Chapter Twenty-Five
Dwayne
I wanted to reach out to Gillian tell her that everything would be okay, but I knew that she wouldn’t believe me. If only she’d seen the things that I’d seen — she wouldn’t be worried about some punk with a knife. She’d be clinging to me, ready to have a good time. Instead, she stared out the window the entire drive and slumped back when I pulled into the lot.
I didn’t know what to say to her. I’d never been in this situation before, so I put on a smile and said, “Come on. Let’s go dance.”
“Alright.” She tried to perk up, but her smile didn’t reach as far as it should’ve and she kept her head down when we walked into the bar.
It was a dive, low lit and drenched in the smell of rolled cigarettes and liquor, but Jesse was already up on stage, letting his deep southern voice fill the air. I felt the beat instantly and watched it hit Gillian, like a drug just starting to take effect. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bar.
“What’ll it be?” the bartender yelled over the music.
“Two shots of whiskey,” she said.
“No, I-”
“You’re drinking and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Fine, one shot, but I still have to take you home.”
“Here you are.” The bartender slapped the drinks down, spilling the amber liquid.
“What should we drink to?” I picked up my glass.
“To a night together.” She clinked her glass against mine and downed her shot like water.
“May there be many more.” The whiskey went down hard, but it felt good to have the warmth spreading throughout my body.
We turned back to the dance floor. Jesse nodded his head at me with a wink. “He’s sober,” I whispered.
“Not for long, I’m sure. Let’s dance.” She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out there.
“I’m not very good at this.”
“That’s okay.”
Right on cue, the music changed and the beat was slower. Jesse was smiling. He did it on purpose. “Just pull me close,” she said.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and let her rest her head on my chest. “That’s where you belong,” I whispered.
She looked at me with wide, serious eyes, then rested her head back down. She was so innocent, untouched by the bitter things in life. I felt tainted, like I wasn’t good enough for her. I’d never stop trying to find ways to thank her for what she was doing to me.
I realized I hadn’t had any flashbacks since our first night together. Michael had told me that I needed a distraction to get past the things I’d seen, and he was right. Gillian was the perfect distraction. When she was around, that world felt distant, like it didn’t exist at all.
“Gillian,” I said.
She looked up, “Yes?”
“You’ve made everything so much easier on me. I want you to know that. I was so scared when I first got out… I’ve seen a lot, and it hasn’t been easy for me to move past it. I just want you to know you mean a lot to me.”
“We have something, don’t we?”
“I think we do.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, this singer needs to wet his throat. We’ll be back in a moment.” Jesse walked off stage to get a drink.
“I’ll be right back,” Gillian excused herself and walked into the bathroom.
“Hey, bro.” Jesse walked up, holding a beer.
“How are you?”
“Tired. We’ve been all over the south, and we still got two shows in Gulfport. I don’t know how I’m going to make it.”
“You run out of weed?”
“Never.” He chugged his beer. “Who’s that fine thing you’re with? Is that Gillian?”
“Yeah.” I looked back to the bathroom door.
“Fucking sexy, dude.”
“Back off,” I warned as I took a step forward.
“Hey, hey…” He held out his arms. “I’m just saying. You got yourself a keeper.”
“You really think so?”
“I saw the way she was looking at you on the dance floor. That’s not just sex.”
“I’ve never been one to trust your judgment, you know that, but I think you might be right.”
“I am.” He chugged his beer and walked back to the bar.
“Were you two talking about me?” Gillian came up behind me.
“I… No…”
“It’s okay,” she laughed. “I’m just fooling with you. You wanna go dance?”
“Of course.” She pulled me back onto the dance floor.