“Come on, Deb. It will be major fun. Besides, you already got dressed up anyway.”

“In your clothes!” I shot back at my roommate, staring at my reflection in the full-length mirror in the room. I didn’t know how I’d allowed Ruby to convince me that going to the club for the last college party of the semester was a good idea. I’d never been to a party before.

“You’ve not done anything fun since we’ve roomed together,” she had said earlier in her nasal voice. “You deserve it, probably more than any of us. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you coming in from the library before daybreak.”

“I thought that’s what we were here for,” I’d argued. “At the end of the day, what matters won’t be how many nights you came home drunk or how many parties you’ve been to. It will be about your academic achievements.”

“Wrong! Don’t you know anything about socialization and building contacts? You could be educated all you want, but without the right contacts, it may not make a difference. Many of the kids here have wealthy parents who own businesses. That’s as good a way to establish contacts if there ever was one.”

Still vulnerable and smarting from the blonde entering Lucas’ room like she was entitled to him, I’d talked myself into saying yes, I’d go with Ruby. Because she was under twenty-one, she’d not been to many clubs but she was determined to get in tonight and had the fake ID to make sure that happened.

Standing before the mirror, I stared, barely recognizing myself. This was all Ruby’s doing after she’d decided nothing I had in my closet was suitable for the nightclub. I was uncomfortable in the dress she’d insisted was perfect for my figure. She was about two inches taller than I was so I was surprised the dress ended mid-thigh. I dared not think about what it would have looked like on her. She’d assured me the dress was brand new and I could keep it. As a Christmas gift, she said.

The red dress clung to my shape and I swore I’d never noticed the generous curve of my hips before. The bodycon sweater material had a turtleneck which should have given me a demure look, but the clinginess of the material outlining the fullness of my round breasts, the flatness of my belly, and the flare of my hips made me seductive in appearance. The sleeves were long, down to my wrists, but the back had the stunning effect of a lace-caged look which left most of my back to my slim waist bare.

I knew nothing about flat irons and curlers, but Ruby had also used her flat iron to create loose curls about my face and down my back. She’d known what to do to create volumes and make the waves look fuller. After much useless protest on my part, I’d conceded to the barest of makeup—smoky eyes and red lipstick. At least the black suede booties with the stiletto heels I wore were all mine, bought on sale at Charlotte Russe over the summer. I’d paid twenty-five dollars for the pair at sixty percent off. They had been my guilty secret pleasure—my love for shoes—but I never had enough to own more than a few pairs at a time.

“You look great.” Ruby grinned at me and grabbed my boobs without warning. I jumped back, having not expected the unusual contact. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a virgin.” My roommate giggled. “I’m not gay or anything, but your boobs look great in that dress.”

She was dressed in a tight black bodycon jump suit that showed a bit of her extra fat but she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking to hook up tonight, or so she claimed, stating she was going home to see her boyfriend tomorrow. It seemed those persons who had stayed back on campus had done so for the sake of this event.

I took in a sharp breath. He would be there. What would he say when he saw me? Would he be pleased or think me pathetic for acting as something I wasn’t?

“I’d give my dad a heart attack if he saw me,” I mumbled. My dad didn’t know much about girly activities and in the parenting game alone, he’d tried his best but a lot had missed me because of his lack of knowledge. Most of what I needed to know I learned from Sex Ed class, and when I’d gotten my first period, I’d used my allowance to get myself pads and later, tampons. We never talked about any of those things. Except the one time he’d tried talking to me about sex and only ended up making us both very uncomfortable. I didn’t even think he explained it right.

If my dad had a girlfriend, he never let on. I highly doubted it. I didn’t care to think of how he took care of things, but given how badly he’d been burnt by my mother, he’d closed off his heart to all women.

“Okay, let’s go,” Ruby announced and I walked reluctantly out the room behind her. We loaded quickly into her Sedan out of the cold night air which hinted at possible snow as early as tomorrow. I hoped it would hold out until Lucas and I got to Pagosa Springs. Driving in snow would make the trip even longer, and five hours were long enough.

