My mind knew a way or two to reply to what he was saying. My tongue just wanted to scream many questions, all along the lines of ‘What?’ and ‘Are you out of your mind?’
My heart was a mess of fear and confusion and maybe even some loathing, but the dominant feeling was – love. The love I had for my child and the love I had for the man kneeling in front of me; his concerned, pleading eyes were telling me a thousand words that described a caring father and devoted husband.
He wanted us safe, there was no doubt.
I couldn’t deny that I thought it was insane that we would choose my mother-in-law to prepare all our food and drinks. However, I knew that if Mazen suggested it, it was probably the best option.
Being queen showed me the importance of controlling my emotions, an important lesson I used when dealing with the Bedouins. Mazen taught me to never jump to conclusions, think things through, talk it out, and try to understand.
Being completely in love with my husband made me trust him like no other. So, after a long minute of silence, I asked him, “Do you think she will agree?”
Mazen was obviously shocked, but he recovered quickly. “I’m sure she will. After all, it’s her grandson’s safety we’re talking about.”
Mazen said the most convincing words without beating around the bush – it was the most truthful thing. Even if my mother-in-law didn’t care about my well-being, she cared about her only son’s baby inside of me: her grandson. There was no doubt; she would never hurt him.
“True,” I said. “Okay, then.”
“What? You agree to that?” Mazen asked, almost voicing the real question, ‘You won’t argue with me?’
“Yes, Mazen, I agree. You trust your mother, and I trust you. I’ve told you I will do anything to protect our son.”
Mazen’s smile was sad. He kissed my hair once again and looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, beautiful princess,” he said in a low voice. “But you won’t regret this, I promise.”
“I know,” I whispered back. Having her around, right here in my wing, might bring back bad memories. I didn’t want to feel uneasy and awkward, but for the sake of my baby, I will tolerate it. This extra precaution was necessary.
I wished Mona could take that role. She was certainly someone that both Mazen and I trusted, but Rodina had been very ill as of late and needed constant and continuous attention. It would be very selfish of me to ask Mona to leave her only daughter to prepare me a meal.
Having my mother-in-law do everything food-related for me was our only option, whether I liked it or not. I only hoped that it was the right choice.
I’d neglected to tell Mazen about the day I encountered his mother in the library, and how her glare made me feel. He’d been away when it happened and by the time he got back, I’d put it in the back of my mind.
The day after the library incident, I’d met with her again to gain legal advice, and she was very kind and sweet. She asked about my health, prayed for me, and gave me her best wishes.
On the day of the public gender reveal, she gave away hundreds of gold coins from her personal funds. The expression on her face was genuine delight and joy. She was thrilled that we were having a boy ― almost as much as Mazen and I were.
She was giving me whiplash, but I tried not to think too much about her. I knew for sure that she cared about the child inside of me, as any true loving grandmother would. Moreover, I hated to judge her for her past terrible behavior since she has been quite nice and pleasant recently, a demeanor that had started to become much more common.
The first week with her in our quarters was the hardest for me, but I wore my big girl panties. Queen Mother Shams was very pleasant towards me, and cared a lot about my diet. She would arrive each morning with her maid, who’d carry the ingredients for whatever dish she was going to make. She’d go into the kitchen, prepare everything, and then put it in the fridge – she always locked it with a password – then she would come back at different times of the day to serve it to me. She made great food ― dishes that reminded me of my first stay in this wing. Surprisingly, only pleasant memories invaded my head.
Mazen ate with me most of the time, and sometimes when his mother offered me a drink, she sat down and had a glass with me. It wasn’t difficult to see that it was her way of assuring me that I shouldn’t be worried, that I could trust her. However, she never voiced those matters.
I had to admit, it was taking a lot of her energy; it was a stressful job and not fitting for her position as a Queen Mother. Nevertheless, she did it all with love.
Incredibly, with time, I got used to her being in close proximity. I even started conversations and small talk sometimes. Things were getting a bit more comfortable, but my guard continued to stay up, and she knew that very well.
She only used the secret doors and passages that connected our wing to her quarters, and only her maid knew of her daily visits to me – we didn’t want anyone to know. And I didn’t want to concern Rosanna with the possible threat to my baby. She already had enough things to stress about.
One morning while I was meeting with the palace managers, a delicious scent hit my nose. It was so good that I actually stopped mid-sentence and inhaled deeply.
