This was harder than I thought it would be. Love was not as elusive as I had thought but was more of a foe that chased me relentlessly to my doom. Watching Anna and ignoring the slight tremors she provoked was becoming harder as the days passed. Two weeks had slipped by since our dinner, and still her image—the angel in the white romper, with her red hair swept back and in stark contrast with her outfit—tormented me. We had touched for a fleeting second, which registered in my mind. I hadn’t seen much of her since, and I could only assume it was a deliberate act, one that I had triggered.

Because the weekend had arrived, I didn’t need to be at the office. Usually, I would be down by the pool, but I consulted with the staff concerning her whereabouts before I made plans. I didn’t want to run into her and make an uncomfortable situation even more so. She wasn’t home, so I decided I’d change into my swim trunks and burn some calories rather than my brain cells.

I had only gone through the hall and hit the first landing when I ran into her. My heart stopped. Her back was turned, as usual, and she had the feather duster in her hands, making light strokes against the ornate vase in the corner.

“Anna, you don’t have to do that,” I said without warning.

Once again, I frightened her. She jumped, and her elbow caught the vase, which toppled. I moved closer to her as she tried to balance the duster and the vase at the same moment. She lost her hold on the vase as it rocked and threatened to fall. She let go of the duster, but in her scramble, she lost her footing as well and tumbled. The vase, coincidentally, rocked back into place at the same time she fell into me, pushing me back with force. We both fell, and my arms automatically wrapped around her. When the earth stopped moving, she was lying on top of me, and the body I had not yet felt pressed against mine.

I gazed into her frightened eyes, both of us too shaken to move. But in that moment, and against my better judgement, I couldn’t deny what I felt. I leaned in and caught her lips. She was still for a few seconds and then her lips folded over mine. I felt a hunger like none other, and I wanted to drink her in like some new wine that had hit the market. My hands tightened around her middle, and I forgot we were lying on the ground in plain view.

I emitted a quiet growl, a result of my pent-up passion, as I pulled her even closer. Our lips began a dance, a graceful waltz, and I got lost in her appeal. My head was hot with desire, and my cock began to twitch. My eyes shot open as I came to my senses. I pulled back, gripped her shoulders, and eased her gently from me. I stood and helped her up before I cleared my throat, apologized, and attempted to flee. My foe had caught up to me and had my head in her noose. I had to break free before she choked me.

“Raymond,” she cried as she chased after me and grabbed my arm. “Why do you keep doing that?”

I clenched my jaw as I fought to gain some semblance of control. “It was not a part of the contract,” I told her when I could think of nothing else to say.

“We are married, you know,” she said, and her hold on me softened. “It’s perfectly okay if we kiss.”

I patted her arm and smiled at her. “Perhaps. But it really is better this way, for you and for me.”

“And how will we have babies if you won’t even kiss me?” she wanted to know.

“There are several ways to do that without kissing,” I replied and stepped away again.

I looked at her and saw the disappointment in her eyes before I turned and rushed to my room. It was a familiar sight, like the one I had seen on my mother’s face when my father left. They had a powerful kind of love in the beginning. Or so I was told. But when I could make sense of it, there was only fighting. Constant fighting. Words were hurled, promises were broken, and hearts were betrayed. My father had a lot of money, and he preferred to leave it all to be rid of her. I didn’t want to experience anything of the sort. But when I looked into Anna’s eyes, I saw I was the one inflicting pain on her. I was so adamant that I wouldn’t be hurt I couldn’t see that my actions were causing someone else pain.

It bothered me, so much so I lost my appetite for swimming. I couldn’t stay in the house. I didn’t want to risk running into her again, so I left and ordered my driver to take me to the country club—maybe seeing more platonic faces would dispel the image slowly being tattooed onto my brain, that of her pain-drenched stare. I leaned against the headrest of the seat and closed my eyes, but as soon as I did, my hip vibrated.