The streets of Denver had long since started showing the signs of Christmas approaching as early as late October. Houses, trees, and businesses were awash with colored and musical lights. Larimer Square had thousands of white lights running in the air above the streets. It was all spectacular, nothing at all like Pagosa Springs where people were more prone to decorating their homes and sometimes their businesses, but nothing so extravagant.

Too soon, Ruby parked at the hot club Bullseye she had been going on and on about for the past couple days. I’d not paid her any mind since I never thought I would be roped into going with her. A long line was outside that we had to join and I could have cussed. We’d both left our coats because Ruby insisted a woman had to endure discomfort sometimes to look sexy. Now, I wished I’d never caved in. I was cold and shivering. Why had I become such a pansy?

But even as I complained in my head about what I was doing there, I was breathless, thinking about running into Lucas. I wanted him to see me like this, all dressed up and not wearing the second-hand and on-sale jeans and t-shirt I usually dressed in on campus.

We held bated breaths as we were next in line to enter after standing for some fifteen minutes. We held out or IDs but they weren’t looked at. Rather, we were looked over appreciatively before being allowed to enter.

Loud music blasted us as we walked into the club. I looked around me in amazement. This was my first time at a club. The most defining feature for me was the crush of people on the dance floor, ultra violet lights and strobe lights picking up the movements of their bodies. Above us were two decks as packed with gyrating bodies. The booths were almost all full, liquor being passed around, guzzled, and drizzled into open mouths while bodies danced against bodies. Half-naked dancing girls were mounted on the stage where the resident DJ played music, gyrating, shaking their asses, and being provocative.

The majority were college kids, although I did spot some older-looking creepy men hanging around.

“I love this song!” Ruby shouted and it showed because she was already rolling her hips. “I’m going to get my dance on. If you wanna go home at any point, let me know. If you can’t find me, send me a text. My phone’s in my bosom so I can’t miss it vibrating.”

“You’re leaving me alone?” I asked in panic.

“Do you want to dance then?” she yelled at me to be heard above the music.

“I’ll pass!” I shouted back. “I guess I’ll just go to the bar.”

“Good idea. You don’t look like a heavy drinker so stick to Margarita. You’ll like it and it’s expensive here, so don’t buy more than that initial drink at the bar. Let the guys buy you a drink but never drink anything that you didn’t see being opened. Got it?”

Before I could say ‘got it,’ she was gone. I watched her for a few minutes from where I stood. A random guy, tall and good-looking, whispered into her ear and she nodded before the guy took her by the waist and they started dancing together. So much for not hooking up with someone tonight.

Warily, I made my way over to the bar which was less busy. I tried not to appear too gauche when heads turned to watch me walk. I wasn’t used to so much attention, and my first instinct was to duck behind something and cover myself. But for once, I experienced something new. Although this wasn’t my sort of preferred activity and I strongly doubted I would be back, I was already here and might as well make the most of the opportunity. I would at least be able to say I knew what the experience was all about.

I sat on a bar stool, sandwiched between an older man in his forties chatting up a girl who was around my age and another guy to my right. The older man and the girl didn’t notice as I slid on the stool but the guy on my right did. I vaguely recognized his face from college and was trying to remember if I’d seen him hanging out with Lucas before. I wasn’t sure so I just gave him a small, nervous smile and turned to the bartender who was busy serving other customers. Three bartenders held down the fort. A woman dressed in a red V-neck hooded Christmas costume, a red wrap-around top with halter and back ties and matching shorts with a black belt. The two men wore red shirts, green ties, and black jeans. The bar area was decorated with soft, greenish lights. In keeping with the Christmas season, I supposed.

I was hopeless at ordering a drink. The bartenders were so busy and I didn’t dare shout to one to get me a drink. So I sat there like a fool, waiting for the pressure to lighten, but it didn’t seem about to anytime soon.

“Hey, Cody, serve this beautiful girl a drink, will ya!” the guy I recognized from college shouted at one of the bartenders. He looked at me as he said it and I blushed.

Cody, a redhead guy who didn’t look much older than me, stopped where I was.

“What are you having?” he asked.

“Margarita,” I stammered out, recalling the name Ruby had thrown at me.