I couldn’t wait for my stylist to finish with my hair already, and for the palace managers to leave so I could go into the kitchen and look for the source of the smell.
The second they left, I made a beeline to the kitchen, remembering an episode of Tom and Jerry that I’d watched as a kid, where one of them would fly with dazzled eyes as a scent of something cooking pulled them in like a magnet. It was exactly how I felt.
The closer I got to the kitchen, the stronger the smell became, and I was already drooling. My hormones were making me crazy, when just a few weeks ago the scent of any kind of food, no matter how wonderful it was, made me nauseous.
“Good morning!” I greeted my mother-in-law.
“Oh, good morning, Your Majesty! I’m about finished with breakfast, sorry it took me longer today.”
“No, no! It’s really fine. I really appreciate all you do for us,” I said sincerely. “Oh, my God! You baked?” I gushed.
“Yes, just some pastries. I hope you like them.”
I gasped. “Are those cinnamon rolls?”
Queen Mother Shams chuckled, “I take it that you like those?”
“I only liked them before, but given how much I’m dying to eat one right now – I believe that Adam loves them.”
My mother-in-law’s smile dropped for a second before she smiled again, and told me that the pan would be ready in a minute.
I thanked her and sat at the kitchen table, deciding that I would have breakfast here for a change. I wondered why the sudden change in the atmosphere – was it because cinnamon rolls weren’t actually a proper breakfast? I knew she was very careful with my food, and what kind of vitamins it contained, but then again – she baked them herself, so, I really didn’t know.
The second her maid left the kitchen, I asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
She sat down in front of me. “Not exactly, my child,” she said, looking down for a second before continuing, “You shouldn’t speak about His Highness without titles – not in front of the servants, at least.”
I frowned. “His Highness?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Prince Adam Alfaidy.”
My eyes widened. “My son? My unborn son? He doesn’t even know what we’re saying!” I was utterly confused.
The Queen Mother gently shook her head. “You’re carrying the Crown Prince of our Kingdom, Your Majesty. It’s the only way he should be addressed, even by his parents. It doesn’t matter whether he can understand it or not, everyone else around him would. They understand his position and his worth. We can never say the first name of a royal family member in front of anyone outside the family without their titles. You already know that, Your Majesty.”
I did know that, but I also didn’t think it applied to an unborn child. I nodded and smiled in understanding, but something felt off. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly.
A minute later, I took a bite of my cinnamon roll and moaned as it hit my tongue. “This tastes like heaven.”
“Really? I’m so happy that you like it.”
“I love it. And, His Highness loves it even more,” I winked, and she laughed at my reaction.
Inside the wing’s office, I sat at the desk, trying to figure out if cutting two hours out of the working day in the upcoming month would be okay, or if it would be too much. I didn’t want to affect the profits that my company had been making for the past year in the Kingdom.
Archer Enterprises – Alfaidya Branch was doing very well, unlike the London branch, which was actually falling apart since I’d sent its manager to the main branch in New York. Just thinking about what needs to be done was giving me a headache. I tried different things to shore it up, but it wasn’t even making half of the money it made when my parents were alive.
I had no clue what to do. I’d run out of ideas, but just the thought of closing it and selling the building made me feel sick. It was the last thing that I would ever want to do.
“Your Majesty?” Manar called, interrupting my troubled thoughts. “Princess Rosanna would like to speak with you on the phone.”
I nodded. “Please pass it through,” I said, wondering why Rosanna didn’t call me directly on my private number.
“Hey, you! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since the day before yesterday, at all,” I said.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Rosanna said. After an odd pause, she spoke again. “Can you come over, please?”
“To your wing?”
“Yes.”
I frowned. “Sure. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine. I only need to … just come over, please.”
“Okay, I’m on my way,” I told her, already getting up to leave.
“Use the hidden doors. I’m in my bedroom.” She hung up.
“Manar, I need some time by myself in the living room. Please see that I’m not disturbed.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Once I was alone in the living room, I used a secret door that led me to Rosanna’s living room, and I headed straight to her bedroom.
Inside, Rosanna was waiting for me. She looked a bit tired, but not upset. Maybe she just didn’t get a good night’s sleep.
“Hi,” she said with a soft smile and a hug.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
Rosanna smiled. “I don’t even know how I feel.” She looked down for a second and shook her head, then she looked up at me again. “You know Ramadan is soon, and … Doctor Hadeer told me yesterday that it’s up to me if I want to fast or not, but I don’t think I will be fasting.”
