Elena wanted to move, but it was as if some unknown force kept her lying in the hay, the prickly feeling now most intense against her back. She felt limp, and each time she tried to move her feet, they slid back down. Her crotch felt like it was on fire, and each time she moved, it was as if she were fanning the dying embers of her lost virginity.

“Hey,” Jason said next to her as he shuffled and tried to get a comfortable position in the hay. “What’s wrong?” He touched her shoulder and let his finger trail down to her hand.

She shrugged him off, winced, and tried to sit up. “Don’t!” she snapped. Jason shrank back, and his hand remained suspended in the air. She forced herself to her feet and unsteadily dressed herself again. “This should never have happened.”

Unknown to him, she had been a virgin, and what had just transpired between them was nothing at all like she had planned. She had wanted to wait for the right man—the man she wanted to marry. He would be the only man who’d know her intimately, one she would willingly give herself to on her wedding night. She had not envisioned her first time to literally be a roll in the hay. Prince Jason was known for his many trysts, and she had no doubt she would be counted among his many. It wasn’t a coveted spot or title she wished to bear.

But she had no one to blame. His talk about her brother had broken her. Every time she talked about Christian, she melted because she missed him. The two had been inseparable before he’d enlisted. She had dreaded every moment he had been on tour, and they’d written to each other as often as possible. Until one day, the letters stopped coming and the flag came instead. She had cried for what seemed like months, and every so often, when she was alone, she would still cry.

“I’m sorry, but I thought—”

She spun on her heels and faced the still naked prince as he propped himself up on his elbows. God, he was beautiful, and her eyes couldn’t help searching his body for any physical flaw. He was a fine specimen of a man, and his hardened chest and hairless body made him appear like pottery, sculpted to perfection. She gulped and looked away, only too aware of his effect on her.

“You thought what?”

“That you wanted this too. I didn’t mean to…” He rubbed his hand over his head. “Christ!” He grabbed his tank and looked around for the rest of his things. “You could have said no.”

Elena clenched her jaw and whipped her head around. “Excuse me? Where are we?” She spread her arms wide, indicating the barn.

“I know, I know,” he relented and kicked his foot through one opening of his boxer briefs. “I came here.”

“That’s right. And you had to mention my brother… you took advantage of my weakness,” she accused.

“Whoa, hold on a second,” he plead, his hands help up in defeat, his boxers forgotten as he stood and they fell to his ankles.

It was hard for her to focus with him standing naked in the barn with her. Her gaze dipped below his waist and she averted it quickly.

“I saw that, and you know you wanted it too. You’ve wanted me for a long time, and you were simply too stubborn to admit it.”

“So what? Did that give you the right to come over here and fuck with me?” She shoved her foot inside the pants, hauling them to her waist with such aggression it took longer than usual. She growled angrily, mad at herself more than she was at him.

“Elena!”

Her eyes widened in horror when she heard her father calling her. And he sounded close. Her heart rate sped out of control as she rushed to Jason and grabbed his arm.

“Quick, get in there,” she urged him and pointed to an empty stall at the back.

“What? In there?” he quizzed, his nose turned up at the thought.

“Just go,” she told him frantically and fixed her clothes quickly. She brushed her hair back and looked around wildly for any telltale signs of her shame. She was reaching for the lantern when her father stepped through the barn doors.

“There you are,” he said and looked around suspiciously. “I thought I saw Prince Jason earlier.”

“Nope,” she answered quickly. “I didn’t see him.”

He didn’t believe her. His eyes searched the barn but didn’t readily find anything. “I must be going off. I thought I saw him. Anyway, we’re waiting for you to start dinner. You about done here?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she answered nervously. “Just doing some last-minute checks.”

“Still? You’ve been down here a long time. I thought something might be wrong with one of the horses or something.” He started walking to the first stall as he checked for himself.

Elena felt the panic swell in her, and she glanced quickly at the last stall. If he got there and saw Jason hiding, discovering her in a lie, it would be obvious what had taken place. She wasn’t prepared for that.