I all but shouted as I yanked the device from the holster. I casually slipped it back into place when I saw my mother’s name on the screen. I didn’t need another woman in my head today. But she wouldn’t stop calling.

“What?” I barked into the device when it threatened to drive me crazy.

“Don’t be fresh with me!” she scolded, and I could envision her haggard face on the other end.

I wiped my hand down my face and tried to drown out the sound by rolling down the windows and focusing on the sounds of the waves crashing along the shoreline to my left. She was yammering on about what a disappointment I was, but I already had that record sealed into my mental archives, filed neatly in the cabinet drawer under the heading Lost Cause.

“Did you hear me?” she screeched.

“What?”

She scoffed. “You didn’t hear a word I said.”

“Mom, I’m tired. Can we do this another time?” I felt drained, and she was interrupting my escape.

She was silent for a few seconds, and I was tempted to celebrate her disappearance when she spoke again. “Fine! But remember, I’m still your mother, and I will come by to see that wife of yours. She better be able to make babies, or marrying her will have been a waste of time.”

I moved the phone away and stared at the screen as if at her. I scrunched my face up and brought the phone slowly back to my right temple. Even now, after I was married, she was determined to make me miserable. She didn’t even hope for the best, or even some semblance of civility between Anna and me. It dawned on me then that she was incapable of loving, and of being loved. Because I still didn’t know how to love my mother.

“You don’t need to come. We won’t be there,” I lied. I knew she wouldn’t chance flying half way across the world on the off chance that I might be there. I needed to tell the staff I wouldn’t be available, just in case she decided to phone the house.

“You must get back at one point or another,” she said breathily. And then she was gone.

For most people, those words could have been mistaken for affection over missing someone, or impatience for a dear one’s arrival. From her lips, it sounded and was received as a threat. I despised our frequent arguments, but she was determined to maintain the distance between us. I had grown to appreciate it, knowing what being in her presence would bring. The woman was insufferable and weighed on my every nerve, pinching at them like a crab.

She made Anna look like a perfect seraph—a woman as holy and angelic as the ones in biblical times. Her dark brown eyes penetrated me, and her curves shouted at me from the thin veil of clothing she wore around the house. As I stared out over the body of water, rolling over itself and crashing repeatedly into the shore, I thought about her. She was beautiful, which had attracted me to her in the first place. But other than that, she was exactly what I had asked her to be. She was the wife who obeyed me and was mostly quiet. I didn’t see her except when I ran into her, and usually, her back was turned to me. I was getting exactly what I had wanted, but now the emotional distance between us was noticeable, and she had somehow gotten to me. We’d kissed, and it wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling. In fact, it had been damn good, and my heart sped up at the thought of her lips moving over mine.

My drive didn’t take me anywhere in particular. I circled the car, and then I asked Joshua to take me home again. When I got back, night had fallen. I didn’t expect to see Anna, which was just as well. I wasn’t prepared for any of the questions she might have.

As I walked to my room, I noticed that her door was ajar. I stood in the hallway for a moment, and as I did, my heart thumped. I looked around, feeling like an intruder, and wiped the blotches of sweat that had begun to appear on my forehead. I moved closer to the door, my heart racing and pummeling against my chest. Everything stilled when I saw her curled up under the sheets. She was sleeping, and even in her sleep, she entranced me. My feet made steps against my mental will, and I was drawn to her side. Her breathing was light, and I watched the rise and fall of her breasts with each breath.

Her legs were slightly apart, and one was positioned at an angle of one-hundred-and-twenty degrees. Her skin seemed to shimmer in the soft glow of the bedside lamp she had on, and I wondered if she was afraid of the dark.

I reached out to pull back the lock of hair that partially covered her eyes, but a greater force intervened. Instead of touching her, I bent and my lips kissed her warm cheek lightly.

She didn’t move, and I hastily retreated before I woke her. But what I had originally thought would be easy had turned into an insurmountable feat. How was I supposed to stay away from her when she was just across the hall from me? When my body wanted her so desperately?