“Oh?” I frowned, not understanding what that meant. I knew that women were not obligated to fast during their periods, but that would only be for a few days. I couldn’t get why Rosanna had made it sound like she wouldn’t fast the whole month.
“I think that’s okay if you’re sick or something; you can always fast … the days that you missed before Ramadan of the next year, right? Or feed the poor, I think. I’m sorry, I’m not so good with Islamic laws as I should be, forgive me,” I chuckled nervously, feeling the blush crawling up my cheeks. I really disliked when I didn’t know what to say about things like this. I always wanted to be helpful, not clueless.
Rosanna smiled again. “I know,” she said, and then there was an awkward pause.
As I stood there, I wondered why Rosanna would bring me all the way here to tell me that. It wasn’t like her to do something like this. I thought it would be something very important, given the secrecy of this meeting.
Then it slowly dawned on me. “Are you sick? Oh, wait. Doctor Hadeer? Oh, my God! You’re pregnant!” I shouted in excitement.
Rosanna’s grin lit up her whole face, as she covered my mouth with her hand quickly. “Shhh, nobody knows anything yet, not even Fahd.”
“What?” I whisper-yelled after removing her hand. “Are you crazy?” My eyes almost bugged out of my head.
“I told you, I don’t know how I feel. I didn’t even know how to tell you. The words wouldn’t come. I just had to tell someone, and you’re the closest person to me.”
“Oh, honey.” I hugged her tightly. “You’re the same to me, Rosanna,” I said, overwhelmed by the news and her sweetness. “But you need to tell your husband.”
“I’m so afraid of being happy. I’m so afraid to give him hope, I don’t want to … I ... I’m afraid, Marie. He’s been to hell and back with me. I don’t want to break his heart again.”
“I know the feeling, sweetie,” I told her. “I completely understand. And I will support you in whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
“I knew you would,” she smiled again, wiping her tears away.
“What do you think Prince Fahd will get you as a pregnancy gift?” I asked with a grin.
“Um, probably some rare species of animal, an elephant maybe.” She pursed her lips to the side.
“That’s what I thought,” I laughed.
For the whole day, the grin hadn’t left my face. The word ‘happy’ wasn’t adequate to describe the delight I felt in my heart.
My prayers had been answered, and the heavy burden and pain that I felt every time I saw Rosanna crying was finally gone. It had been bothering me so much.
I couldn’t wait to tell Mazen. I knew he’d be just as happy for his brother and sister-in-law, but I respected Rosanna’s wish. It also wasn’t my place to tell him.
Since I knew it would be very hard to hide my grin and cheerful mood, I needed to do something that he knew I loved doing, so when he would ask about my constant smile – I could find a reasonable response.
“Manar?” I called. It was already after five. Mazen had many outdoor activities that he had to attend today; he wasn’t going to be home until late at night.
“Yes, Your Majesty?”
“Arrange a visit with Princess Marie, please.”
“Tonight?”
“As soon as possible,” I smiled.
Sameera accompanied me to Janna’s wing, her arms full of gift bags. I was so excited to see my little niece. It had been over a week since the last time I saw her. I hated that, but I had been very busy, and work together with pregnancy were draining me.
“Welcome, Your Majesty.”
“Thank you, Shadwa,” I said to Little Marie’s new nanny, then turned my attention to the little angel in her arms who was already reaching out for me. “Oh, hello there, my sweetie pie!” I said in some Disney character’s voice, something that was not at all appropriate for a queen, but I couldn’t care less. “Auntie missed you so much!”
“Aush, aush!” Little Marie said excitedly, trying to copy my words, then she gave me the best of her giggles when she heard my laugh.
God! How cute is she? I wanted to eat her!
“Let me show you what I have for you,” I told her, and from that moment, I lost all sense of time as I played with her and her new toys.
It wasn’t until my niece fell asleep in my arms and her nanny lifted her to take her to bed that I noticed something.
“Hey, Shadwa?”
“Yes, Your Majesty?”
“Is Princess Janna okay? I haven’t seen her.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. She’s not here at the moment, but I believe she will be here soon.”
“Out?” I frowned. It wasn’t like her to shop at night, so where could she be?
“Yes, Your Majesty. She’s out on a date.”