Chapter Thirty-Two
AMBER
When I first glanced up and saw the man in the tuxedo and the black Stetson hat I thought, “Wow, he favors Kyle.” That didn’t surprise me. I found myself looking for him everywhere I went and often found someone who looks like him. I chastise myself for it all the time. It’s a sickness to be so attracted to men who treat you poorly – my therapist had told me so more than once. I started to ignore him even though he was staring at me…but then I saw he cane. I looked back up and realized that those hazel eyes were unmistakably his. My body was shaking so hard, I wasn’t even sure if I trusted it to hold me up as I stood. What is he doing here? I started towards him and he towards me. We stopped about three feet from each other.
“Hi, Amber,” he said it as if we’d only just seen each other last week. It has been six months to the day and every one of those days has been like torture.
“Kyle, what are you doing here?”
“Um…” he adjusted himself with the cane. Why is he using a cane…and he’s so thin… “I was hoping we could talk,” he said at last.
“Kyle, are you okay? Are you sick?”
“Can we sit down?” I looked at the time. It was still a little over an hour before I had to board my flight. If he’d looked well, I liked to think I would have been strong enough not to give him the time of day. He’d literally broken my heart – all of me, as a matter of fact. But something wasn’t right and no matter how angry I still wanted to be with him, I didn’t want to see him sick or hurt.
“Okay.” He followed me over to a seating area where there wasn’t anyone else for a few rows and we sat down. He looked like whatever he came to say was sticking in his throat. I thought about running into Sarah the other day and I knew she must have sent him. “Kyle, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know where to start,” he said. “My sister told me once that the reason people get married and stay married is because they can’t imagine living without the other person. At the time I made a crack about that being a silly romantic notion. But the truth is Amber, I’ve tried living without you so many times since I met you – and I just can’t. I mean, I wake up every morning and I’m still breathing. But you can ask anyone… I’m not living. I only wake up because I have to and the only reason I keep breathing is because I know you’re somewhere not too far away breathing the same air. I never stopped loving you, Amber. I can’t stop loving you and I don’t want to live without you.”
My eyes were burning with tears. They were, in part, angry tears. How dare he put me through this and then show up when I’m finally getting on with my life and tell me all of the things I so desperately needed to hear months ago? “Until the next time you decide we should see other people, right?”
He looked down at the floor and swallowed hard before looking back up at me. There were tears in his eyes, too. “I never saw anyone else, Amber. For me, there is no one else. Since the day I realized I could never love Callie the way I love you, I haven’t as much as thought about being with another woman. There’s only you and if I can’t ever be with you again…then I’ll be alone.”
My head was spinning, my heart was aching, and my limbs were shaking so hard my teeth were chattering. “I don’t understand, Kyle. Why are you doing this to me?”
“I’m so sorry, baby. I thought I was doing it for you. The day I went to the doctor and I told you everything was good…and then I told you that made me want to live my life and be with other people, I lied. The tumor was not only back, it was cancer. All I could think about were the nights I held you while you trembled because of what you’d been through with Dylan. At that time, my prognosis was up in the air and I couldn’t ask you to marry me knowing there was a good possibility of leaving you a widow and making you go thorough watching me shrivel up and die…”
“Oh, Kyle… Jesus, you are so stupid.”
He laughed and wiped a tear away that rolled out of his pretty eyes. “I’m not going to argue with that.”
“Kyle, when you love someone, it’s not only about the fun and the good times. Truly loving someone means that you actually want to be there for them when they’re sick or hurt or just having a bad day. Let me ask you a question. Did you enjoy being with me the nights I woke up screaming after I’d had a dream about Dylan?”
He looked like he was thinking about it and then he said, “I don’t think enjoy is the right word, but I was glad I was there, for you.” I looked at him for a long time before I saw it click on his face. “I just love you so much, Amber. I hate the thought of making you unhappy…” That clicked, too, and I let it settle in before I said,
“You did make me unhappy by pushing me away. I’ve never been unhappier than when I wasn’t with you. Oh, Kyle…life is never going to be perfect, but the beauty of it is having someone to share it all with.” I reached up and took off his hat. His hair was growing back in places. It was soft-looking and fuzzy like a baby chick. I ran my fingers through it. “You poor thing… God, I wish that you would have let me be there for you.”
“You’re right. I’m an idiot. The next time I think I’m doing the right thing, I guess I should run it by someone else first. The cancer is gone, for the most part. I have to still do another thirty radiation treatments, but the prognosis is good. Is there any possibility you would consider giving me another chance?”
I sat his hat back on his head and put my hand on his thin face. He was pale and drawn, and his suit looked like he bought it before he lost fifty pounds…but he was still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. I considered playing hard to get a little bit and making him work for it, but the truth was I know we’re not playing here. This was the most real thing I’d ever felt in my life and I couldn’t even pretend that it wasn’t. “Only if you promise that you’ll always be honest with me…and that you’ll never leave me again.”
The tears were already spilling down my cheeks as he took my hand and said, “I promise to always be honest.” He started to slide down off the chair then to the floor. He was struggling with it and I wanted to help him, but I knew that would only embarrass him. I could hardly see through the tears as I realized what he was doing. Once he was on one knee he continued, “I also promise I will never leave you again. I brought a ring in case you wanted proof of that.” He smiled and blinked his eyes a few times before saying, “Amber Reed Scott, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m sorry that I’m so stupid. I wanted to do this six months ago and I should have. Will you please consider marrying me? After my hair grows back and I can walk right again.” He grinned when he said the last part. He’s fought so hard through all of this and I was so proud of him. I’d gladly walk down the aisle with him, even pushing a wheelchair with him as bald as an eagle. I was not in love with his hair or his ability to walk. I was in love with his soul and it consumed me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and it felt so good to touch him. He put his arms around my upper back and held me there. This was what I missed the most. I never felt safer than when I was in his arms. When I finally got ahold of myself I pulled back and said, “Yes.”
“Yes, you’ll marry me?”
I laughed and wiped at my face. “Yes, I’d love nothing more than to be your wife. I’d marry you right now Kyle – today.” He hugged me again and then he started planting kisses all over my face. When he pulled back, he was smiling. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto my left hand. It fit perfectly – just like he and I do. I rested my arms on his shoulders and leaned down so that our lips met. Time and space mean nothing where my feelings for this man are concerned. The kiss was as explosive as the first one we ever shared, even more so when I thought about the fact that I was going to fall asleep and wake up with that kiss on my lips every day for the rest of my life. I looked down at his tux again and said, “Kyle? Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
I giggled. “Did you rent that tux just to ask me to marry you?”
He grinned. “No, but if it helped you say yes, I’m keeping it.”
“You look really handsome in it. Why are you wearing a tux?”
“Greg got married today.”
I pulled my face up and looked at him to see if he was kidding. “Greg? Married?”
Laughing, he said, “Yep…it’s proof.”
“Proof of what?”
“That love really does conquer all. He was my inspiration for coming here today.”
“Well then, now I’m his biggest fan.”
“Do you want to go eat some wedding cake and have a glass of champagne with me?”
I thought about my luggage and the seven hundred dollar airline ticket, but only for half a second before I said, “I’d love to. I’ll drive…”
He struggled to his feet and I handed him his cane and stood up. He took my hand and said, “How about we come back later for your car? I’ve always wanted to make out in a limo…”
I wasn’t sure if he was serious about the limo, but making out with him sounded like heaven. “I love you, Kyle.”
He stopped walking and looked at me and said, “I love you more.” He was wrong, but I could live with letting him think that.
Get my never released free book Boarded for a limited time.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2017 Naomi Niles