The scary, cold, dark room wasn’t what I feared the most. I didn’t even fear the pain, nor did I fear the humiliation. There was only one thing that I feared like no other, losing my faith.
After everything I’d faced so far ― the hurt, the disappointment, and the betrayal, nothing could shock me anymore; not even seeing a ghost from my past named Bassel.
It came to the point where I thought it might start raining bullets and arrows very soon. Because it seemed like everything was possible. And I began to lose the battle against my anxiety; I started to lose my faith that Mazen would save me before it was too late.
The possibility was too scary.
Who would’ve thought that the royal guard who stopped the car for Jasem when I was trying to make my escape over two years ago would come back into my life, now of all times? I was too afraid to the point that I couldn’t even be shocked.
Everything I feared became possible now – the threats, the horror of not seeing my baby, and Mazen not finding us in time. Freedom seemed impossible at this point. The Snake seemed to have all her plans sewn up.
The surprise I saw, though, came from Bassel. It appeared that he didn’t know I was there, or maybe he was only shocked by how I bad looked.
“What on…?” He didn’t finish his sentence. He continued to look at me in utter disbelief, and I returned that look with a silent plea.
What is he going to do to me?
“I thought you might like this,” The Snake said with a wicked smile. “Here’s the woman who cost you your dignity and your place in the palace. Now is your chance to get your honor back. She’s alone, cuffed, and too weak to struggle. You may do with her whatever you please.”
My legs started to shake. I couldn’t stand on them anymore they gave out, and I fell to my knees in front of them. The Snake was right. I was too weak to struggle, and my heart was shattering into pieces as I thought of what was going to happen to me shortly.
Another one of her promises came true; she’d told me I would be begging soon. The worst part was that I didn’t even find it humiliating. By this point, I wasn’t above begging.
Tears ran down my face, and I imagined that I looked wretched. As my eyes flit between their faces, waiting for my destiny to be decided by them, a million sharp knives stabbed my back and stomach. This wasn’t because of how terrified I was, no, I was going through a contraction.
It required too much strength to keep my face clear of any expression that would reveal the amount of pain I was going through. All I could do was clamp my lips shut to muffle the scream that I wanted to set free, keep my eyes open and fixed on them, waiting to see if they’d move suddenly.
Bassel finally spoke, “Wow!” his eyes shifting from shock to excitement. “She looks fucked up.”
“Show her how much of a man you really are. Go get your honor back.” The Snake patted him on the back. I felt sick. My whole world was crashing, and only one thought possessed my mind— Mazen? Where are you?
“You have all night,” The Snake said, motioning with her head for him to step further inside the room, and I started shaking violently.
I silently prayed that getting his honor back would mean that he’d hit me, torture me, or even skin me alive. I didn’t care. I would take anything from him if it meant that … if it meant that he wouldn’t rape me.
He took a couple of slow steps towards me, and I couldn’t help but to raise my trembling hands in supplication. I looked up with eyes drowning with tears and lips ready to beg. I didn’t care that The Snake was watching. I didn’t care that I was giving her exactly what she wanted – I begged.
“Please!” I pleaded with a shaky voice, “Please, Bassel, don’t hurt me.”
Bassel stopped moving, and a slight hope rose inside me that maybe he would listen. Maybe he would show some mercy. Maybe he would just beat me severely and leave. I could take it. I swear I would. I would accept anything except rape.
The former royal guard looked back to where The Snake was standing, and my attention followed his. I saw her standing there with the evilest smile. She was enjoying this far too much, and it seemed like she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
I was dying inside.
“Bitch still remembers my name,” Bassel said to The Snake with a chuckle, and all of my hopes flew out the non-existent window. He, too, thought what happened to him was my fault.
It was as if everything was my fault, and according to The Snake – Global Warming might be my fault as well.
A devilish laugh echoed in the room. “It’s time to start making her scream it then,” she told him.
My hopes dropped when I saw him nod. That was it. He wasn’t going to show me any kind of mercy. He blamed me for the misery in his life and wanted revenge because he didn’t do his job properly.
How unfair was that? Well, nothing seemed fair, anyway.
Mazen, Mazen, Mazen! Where are you? Come and save me!
When Bassel suddenly grabbed my hair, I knew the real punishment for all of what I hadn’t even done just started. I lost hope of being saved, I lost hope of Bassel letting me go. I lost hope of ever seeing home again.
Wishing that death would find me was all I could do.
“This is a gift that I don’t even know how to repay.” Bassel said to The Snake, as he looked at me straight the eye. I could see that he truly meant it. I could see the joy as clear as light in his dark eyes.
I didn’t even know anymore if I was grateful for learning Arabic or completely sorry that I had. Because I thought it would be less terrifying if I didn’t understand what their words really meant.
Well, I guess, I would be just as scared as I was now anyway.
“Later, Bassel.” The Snake said in response, “Later.”
“She’s nasty as fuck, though. I got to confess that I’m a bit disgusted.”
