Chapter Thirty-One
Dwayne
I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a house filled with the smell of lilacs. She was everywhere — in the sheets, the air, the walls, soaked into the carpet. The smell dug into my nostrils and didn’t leave, even when I left that night to go to work. I watched the cameras all night, determined to rush out at any sign of movement, but nobody came.
The next night, the smell was starting to fade, and I was tired from staying up all night. But I didn’t give up. I kept a coffee by my side at all times and rarely looked away from the cameras. I skipped lunch and worked through my breaks, hoping to find something, but I didn’t.
The nights were starting to melt together into one long caffeine-fueled ordeal. I drank so much coffee that my hands were starting to tremble and the world faded into a soft haze, somewhere between the sands of the Afghani desert and my tiny office.
I lost track of time, focused only on finding the prick that thought he could come into my domain. I started to think of the building as my own. I guarded the databases in the basement and watched over the parking lots like a lion protecting his land.
When I wasn’t sleeping or working, I kept my phone close. Gillian would text in short bursts, asking how things were going and wondering when she could see me. It broke my heart that our schedules conflicted so much, but there was nothing I could do. I had to find this man. My job was dependent on it.
It must’ve been at least five days in when I got to work and found the office manager, Julie, standing outside the back door with a thin cigarette pressed between her blood red lips. “I need progress,” she said when I walked up. “You still haven’t found the people that are doing this, and the tenants are starting to get worried. What is taking so long?”
She was the kind of woman that lashed out if she wasn’t respected. She wanted me to say yes ma’am and be submissive, but I wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction. “They haven’t come yet, and I don’t have super powers.”
“If you can’t do it, I can find somebody who will.”
“If you’re that dumb, then you have no place being in a position of power. Nobody’s going to pull this guy out of their ass. I’ve come at this from every angle. All we can do is wait.”
She threw her cigarette down and ground it against the pavement with her heel. “I fucking hate that you’re right.”
“It sounds like you just have to find a way to relay the argument to whoever’s coming down on you.”
“Bankers think money can solve everything. It’s all they care about. I’m not going to convince them of anything. Just stay awake. If you fall asleep, I’ll cut off your cock and feed it to you raw, you got that?”
“You’re underestimating me.”
“Good.” She lit another cigarette and walked off.
I spent the entire night watching the cameras and going over the feeds. The only time the man showed up were the times that Fred had told me about. There was no more evidence for me to go over. All I could do was stare at the cameras, and I did so for two more nights, waiting for something to happen.
When I got home the next morning, my mind was racing. I kept going over what I would do if I saw the guy and what I would say when I finally caught him. I went over everything I could, up until that final moment when the cops dragged him away. I couldn’t stop. I tried closing my eyes and falling asleep, but I kept going back to that moment, thinking about how wonderful it would be when this was finally over and I could go back to working days.
The sun was shining through my blinds, so I turned away from the window and threw a pillow over my head to block out the light, but it wasn’t enough. My body was starting to feel the weight of staying up at night, and it was trying to get back at me.
I ended up having to take a sleeping pill just so I could calm my mind long enough to get some rest. When I woke up, it was dark, and I was still stuck in a haze. When would this be over? I got up and started making my bed like I always did.
Normally, I never missed a workout, but I was too tired and my head was hurting from the caffeine withdrawals, so I got dressed and headed out the door. A pair of lights hit me in the face, and I had to cover my eyes to see what was happening.
Gillian was pulling into the driveway. I felt relief wash over me. She got out of her car and walked up, her arms crossed over her chest. “Hey,” she seemed subdued.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I just needed to see you.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been so worried. I can’t think. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see you bleeding out on the pavement. I can’t take it.”
“I know. It’s been hard for me, too.”
“Dwayne, I think we need to take a break.”
“What are you saying? No, Gillian…”
She looked away. “I can’t keep worrying about you like this. It’s not healthy.”
“It’ll be over soon.”
“I’m sorry.” She walked back into her car and drove away. I wanted to go after her, but I knew that if I did, I’d just push her away. She had every right to be upset. If I was in her situation, I would’ve lost my mind a long time ago. I probably would’ve ended up driving to her work and dragging her out of there just so I could be sure that she was safe.
I had to be fair to her and respect her decision, but how could I possibly do that feeling the way that I did? I kept thinking about what it was like to be on top of her, watching her throw her head back while I thrust myself inside her. All of the nights we’d spent together washed over me in an unbearable wave. I’d never get another chance to taste her lips or smell the sweet scent of her perfume.
I tried to focus on driving, but there was no way I was going to get through this. I was completely broken. Gillian had changed my life. She took away my flashbacks and pulled me out of my shell. I was lost before I met her. I’d had no purpose, and these past few weeks, I’d been living for her. Now that she was gone, I didn’t know what I was going to do.
The office manager was waiting outside smoking one of her ridiculously thin cigarettes when I pulled up. I got out to meet her. “This isn’t going to make things go any quicker.”
“Yeah, well, fuck you, too.” She threw her cigarette down. “He was here.”
“What?”
“Earlier today. The little shit took out all our cameras with one swipe of his knife.” She pointed on bright red claw at the security console. The front of the black plastic box was open and there were wires sticking out.”
“What about the contractors? Where’s Fred?”
“He says they have to come in the morning.” She sounded like she wanted to punch a wall. “You’re patrolling the building on foot tonight.”
“Are you going to be here? Do you want to put me on a leash and drag me around?”
“You know what?”
“What?”
When she smiled, her teeth were bright yellow. “I like you. I think you can do this. Don’t fuck up and call me as soon as you find out something.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She walked off without another word. I went back up to the office, where all of the feeds had gone black, just like she said. I grabbed the mouse and turned back the cameras to nine in the morning, focusing only on the back lot.
The office workers were standing around outside talking and smoking, some with obvious hangovers. Then they went inside and the lot was empty for two hours until somebody came out back to have a cigarette. When they walked back in, I caught a flash of black walking around the corner. I zoomed in and stopped the feed to get a better look.
The sun was creeping under his hoodie, giving me a clear view of his bright red bald head. It was Jason.
I laughed. It was just like Gillian had said. The fates were in love with irony. I spent years trying to get away from that man, only to find myself hunting him down.