CHAPTER FOURTEEN - EMILY
Sean and Philip made it back home just before bedtime. I was on my way upstairs with the kids when Sean walked through the door and insisted I relax.
“I’ll put them to bed,” he said with a kind smile. “You’ve done enough today.”
I was still surprised by the relatively sudden change in his demeanor, but I didn’t complain. With a smile of my own, I stood back and watched Sean disappear upstairs with the kids. He turned around when he reached the second-floor landing, his eyes finding mine. I winked and turned toward the living room, falling onto the couch with a sigh.
“Long day?” Philip asked, sitting down beside me.
“They all are.” I laughed. “But those kids are worth it.”
“That they are,” Philip agreed.
“They’re amazing,” I said. “I’ve been babysitting and nannying on and off for years, but I’ve never grown so attached to two kids so quickly. They’re special.”
“I would have to agree,” Philip said. “But then again, I have known them since the day they were both born.”
“That helps.” I laughed. “I can tell they’re glad you’re here.”
“I am too.” He nodded. “When I insisted Sean get out of San Diego, I never expected him to go so far away, but I think it’s been good for him. I was worried for a while.”
“He had a hard time,” I said. “I don’t know him that well yet, but he was dark for a while. Cold in a way.”
“I know,” Philip said with a sigh. “You should have seen him back in California. There were months when he didn’t so much as smile, not even once.”
“I’m sure losing his wife was hard,” I said with sympathy.
Philip just nodded and looked away. There was something he wasn’t saying, but I was too afraid to pry.
Being alone with Philip for the first time opened up an opportunity for me. So many things about Sean’s past were still a mystery. I had a million questions burning inside me about him, the kids, and their mother. With Sean’s hard attitude, I never worked up the courage to ask him directly but now?
“You can ask me anything you want,” Philip said as if he could read my mind. “I can tell you’re curious.”
“I’ve wanted to ask Sean about his wife for a while,” I said softly. “But he’s usually so closed off that I get too nervous and chicken out. Even the kids don’t talk about her much. Sarah’s mentioned her a couple of times, but that’s it.”
“What do you want to know about her?” Philip asked, turning to face me with an open expression. “Ask away.”
“I guess I’m just curious what she was like,” I said, shrugging.
“Telissa was lively,” Philip said, a faint smile passing over his face. “She was always smiling, and she would laugh at anything. I think that’s what first drew Sean in, you know? She had this laugh that you just couldn’t ignore.”
“That sounds nice.” I smiled and sank deeper into the couch.
“She was,” Philip said. “Telissa was a lot of things, most of them good, but she was also restless.”
“Restless?”
Philip nodded. “She wanted more out of life. Nothing was ever quite enough for her. When she and Sean met, it was intense. Crazy in a way that seemed perfect, you know? They got married, had Tommy, and everything was going great. Until, one day, it wasn’t anymore.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing shocking,” he said. “I think she just got bored. She was tired of living the same life every day. Tommy wasn’t even two yet, and she was exhausted. She lost herself for a while. Her restlessness got the better of her, and she had an affair.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered.
Philip was staring off in the distance, not looking at me. He kept talking, almost as if he were speaking to himself.
“She never told him about it,” he said. “Not for a long time. Even now, I don’t know how long the affair lasted. It could have been a couple nights or a couple years. I don’t even think Sean knows.”
“But he knows about the affair?” I asked.
Philip nodded. “She told him eventually,” he said. “After Sarah was born, Telissa got sick. She was diagnosed with cancer, and for three years, their lives revolved around treatments and hospital stays. Tommy and Sarah basically lived with me during that time. Telissa was weak and constantly sick, but she kept up her spirit, always trying to make people laugh. No matter how bad she felt, she would get on the floor and play with the kids. She refused to miss a single second with them.”
“She sounds strong,” I said reluctantly. I didn’t want to compliment the woman who cheated on Sean. “But I don’t know how he could forgive her for cheating.”
“I don’t know that he ever did,” Philip said. “When she finally told him, she was so sick that he couldn’t leave. Not without being a monster. Even when she admitted that Sarah wasn’t his daughter, he still stayed by her side. Right until the end.”
“Sarah isn’t…” I trailed off.
Philip shook his head and sighed deeply. I blinked, unsure how to process what he said. In all my time with them, I never would have imagined Sarah wasn’t Sean’s biological daughter. He loved her so much. Everything he did proved that.
“I never realized,” I said, shaking my head.
“He doesn’t talk about it,” Philip said. “I doubt he’ll ever even tell Sarah. She’s his. To him, she’s his.”
