Chapter Twenty-Seven
GAVIN
“Hey, Dad, when are we going to hang out with Bethany again? We haven’t done that in a while.”
I looked to the left as Vinny’s bus headed down the block. I hadn’t spoken to Bethany in days, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to look beyond her past. I couldn’t tell Vinny the truth about it though, especially since he still had to see her every day at school. “Yeah, I know, son, I know. Just not right now, okay? There are some things going on between us that we have to figure out.”
“Are you two fighting?”
I wrinkled my brows. “Son, that doesn’t concern you, okay? You just focus on getting on your bus and doing well in school like you have been, okay?”
He sighed. “Alright, Dad.”
“Good. Now, have a good day, okay?”
“You, too, Dad.”
After his bus drove away, I went home and got ready for work. Sarah’s quitting day was coming up soon, and I didn’t know what we were going to do to replace her. We had been having trouble trying to find someone to fill that role permanently, and when she left, I had no idea what we were going to do after that. The day went by smoothly and afterward, I decided to hang out with Mike. Vinny had some after school activities that he had gotten involved in, so that gave us free time around happy hour, so I met him at one of the bars not too far from our neighborhood.
“What’s up, fucker?” he said as I walked to our table. He was already seated with drinks on the table when I arrived.
“What’s up, man?” I took a seat with no much expression.
“Aw shit, let me guess. You and that Beth chick are still at odds, right? Man, you never told me what the fuck happened anyway, so now that we have time, and Vinny’s ass isn’t around eavesdropping, we can talk. So, what the fuck did she do that was so fucking messed up?”
I took a swig of the Corona, then slid it back onto the table. “I know I shouldn’t be so hung up on this, but I found out something about her past.” I took another swig. “We were out getting something to eat last week, and all of a sudden, this guy walks up to our table. He goes, ‘Hey, Mystique?’ And when he says it, I’m looking at him like, ‘what the fuck?’, you know? I’m thinking he is clearly mistaken because Mystique sounds like a fuckin’ stripper name or some shit. But anyways, she tries to play it off like he doesn’t know what he is talking about, but the guy is adamant about knowing her. Soon after that, she admits to me that she used to be a stripper and the guy was one of her customers or some shit like that.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
He looked to the side as a group of women walked by us. He gave them a sexual glance as one of them returned it to him. “Yeah, I’ma have to talk to her before we leave. You can tell she wants me.”
I kicked his leg, “Come on, man, stay focused. I’ve got a fucking dilemma here.”
“A dilemma? Because she was a stripper?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly it. I mean, come on, you know what kind of girls they are. No morals. Willing to do anything for a buck. Like, I don’t even want to imagine the things she did while she was working. I know the things those chicks did when we went, and I always told myself that I could never date a chick like that. I mean, I didn’t see how guys could come in there and fall in love with them. I still don’t see it, and the irony is that I feel like I’ve become one of those guys.” I shook my head at my backwardness as I took another drink.
Mike laughed out loud at me as my eyebrows furrowed. “What the hell is so funny?”
“You, man. You are hilarious.”
“Why?”
“Let me ask you this. How many perfect women do you know in the world? How many women do you know that have a squeaky-clean past? I’ll wait.” He took a drink of his beer.
“No, Mike, I know where you are going with this, and it’s not the same.”
“Like hell it’s not the same. Look, one way or the other, these chicks out here have fucked or sucked or did some strange shit with a guy or two in their past. The only difference is she got paid for it. Now, just because she was a stripper doesn’t mean she was having sex with those guys because, whether you believe it or not, there are some strippers out there that won’t cross lines. Trust me,” he smiled, “I know that for a fact because I’ve tried it, and they always told me no. So, just because that’s the image they have, does not mean that is how all of them are. Now, I’ve only spoken with Brettnay–”
“Bethany.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Anyway, I’ve only spoken with the gal a few times, and she seems like she is a different person. Now, if you’re going to walk around judging people based on their past, then okay. But, if I remember correctly, your past is not the best. You’ve done some fucked up shit a lot of different times. You weren’t out there stripping, but I know you have a laundry list of women that you’ve run through like a fucking NFL running back.” He laughed and slapped his hand on the table, then took another drink. “Yeah, buddy, you’ve done a lot of dirt, and honestly, it is fucking hypocritical of you to smear her just because she stripped. So what? Did you ask her what she stripped for? Did you talk to her about any of that shit before you jumped the gun? Shit, I know my dollars are putting a lot of these chicks through college, so um, yeah, I think you need to do some more research before you attack her.”
