“That changed nine months ago when my parents were killed in a car accident and left me behind.”

Fiona’s sobs, the way her body rocked against mine and how she clung to me, repeatedly flashed through my brain as I tried to follow the conversation happening in front of me. Thankfully, the patient—Edith—was a regular and wasn’t a crisis case. I saw her every six months to check her blood levels and to give her new scripts. She was an older lady in her late sixties and waited patiently for me to fill out her anti-depressants. She had been a recent widow when she had showed up at my door and was one of the few female patients I had managed to keep. Her depression stemmed from her husband’s death, and I had seen her ever since.

I handed her the scripts, and she smiled fondly at me.

“You’re looking good, Edith,” I commented. She seemed happier.

“Thank you, Dr. Sullivan. The kids are in town, so I’ve been busy with my grandchildren,” she replied. “You know, you’re looking much better these days too.”

I smirked. “Is that so?” I didn’t even realize I had looked like crap. Leave it to an elderly patient to point it out.

“Yes, that’s what young love will do to you.” She chuckled, and I had to fight the blush threatening to show up on my cheeks.

“You caught me, Edith,” I told her and stood up to walk her out.

“She’s a lucky girl to have caught your interest, Dr. Sullivan,” she said softly.

I smiled. This lady was something else. “Edith, next time I see you, I want to talk about weaning you off your meds, okay? I think you’re ready. Take care.” She nodded happily as she left my office.

Was I that obvious? I plopped down into my office chair and looked out the window. The sun was making its descent, dusting the sky with many hues of purple and pink. The day had been so eventful, so full of Fiona, I almost wanted to pull the sun back up, to have more time to figure out what I should do next.

I didn’t often follow up with patients on a same-day basis. My schedule was usually too packed to do so. There were the few emergencies when a patient had a panic attack in my office, but generally, I would let the doctor on rounds follow up with them and send me the progress notes.

This would be a first in a long time, and I wondered if anyone would be suspicious on the matter. I knew Vickie wouldn’t question me. She never did, even when I surprised her last week by canceling my afternoon. She really was the best secretary.

I picked up the stress ball from desk, one a drug rep had dropped off. Some new anti-anxiety medication’s brand was smacked across the center of the bright orange ball. I leaned back in my chair and threw the ball up into the air. Catch. Release. Catch. Release.

“Looks like the Doctor of the Year has his hands full.”

I caught the ball and turned my attention to my open office door where my colleague and friend leaned against the doorframe, his lab coat slung over his shoulder.

“Good afternoon to you too, Danny. Long time no see.” I continued to throw the ball in the air.

Dr. Dan Sampson took that as his invitation and shut the door behind him, planting himself right down on the couch.

“I’ve been busy and have a few new ones. Though none of them are as cute as the one you have in here on a daily basis,” he replied, raising his eyebrow at me.

“Nice glasses you got there. New prescription? You getting blinder in your old age?” I dodged. His black-rimmed glasses threw off the surfer look he had going, and I called him out on it to throw him off my scent.

“Ah, so you’re attached to this one. I would be too, though it depends on how crazy she is between the sheets, if you know what I mean,” he replied coolly, winking at me.

Danny freaking Sampson. Always so crude. It surprised me how he even had a caseload of patient sometimes.

“She’s simply my patient, Danny,” I explained and threw the ball at him. He caught it, of course. Him and his damn reflexes. He should have played baseball, I thought.

“Just a patient? You canceled a whole afternoon of patients for her.” He laughed and threw the ball back.

“How do you know about that?” I whipped it back harder. The bastard still caught it.

“Really? You’re that clueless about what’s going on around you? Now I know that girl means a lot more to you,” he said. “Vickie had me see a few of your patients that day. Some of them demanded to be seen, I guess. I dictated the notes. They should be in your files on the server, man.”

When he threw the ball back, I barely caught it, focused on pulling up my files on my computer. I scrolled down the notes, and there was Dan’s name at the bottom instead of mine. Now it made sense why I hadn’t had as many early-morning sessions the following day.

“Shit,” I muttered to myself. My head had been in the clouds since Fiona’s arrival. I was constantly on top of my game when it came to my client’s notes, never letting even a missed word slip by. It hadn’t dawned on me until that moment how lately, I had signed off on things I had merely glanced at without a second thought.

“Looks like I hit the nail right on the head.” Dan stood up. “Anyways, whatever you got going on with her, I’m not here to chastise you. It’s refreshing to see you so scrambled like this—like the Dr. Sullivan is actually a human underneath that lab coat.” He smirked.

“Yeah, but if Robert catches wind of this, he’s gonna flip a lid and I lose my job. Fuck, I need to focus.” I groaned and ran my fingers up and down my face in frustration.

“Psh, Robert is more focused on the new nurse’s ass lately, though he thinks I don’t notice when his eyes linger. His poor wife.”

I laughed at the image of Mrs. Dean hitting bald, stout Robert over the head repeatedly with a rolled-up newspaper.

“Though you know you could always transfer her to me and then you could fuck her,” he said nonchalantly and I scoffed in response.

“Danny, I can’t just transfer her to someone when we just got to the root of why she is here. Besides, she’s even mentioned it herself that she wouldn’t feel comfortable opening up to anyone else and it took a little over a week for her to open up to me.” I explained hoping he would get the gist to my dilemma.

He simply slung his coat back over his shoulder and sauntered over to the door, clearly unimpressed by my explanation. “Being in love looks good on you, Josh. Maybe you should give it a chance. Who knows, this could be the one. Even if it is does violate the doctor-patient agreement, I’ll keep your dirty little secret.” He smirked. “See ya around, Dr. Sullivan.”