The Snake threw her hands in the air in an ‘I give up’ motion. “You have a faucet in there,” she said, pointing to the bathroom. “Wash her or whatever. You have all night.”
I gulped, a fresh round of tears escaping my eyes, and a new wave of fear settling in my heart.
“Will do,” he said with a cold smile. He yanked me up by my hair with such force. I had to get up on shaky legs, gasping and crying ‘please’ ― but he wasn’t having that.
I even thought about begging The Snake. I would’ve done it if I thought it would change anything. Yet, I knew it wouldn’t.
“I have things to do. Enjoy.” The Snake said when Bassel started dragging me towards the bathroom.
For the twenty seconds he spent dragging me by the hair to the bathroom, I thought about everything I could ask him so that he would not go ahead with his intent. I cried out, begging. I even thought about telling him that I was in labor, but was too afraid he’d tell The Snake. I doubted it would make much difference.
My screams sounded through the walls as he pushed me inside the bathroom. I thought I was going to fall on my stomach, but his hand – the one that wasn’t holding my hair – caught my shoulder tightly and prevented my fall.
“Shut up!” he said loudly, pushing me one more time until I was at the far end of the bathroom, too scared to think why we were so far from the faucet. Wasn’t that the reason why we were here?
“Please, please, please,” I cried out, “No, please! No!”
My heart was thumping hard against my chest, it felt like it wanted to break free of my body and get away from all of the horror.
Bassel put his face close to mine, and I closed my eyes tight shut, releasing more tears. I didn’t want to see him up close. I didn’t want to see at all, I wished I were blind. I wished I were dead. Anything would be much better than what I was facing now.
“Shh, calm down, Your Majesty. I’m not going to hurt you,” Bassel whispered in my ear, and I stopped breathing.
My first thought was that I was imagining things. Did he really just tell me that he wouldn’t harm me? Did he call me by my title? I had no doubt that I was imagining it. Of course, it was my imagination playing tricks on me. There was no way he said those words. He still had his hands on me!
Bassel must have sensed my inner dilemma, because he spoke again. “I’m not going to hurt you.” His mouth was too close to my ear, I could feel his breath on my skin, but I was now sure of what he said. But, did he really mean it?
“Y-you s-stil-l have your h-ands in my hair,” I said with a shaky voice, because he was still gripping my hair and it was hurting me, so I couldn’t understand him saying he wasn’t going to hurt me. Or, was he playing a game? I couldn’t trust anyone, not at all.
“I have to pretend that I’m hurting you for the cameras, until I can figure out what I’m going to do. I’m sorry. I brought you here so they wouldn’t hear me speak,” he said.
“Th-ere are no cameras in the bathroom,” I said, still doubtful and scared.
Bassel’s hand immediately let go of my hair. Instead, he took hold of my shoulders. I was shaking and I didn’t know what to expect, but at least he wasn’t hurting me anymore.
Using his foot, Bassel pulled the lid of the toilet seat down, closing it. Then he carefully sat me on it.
“Don’t be afraid. We’ll be out of here soon. I’m so sorry,” he apologized again, and a sense of calm started to wash over my heart. Yet, I couldn’t shrug away the horror that was consuming me.
I nodded frantically, swallowing thickly. My eyes were pleading as I watched him. I knew I would do anything he said if it meant he wouldn’t touch my baby or me in a hurtful way.
Bassel let go of me once he was convinced that I could brace myself on the toilet seat. He then pulled his hair in frustration, a cuss word coming out of his mouth, and followed that with an apology. Foul language was the least of my concerns. I was trying my hardest to figure out what was he going to do next.
If anything, Bassel looked as though he didn’t have a clue what to do, and I thought, that makes two of us.
Letting out a long breath, Bassel moved his hands to his belt and then started unbuckling it. My breaths hitched, and my throat closed at the sight. I started begging again when he took it all off, “No, no, please!”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said one more time, “I swear. I won’t.”
“Wh-at are you doing?”
“I’m getting my honor back,” he said, and my eyes widened as I started shaking my head, “the right way.”
He smiled in reassurance, and the next thing I knew, Bassel took the pin from his belt buckle and started using it on my cuffs, trying to unlock them.
Only then did I start believing that he might actually be trying to help me, but I was too scared to believe there was someone I could trust.
I winced as he worked on the lock, the skin beneath the cuffs was reddish and scratched, but I really would have let him cut my wrists just to set me free.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” Bassel said again as he kept trying to unlock the cuffs. I had no idea why he thought he should be apologizing. The sound of the click signaled success.
I let out a sigh of relief, and winced again as pain crept to my shoulders when my arms returned to their normal position. They’d been tied up such a long, long time.
“Th-thank you,” I said, not knowing how a simple word could ever be enough.
“It’s my duty, Your Majesty.” He said, “Royal guard or not.”
