“Thanks for picking me up, Ruby,” I said gratefully, securing the seatbelt gingerly about my shoulder and waist. My belly was still flat. Three days in the hospital wasn’t likely to change that, but ever since I found out about the baby and my horrific experience in almost miscarrying, I was very cautious about anything coming too close to my belly. Despite the odds being against him or her, the baby had survived.

“No prob,” Ruby responded, checking her rearview mirror before backing out the parking space of the hospital parking deck. “I’m just glad you two are okay.”

“Yeah, I came so close…” I trailed off, not even wanting to finish the thought. I sighed. “I have so much classwork I will have to catch up on.”

“I did inform the lecturers you had that you were hospitalized,” she stated. “You heard what the doctor said, Debra. You need to take it easy. You had a horrific experience.”

Yes, I had. The last three days had been the most complicated time of my life. The doctor had advised me not to worry, that stress was a possible cause of miscarriage. It had been difficult trying to stay calm and not to panic as my baby fought for its life. A life I hadn’t even known was growing inside me.

I was a mixture of happiness and anxiety. I would need some more time for it to fully sink in that I would be a mother, but the part of me which had accepted it was already overjoyed. How could I not be? This was a part of me and Lucas.

I tried not to think of Lucas. He would be livid about the pregnancy and I knew I couldn’t tell him about the baby. How many times had he made it clear that I had better not be pregnant with his child? I was saddened because we couldn’t be together after this. I couldn’t be with him, knowing he would reject our child, but how would I avoid him? Lucas was very persistent. And he had it in his head that he wanted me. But he couldn’t have one of us. It would have to be both of us or nothing.

For the past three days, I had avoided him. I’d only sent him that message that I was okay because he had sounded worried and freaked out in the voice messages he’d sent me. I hadn’t wanted to talk to him. Not when the baby he didn’t want was in danger of miscarrying.

“I’ll have to give up my job at the diner,” I said heavily. “I need that job. It takes care of my day-to-day expenses.”

“I know you’ve not said anything,” Ruby returned. “But I think I’ve figured out who your baby’s father is and if it is indeed Lucas Caine, you don’t need to work in a diner and put your baby’s life at jeopardy. He’s loaded.”

“I can’t depend on him.” If I did, he would only think of me as the exploiter he already made me out to be.

“Why not? He bears some responsibility for this too.”

“No, Ruby, it was all my stupid mistake. He doesn’t want a baby. Right after we had sex, he told me to get the emergency contraceptive pills but I got them too late. He’ll think I did this spitefully—to have a Caine baby.”

“Hmm, well he might change his mind when he finds out you are actually pregnant. You know, he’s been coming around the room asking for you. He stopped by today.”

My heart squeezed tight. “He did?”

“Yes, and if that guy’s not in love with you, Debra, I don’t know what love is.”

Whether or not Lucas loved me wasn’t so much the issue. All that seemed inconsequential now in comparison to this hurdle I wasn’t sure we could get over together. I was about to ‘confirm’ his worst suspicion of me when he found out about the baby. Which meant he couldn’t find out.

My mind was already racing with how I could conceal the pregnancy from him for the rest of the semester. We were at the end of March, which meant two months to go before the school term ended. This could work. I wouldn’t get big enough for him to know I was pregnant. While we were on vacation, we would go our separate ways. The baby wasn’t due until September when I would be due back on campus for the new semester, but I would figure that one out over time. Besides, this was Lucas’ final year, so even if I returned to campus very pregnant, he wouldn’t be around to see me.

Ruby dropped me off at the residential hall and left, stating she had some errands to run. I told her thanks once more, grateful she hadn’t mentioned my secret to Lucas. I’d thought it only fair to come clean with her after the way she had fussed while I was in the hospital, but I’d sworn her to secrecy. I never trusted girls with secrets before because they blabbed so much, but Ruby was proving to be different. I was glad I had her for a roommate and not some nosy blabbermouth.

I went straight to the bathroom to take a long shower, my hands wandering over my tummy in wonder. Pregnant. A baby growing inside me. I was fascinated at the idea. Before, I’d never given thought to anything remotely similar. All my priorities had been tied to finishing college. I never had time to think about a boyfriend, husband or kids.

Towel-drying myself in the bathroom, I heard a knock at the door.

“Give me a minute!” I shouted and reached for my robe to pull on. I had a suspicion who was at the door and although I didn’t know what to say to him, we had to talk about the relationship not going to work out for us.

I opened the door and my suspicion was confirmed. Lucas looked relieved when he saw me at the door.

“Thank God, Debra. I swear, I was about to call the police and report you missing!” he exclaimed and I opened the door, letting him in.

“I-I had to go away for a while,” I lied, picking up the story Ruby had told me she had fed him.

“But dammit, couldn’t you pick up your phone?” he said with disappointment. “Do you know how worried I was about you? For all I knew, you were kidnapped.”

“I did tell you I was okay,” I replied, moving away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. He reached for my arm to keep me next to him.

