last month. A hawk.”
“You’re kidding!”
“I wish.”
“Here, Your Majesty,” Prince Fahd said, and I tightened my arms around Adam before stepping into the room. There was a huge cage with a silk sheet draped over it, and topped with a big red bow. I offered Prince Fahd my best smile and gave Rosanna a glare when I saw that she was holding back her laughter.
“Are you ready?”
A nod was all I could manage, and it was all my brother-in-law needed to uncover the cage.
“Oh, my God!” I gasped. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and I imagined that Rosanna was just as shocked since she wasn’t snickering anymore.
“What do you think, Adam?” Prince Fahd asked excitedly, as if my little baby could understand what he was being asked. He only gave him one of his heart-melting baby-giggles at the sound of his name.
“A baby lion?” I asked in utter shock. He couldn’t be serious.
“Yes. It’s a rare…” Prince Fahd continued to talk, but I was too taken aback by the sight of the wild animal in front of me to pay attention. I was sure that it would be along the lines of ‘rare species’ and how he rescued it.
“A lion?” Rosanna asked in a scolding voice.
“Yes! What? Lions can be tamed,” he defended.
“You got a six-month-old baby a LION?”
“Six and a half,” he corrected her. “He’s the Crown Prince – what could I get him that’s stronger than a lion?”
“Why can’t you gift him lands like normal people?”
“He’s six months old, what would he do with lands?”
“He’s six and a half,” Rosanna corrected, and it was my turn to hide my chuckles. I actually had to turn my back so they wouldn’t see me as I was about to burst into laughter, and when I did, I saw one of the most beautiful sights which I’d never get bored of.
Mazen with Thunder.
Mazen was standing beside him in the garden located in the middle of the stables. I imagined he was on his way to where we were, but had stopped to say hi to Ra’ad, seeing that he was already outside.
I excused myself, although I had a feeling that neither the Prince nor the Princess heard me. They were too caught up in their argument about Prince Fahd’s lack of sense when it came to choosing gifts for anyone.
My legs took me to where my love was standing, a big smile on my face as Adam started wiggling in my arms when we got closer. He was too eager to be carried by his daddy.
Mazen smiled as we neared him, hugging Adam tightly to his chest once he was in his arms. After a moment, he turned to me and said, “Get on.”
“Who? Me?” I asked in a surprise.
Mazen nodded with a smile.
I considered his offer for a moment. I was wearing a dress, but it had a loose skirt that wouldn’t prevent me from getting on Thunder. So, I thought, why not and did just that. Mounting a horse had become easier with time; I wasn’t at all bad anymore.
“Here,” Mazen said as he held Adam up for me to take the minute I sat comfortably on the horse who’d witnessed the first sparks of our love and the brightest ones.
“Are you sure?” I asked, not sure myself.
“He’ll be fine,” Mazen smiled. “Just hold him tight.”
I put Adam in front of me, with his tiny legs on either side of Thunder’s neck. I had to admit, he looked cute enough to eat.
There was delight in Mazen’s eyes as he pulled the leather belt around Thunder and started strolling along. It was a beautiful moment that I wanted to keep forever; the first time our son got on a horse’s back.
To make it even better, Adam’s hand caught a part of the leather rope, and he pulled it to him.
“See? He’s a natural!” Mazen said in amusement, his smile dropping a moment later when Adam brought the rope to his mouth and started to chew on it. He wasn’t trying to lead the way, after all, he only wanted something to chew on. “Well, that’s shocking,” Mazen said, before we both burst into laughter.
The best part was that Prince Fahd took a few pictures of that special moment with his cell phone. Honestly, those photos were a much better gift than the baby lion.
“Adam! No!” Mazen screamed in Arabic, startling me.
Some days were better than others, but most nights, Mazen had nightmares. It had been happening on and off for the past two years, since the day Adam was born. He’d wake up calling Adam’s name or mine – sometimes both. It was heartbreaking.
I didn’t have to ask him what his nightmares were about; I already knew the answer.
“Hey! Shhh! It’s okay, angel. It’s just a dream.”
With a sleepy voice, I tried to calm him down. He was sweating and gasping for air, seemingly very alert and shocked.
Mazen didn’t pay me any attention. He reached for the iPad on his nightstand and tapped a few times until the screen showed Adam’s camera. He didn’t calm down until he saw that our son was sleeping peacefully in his room.
When he lay back, he took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. With my ear against his chest, I could hear his heart beating a mile a minute. Mazen was shaking from the inside even though he hid it very well.
It saddened me to no end. I knew very well that since the day I’d been kidnapped, Mazen hadn’t been the same. He was wounded, and his worry about Adam and me had no limit.
I couldn’t blame him.
The worst part was, Mazen couldn’t always shake the feelings brought on by his nightmares. He would hold Adam tighter, watch him even more closely. It sometimes reached the point of him skipping important meetings just because he needed to make sure that Adam was okay. It wasn’t always a good thing; a lot of work was delayed just because of that.
