CHAPTER FOURTEEN - VIOLET
After another round of property tours the next day, Sebastian and I parted ways again. I asked him about dinner plans, if we were meeting with Paula and Steve and he avoided my eyes, giving me a brusque reply.
“No, we're on our own tonight,” he said.
“Should we grab something at the resort?” I asked, feeling hesitant to suggest it.
“I'm just going to call in room service and stay in,” he said. “I'm really tired.”
Biting my lip, I nodded. I didn’t argue with him because I didn’t want to face the rejection I was sure he would give.
“Okay, I guess I'll do the same then,” I said.
Sebastian looked over at me, and there was a sadness in his eyes. “Maybe you should go out,” he said. Go and have a little fun. See Bali, Violet. The company will pick up the tab.”
Truthfully, I didn't want to go out without him. The idea of eating alone in a place like this just made the heartache that was crippling me even worse. That last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by couples when I was alone and my heart was breaking. No, thank you.
I shook my head. “No, I think I'll just eat dinner on the deck outside the bungalow. It'll be nice. Maybe I'll go for a swim.”
He nodded. “Just let me know if you change your mind.”
I so badly wanted to stop him, to ask him what had changed or whether our night had just been a one-time thing for him. I didn't think so, not after what he'd said the next morning, but I was suddenly feeling insecure and uncertain. I wanted to fix things, to make them right, but I also didn't want to be clingy and crazy like Jessica either.
So instead of having a meltdown, we parted ways. I went to my bungalow and he went to his. As much as I wanted to sit on my bed and cry over how quickly my dreams had been shattered, I forced myself to put on my bikini. I was in Bali, goddammit, and the last thing I was going to do was lock myself in my room and cry into my pillow.
My bikini was a sexy two-piece, vintage style with the high waist that accentuated my curves. At one time, I pictured how hot I'd look wearing it for Sebastian and the effect it would have on him. But now, he wouldn't even see it because he was keeping his distance.
I stepped out onto the deck, walked to the edge, and dipped my toe into the water. The water was warmer than I thought it would be so I slipped into the ocean, dunking my head and staying underwater for a bit, just floating there and feeling all the tension in my body seeming to float away on the currents.
When I came back up for air, my eyes fell on Sebastian's bungalow. I caught him at the window, staring out at me. But the moment our eyes met, he turned and walked away from the window as fast as he could. I floated on my back, staring up at the sun, trying to relax as best I could. I wanted to forget all about Sebastian and Jessica and all of the drama. I was in paradise and didn't want to think about the real world and all of its bullshit for a while.
The sun set, and it was starting to get chilly, so I climbed out of the water and reached for the towel. As I wrapped it around my waist, I caught sight of Sebastian looking over at me again. This time, he was sitting on the deck by himself, eating what looked to be a very nice dinner.
He was close enough, I considered swimming over to him, but I could tell he wanted to be left alone. Still, when our eyes met, I could see that he was regretting that decision.
Dropping the towel, I decided to walk around in my bikini, just to show him what he was missing. Since I knew he was watching me, I figured that I'd give him a show. I'd make him regret pulling away. I picked up the room service menu as I sat down, crossing my legs and looking it over. Once I knew what I wanted, I called the order in.
Sebastian was still across the water from me, staring at me as he ate. I stared back, hoping it might make him react, do something, say something. When it didn't, I looked away and stared out at the ocean.
My phone rang, and at first, I assumed it was room service calling to confirm my order. But when I looked down at the screen, I was surprised to see that it was Sebastian. I looked across at him, and saw him point to the Bluetooth in his ear. I grinned to myself and shook my head.
Picking it up, I teased, “You know, you could just walk your sexy little ass over here if you wanted to talk.”
He was quiet for a moment, as if he didn't know what to say.
“I can't be there with you, Violet. Especially with you looking like that,” he said. “It's dangerous.”
“What do you mean it's dangerous?” I said, scowling in his direction.
“Because I wouldn't be able to control myself. After the other night – ”
I knew exactly what he meant. “So don’t control yourself. We're both consenting adults, Sebastian. We did nothing wrong.”
“Violet,” he said softly. “I can't be with you that way . I just can't.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Is this about Jessica?”
Sebastian sighed, and for the first time since we'd started talking, he looked away from me.
“Well? Is it?” I pressed. “Because ever since she knocked on the door, you've been acting like a completely different person, so I assume – ”
“Yes and no, Violet,” he said, stopping me. “Yes, it does have to do with her somewhat. But not in the way you think it does. It actually got me thinking that I just can't do this to you. What about your family? Your mother? What would she think if she found out your dad's best friend was sleeping with you. Christ, I'm old enough to be your father, Violet.”
“And I don't care. About any of it,” I said. “My mom, well, she can think whatever she wants, but I'm a grown woman. I can make my own decisions. I can be with whoever I want and I don't let anybody tell me I can't.”
“I'm not sure it's that easy, Violet,” he said. “If I were anyone else, maybe so, but – ”
“But what? Sounds like maybe it's you who can't deal with the fallout, Sebastian,” I said, my blood starting to boil. “Maybe you're the one who can't handle the world knowing you're sleeping with your best friend's daughter because you're ashamed. Am I right? Does that about sum it all up?”
He didn't answer for a moment. “Listen, I didn't want to argue with you.”
“Then what did you want, Sebastian?” I asked. “Because dammit, I am tired of being treated like a child. Not just by you, but by everybody. You don't have to watch out for me, I am actually pretty capable of taking care of myself.”
“I called because I wanted to tell you that you were beautiful,” he said.
And then there was a click as he disconnected the call. I stared across the water with tears in my eyes, as he picked up his glass of champagne and went inside his bungalow, closing the door and the curtain so I couldn't see inside.
Dammit, Sebastian. Dammit all to hell.
Suddenly, the very idea of dinner didn't appeal to me at all. All I wanted in that moment was a bottle of something I could drown my sorrows in. When room service came, I put in the request for some wine, and I sat there, staring down at my food, scallops with a white wine sauce over rice and fresh asparagus, something I would have scarfed down in a heartbeat if I wasn't too busy hurting.
When the knock sounded at my door, I assumed it was room service again.
“You're fast,” I said, wiping my tears away with my hands.
I opened the door, but instead of room service, it was Sebastian. And as soon as he saw me, he pushed through the door, shut it behind him and kissed me harder than he'd ever kissed me before.
We didn't even make it to the bedroom this time. He pushed me up against the wall and pulled my bikini bottom down, dropping to his knees in front of me. Without saying a word, Sebastian started eating me out, savoring me like I was the finest, juiciest piece of fruit he'd ever put his mouth upon.