“Dad, go back to the house. I got distracted. I’ll refill the water troughs and come up. You can start dinner without me if you like.”

He grunted. “If you say so, but you know Nathan will ask for you.”

She smiled at the mention of her little brother’s name, the purest form of joy in her life. “I’ll be right there.”

“All right.”

Elena moved slowly to the door after he left and watched until he got to the kitchen door. She turned around and almost collapsed when she found Jason right behind her.

“You need to go!”

“Not before I talk to you,” he insisted, holding her the wrist.

“About what?” she snapped and tugged her hand away. She walked around him to get the water for the horses. “Look, this should never have happened. But it did. Now, can we please forget about it?”

“How can I?” he asked softly. “I was your first.”

Elena stopped walking, and she hung her head. “It was not supposed to be like this,” she whispered.

“I didn’t know!”

“And would it have made a difference?” she cried angrily. “Did you even care?”

“Why do you keep throwing this at me? I didn’t rape you.”

“You might as well have.” She sighed and quieted. She trudged to the barrel in the back of the barn and drew water from it. Jason watched her as she did so, but he said nothing.

Her mind was swirling with all kinds of negativity, and she paused in her movement as a jarring realization hit her—what if she got pregnant? The shame she currently felt was magnified as she thought about that, and she turned around hotly on her heels.

“Is this what you do?”

Jason’s brows knitted, and he shoved off the door he was leaning against. “This?”

“Yeah. Sleep with any woman who is willing? Have you fucked anyone else in town?”

Her head was hot, and she didn’t know why she felt more jealous at that thought than enraged she might be pregnant by a man she’d fucked in her father’s barn, albeit a prince. For all she knew, he would tell everyone it wasn’t his, and she would be stuck with an illegitimate child.

“What!?” Jason asked and broke into laughter. “You’re kidding, right?”

Elena folded her hands and glared at him. “Do I look like I’m joking?” He came closer, his arrogance once more turning her off.

“Get out of here!” she cried and pounded his chest. “Go!” The tears came from nowhere, and they poured down her face in torrents. She ran past him and held the barn door open. “Go, before Dad sees you and knows I was lying.” She turned her head to the side and brushed the tears away. As he passed, she looked directly at him. “Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.”

Jason was obviously offended. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

She didn’t answer. She moved aside as he slinked through the door and walked away. Her chest was heaving and she felt faint. She couldn’t believe what she had just done—she had sex with Jason. Jason! She hated herself for it. She had fought with him all along, and it had only taken one brief moment for him to get under her skin and shake her resolve. She felt dirty as she thought about it, and she blew out the lantern before hurrying from the barn. Not all the water in the world was sufficient to wash away the stain of her shame. She dried her eyes, straightened her clothes, and forced a smile onto her face as she prepared to enter the house.

Tears kept her company later that night, and in the morning when she awoke, her pillow was soaked with their residue. She sat on the edge of the bed for a considerable time, feeling her crotch burn as it relived the aftermath of a stupid night with Jason. She stood shakily and hobbled over to the window. She shuffled and twisted her body, shifting her panties from side to side as she tried to get comfortable. Her crotch felt even worse than it had last night—after the fact—and she really couldn’t deny that at least some part of it was pleasurable. Like when he licked her clit. She shuddered at the thought and felt guilty for thinking it. She chided herself because she should have known better.

The morning sun was just creeping over the hills, and usually, she would be down in the barn or feeding the pigs, or even tending the vegetable garden. She wasn’t in the mood for any of it. She was too timid to go downstairs and face her father. She felt like he would see her guilt on her face, and be able to read the shame in her eyes. She had begged him to protect her, and he had promised he would. There was nothing to protect her from now. She might as well marry Jason. But she wasn’t sure he still wanted to marry her. Maybe all he had wanted was the sex, and she had given it to him so easily.

Her ears burned as she thought about it again, and she started to feel sick. She went back to bed and curled up, where she remained for most of the day, only venturing out to use the bathroom and to eat. She knew she couldn’t hide forever, but for the moment, her bedroom would have to do.