“I don’t think you were okay,” he said softly. “I talked to your dad.”

I’d gathered as much from his message to me. “Where?”

“He came here looking for you,” he answered and led me over to my bed where we sat, our knees bumping while he took my hands. “I understand you were upset about your mother. Why didn’t you talk to me about it instead of running off on your own?”

I bowed my head. “I needed some time alone. There was too much to deal with. My father lying, wanting to find my mom, you and I—which I still can’t figure out.” And the baby you don’t want.

“Hey, in case I didn’t make myself clear, I’m down for you, Deb. There’s no figuring us out. It’s you and me and nobody else. Just the two of us.”

I inhaled deeply. I wish I had the courage to tell him it wouldn’t be the two of us anymore, but I’d just gotten back with him and I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. Tears blurred my eyes. I didn’t know what to do. What was the right thing to do? He had been so adamant about the emergency contraceptive pills. What if he wanted me to get an abortion?

I was so confused I burst into tears. Not gentle, quiet sobs either but snotty-nosed, loud cries. I would lose him because of this baby. I knew it but I wouldn’t give up my baby for him.

“Ah, babe, don’t cry,” he soothed, wrapping his arms around me and drawing me closer. I laid my head on his chest and cried. For a mother who had been denied me. And a child I now had to deny a father who didn’t want him.

“Everything is going so wrong,” I sniffed. “Lucas, I’m so afraid about us.”

“Afraid of what?” he asked and I pushed out of his arms to walk to the bathroom to wipe my nose.

He was still sitting on the bed, waiting for a response, when I returned.

“That we’re going to break up again.”

He groaned and beckoned for me to sit beside him. I did.

“I’m sorry I called you a gold digger,” he apologized. “There’s no excuse for it, but when you’re wealthy you learn to be cautious. I can’t remember one girl I’ve been with who didn’t have my money on their mind when we hooked up. I knew you were different, but then I took what your dad said out of anger and believed it. I’m sorry, Debra. You’re a good person. You’re real to me and I should have never thought so ill of you. Will you forgive me so we can put all that behind us?”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled sadly at him. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

I followed his lowered eyes and saw him staring into the V of my robe. My breath hitched, our eyes met, and I never wanted him more than I did in that moment. The fear of the uncertainty of our future together, the opportunity to have him one last time before I had to avoid him, made my desire for him flare.

“Deb, if you don’t want this, I can wait,” he whispered to me.

In response, I kissed him and with a groan, he took over. He laid me on the bed and kissed me sweetly, and our hands were as busy as our mouths, divesting each other of our clothes. I was urgent, wanting us to get our business done before Ruby got in.

Pulling him down on top of me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and he entered me slowly.

“Shit,” he uttered and pulled out. “As good as you feel, all tight and wet around me, babe, I need to get a rubber out my wallet. We can’t keep doing this naked every time and not expect that we’ll get stuck with a baby we’re not ready for.”

I swallowed hard, watching him search his wallet for a condom and got it on in record time.

“Are you okay?” he asked, noticing how stiff I’d become. I tried to relax against him to throw off his suspicion.

“Can we do it slow?” I asked, clutching his shoulders. The doctor had said sex was okay but to avoid rough sex for a couple of weeks.

“It doesn’t matter how we do it, babe,” he answered with a smile and pressed a kiss to my breast. “It always feels so good with you.”

He spooned against my back and slipped his condom-sheathed cock into me from behind. I could feel the difference of the rubber but it still felt wonderful. He rested his arm around my hip and rubbed my tummy affectionately as he slowly worked his hip, penetrating me slowly but deeply.

“Oh, God,” I gasped. The feel of him inside me was indescribable. He was so gentle, kissing my neck and my shoulder, his hand fanning over my belly so softly that tears leaked from my eyes.

He joined our fingers again like the first time we’d had sex and squeezing each other reassuringly, we gasped and moaned and reached completion.

I lay quietly on my side while he hopped naked off the bed and into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He returned to the bed and nestled against my back, pulling the cover up over us.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked, his hand idly brushing a nipple.

“I always do,” I confessed.

“Deb, would you consider going on birth control pills?” he asked but feeling the stiffness in my body at the question, hastened to add. “If you don’t want to, it’s fine. We can continue using condoms, but sometimes, I want you so much I forget until I’m already inside you.”

“It’s fine,” I replied noncommittally. He didn’t need to know why condoms and birth control pills were now unnecessary. “My roommate’s going to be here soon.”

“Come back to my place?” he suggested. “I’ve got something for you anyway. Your dad gave it to me before he left Denver.”

I thought long and hard about it. I had every intention of letting him go once I was out the hospital. It was better not to court trouble, or at least more than I was already in. But I couldn’t resist him. I wanted to be with him so much. Maybe for today, a few days, a few more weeks, I could be with him and when we got back from Easter break, I could make a clean cut.

It could work. It had to. I wasn’t ready to give him up yet.

“Okay. Let’s get dressed.”