For the first time I could remember, Mike gave me some advice that made sense. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system that helped him think outside the box, but either way, he said what I needed to hear. I leaned back in my seat as Mike fixed his attention on the group of girls that had walked in a little while ago. I knew he was setting his sights on the one that smiled at him. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. I flipped through my photo album and came across pictures of Bethany and Vinny. They looked as though they were enjoying each other’s company, and I would hate to take that away from Vinny. More importantly, I would hate to rob me and Bethany of a future because I was so stuck on her past. I owed her an apology, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it through a text message.
We stayed at the bar for another hour until it was time for me to leave and pick up Vinny. I left Mike at the bar and made my way to the school. I had hoped that I would see Bethany while I was there, but when Vinny trudged out of the school, I had a feeling that she was gone for the day. “What’s up, kid? How was science club?”
“It was okay. We were just prepping for the dissection tomorrow.”
“Dissection?”
“Yeah. We are going to be dissecting frogs.”
My lip curled as I looked at him. “That is nasty. You like that kind of stuff?”
“Well, I don’t like that the frogs die, but I like knowing what is inside of them. I know it sounds nasty, but it is interesting to me.”
“Hey, if you like it, I love it.” I looked towards the building, “Is Bethany gone?”
“Yeah. She normally leaves at 4 pm after the kids leave. She never stays later than that. Why?”
I put the car in drive, “I was just asking for myself. That’s all.”
“Okay.”
When we got home, I fixed Vinny some food, then walked into my room. My phone rang as soon as I laid in my bed. “Hello?”
“Gavin. Hi.”
“Hey, Karen.”
“How are you doing?”
“I am good.”
I made the mistake of calling her a few days ago when I was upset with Bethany. We talked for about an hour, and during that time, I realized one thing: we would never become more than what we were a few years ago. Throughout the whole phone call, all I did was compare her to Bethany. Our connection was unparalleled, and Karen’s sense of humor had changed by leaps and bounds since the last time we were together. I was searching for something that only Bethany had, and after speaking with Mike, I knew that she was where I wanted to be. “Hey, Karen, listen. I thought about what you asked me a little while ago and, at one point in time, I would’ve wanted to give us another shot. But, right now, I don’t think I am willing to give it a try. I think we are too different now. A lot different than we were back then.”
She exhaled into the phone. I would have loved to bring our family back together, and if Bethany weren’t in the picture, despite what I just told her, I think I would’ve given us another run, but it would’ve been for Vinny. He deserved it, but right now, I felt that if I wasn’t going to be with his mother, then Bethany would be the only other woman he would accept, and I was completely okay with that. “Well, I can’t say that I am not disappointed, but I understand. You’ve found somebody else and honestly, in the back of my mind, even with all the bullshit we went through, I felt that we would get another shot at this later in life. But things don’t always go the way I want them to.”
“Yeah. They don’t.” An awkward silence penetrated the phone until I spoke up again. “Listen, I am willing to try your way with Vinny. Maybe he can go to middle school up there in Philly and then head back this way for high school. I mean, I am willing to do something like that if you agree to it.”
“Really? Wow. I never would’ve thought that you would come around and agree to something like that.”
“Well, some things do change, you know? I can’t be the same guy my whole life. We have to leave some things in the past because that is where it belongs. So, with that being said, I am willing to come to a mutual agreement.”
“Alright. Well, let me think about that because I want to make sure the school districts up here are good enough for him because we both know that Vinny is a special child.”
“Very much so.”
“Okay. Well, I guess I will talk to you later… about Vinny, that is. Good luck with everything, Gavin. It was good talking to you.”
“Thank you, Karen. Good luck to you, as well.”
I hung up the phone, and with a smile on my face, I felt like I had overcome an obstacle. For as long as I could remember, I thought that Karen would always have a place in my heart, and she would, but just not romantically. Bethany had filled that spot, and it wasn’t until now that I realized it. Now, I didn’t care about her past. I wanted her in my future, and I wasn’t going to stop until she knew it as well.