CHAPTER TWENTY - EMILY
Sunday morning arrived, and I laid in bed longer than normal. The sun was seeping through my curtains, and I could hear Tommy and Sarah playing downstairs. I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost nine o’clock. It wasn’t like the kids to not wake me up if they got up first, but I wasn’t complaining. Technically, Sundays were my day off, but I never took them as such. Instead, I hung around the house with Tommy, Sarah, and Sean.
As I pushed myself out of bed, I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my body, not bothering to get fully dressed. I didn’t know why I was so exhausted, but I assumed it had something to do with Sean and the toll he’d taken on my body. Having sex with him was earth-shattering, but it always left me trembling and weak. It was no wonder I needed the extra sleep this morning. After yet another night together last night, my body was still recuperating.
I walked slowly downstairs, taking my time. When I stepped into the living room, Tommy and Sarah ran over to me.
“Good morning!” they said together.
“Hey,” I said, yawning wide. “Why didn’t you guys wake me up?”
“Daddy said not to,” Sarah said.
“I thought you could use the sleep,” Sean said from the kitchen. I looked over and smiled. He was grinning at me from the beside the kitchen sink.
“Thank you,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I walked over to him, and he handed me a cup of coffee, gesturing for me to sit down at the table. I did as he said and sat down. He brought over a plate of eggs and bacon and set it down in front of me.
“It’s not as good as yours,” he said. “I’m not a great cook. Just ask the kids.”
“We had cereal instead,” Tommy said from the living room couch.
I laughed and turned to Sean. “I’m sure it’s delicious.”
“It’s not,” he said, laughing at himself. “But it’s edible.”
I ate a couple bites before I couldn’t eat anymore. Sean really was an awful cook, but it was sweet of him to try. He insisted I sit and relax that morning, not letting me do anything other than sip my coffee and move from the table to the living room.
“So,” I said when he joined us in the living room. “Why the sudden insistence that I do nothing?”
“Not nothing,” he said. “Just less. Sundays are supposed to be your day off, remember?”
“I do,” I said with a nod. “But I’ve never taken one off before.”
“Exactly,” he said. “Which is why you should. You work really hard, and we all appreciate it.”
“We do!” Tommy said, nodding enthusiastically.
“You need to rest sometimes,” Sean said. “I knew you wouldn’t, unless I made you.”
“Thank you,” I said, and I meant it.
Sean was right, I wasn’t the kind of person to just take a day off work unless I was really sick or there was some sort of emergency. Besides, the kids never felt like a job to me.
Still, as I sat there watching Sean play with the kids, I knew he was right. They needed some time alone as a family, and I needed time to myself. I realized I hadn’t seen Janie in a while and that it was probably time I call her to check in.
“I’m going to shower,” I said, standing up and stretching. My robe came open slightly to reveal my underwear, and Sean’s eyes lingered on my exposed skin. I raised my eyebrows at him and covered up quickly. He looked at me with desire as I walked past him and slid my hand along his back.
Once upstairs, I jumped in the shower and took my time. I washed my hair and even conditioned it, which wasn’t something I usually made time for. After that, I shaved my legs and washed my body, reveling in the feeling of the soft soap. It felt amazing to be alone, not worrying about having to hurry up in case the kids needed me.
I got out of the shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes before I called Janie, putting the phone to my ear and listening to the rings.
“Hey!” she said when she answered. “I haven’t heard from you in ages. What’s going on?”
“I have the day off,” I said. “Want to grab some lunch or something?”
“Hell yes,” she said. “Where to?”
“Your choice,” I said.
“Sal’s,” she said, and I laughed, knowing that would be her answer.
“All right,” I said. “I’ll meet you there.”
I finished getting dressed and pulled on my shoes before I hurried downstairs. Sean was already getting the kids lunch: sandwiches and chips. It was an easy lunch, and I smiled as he set their plates in front of them.
“Afraid of poisoning them?” I asked playfully.
“You’re hilarious.” He rolled his eyes and then scanned my outfit. “Are you going out?”
“Yeah, I’m meeting Janie for lunch,” I said. “If that’s okay?”
“Of course, you don’t have to ask.” He laughed. “Remember, it’s your day off. You could drive to Denver if you wanted.”
“Not likely,” I said. “Just lunch.”
“Have fun,” he said.
Tommy and Sarah waved goodbye as I made my way toward the front door. I thought about driving to Sal’s, but the weather was so nice that I decided to walk. It was only fifteen minutes away, and I enjoyed the silence and the summer breeze.
It surprised me how much I was enjoying being alone. I’d had so much fun with the kids lately that I never imagined taking a day for myself, but Sean was right. I really did need it. I leaned my head back and let the wind whip through my hair. When I made it to Sal’s, Janie was already there, sitting in at our usual table.