I watched him leave with the confidence of a quarterback who had just won the Super Bowl. I wasn’t envious of Danny even if I wanted to be. He was older, brasher, and even though his mouth may have earned him a few write-ups, he was still a favorite among not only the patients but also the staff. He enjoyed the single life better than I ever had and was one of the few I could confide in. It looked good on him but it wasn’t the lifestyle for me.

I had to admit, Danny had a point. If I was that obvious, and my work was slipping, I needed to figure out if I should give this an actual shot or not—before our practice administrator noticed my recent fuck-ups, or worse, before I let Fiona slip through my fingers.

The doctor-patient agreement had been in the back of my mind since the first time I held her. Everyone on the staff at Langley Porter was strictly forbidden to engage in a romantic affair with a patient as well as a colleague. It was unethical in our line of work, even if we had witnessed Dr. Rosenberg become smitten with his secretary. However, with a patient, it was hard to look the other way sometimes.

Yet we understood the human brain better than anyone. We were psychiatrists and therapists, for crying out loud. We understood people couldn’t help their feelings. Our brains love being in love and enjoy the antioxidants high from all the butterflies going crazy in the stomach. We all also understood, though, why it was dangerous to get into a relationship with a patient or a colleague.

Patients were a huge no-no, and if caught, a doctor could be fired on the spot, or even worse, sued and kissing their physician’s license goodbye. A relationship with a patient was always painted with the same brush: regardless of who started what, the doctor was in the wrong. Some doctors tried to bypass this altogether and just transferred the patient to another but even that could get complicated with the patient refusing to be transferred or the transfer being unsuccessful. In Fiona’s case, she didn’t want to be transferred, though she didn’t exactly know how much I was feeling for her and who knows maybe if I did let it seep out more than I already have, she would ask for one.

Yet even with all that information gnawing at me every time I saw Fiona, I had failed to pull away from her like I needed to. She was vulnerable and at the lowest point in her life so far. Anything I did to progress our personal relationship further, would be considered taking advantage of her and failing as her doctor. Which was what I needed to be for her, first and foremost. I had to shove down any forbidden feelings that bubbled up, regardless of how we both felt for each other. Her well-being was top priority and by damn would I let her go in the middle of our sessions over some crush I had on her.

So what if Danny had just given me the green light, he wouldn’t be the one scrutinized. It was my career on the line, not his. I got up and walked out of my office with that attitude in mind. I would stop this before it was too late. I didn’t want to lead Fiona on. She was too good for that.

I strolled down the hallways, saying hi to the passing nurses and some patients who knew me. I reached her room within minutes. Her opened door greeted me, so I stepped inside, closing the door behind me for patient privacy.

I glanced around the room and noted that only Fiona’s name was on the nurse’s whiteboard. Then my eyes landed on her, and any previous self-declarations I had about overstepping my boundaries as a doctor went right out the window. Morals and rules be damned. For there she was, sitting innocently on her bed, her long, bare legs stretched out in front of her, her ankles crossed and feet bare as well. She wore a yellow sundress and her nose was buried in a paperback. Her hair was down in natural waves, freshly washed and all to one side. Her eyes so focused into whatever she was reading and it killed me how gorgeous she was, simply sitting there. Heat stirred in my belly as my eyes continued to roam her long and lean figure.

She must have felt my presence because she suddenly glanced up at me and did a double take, closing her book as if I had caught her doing something wrong.

“Dr. Sullivan—I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” she greeted me and got up gingerly from the bed, careful to sweep the dress under her as she stood.

“Well, I wasn’t as busy this evening as I thought I’d be, so I figured I could pop in now.” I shrugged, my mouth going dry. “You look…pretty this evening. Have you got a dinner date in the common room or something?” I tried to bury the compliment into a joke, red flags popping up in my head.

She blushed and shifted, the dress swaying a little as she did so. “I didn’t feel like wearing PJs just yet and hopped in the shower. All Lisa sent me was dresses and skirts this time, so here I am.” She smiled, and I moved closer to her before my brain could even catch up to what my body was doing. All red flags were dismissed as I led myself right over the cliff of desire.

She looked a bit surprised at first when I rested a hand on her waist and pulled her in close, tilting her chin with the other. I was a goner when I felt her quiver under my touch. Any professionalism I was holding onto, was lost in that quiver, my wants taking over. “Fiona, do you have any idea how beautiful you are, inside and out? You are so beautiful, I can’t help but do this. Please forgive me,” I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers in a simple, sweet kiss, nothing else, hoping it would calm the heat that coiled deep in my belly and caused me to lose my self-control. My mouth kept going though before I could stop it.

“I like you a lot, Fiona—a lot more than a doctor should like his patient,” I whispered against her lips. They were as soft as they looked, and I desired nothing more than to continue kissing them. I noticed my partner hadn’t moved or said a word. She only absorbed my sudden feelings onto her frail shoulders, forcing me to step back and realize what I had done. She stood in front of me, looking at me like a lost child, her eyes wide and her body still. Shit.

“Fiona, I-I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Please…forgive me,” I managed to get out as I continued to step backwards, absolutely disgusted with myself.

I had committed one of the worst sins a doctor could in their career and had taken advantage of my patient. I failed to stop myself and my hormones. The sudden need to vomit filled my stomach. I couldn’t look at her surprised face anymore, so I turned around, heading for the door. Like a coward. The doorknob was turning under my grasp, when I felt her hand grab mine, whirling me around to face her.

“Wait… there’s something you need to know…” She trailed off, and my hand was still firmly in hers when I nodded for her to go on.