“On the rocks?”

I stared at him in confusion. “Excuse me?”

The guy from college came to my help again by intervening. This time, he swung around on his chair to face me. “He means with or without ice,” he explained.

“Oh.” I was still confounded. What was the difference in taste with ice and without?

The guy from college took the decision out of my hands. “On the rocks with salted rim,” he told the bartender who went about making my drinks.

“Thanks.” I gave him a look of gratitude. He looked at me with open curiosity. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy with blond hair, hazel eyes, and a nice smile. “I’m not used to this sort of thing.”

The bartender brought my drink over and my collegemate mentioned something about putting my drink on his tab.

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” I told him.

He grinned at me. “Attractive girls like you don’t pay for drinks at the bar, so allow me to pay for your first one and if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll also be paying for the rest.”

“I’m not sure there will be a next,” I admitted, making a face at my first taste of an alcoholic beverage.

He laughed. “I’m Aaron. I do know you from Regis, right?”

“Yeah, I’m Debra.”

“Nice to meet you, Debra,” I read his lips since it was so hard to hear beyond the loud music.

“Nice to meet you too,” I replied and marveled at my ability to keep a conversation up with him. The dress must really be working because ordinarily, guys like Aaron wouldn’t hang around, wanting to know my name.

My eyes traveled around the club, searching, but there were way too many people for me to identify the guy I searched for. He had to be here. He just had to be. Otherwise, all this would be a waste. Maybe if he saw me like this, if he saw me talking to another guy, he wouldn’t see me as a nobody.

“Do you want to dance?” Aaron invited and I mulled over the question. To dance or not to dance? He seemed nice. I took a several sips of the contents in my glass while I talked it over with myself.

But you don’t dance.

How do you know that?

I’ve been you for twenty-one years and you’ve never danced, at least not the type of dancing that counts.

The brief argument with myself had me checking out the dancefloor again. How hard could that be? I could move my ass too. I could hold my hands in the air and move from side to side. How difficult was that?

But what about Lucas?

What about Lucas indeed? Even if he was here, I wouldn’t be able to spot him in all this crowd. He hadn’t shown any interest in me for the past week. He never invited me out again to get something to eat. Didn’t that show me he’d lost interest? I didn’t need his permission to dance with anyone.

Overwhelmed, I dismissed all thoughts from my mind. Thoughts of me being a small-town girl who wasn’t good enough. Thoughts of Lucas and his unclear intentions and his clearer flings with girls on campus. Thoughts of my father and how disappointed he would be to see me here tonight dressed like this and drinking.

“Sure, why not?” I responded.

His smile widened and he slid off his stool. When I would have followed suit, he held me by the waist and lifted me from the stool. I walked nervously with him to the dancefloor, noticing suddenly how he held onto my waist. I was nervous at the thought of the intimate contact we would be forced to endure while dancing with each other.

“Did I tell you how hot you look?” he shouted above the music. The DJ was playing Robin Schulz, Sugar, the only song I’d recognized since being in the club.

I only smiled, turning to dance with him. We weren’t in the crush of bodies on the dancefloor but on the periphery, and it was enough for the lights to sweep over us as well. I started relaxing at the beat of the music, feeling a light buzz from the margarita. What started out as stiff movements became fluid as I unwound twenty-one years of very little fun.

It all started out great and even fun, though I couldn’t move half as well as most of the girls in the club. Abruptly, I was pushed to bend over by Aaron as he gyrated against my ass. His hands reached around my waist to grab at my breasts. I was too stunned to move at first. What the hell! I could feel his stiff cock in his jeans, hitting against my bottom.

I jerked myself erect and tried to pull away from him. Hell, this wasn’t what I’d signed up for. Our dancing had been fine up to this point, with some brushing against each other as expected, but this was going too far. I turned to tell him to keep the touching to necessary movements but he pulled me up against him, his mouth coming down hard on mine. He thrust his pelvis against me and I was appalled. What the hell did he think he was doing? I tried to pull away from him but his hands were manacles I couldn’t get off.

I started to panic. With all the hollering and carrying on, no one would hear me if I screamed.