Chapter Six
AMBER
Dylan didn’t come home until the following Monday. I was okay with that because I’d decided that I was going to end things with him. I’d talked to Marlene about it the night she picked Nona up and the next day when I saw Kyle again in the clinic, I knew that I had to do it. It wasn’t that I thought I had any chance of a relationship with Kyle, but the attraction I was feeling towards him really brought home that Dylan wasn’t the man I was meant to be with.
Dylan got home just as I was getting home from work. As soon as I stepped out of the car, he grabbed me and started putting his hands all over me and trying to kiss me. He smelled like horses, whiskey, and stale smoke. It made my stomach turn.
I pulled away from him and he said, “Jeez, nice welcome home.”
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t even gone inside yet. Give me a minute, okay?”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine. How about some help unloading the truck?”
I wanted to say no. He spends my money to go gallivanting around the country instead of getting a real job and then acts like it’s a real job. I didn’t want to piss him off before we had our talk, though, so I started pulling his tack out of the back end while he put the horse away. By the time we finished, I needed a shower.
“I’m going to shower and then I’ll make dinner,” I told him. He was already at the refrigerator getting a beer. He gave me a backwards nod as I went into the bathroom. Thinking about how grabby he was when he got home, I locked the door. I’d just stepped in when I heard him fumbling with the knob.
“What the fuck, Amber? Why is the door locked? I’ve seen your fat ass naked before.”
My stomach clenched in knots. “I’ll be out in a few minutes,” I tried.
“No…fucking let me in.”
“No, Dylan. Let me take my shower in peace.” That was when he started banging on the door. Shit. “Knock it off! I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Why don’t you want me to see you?”
“Jesus, Dylan, I don’t want to have this conversation through the door.”
“Then open it.”
“No.”
“Open it or I’ll kick the fucking thing down. Who do you think you’re saving that ass for? You should be grateful I still want to fuck you.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the warm water cascaded down across my neck and shoulders. God, I’m so tired of living like this. I hoped if I ignored him he would go away…and for a few minutes, it seemed to be working. I hurried through the rest of my shower, and just as I stepped out and reached for the towel flying pieces of wood came crashing in on top of me. The house was old and Dylan didn’t do anything to keep it up. The door splintered when he kicked it and pieces of it rained down on top of me. One of them knocked me off balance and I slipped on the wet floor, striking my forehead on the vanity as I went down.
I must have blacked out because when I woke up, I was lying in bed with a washcloth on my forehead. I was dried off and under the covers, but I was still naked. The room had gotten dark since I came home and I was disoriented. I panicked a little bit, not knowing how long I slept.
I pushed myself up to a sitting position and looked around. Dylan was in the chair next to the window, asleep. I lowered my feet to the floor and tried to ignore the pain and the nausea as I stood up. As soon as I was on my feet, the room began to spin and I had to sit back down. My stomach was rolling with acid and I felt like I was going to throw up. Shit. “Dylan!” He groaned, but he didn’t open his eyes. I was really going to be sick. I got back to my feet. I was still dizzy, but not as bad. I used the furniture to hold onto as I made my way into the bathroom. It looked like he cleaned it up after putting me to bed. The only evidence of what happened earlier was the dangling hinges where the door used to be. Asshole.
I took a towel down and kneeled in front of the toilet. I hadn’t eaten since lunch time, so my stomach was empty and I sat there and dry heaved for what seemed like hours. When I finally thought I was finished, my whole body was shaking and I didn’t feel like there was any way I’d be able to stand and walk back to the bed. Instead, I curled up on the towel and went to sleep.
*******
“Amber…Amber wake up.” Dylan had his hand on my shoulder, and he still stunk. I didn’t want to open my eyes. My head was pounding and my whole body hurt from the retching – the last thing I wanted to see was his face. “Amber.”
“Leave me alone!”
“I’m not going to leave you on the bathroom floor.”
“All of a sudden you’re filled with compassion?”
“I’m sorry, baby. You know I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I opened my eyes then. The son of a bitch smiled at me. “Fuck you, Dylan. I want you out of here, today.”
His smile turned into a smirk. “This house belongs to my parents. I’m not going anywhere.”
I pushed up to a sitting position. “Fine, I’ll leave.”
He sighed. “Come on, Amber. I had a little too much to drink and you pissed me off. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Come here, baby…” he reached for me, but I pushed back into the corner. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I laughed like a crazy person. “Oh, I don’t know, Dylan. It just dawned on me that I live with an abusive piece of shit who has an excuse for everything he does. A man who says he loves me, but the fact that I’m naked on the bathroom floor because I have a head injury that’s making me vomit begs to differ. I’m sick and tired of living like this. I want out.”
He ran his hand through his hair. It was thick and black, and he needed a haircut desperately. His face was also covered with three or four days’ worth of black stubble. His eyes were all bloodshot and his teeth were stained…he looked like shit. “Nine years, Amber – almost ten. We’ve been together for nine years. Are you just going to throw that away?”
“Dylan, can’t you see that there is nothing left here to throw away? You’re hardly ever here, and when you are, you’re drunk and mean as a snake. That’s no way to live. I hate my life. I want this to be over.”
“Amber-”
“No!” I grabbed hold of the counter and struggled to my feet. He tried to help me, but I shook him off. “No. I’m leaving, Dylan.”
That cocky look returned and he snorted. “You’ll be back.”
“No…not this time.” I’d left him twice before. Both times I made the mistake of letting him woo me back. Marlene told me if I left him this time, she’d take me in – but that if I went back to him, then that would be it.
“You’re fat and bitchy, and you can’t even carry a baby to term…” I slapped him, hard. He grabbed my arms and shoved me back into the wall. “Do not ever put your hands on me again.”
“You’re hurting my wrists,” I pleaded.
“Good,” he said as he let me go. I nearly fell to the ground, but caught myself. “You’re worthless. Get the fuck out of here.”
I got dressed and all I took with me was my purse and clean scrubs for work the next day. Dylan glared at me the whole time. When I got in my car and up the street, I pulled over and cried. I had to get it out of my system. When I finally stopped shaking and pulled myself together, I drove to my sister’s house. She opened the door and said, “I’m calling the cops.”
“Oh, Marlene, it’s early and I’m exhausted. Please don’t call the police. It’s going to scare Nona to have them here and think about your custody case if Jim gets wind of this.”
“So this piece of shit gets away with abusing you?”
“He didn’t lay a hand on me…” I saw her looking at my wrists then. “He grabbed my arms because I hit him. I fell and hit my head on the sink. Please, Marlene, I just want to lie down.”
She took my bag and led me to the guest room. She sat the bag down and said, “Are you going to work?”
“No, I already called off. I just need to sleep.”
She hugged me and there were tears in her eyes. “Please don’t go back.”
“I won’t.” I crawled into the bed as she turned off the light. A few minutes later, she brought me a pain pill. I didn’t even ask what it was. I took it, closed my eyes, and slipped off into a dream.
It was about Kyle.