PART THREE
Chapter Twenty-Three
Taylor
I slipped in to my room, turned off the light, then slid under the covers. I was still humming from sex, but I couldn’t have stayed with Dylan – not with my mother in the house. I caught my breath when her footsteps stopped at my door. She couldn’t have seen me cross the hall in the dark and I’d closed the door quietly.
I squeezed my eyes shut and steadied my breath. She opened my door. Shit. I hoped that I wasn’t sweating. She’d know I hadn’t been sleeping, but I pretended to be.
She sat on the edge of my bed. Could she even see me in the dark?
I guess if she sat there long enough.
She began to hum a song she used to sing to me when I was a little kid. Should I pretend to wake up? I was a notoriously deep sleeper, so her singing shouldn’t wake me up under normal circumstances.
Did my mother want to talk? I rolled over. “Mom?”
“Did I wake you? Sorry, Taylor.”
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Your father is awake, and he’s going to be okay.”
“Wow, that’s great, Mom.” I was excited. I hugged her. This was great news. “Can I go see him in the morning?”
“After school. He’ll be in the hospital a few days before he can come home.”
“What about his car?”
“It’s totaled,” she told me.
I nodded then realized that she couldn’t see me in the dark. “Do you need to talk?”
“I just need some company.”
“You want to crawl in here with me?”
My mother and I hadn’t been close in years, but she was still my mother. She loved me and my father. Maybe she’d even learn to love Dylan.
“Thanks.”
She crawled in beside me, her head on my shoulder. Kind of role reversal as I used to always lean on her. She was all alone in the world without me and my father. She had been an only child and her parents had died a few years ago.
“Did you talk to Dad?”
“I did. He’s coherent and knew what day it was. The docs say he’ll make a full recovery.”
“That’s good.”
“What did you and Dylan do?”
It was an innocent question and shouldn’t make me pause, but it did. She had no idea that we’d had sex. I felt so different and I was just trying to act like I didn’t.
“He heated up some leftovers for dinner and made me eat, and then I came to bed. I don’t know what Dylan did after that.”
“He must have cleaned the kitchen because it was spotless,” she said.
“He must have after I came to bed.”
“He isn’t so bad.”
“I know that, Mom. Why don’t you give him a chance?”
She lifted her head off of my shoulder, putting it on my other pillow. “I’m just worried that he’s going to snap and do something.”
“He’s never been violent.”
“He got into a fight.”
“That’s not fair. He was defending me. That should give him some points in your mind,” I said.
“I guess. I guess I resent that your father just tilts at these windmills and I have to be the practical one. He always gets to be the fun one.”
“What would you do if you were the fun one?”
She laughed. “I don’t know, I’d have to think about it. I’ve just always taken on the serious role.”
“Maybe when I go to college you can be fun again.”
She laughed. “For the record, I was fun before you came along.”
“Sorry.”
“No, Taylor, you shouldn’t be sorry. I wanted you and I wanted to be home to raise you. It’s just so easy to get so focused on raising a child that you lose yourself.”
“Do you think you lost yourself?”
“Yes, I do, but that’s on me. Not on you. I made these decisions.”
“Then try to get that woman back.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“How hard can it be, Mom?” I said. “Just remember the person you were and do things that she would.”
She laughed again. “The optimism of youth.”
“Try it. Would you go back to work? Write a book? What? Dream, Mom.”
She shifted onto her back. “I think I’d like to get my real estate license and sell houses.”
“That’s great, Mom. Don’t you think Dad would support that?”
“Oh, he probably would.”
“I’m sure he wants to see you happy. He isn’t an ogre.”
“No, he isn’t, Taylor. He’s a good man, but I think he likes to come home to me here.”
“Well, he can adapt.”
“He’s going to miss you when you go off to college.”
“I’m going to miss him, too.” And so I didn’t hurt her feelings, I added, “And you.”
“I think we will get along better when you are far away.”
I didn’t want to go far away. I wanted to go to nursing school right here. I wasn’t ready to tell her. She might be amenable to it at the moment, but I didn’t want to break the magic of this moment – my mother and I getting along. It didn’t happen often, so we usually avoided each other. Peace in the house was kept that way.
Maybe my parents should have had another child so my mother could have had someone close to her like Daddy and I. Then she might not feel so alone. “You seem lost.”
“I guess I just got scared with your father in the hospital.”
“They say life is short.”
“You can’t know that. Your life is ahead of you. This is an exciting time,” she said.
It was and made more so by Dylan in my life. I had strong feelings for him – ones that I had never experienced with someone else. Feelings that I wanted to explore, even if my parents didn’t approve.