When he couldn’t skip a meeting, he would ask me to attend on his behalf, which made me delay many of my responsibilities or pass them over to Rosanna. I couldn’t always tell him no; I wanted him to have peace of mind.
The clincher happened on a Friday. I was feeding Adam breakfast with the help of Mazen, then Mona came to change his clothes and was holding Adam’s sippy cup of orange juice. It was the only drink that Adam liked – he was very picky.
I turned my back for one minute, and the next thing I heard was Mazen yelling at Mona like I’d never heard him before – especially not with Mona.
When I quickly turned around, I saw Mazen holding a screaming Adam in one arm, while his other hand gripped Mona’s wrist. It looked like he was ready to break it.
“What did you put in it? TELL ME!” Mazen yelled at Mona’s terrified face.
I ran the few steps that separated us and took Adam from his hands.
“Stop it, Mazen, you’re scaring the boy!” I told him as I held Adam to my chest and tried to comfort him.
“She put something in my son’s juice!” Mazen shrieked. “She’s trying to poison him.”
“Would you stop yelling?” I said in frustration, trying with my free hand to loosen his grip on Mona’s wrist. This had gone too far. “It’s his frigging medication, Mazen! He’s anemic, remember? Let her go!”
I was finally able to make him release Mona, and I watched as his face fell – probably remembering that mixing his medication with orange juice was what we did to get Adam to take it. We had done it a hundred times before.
“You’re out of your mind!” I spat, then took Mona by the hand and left the room, leaving him standing there with a gaping mouth. He, too, couldn’t believe what he’d just done.
I was very upset with him.
I mean, he was blown away by Mona’s offer to take care of our son when we told her we wouldn’t use a wet nurse for Adam. We trusted no one, not even the Bedouins, who were honorable and loyal and had proven that we could put our trust in them. It was the one protocol that I had to go against.
We asked Mona a few times if she was sure. We thought she would want to take her time grieving over her daughter, who’d passed away only three weeks after Adam was born. She’d said taking care of Adam would be the only thing that would make her feel better.
Mazen and I were very grateful that she’d offered her service, but now his doubts even included her? It was too much, and my heart was hurting for him. It was like – he was completely losing his mind.
I understood his fears and concerns, I really did. Heck, I’d almost done the same with Rosanna and she’s my best friend. But it was the last thing I’d expected for Mazen to distrust his nursing mother. I mean, if she wanted to harm someone – she had had a million chances with Mazen throughout his whole life. It was just insane to think that she would ever think about hurting our son.
“Manon,” Adam called me in his sweet baby voice. He was the only person who called me that other than my grandfather whom he was named after, and was born some years later on the same day I’d lost him – September the eleventh – giving my life a new meaning and another reason to smile. “Daddy mad?” he asked, one word in Arabic and the other in English.
“No, baby, he’s just a little upset, but it’s only because he loves Adam so much.”
I smiled at him, and he smiled as well, forgetting all about it right away and then he got busy playing with the cross dangling from my necklace.
After he took his time to calm down, Mazen apologized and begged Mona for forgiveness. She wasn’t even mad at him, making it clear that she hated to see the remorse in his eyes. She understood what he was going through, even though she hated to see him this way and wished for his pain and trauma to end already so he’d be back to his normal self.
That was the day when an idea of how we could live in peace sparked in my mind.
“Princess Rosanna – daughter of Prince Hamed Alfaidy, wife of King Fahd Alfaidy – son of His Royal Highness Qasem Alfaidy – may God rest his soul. Do you swear in front of God Almighty and all people that you will obey the laws of the Kingdom of Alfaidya, respect the laws and the people, and use all of the powers given to you as Queen of the Kingdom to protect its people and lands and keep them safe and in peace?” I asked in Arabic.
This was the decision that Mazen and I had agreed to a few weeks after the incident between him and Mona. We had to relinquish the throne. It was the only thing that we could think of which, we knew, would give us a life of peace that we both craved so much.
Mo’taz had never been found. His training as a Royal Guard helped him disappear. They could find no trace of him. It was as if he’d never existed, and that was what troubled Mazen the most. I didn’t know if he feared he’d be back in our lives again, or if he only wanted to get his revenge. I had a feeling it was the latter; Mo’taz was smart to stay hidden and never appear again. But then again – you never knew.
Kareen Alfaidy had left many traces behind her, but she’d left the same day we’d found where she’d lived with her kids. Personally, I secretly wished they’d stop searching for her. She’d never wanted to harm me; she was only trying to survive and protect her kids.
Mazen had argued with me many times about how wrong I was about Kareen. If she’d taken the right path and called him and told him of The Snake’s plans, I would’ve been home long before all of the chaos happened, that we could’ve saved some souls, and perhaps Fawaz would still be alive.