A tear escaped my eye, and I offered him a small smile. It was a sad one, but it was also the best that I could manage. Bassel reached into his pocket and took out his cell-phone. He looked nervous as he started tapping on it, and then he clenched his jaw and shook his head, cursing again.
“There’s no signal.” He said in frustration, then he put his phone away.
“C-can’t you make an emergency call?”
“Too risky,” he said, and seemed to be thinking hard. I didn’t ask him to explain further why, but figured that he might be concerned about my captors killing us if they sensed danger.
“Are we in Al’ameria?” I wondered, wanting to ask a million questions in one minute just to get the answers I’d been dying to know for the past days.
“You don’t know?” he looked shocked, and when I shook my head he spoke again. “Yes, we’re in Al’ameria. A few miles away from your beach mansion.”
My eyes widened, how was it even possible? How come I was so close and they hadn’t found me yet? It was like Bassel could read the questions in my eyes.
“They are looking in the wrong direction, suspecting the wrong people,” he shook his head in sorrow. “How were they able to get you here? Maybe this could be our way out.”
“I don’t know. I was unconscious when Mo’taz brought me here,” I said, and Bassel looked stunned. “But I heard them saying something about a tunnel,” I added, hoping that the answer could be helpful.
“Mo’taz! That bastard!” Bassel looked murderously angry. He was about to say something, but before he could speak, we heard footsteps approaching, and I started shaking again.
“What are we going to do?” I whispered in fear.
“Scream,” he said, and it took me a brief moment to realize what he meant. I did as I was told. I started screaming and crying out as if Bassel was hurting me, and while I was at it, Bassel was pulling something from his shoes.
He had a pocket knife!
Whoever was outside stopped for a minute to listen to what they thought was happening in the bathroom. After a few seconds, they went back to where they came from.
Bassel motioned for me to keep up my cries. Apparently, he knew something that I didn’t. I didn’t question it and continued screaming in pain. It wasn’t a hard thing to do, actually, I was already in too much pain, and screaming was such a relief.
“Listen,” Bassel whispered after a few minutes; it seemed he had finally come up with something. “I will try to get them in here, and finish them off. There are two of them in the outside room. I’m sure it’s the only place they have monitors, so nobody else is going to see this,” he whispered.
“Okay.” I gulped as I continued to nod, agreeing to whatever he said even though it sounded very scary.
“We will go the way I came from after that.”
“It will get us out?” I asked, all too anxious.
“I have no clue, Your Majesty,” he admitted putting the knife in his pocket where he could easily take it out. “But it won’t get us into a deeper hole. We’re literally underground. I need to get a signal, and I’m not leaving you alone.”
I nodded again, unable to say anything. I was exceedingly grateful, so thankful, but still as scared as ever. I had to put all of my trust in Bassel. It was difficult to do, because until I was free – I was still having doubts. It was out of my control.
“Fucking bitch!” Bassel shouted in Arabic, and I flinched back even though the words weren’t actually directed at me. He then fled out of the bathroom.
“Saeed!” I heard him calling, the name ringing in my ear and sending shivers down my spine. That was the guy who’d pointed a gun at me the time I got out of the cell. My heart was thumping hard as I heard Bassel shouting things that I couldn’t make out, and then I heard more than one person’s footsteps approaching and I started shivering.
“She keeps kicking me! I need you to pin her down,” Bassel said and I heard the guy named Saeed laughing.
“If it means I’ll get a turn …” he said as he strode into the bathroom, stopping mid-sentence as he noticed me sitting on the toilet, with hands my un-cuffed. “What the …”
Without hesitation, Bassel came from behind him and in one swift motion he slit Saeed’s throat open. I gasped in fright as the blood rushed out of his neck in a spurt, and I felt sick to my stomach.
Bassel left the bathroom without a word, leaving Saeed on the floor struggling and shaking as if he were connected to a live wire. It was an agonizing thing to see and I couldn’t look away even if it was the only thing I wanted to do.
My tears started running down my face as I watched in terror while Saeed’s movements slowed until he stopped completely. In minutes, he became nothing more than a lifeless body lying on the floor.
I didn’t know how long it took Bassel to get back to the bathroom, but it sure felt like hours and hours. His clothes were a mess, and all bloodied. Whoever the other kidnapper was, it seemed like he had struggled more than Saeed did.
“Let’s go!”
Bassel offered me his hand and I grabbed it, following him with shaky legs as he took us out of the underground cell and down the long, dark alley that led to the room where the monitors were.
I muffled my cries with my hand when I saw a body on the floor, drowning in blood. The sight made me dizzy to the point I thought I would pass out right then and there.
Bassel led the way to another alley, my hand veritably stuck to his as the blood on it started drying. It took everything for me not to vomit right then and there. His steps were hurried but careful at the same time.
When we reached another metal door he turned his head to me and placed his finger to his lips. I nodded, for being quiet would be an easy thing to do.
I was proven wrong by another strong contraction which hit me with force, and I knew I might not be able to keep quiet, after all.