I smiled and nodded, happy to hear Philip say that. When we sat down on the couch together, I never imagined he would tell me all this. My curiosity had been innocent, but it dredged up a darker past than even my imagination could have cooked up.
“Hey,” Sean said from the foot of the stairs. “Is he bugging you? Because I’ll kick him out. Just say the word.”
“Hilarious,” Philip said, rolling his eyes. “I’m heading up anyway. Have a good night.”
He squeezed my shoulder as he passed. I watched him disappear upstairs before I turned my attention to Sean. He was smiling at me, but when he saw my face, his expression changed. The smile slipped from his lips, and he took a couple steps forward.
“Coffee?” he asked, gesturing toward the kitchen table. I nodded and followed him over.
Sean poured us each a cup of coffee and slid one over to me as he sat down in his usual chair. We were closer than normal, but it still wasn’t close enough. After everything I found out tonight, I wanted to be right beside him, to hold him and be there for him.
“So,” he said. “What’s wrong? When I came downstairs, you seemed off.”
“I just—” I began, but I paused. There was so much to say. I didn’t know where to start.
A look of panic flashed across Sean’s face. “You’re not having second thoughts about last night, are you?” he asked.
“No!” I said quickly. “Not at all. Last night was as perfect as I thought it could be.”
He relaxed in his chair and let out a relieved breath.
“Then what is it?” he asked.
“I asked Philip about Telissa,” I said softly. “I’m sorry, I was curious.” Sean stiffened again. “What exactly did he tell you?”
“About her affair,” I said. “And about Sarah. Sean, I had no idea that any of that happened. I’ve wanted to ask you about her, but I never got up the courage. I was always too afraid to make you uncomfortable, so I just didn’t.”
“I’m not mad,” he said gently. “I’m glad you know the truth.”
“You are?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I am. It’s been hard to live with this secret for so long. The kids don’t know, and I never want them to. Tommy and Sarah both remember their mother as strong and kind. She loved them fiercely, and I never want to take that memory away from them.”
“I know,” I said with a smile.
“Still,” he said. “It’s hard. When they talk about her, there’s so much love and adoration in their voices. I wish I still thought of her that way, but the truth is, I don’t anymore. When she got sick, I was scared to lose her. I was terrified. Then she told me about the affair and Sarah, and everything changed. She wasn’t the Telissa I’d spent so many years loving. She was the woman who betrayed me. Even now, with her gone, I’m still angry with her, and yet part of me still loves her.”
“That’s understandable,” I said. “She was the mother of your children and she hurt you.”
“It wasn’t all her fault,” he said. “I should have known she was unhappy. I should have seen it, but I turned away. I pulled away, and she sought comfort somewhere else. It’s not the cheating that hurts the most. It’s Sarah. Knowing she and I don’t share the same blood is hard. Really hard.”
“You know,” I said, clearing my throat. “I never told you what she and I talked about in the bathroom that night.”
“When she was upset?” Sean asked with a frown.
I nodded. “When we got to the bathroom, she just started crying. I’d never seen her cry before, and it broke my heart. I held her and waited for her to calm down. When she did, she told me she was scared that I would try to replace her mom. She said she really liked me, but that she didn’t want to forget her mom.”
“I thought it might be something like that,” Sean said sadly
“I told her I would never try to take her mom’s place,” I said. “And I told her you wouldn’t let me, even if I tried.”
Sean smiled softly and reached out to take my hand. “Thank you for that.” “She also said she likes having me around because you seem happier when I’m here. She loves you so much, Sean. I promise you, even if she knew, she wouldn’t care that you aren’t her biological father. You’re her dad.”
“That’s why you’re such a great dad,” I said softly. “You’re amazing with her. And Tommy.”
“I’m glad you know, now,” Sean said. “You should know. You take great care of them. You deserve to know their story.”
I smiled. “I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I love Tommy and Sarah. I want to be here for them for as long as I can.”
“We won’t send you away.” Sean laughed. “They would probably kill me if I tried again.”
“I want to be here for you too,” I said softly, my cheeks flushing. “If you’ll let me.”
Sean stood up and leaned across the table. His lips were soft against mine. The kiss was quick, barely lasting a few seconds, but it was long enough to send shivers down to my toes. When he sat back down, the smile on his face was brighter than ever.
I grinned back at him, and we kept talking until our coffee got cold and long after. When we were both finally talked out, Sean took my hand and pulled me to my feet. He led me to his room and closed the door tightly behind us.