She jumped up to hug me when I walked over to her. We sat down and ordered our food, Janie already having my drink ready and waiting for me. I grinned and took a sip as she talked my ear off about her date last night.
“He was okay,” she said with a shrug. “But nothing special. I mean, he’s cute, but he doesn’t make my heart race, you know? I need my heart to race.”
“I totally understand,” I said, thinking about Sean and smiling to myself.
“What was that?” Janie demanded, pointing at my face.
“What was what?” I asked innocently.
“That little smile,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “You were totally thinking about sex, weren’t you?”
“No,” I said firmly. “Not exactly.”
“Uh huh,” she said, not believing me. “Then what?”
“Just Sean.” I shrugged. “I was just thinking about Sean.”
“What about him?” Janie asked, leaning across the table.
Our food arrived so I didn’t get a chance to answer. We ate and chatted about nothing important while my mind stayed focused on Sean. I wondered what he was doing, if the kids were fighting, or if they were giving him some peace and quiet so he could write. I knew they weren’t. They never did unless I distracted them. Still, I imagined he was having fun playing with them. It was rare that he got them all to himself anymore.
“You’re still thinking about him,” Janie said wisely. “Aren’t you?”
“I can’t help it,” I said with a sigh. “He’s amazing, Janie. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful he’s been lately. I mean, just today, he insisted I take the day off because I work too hard. He told the kids not to wake me up this morning because he wanted to let me sleep in. He even tried to cook me breakfast, which was terrible, because he can’t cook, but still, how sweet is that? I mean, he’s just so caring and considerate. I’ve never known anyone who was like that.”
“Sounds like a dream come true,” Janie said. “But he is right. You do need a day off every once in a while. Watching those kids is your job, not your life.”
“I know,” I said. “But I love it. I really do. Tommy is reading so well now. He’s sped through the last two books I bought him, and he’s halfway through the third. He’ll be way ahead of the other kids when school starts back up. And Sarah, she’s a little nervous to start kindergarten, but I know she’s ready. She’s so smart and spunky, Janie. God, you would love her. Sometimes her little attitude reminds me of you.”
“How?” Janie laughed. “I have the attitude of a five-year-old?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “She has the attitude of a someone five times her age. She’s strong and brilliant, and she knows exactly what she wants. She picks fights with Tommy when she’s bored because she just can’t sit still. It’s all because she’s so smart that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. They’re both such amazing kids, Janie.”
“So, what about your goal to focus on opening your own daycare? What’s happening with that?”
“That hasn’t changed. It’s still in my plan. I just don’t have any idea how I’ll make it work, and for not I’ve got to get myself out of all the school debt.”
“Well I’m happy to see you so cheerful. I’ve never seen you like this about a job,” Janie said.
“Because it’s not just a job,” I said. “And it’s not just the kids. Sean makes it all worth it, too, you know? He’s the best dad I know. I mean, after his wife died, he just took over everything for them. He takes care of them so well. Even when he was dark and moody toward everyone, he was never distant with them. They’re his entire world. It’s amazing.”
“Are you guys still sleeping together?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. “But it’s not just that, Janie. I swear. He’s so nice, and I really like him. I mean, the sex is unbelievable. There’s never a night when I don’t go to bed completely satisfied, but I’m just as excited to see him in the morning, you know? It’s like I can’t get enough of being around him or the kids.”
“Sounds like you’re in love,” Janie said with a knowing smile.
“What?” I scoffed. “No. We don’t even know each other that well yet. I’m not in love with him. Not yet anyway.”
“You are,” Janie said with confidence. “I can see it.”
I just shook my head and took another bite of my food. Janie’s confidence meant nothing because I knew myself better. There was no way I was in love with Sean Evans after just a few weeks of knowing him. Him and his kids barely moved to town. Sean and I just started sleeping together. I liked him a lot, but this wasn’t love. Not yet. It couldn’t be, could it?
After we finished our lunch, Janie and I said goodbye and parted ways. I took my time getting home, still playing my conversation with Janie over in my head. She seemed so sure that I loved Sean. The way she looked at me was full of certainty and confidence, but I didn’t want to believe her. Sean and I were just getting to know each other. There wasn’t any reason to rush things between us, and it was especially too early to be throwing around the word love.
Still, as I walked through the door and my eyes fell on Sean’s face, my heart skipped a beat. The kids ran up to hug me and ask if we could all play a game. I said yes, but I felt distant the whole time. I could barely raise my eyes to meet Sean’s gaze, and when I did, I didn’t hold it for longer than a second.
I went to bed that night, still thinking about Janie’s words, and terrified of my own feelings. What if she was right? What if, already, I was falling in love with Sean Evans? How would I deal if I found out that Sean didn’t share the same feelings for me?