“You must be tired.” She kissed the side of my head. “I’ll let you go back to sleep.” She climbed out of bed and in the darkness, I could see her turn to me. “Thanks, Taylor.”
“You’re welcome, Mom.”
***
Daddy came home a few days later. He was supposed to go to a rehab facility, but he wanted to be home. He was still sore and the stitches on his face were still in. He looked like a battered version of my father.
Dylan helped him into his favorite chair in the living room.
“What can I get you, Daddy?” I said.
“Nothing right now, kitten. Just sit with me.”
My mother left us alone, as did Dylan. Dylan and I hadn’t had a chance to talk seriously about what happened the other night. I wanted it to happen again, but he seemed to be avoiding me.
I sat next to my father. The living room had no television per my mother’s orders. She thought the living room was for family or entertaining guests. She didn’t entertain guests, but still, no television in the living room.
My father looked thin, but his color was better than it had been in the hospital.
“You getting a new car?” I said.
“Yes, but it’ll be a few weeks before that happens. I need to get the money from the insurance company.”
I nodded. “Your insurance company or the other person’s?”
“The other person’s because they were at fault,” he said.
“That’s why you buy insurance.”
“Right, kitten.”
I nodded then fell silent.
“Tell me about school.”
“Well, the prom is coming up,” I told him.
“Who are you going with?”
I laughed. “I haven’t been asked yet.”
“Do you have someone in mind?”
I did. I wanted to go with Dylan, but I wasn’t sure how that would work. He was avoiding me and I doubted that he’d ask me. I doubted that my father would be okay with it, unless he thought Dylan was doing me a favor.
Hm. I would have to think about that angle. I might be able to make this work.
“No, Daddy.”
“Are your friends still not talking to you?”
“They aren’t, but they really aren’t my friends. I have Helena and Dylan and that’s it.”
“Doesn’t it make it hard to be the captain?”
I laughed. “Actually, it makes it easier. No one is asking me to cut them a break. I have a feeling soon Bailey or Barbie will start talking to me again just so they can whine about how I’m running the squad.”
“I guess you’ve learned a lesson.”
“I have.”
I really had. Helena was my best friend and she really was the best. Dylan, well, I didn’t know what we were. He’d been taking the bus or getting a ride to school. Supposedly, he had a project due, so he’d been going into school early.
I suspected he just didn’t want to talk to me. Maybe he was embarrassed about the other night. We had to talk. He had to know that I was so glad that he was my first.
“Are you and Dylan getting along?” my dad asked.
“Yes, we are, Daddy.” Better than you could hope, I continued silently.
“He’s not a bad kid. I think even your mother is coming around.”
“Why is she so resistant to liking Dylan?”
“You’ll have to ask her. That’s her story to tell.”
Hm. Guess I would have to ask her. We’d been spending a little more time together lately. She’d taken me for a manicure and we talked like we used to when I was a kid. Guess it’s been hard on her with me growing up.
She isn’t looking forward to it. Instead, she’s trying to minimize the pain.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, Taylor.”
“What if I didn’t go away to college?”
He looked at me, a very serious expression on his face. “You have to go to college, Taylor.”
“I’m going to college, but I don’t know what I want to do, so wouldn’t it be better if I went to the local community college until I figured out what I wanted?”
“You’ll sort it out.”
“Daddy, everyone is getting their acceptance and I haven’t applied yet.”
I didn’t know why I couldn’t tell him that I wanted to be nurse. It wasn’t a bad profession. You could make money and support yourself.
“Then you better get started.”
“How can I choose a college if I don’t know what I want to do?”
He sighed. “I don’t want you to miss out on the college experience, Taylor.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know if that’s what I want to do. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be on my own at some point, but why now?”
He brushed a hair off of my face. “We raise our kids to leave us. That requires you to leave at some point.”
He was all about independence, and I was more concerned about what I wanted to do. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. I think he might be disappointed in me. He didn’t have engineering plans like my mother did, but he wanted me to go to college.
I could compromise and get a Bachelor’s of Nursing, but where? Maybe I could come to them with something, a plan, better than what I had now.
A few months ago, I was content to go to the local two year college.
Maybe I had to rethink that. I didn’t mind going away now that I knew what I wanted. I would have to talk to my guidance counselor.
“Looks like I’ve got you thinking.”
“You have, Daddy. Will you be okay if I go do some research?”
“If this is about college, then go ahead, kitten.”
“Yes, it is.”
I left him, feeling like my future was brighter. I knew that I could go to college and study what I wanted. My mother would be a tougher sell, but if I got my father on my side, then I’d have an ally.