But I didn’t know how to explain my feelings to him. Kareen had been emotionally abused by The Snake. She was threatened and she felt helpless. Abusers had that kind of power over their victims; they made them think that there was no way out.
Mazen thought I was insane for defending her. Maybe I was, but it was just how I felt.
I knew exactly how my husband was feeling; he was alert 24/7. He was anxious about our safety and lost sleep over it. I understood why, and I wanted to take it all away.
Etab was Jasem’s lover’s sister. Yes, she was that far related to The Snake’s family, yet she’d hated me so much because her brother had committed suicide after Jasem’s execution. She’d blamed me for it.
Mazen and I weren’t ready for more people to appear in our lives and seek revenge. We couldn’t wait until more people wanted to get revenge on us for things we didn’t even know or do. Another lover, or another crazy power-thirsty monster. We didn’t want to jeopardize our family’s safety and we didn’t want to live in fear each day and night.
We knew it was the best for us and our little family if we left the Kingdom and lived a normal life. We had to give up our titles, for our sanity.
Prince Fahd and Princess Rosanna were the best people to take on the role of King and Queen. Rosanna had been raised in a royal family; she was an Arab Muslim who knew more than I did about many things. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known, and she was passionate and kind. She would make a perfect queen for the Kingdom.
Prince Fahd was another version of Mazen. The only difference was their choice of education. Prince Fahd had chosen to study business, and mastered it at such a young age. He was always around when Mazen had to leave for school and had taken over Mazen’s duties so as to not make their father upset with Mazen and force him to come back home and leave his studies.
When Mazen came to my rescue, his only thought about the Kingdom was that Fahd would be there to step in if something happened to him. That was why he’d chosen not to bring him along, although Prince Fahd blamed him many times for it later. Mazen’s excuse was that the Kingdom would have no one left to lead it if they both got hurt, and Mazen knew he was leaving it in good hands.
Prince Fahd and Princess Rosanna were the only ones that we could trust. They feared God and loved to help. They wouldn’t let our hard work for the past eight years go to waste.
We’d known what we were going to do since Adam was two, but we had to wait until Rosanna gave birth to a healthy baby boy who was now a year old – an heir. And while we waited, we’d made sure that the Kingdom was the best it had been in centuries, economically and socially.
“I swear,” Rosanna said, and a wide smile decorated my lips. I was almost afraid that she would object. We had argued for months about this – she and her husband completely objected, so Mazen and I had to be very convincing. It took forever to get them to agree.
Our eyes locked as I took off my crown and placed it carefully on her head, and I saw the glistening tears in hers as she tried to hold them back. I put my pin over the sash I had just dropped over her shoulder and started feeling the burning in my eyes as my tears threatened to fall.
“I now announce you as the new Queen of the Kingdom of Alfaidya,” I said in the strongest voice that I could master. My throat was closing up as I watched my best friend become Queen.
It seemed that neither of us cared for protocol, because we both hugged and cried like two emotional teenage girls while people around us clapped their hands and cheered for the two of us.
It was only when I clasped my husband’s hand in one, and my son’s in the other and walked out of the palace that I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The long sigh that Mazen let out told me that he was feeling exactly the same.
On the way to the airport, the past eight years ran through my mind like a movie playing on a big screen – the hurt, the pain, the fear, and the worry. I remembered it all. But a smile was drawn on my lips as all of those emotions were overshadowed by the sweet and happy memories of my life with Mazen, and the days I’d lived with only his love feeding my spirit and putting life into my heart.
Looking into my husband’s eyes as he sat beside me, it seemed like he was having flashbacks of the same memories, because I could see peace in his eyes.
Our conscience was clear, and our minds were peaceful for the first time in what felt like forever. Our hearts were filled with love, and our plans were to make even happier memories.
I rubbed my stomach lightly and smiled as I fantasized about Mazen’s reaction when I would tell him of my new little secret. He was clueless to the fact that soon, he would have to make room in his heart for two more babies to love.
Eight years ago, I would’ve never thought that I would be the person I was today. I batted away my fears and broke all the chains that held me down, and buried my heart in doubt. I learned how to be patient and tolerant; it opened the gates of happiness for me, because true happiness only came from accepting and understanding.
I knew all too well that I wouldn’t be the person I was today if it wasn’t for Mazen. As I watched him with our six-year-old son sleeping on his lap while he smoothed his hair, I knew that my life was complete.
Mazen gave me all of the right reasons to live for, and taught me how to actually live – he gave meaning to my life.
Mazen showed me how strong love could be. We treasured each other with the kind of love that changed laws, softened traditions, and broke chains.
We didn’t need to be king and a queen; power and control weren’t our ultimate desire. Love was all we needed and wanted.
We’d gone through hell and back, yet, we still stood strong, because in the end, love was all that mattered.